Chapter 9 - Xigbar's Tale I

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kingdom hearts.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Wow chapter 9 already? I even amaze myself sometimes. I’m going to prophesize and say that I predict this story to be about 15 chapters long, give or take.

Woot!

Onward!

PART 9
'Xigbar's Tale I'

“I guess it’s best to start from the beginning.” Xigbar faintly smiled, still gazing at the ground. He paused for a long time, probably collecting his thoughts. I was eager to know. I’ve only known him roughly one year and here he said he’s known me for more. How did he know who I was before I was a Nobody?

“All right. The beginning. ” He took a deep breath, and told his tale.

“Years ago, who even remembers how long, the first six of us were young, avid, aspiring scientists under the rule of probably the smartest man of his time, Ansem the Wise. Our recent studies had influenced us to study the heart, and how it tied us together. We wanted to know what made a heart turn to darkness or light. Doing so proved to be a problem. Xehanort, the man Xemnas is a Nobody of, wanted to experiment on darkness, and it’s origin. Ansem thankfully refused. Realizing what problems we could create, Ansem ordered us to cease all experiments on the heart. We were very discouraged, but we obeyed. Xehanort had other plans.

“Unfortunately, he convinced us to keep working on the heart, even if it was against our master’s wishes. He said that as long as he had no knowledge of it, he wouldn’t care. For months we worked behind Ansem’s back, extracting darkness from hearts, extracting hearts from unsuspecting villagers. It was terrible, and I still regret it.

“Then the real problems began. We took the dormant darkness and gave it life, and gave it form. The mass of shadows twitched in it’s cage until it took a most definite shape. It had glowing yellow eyes, and twitching antennae. We had created a Heartless. It was a great success, or so we thought. We were brilliant, and we knew it. After a few days, the castle at Radiant Garden grew darker and darker. The Heartless were multiplying, and growing in strength. We all turned to Xehanort for help for it was his great idea in the first place, but he didn’t know what to do. We tried our best to keep the Heartless in the labs because if Ansem saw them, we would be toast.

“A few days later, Xehanort came up with another genius plan. He wanted to plunge into darkness, and seize the power of the Heartless. He wanted us to embrace the Heartless and become their leaders, rather than their creators. ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’ We laughed. How so naive we were. How very inexperienced. Why did we let our greed for power over take us?

“One scientist rebelled. He knew this was a bad idea. He was probably the only

voice of reason, and we never listened to him. Poor, young Ienzo. You know him now as Zexion.”

“Zexion?” I interrupted. I was utterly astonished. I could have sworn it was Vexen who might have rebelled.

“Yes, Zexion. The rest of us were too power hungry. Especially Even, err Vexen. He was probably just as bad as Xehanort.” He continued. “Anyway, Ienzo learned of our plans, then rushed to inform Ansem. I only wish our friend made it in time. He spilled it all to Ansem just before Xehanort entered the room, and had Dilan and I escort them to the lab.”

“Dilan?”

“Xaldin.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry, I keep forgetting that you don’t know their real names.”

“What was yours?”

“Braig.”

“That leaves Lexaeus.”

“Eleaus.”

“Ah, I see.” I paused. “What was mine?”

“… Just let me continue.” I nodded and he began once more. “So we were in the lab, surrounded by Heartless, Ienzo and Ansem in a cage. By this point, I believe Xehanort had gone completely mad. I saw the burning craze in his eye.

‘Who wants to go first?!’ he sounded excited, greatly anticipating the result. He then pointed to Ienzo.

‘You shall be first, traitor.’ He scowled. Elaeus and Dilan grabbed each of his arms and pulled him from the cage. They threw him to the ground, and we all moved back.

‘You’re insane, Xehanort!’ He screamed his last before the Heartless attacked. It was the most horrific and gruesome thing I had seen in ages. My dear friend, and collegue being torn apart by demonic shadows. They clawed at his coat, ripped his skin, he screamed and yelled yet none of us ran to his aid. We simply watched as our friend was tormented. His eyes grew wide, and from his chest burst a shining light.

‘It’s happening!’ Xehanort hissed. We watched closer as Ienzo fell backward, into the shadows, and all that was left was his heart, floating freely among the darkness. Immediately, the Heartless jumped at it, grabbing at it, trying to consume, and destroy it, but they were unsuccessful as the heart floated away into oblivion. Ienzo was gone.

“We stood for a long while, watching the evil creatures multiply even more. They were growing restless, and eager for hearts. And before we knew it, they rebelled against us. We were their next victims. Trying to run, they barricaded the door, forcing us to be cornered. Ansem was still in his cage, screaming for us to let him out so he could destroy them. We were too afraid to move. Then the assault came, and the darkness came over us. The last thing I remember from that was seeing Xehanort in a frenzy, laughing like a mad man. Then was darkness. Overbearing, thick, painful darkness.

