Chapter 7 - Betrayal, Denial, Rejection

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I have a really strong feeling that not a lot of people are going to like this chapter. I’m not sure why. It’s just a gut feeling I guess. And for those of you who haven’t realized it yet, I’m trying really hard to keep the storyline inside the original KH2 storyline. So yeah... I hope you like this chapter. It moves a little quickly. If you don’t like it, I’m sorry to disappoint. Don’t flame me, please, because if you don’t like it, I honestly don’t want to hear you dog about it. Thanks!

WARNING: Shounen-Ai warning! If you’re not into boy/boy love, then why the hell are you reading this story:D

PART 7
'Betrayal, Denial, Rejection'

A few days went by. Xemnas initiated the new kid. His new name was Roxas, number Thirteen, and he was named the ‘Key of Destiny’. Xemnas knew something about Roxas that he wouldn’t share with the rest of us. I felt it every time he was near. I could just feel that there was something wrong.

Roxas felt very out of place. Although he was immediately accepted (Vexen told him as a joke that knocking me out was his initiation test), He just didn’t flow with the rest of us. I figured it was because of his whole heart situation. Xemnas told Axel and I, but told us to keep quiet about it. I figured he told Saïx, as well. Honestly, I didn’t know what the big deal was. It made him special, and crucial to our plans. We wanted our hearts back, and we needed the Key Bearer. How lucky for us that the Key Bearer has a Nobody!

Roxas usually hung out with Axel and I. He didn’t talk much at first, but after a while, he began to come out of his shell. And the three of us started to become great friends. He was really a nice kid, and he knew how to have a good time, even for a teenager.

Oh, I should probably mention the girl in white. She woke up not to long after Roxas did. She told us her name was Namine, and refused to alter it in any way. It was almost like she knew what was going on, and refused to accept it. She wouldn’t take a black coat, or a title. She was about 9 years old. Xemnas told her that he wanted to test her skills, and she refused that also. She said that she knew her skills, and he had no right to dig into her personal business like that. Defeated, Xemnas just sent her to Larxene’s room. I remember Xaldin commenting, “It’s bad enough we have one moody woman on our hands.”

“Namine is quite different from Larxene. From any of us. She already knows everything I’ve tried to explain.” Xemnas sighed, perplexed. “She’s hiding something, and if she doesn’t present herself soon, I may have to force it out of her.”

Good for her, rebelling against the system. Xemnas wasn’t too pleased, though. I wonder how he plans to force it out of her. The only person she would talk to after that was Roxas. Who knows why? I didn’t think much of it, though.

Ever since, Xemnas, Saïx, and Marluxia sat in the lab, and discussed plans, or something like that. I don’t really know. They never told me anything. I just hung out with Axel and Roxas, and that’s all that mattered to me. Being with friends. Being with Axel. Then, of course, entered Xigbar.

“Heyo, boys!” He said, marching up to us. We had been playing an amusing game of Egyptian Ratscrew with Luxord, and I was winning.

“Hey Xiggy,” Axel waved.

“Yo, Zebra,” I grinned, picking up a pile of cards I had won. Roxas said nothing.

“Care to be dealt in?” Luxord offered.

“Nah, cards ain’t my thing.” Xigbar said. He suddenly turned to Roxas. “What, no greeting for your superior?”

“…” Roxas just stared at the cards on the table. “Dem, it’s your turn.”

“Whatever, little dude.” Xigbar rolled his eyes (er, eye, I guess, since he only has one.) “Have you guys heard the news yet?”

“News about what?” Luxord asked.

“Xemnas is forming all sorts of weird plans,” He grinned big. “He says he knows how to capture the Key Bearer! But that’s all he’s told me”

“..Because you have a big mouth.” Roxas muttered.

“What was that, short-stack?”

“…”

“Listen, small-fry, we respect our elders around here.”

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re a delusional child.” I couldn’t help but laugh a little. Roxas was defiantly winning this verbal war. It was when Xigbar reached for his guns, Axel and I jumped in. Luxord just wanted to see a fight.

“Put ‘em away, Xig,” Axel warned, rising from his chair. “You don’t wanna shoot the new kid, now do ya?”

“Oh, believe me, Axel, I’d LOVE to, but I can’t for Xemnas’ sake.” Xigbar scowled, mumbling as he walked away.

“I don’t think he likes you,” I noted.

“I don’t care.” Roxas scoffed, turning his head.

“Man, you’re adorable!” Axel jeered, locking Roxas in a hug. I chuckled, yet slightly confused. “Hey, me and Roxas going to go kill some Heartless. Wanna join?”

