Chapter 1 - Entry 1

Dear Diary…

Who knows…maybe I am the sane one and they're the crazy ones…but who am I to say? I do not know…all I know is I am not to blame …a shattered philosophy spoken by a broken person with blaring music in her ears…nothing is heard anymore…just the screams of those lost in memory…I forgot them…now they are back…I don't know what to tell them…I'm sorry doesn't cut it…and there is nothing more I can do…so lost…now they are here in my ears over the music that I have on the loudest setting…the smell of oil paint is filling this room…its kind of sickening really…there is no way to escape it now…someone else is playing music right now…really loudly too…that too is over my music…wish they'd stop…it sucks…am I a liar? May be I speak the truth…but again I do not know…I try to run from my problems all the time…right now they are catching up to me…ever since I got the friends I do…I've been broken…just like them…I'm the only one who sees it, too…they are all too blind to do as such…but maybe I'm going down a crazy spiral…the memories in my head…the music is fading and their voices are defining…god…? Why did you curse with such an ability…to feel what others feel but I cannot feel my own feelings anymore? I speak what others say…no longer with my own voice…just a robot with recordings…I cant hear myself anymore…they wont let me…a small voice drowned out by those who think they should choose what I do…make it stop…or I will…

From Natalie…

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