“I awakened to see rubble all around me. I quickly sat up and realized I was in the castle still. Had I survived? I looked around to see the bodies of my colleagues. At least, I thought it was them. Taking a closer look, there was something different about them. They had changed, physically, and they no longer looked the same. Dilan used to have dark red hair that met at his shoulders. Now, his hair was extremely long, and a dark shade of black. Even went from a brunet to a blonde, and looked older to me. Ienzo was smaller, and his hair was an odd periwinkle shade. Elaeus had fiery orange hair that stood up on end. I wondered how I looked.

“Looking around, I saw that the lab was completely destroyed. The cage Ansem was in was crushed, but Ansem’s body was nowhere to be found. I had hoped he got out safely. My comrades began to awaken and we all looked at each other like we met for the first time. None of us recognized the other, and the only similarities we kept were found in our faces. Our eyes. Our eyes were the same colors, only brighter, and seemed only glowing. We stood to embrace, and thank the heavens for our safety, when we noticed Xehanort was missing.

“We found him, still unconscious on the opposing side of what used to be the lab. And he wasn’t alone. There were two men there, one with long, white hair, much like Xehanort, and another with locks of silver. The silver-haired one was the first to wake up.

‘We have lived,’ he said, starting to smile. He stood, and shouted louder, ‘We have lived!’

‘Xehanort?’ I asked.

‘Yes, it is me. Why do you look so odd?’

‘We’ve all changed, sir. We feel different, like we’re missing something. What happened to us?’

‘I am not sure. Look at this place, it’s a wreck!’ He walked around, examining all the broken furniture, the broken glass, the destroyed walls. It was then we all realized we had let the Heartless escape. It was a horrible feeling, knowing we let those monstrosities into the worlds.

“A few days passed, the majority of us forcing Xehanort to research us, find out what happened, why we changed, and stuff like that. We were all feeling a rush of emotions and then they would be gone. It was a strange sensation, and we couldn’t figure out why. We felt dazed, empty, and incomplete.

‘Gentlemen,’ He said, coming to some kind of conclusion. ‘I have been doing soft experiments on Even, thanks for volunteering.’ Even nodded. ‘I took DNA, and skin samples to try to pinpoint what went wrong, but when I connected the samples to the computer, I was getting errors and such. Usually the computer can tell dead tissue from live tissue, and tear apart the DNA. But… The errors made me think. If our computer cannot identify us, then maybe we’re not real.’ How absurd, I thought.

‘Not real? How can we be not real? We survived the attack of the Heartless without becoming Heartless ourselves. We live! And we’re here to prove it!’ Xehanort shook his head. He pointed to Ienzo.

‘We all saw it.’ He said, straight faced. ‘Ienzo lost his heart, and faded to darkness. The Heartless could not devour his heart. And here he stands. His heart floated to who knows where, but here he stands. Maybe he’s not real. Maybe he doesn’t exist.’ Dumbfounded, we all stared at Ienzo who was indeed standing there, and was alive and well.

‘I must run more tests…’ Xehanort mumbled. ‘Please be patient.’ He called Ienzo to him, and they began more experiments. I couldn’t help but feel that Xehanort was right. That we weren’t real. We were nothings. But I wouldn’t believe it. Even if he proved it, I wouldn’t. I still had my whole life to live, and I wasn’t going to let some freak accident destroy that for me.

“Surprisingly, it had been weeks later, but every day felt the same. Nothingness, and emptiness. That’s all I felt anymore. Every day, the same thing. And I felt like I didn’t care. I had no emotion to express. I was utterly confused, but still, didn’t care. Finally, Xehanort emerged with Ienzo, finally bringing us a conclusion. We gathered around him as he began to finally explain the madness.

‘I’ve come to a very disappointing conclusion.’ A Pause. ‘We do not exist. We are nothing. We are not supposed to be.’

‘Well that’s bloody depressing,’ Dilan almost laughed.

‘We are the bodies of our former selves left by the darkness. We belong to neither darkness or light, and that makes us nothings. When a heart leaves one’s body, the body behind either dissolves into darkness, or I guess becomes what we are. Gentlemen, we have no hearts, but as far as I know, we’ve gained strength. We have new power coursing through us.’

‘So that’s why we feel incomplete,’ I concluded. ‘We have no hearts… That’s why the emotions have been so out of whack.’

‘Indeed,’ Xehanort nodded. But I wasn’t ready to accept that, and I exploded in new found, stronger than ever, rage.