“Eh, not really. You two have fun” I smiled, standing up. Axel shrugged, and I left the room.

The next two weeks were strange. I saw less and less of Axel as the days went on. Soon, I didn’t see him at all. I spent my days alone. And it hurt. Every time I tried to seek out Axel for any reason, he was either ‘busy’ or ‘didn’t have time’. I started to get annoyed. We were inseparable for so long. Even if he was ‘busy’, he’d usually want some company. He always told me how lonely he gets. And when I saw him around the castle, he was usually with Roxas. I didn’t have a problem with the kid, not at all, but I wanted to know what was going on. I didn’t mind if they were close friends. I’m not the jealous type. I just wanted to have some time with Axel, too.

One night later, I sat alone in my room, continuing that melody I started. I sat at my window, feeling the breeze on my face, in my hair. So very relaxing, soothing, calming. Then a fist abruptly knocked on my door.

“Who is it?” I called, slightly irritated.

“Who do you think?” It was Xigbar. And he didn’t sound too happy. My sitar dissolved into steam as I stood up. I opened the door to see Xaldin there with him. Both of them had their hair down, Xaldin in a navy blue robe, Xigbar in his boxers.

“Can we come in?” Xigbar asked. I looked at my clock. 2AM.

“What could you two possibly want this late?” I opened the door, and they came in, Xaldin closing the door behind him.

“We need to talk.” Xigbar said sternly, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“...What about?”

“Axel and Roxas.”

“Xigbar, I really-”

“No, you don’t get it. Let me explain-”

“Xigbar, I’d really appreciate-”

“Demyx stop and listen to me.”

“They’re just friends, guys. Axel doesn’t get new friends often. He’s just excit-”

“Demyx!” Xaldin boomed. His voice much deeper than either mine, or Xigbar’s. We both jerked our heads and stared at him. “Either you’re delusional, in denial, or just plain stupid. Can you not see what is going on here?” I shook my head.

“We’re worried because we know how much you love Axel,” Xigbar sighed, in a softer voice. “We’re afraid that if you weren’t told, you’d never find out.”

“Guys, I think you’re just paranoid. Axel is-”

“Axel is in his room right now with Roxas, the door; locked.” Xaldin growled, crossing his arms.

“...Well it is 2 in the morning, guys! Obviously they’re.. They’re sleeping. ” I fought back. “Roxas doesn’t have a room yet. And Axel is just a good friend.”

“You’re starting to doubt your own thoughts, aren’t you?” Xigbar nearly cracked a smile. “The other day, after I handed you you’re assignments, I saw Axel and Roxas together walking down the hall. Axel took his hand. I saw Roxas protest, but Axel wouldn’t listen. Then, just a few minutes ago. The reason why I thought you should know. We were playing poker in Luxord’s room. The door was cracked, and we heard shouts, and yells. I peeked my head out to see a very angry Roxas being carried by what looked like a very smug Axel. Axel refused to put him down, and they entered Axel’s room, locking the door. I knew that look in his eyes... Demyx?” I left the room. I was more angry than anything. Why would Xigbar say something like that? I knew he was after me, but this was ridiculous. What a jerk thing to do. I planned on marching down to Axel’s room and having him do something about Xigbar. I was tired of dealing with his bullshoot.

And there was his room. The door was made of steel, and had a symbol of a large ‘A’ surrounded in flames. I knocked on his door. No answer. He was probably sleeping. This was awful. I tried to open his door, but it was indeed locked. I started to get suspicious, but I wouldn’t let that get the best of me. Xigbar was lying. It was time to prove it.

Just as I was summoning my sitar, Zexion appeared at the staircase entrance to our hallway. Beside him was Xigbar and Xaldin. I began to play a sweet melody, and water formed around me. Using my notes, I commanded it to enter the room through the cracks, and unlock the door.

“Demyx, stop!” Zexion called, running up to me, Xigbar and Xaldin right behind him.

“Zex? It’s like 2 in the morning.”

“I know. Listen. These guys speak the truth. I was with them”

“Oh for frack’s sake, not you too.” I was really getting mad now. Zexion was probably my best friend aside from Axel. He wouldn’t lie to me, would he?

“Demyx, you won’t be pleased with what you’d see in that room.”

“Yeah, not only is Axel committing some kind of juvenile rape, but he’s breaking whatever bond you two had when you were ‘together’. You hear me?” I stopped the water from opening the door. Somehow I knew they were right. I was afraid to admit it, but I knew it. I tried to deny the thoughts, but I couldn’t any longer. I said nothing.

“...Dem? Are you all right?” Zexion asked. I didn’t speak, nor did I move. Just stood there, gathering thoughts, and assessing what was around me. Nodding my head, I opened a dark shadowy portal beneath my feet.

“Demyx, wait!” I don’t know who called out to me, but I had slipped down, and closed the door behind me. I flew through the darkness, not caring where I’d end up. I just wanted it to stop, to end. Not my life, of course, oh no. I just wanted to stop the shouting, the drama, the pain. Even if I knew they were right, I didn’t want to hear it any longer. I didn’t care where I ended up. I flowed through the darkness until I felt like landing. And then I did. Soon, I felt wet, and was drenched. I opened my eyes to see I was floating in a dimly lit ocean that led to nowhere. Strange dark rock formations rose from the sea, and the sand was black. I swam to shore to find that it was closed off, and secluded. I was alone on this dark beach. There was a soft wind. For a place built from darkness, it had a calm, serene glow. I felt at peace here. The sound of the waves, the flow of the wind. I sat on a rock, and thought for a long time. All I could think about was Axel. Axel. His spiked red hair, his shimmering green eyes, his smooth, pale skin. I shook my head. After all that, why can’t I stop thinking about him? It seems he has chosen Roxas, a child he’s known for 2 weeks, over me, a friend and love for more than a year. Why do I feel this pain if I cannot feel? The throbbing pain of disappointment, and rejection was swelling in my chest, where my heart should be. Betrayal. I must speak with Roxas. I need to set things straight.

I must have passed out at some point, because I woke up, covered in dark sand, and several feet from the rock I had been sitting on. I decided that was enough pouting. I couldn’t become an emotional wreck over this. For once, I had to stand up for myself. And I had to do it now. I left the dark beach through a dark door that led to my bedroom. I quickly left, and ran to Axel’s door. It was late in the morning, he had to be awake by now. I pounded on the door. No answer, and the door was still locked. I began to pound harder, yelling “Axel, wake up. I need to talk to you. Axel, open your door!” Then I heard footsteps, noisy shuffling, and a lock turn. There was some whispering, though I couldn’t make out what was being said. The door opened and there was Axel. He had dark rings under his eyes, his undershirt was ruffled, and wrongly buttoned, and his boxers were falling off his @$$.

“Oh, good morning, Demyx.” He smiled, trying to fix his hair, which was a ball of red mess.

“Have a rough night?” I scowled, crossing my arms. He had nowhere to hide, and I wasn’t letting him leave until all my questions had been answered.

“I didn’t get much sleep last night. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to see how you were. I was looking for you yesterday.”

“Yeah, sorry. I was busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Doing..? Well...”

“Roxas?”

“What?” He suddenly straightened up, shocked at the mention of Roxas’ name. “Of course not!”

“Oh really?” I said, stepping toward the door. It was only open a crack. I tried pushing it open a tad more, against Axel’s wish. He immediately stepped out.

“What do you want, Demyx?” his voice filled with frustration.

“Axel, I miss you.” I gripped him tight. “I haven’t seen you lately. I miss being with you.”

“I’m sorry, but I’ve had a lot to do,” he said, immediately breaking my grasp, and stepping back into his room.

“What is there to do? Our only jobs are to do what Xemnas tells us, and he hasn’t handed any assignments out lately. So what exactly have you been busy with?” I tried opening the door again. I caught the sight of a small, black boot next to Axel’s bed. Before I could look twice, a small hand grabbed the boot, and shuffled away.

“Are you done?” Axel asked, glaring. Before he could say another word, my fist had collided with his nose. And he went down like a tree. I swung the door open wide to see Roxas, nearly naked, collecting his clothes. He froze in fear when he saw me at the door. He looked at Axel, then at me. He was cornered. Axel began to squirm, and sat up.

“What the hell, Demyx?” he yelled. “What the frack are you doing?!” I took hold of his shoulders as he stood, and kneed him hard in the gut. He went down for a second time. I lunged at Roxas, taking him down.

“Now, you’re going to be a good boy, and answer all of my questions, or I’ll snap your neck.”
---
What a fantasy I was lost in. I wish that happened. Then maybe, I wouldn’t be in the situation I am in now. But here’s what really happened.

“What is there to do? Our only jobs are to do what Xemnas tells us, and he hasn’t handed any assignments out lately. So what exactly have you been busy with?” Axel pushed me away from the door frame.