‘This is ABSURD!’ I stomped the ground. The rubble shook around me. ‘How can you say we do not exist when clearly we are right here! Clearly we are, my friend. Maybe you don’t but this is all your fault anyway!’ I pointed an accusing finger at Xehanort who was at a loss for words. This anger was filling me, and I was pretty much losing my cool at this point. The rocks around me shook, and I felt like I was floating. ‘You can just take your science, your experiments, and your Heartless and leave me out of it! I still have my life to live and-’ I felt my hands get heavy. I looked down to see large, spiked guns in each hand. ‘Where the frack did these come from!?’ I was completely lost in the madness by this point. I then realized I WAS floating and so were the boulders that surrounded me. ‘This is madness,’ I hissed. Concentrating my thoughts hard, my desire to escape came true when a portal of swirling shadows opened beside me. Not thinking twice, I entered, and left.

“For a long time, I was traveling there. I was still in a shredded lab coat, and the guns glued to my hands. Where had these marvelous weapons come from? It didn’t make sense to me, but then again, after all that had happened, very little made sense anymore. Finally I opened another portal and left that awkward, dark world. I looked around to see I was in another world. Far from the empty depths of what used to be Radiant Garden. It was no longer the beautiful castle it once was. Because of us, it was reduced to a hollow fortress, a bastion, and a shell of what it once was. A hollow bastion. Empty shell. Is that what we now were?

“The world I was in was a small town. It was night, and the flashing lights blinded my sensitive eyes. The town was quiet, and there was nearly no one around. Feeling out of place, I quickly ran to the nearest shop. I bought new clothes, and had a chance to look in a mirror. I finally saw the damage that had been done.

“I’ll tell you, kid, I used to think I was a devilishly handsome young man. I had long, wavy light brown hair, and my eyes were a soft golden. But now… Seeing my reflection shocked me to no end. My hair was straight, black, and was beginning to streak grey. My eyes were glowing bright yellow, much like the Heartless. I feared the image before me, and sometimes I’m still bothered by it when I wake up in the morning.

“It was right then and there I decided I would never go back to the castle. I decided to wander the worlds, and live a real life, away from science, away from darkness, far from Xehanort’s reach.

“Three months I was like that, wandering world to world, roaming the empty skies, trying to fill the void in my chest. I never spoke to anyone, and I would only stay in said world for a few days before moving on. I wanted to find a place where I was happy. But no matter where I was, I felt empty, and like I was fading away. I soon wondered if people could see me. I seemed to pass through unnoticed. I felt like a horrible depression hung over my head, yet I never actually felt it. The lack of heart prevented me from truly feeling anything, however, I could still pretend. I remembered what it was like to have those feelings, remembered what it was like to have a heart. Why was this happening to me? I was sure by now, Xehanort and the others had come to terms with their new selves, and were possibly living with it. Why couldn’t I?

“The last world I visited was a sea-side town. It was rather large, and the beach was magnificent. I arrived late in the night, so no one was around. I walked along the beach for about an hour. The waves were calming, and the air cleared my thoughts. It was very serene and peaceful. Suddenly, I began to hear a most beautiful melody. I stopped walking, closed my eyes, and listened. I had no idea where it was coming from, but it was so relaxing, so beautiful. It flowed amazingly. When it had come to an end, I was sad. I frantically looked around. Where had it come from?

“Then, it started again. I glanced to where I thought it was coming from. There was a high cliff reaching over the sea. I was sure that’s where it was coming from. I started to walk toward the cliff. Soon, the image of a man came clear to me. He seemed to be playing some instrument, creating the music. As I came closer to the cliff, I saw that it was a young man. His eyes were closed, and he swayed to the music. I just stood and watched him. It brought me the peace I had been searching for. But I was distracted when I saw movement behind him.

“I couldn’t make out what it was, but it was dark, small, and more and more began to form. They were racing up the cliff toward the man. Trying to get a closer look, I then realized what they were. The Heartless! How had they gotten out here already? I was far from my home, but here they were. There was no way I was going to let these monsters destroy my happiness again. I started to run toward the cliff. Before I knew it, the creatures jumped at the man, startling him, and pushing him over the edge. My mind screamed as the man tumbled down the rock and splashed into the salty sea. Forgetting the Heartless, I ran into the waves, crashing against the tide. I wasn’t going to have those monsters ruin another’s life. They’ve taken everything from me, but they won’t take this moment. Curse those miserable beasts!

“Fighting the tides, I raced after the fallen man. I was up to my ears with salt water, but the man was no where to be found. I frantically scanned the dark water. Nothing. Had he gone under? Cursing the Heartless, I dove deep into the water. I couldn’t see; it was too dark. I swished my arms around until I hit what I thought was a rock. I pulled at it, noticing it was far too light. Feeling more, I felt the frame of shoulders and a head. I had found the man! I swiftly pulled him above the waves, swimming back to shore.

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