“What does it matter to you? Go away.” Then slammed the door in my face. Something was dreadfully wrong. Now, I’m not stupid, or a drama queen, as many of you might think at this point. Axel was different. He had never been like this as long as I’ve known him. Axel was fine until he showed up. Roxas. This was all his fault. I didn’t even want to talk to him anymore. I probably should have, but I was too angry to care at this point. I stormed away from his room, down the hall, and down the stairs. Anger turned to hatred, to sadness, and I began to cry. It wasn’t a loud, childish cry, but more of a secluded, rage-filled cry. And the tears wouldn’t stop. I walked to the other side of the castle, of the Wing stairs, and through the halls on the other side. I stopped in front of Xigbar’s door. Another steel door with a carving of a Gun with a ‘II’ behind it. I couldn’t speak at this point, I was so overwhelmed with these emotions. I didn’t understand it. We don’t have emotions!

I knocked hard on his door. It opened in a fury. He was wearing pants, and his boots, his hair tied in a lose pony tail. I couldn’t say anything, choking on my tears. He quickly rushed me into his room, closing the door behind him.

“Demyx! We were looking everywhere for you!” He took my hands, and I felt the concern in his voice. “Are you all right?”

“Am I all right?” I found the strength to speak. “You see me now, how I’m so consumed by false emotions and you ask if I’m all right? Yes! Everything is fracking amazing right now, how are you?” I threw my hands up, emphasizing my sarcasm.

“I’m only trying to help.” Xigbar sighed. “Have a seat, and let’s talk.”

“I’m sick of talking. All I’ve been doing is talking, and it’s getting me nowhere. I’m finished talking. It’s time to act upon the talk.”

“Dem, what are you talking about?” I could no longer speak. I started to cry hard once more. I felt like I was going to collapse, and backed into a wall. Xigbar quickly ran to my aid, but I pushed him away. I was a wreck.

“Xigbar...” I sighed, between sobs.

“What is it, Demyx?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“I didn’t believe you. I called you a liar, and thought you were just jealous. I should’ve believed you. You’re one of my closest friends, and I don’t know what I would do without you.” Then came more tears. Xigbar, unsure of what to do, took me in his arms, and held me tightly. I grabbed him tightly, quietly sobbing into his chest.

“This rush of emotion you’re having... I don’t understand it either” He told me. “Shh.. Calm down. I’m here.” He rubbed my back in a soothing motion. I was tired of standing there, against the wall. We began to sink to the floor. He softly pushed me away from him, and stared into my bloodshot eyes. He pulled my wet face close to his.

“He may not love you anymore, but I sure do.” He put his mouth to mine. I was alarmed, but I didn’t stop him. This was a whole new level of unwanted, unreal emotion. And it forced me into a horrible round of indecision, caught between right and wrong, go and stop, yes and no. My mind started racing, shouting, ‘No, stop!’, and then ‘Don’t stop!’, but it was no use. I wouldn’t break away. I was too broken by this point to pull from him.

He pulled me closer, breaking what little space between us there was. I knew I had to stop this before it got too far. Placing my hands on his bare chest, I started to push. He was holding me tightly, but realized my wishes, and let go. Our lips separated slowly. While I was able to speak, I did.

“Please… Stop.” I gasped. As cheesy as it sounds, he left me literally breathless. “Xigbar… I can’t…” He sighed and nodded his head, smiling down at me.

“If you keep crying, you’ll exhaust yourself.” He helped me to my feet, then hugged me tightly. “No matter what happens, I’ll still be here for you.” I tried to thank him, but I couldn’t speak. He was so kind to me, so caring, and I felt balanced with him. At that moment, Axel had stopped flooding my mind. My thoughts were blank.

Xigbar took my hand, and led me to the door. It was still the middle of the day.

“I’m not gonna leave you alone until I know you’re okay.” He said, opening the door. I was breathing normally again, and my sobs had ceased. My eyes were still red, but were dry. “I don’t know what happened, so I hope you will tell me later.” We began to walk down the hall. During our walk, I told him about how I confronted Axel, and I blamed Roxas. My reasoning included the fact that Axel had completely changed in the time that Roxas arrived. He listened carefully, and intently to everything I had said.

“I feel like I should talk to Xemnas about it,” I sighed. “He seems like he knows more about Roxas than he’s letting us believe.”

“That might be true,” He replied. “Xemnas knows a lot more than we do. It’s best not to jump to any conclusions. And we can’t be entirely sure that Roxas has anything to do with it. ” I nodded. He put his arm around me. “Let’s go talk to Xemnas.”

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