Chapter 10 - Xigbar's Tale II

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Kingdom Hearts, but Myde is sort of mine.

WARNING: This chapter contains some Shounen-Ai (boyXboy love!) If you’re against any sort of relationship like this, then please, stop reading the story RIGHT NOW!

You can view my journal about this story at my Xanga. xanga(dot)com(slash)velika

Now, the rest of you... READ! Remember, this is continuing Xigbar’s story from Chapter 9!

PART 10
'Xigbar's Tale II'

“I pulled him onto the cold sand. I wish I had some kind of light. From what I could see, he was just a young brunet, thin, and mildly toned. I leaned over and placed my ear to his chest. Thankfully, I heard the gentle throb of his pulse. However, no air passed from his lips. I would have probably performed CPR if I knew how. I didn’t want to take a chance, and crush his lungs. Beginning to panic, I did the first thing that came to my mind.

‘LIVE, DAMN YOU, LIVE!’ I cried, shaking his shoulders. I might’ve slapped him a few times, I don’t really remember. Suddenly, the most miraculous thing happened. His eyelids began to twitch, fluttering about. I highly doubt anything I had just done had helped, but hey, I was excited to no end.

‘You’re alive!’ I shouted with joy. ‘This is amazing!’ He coughed and sputtered water.

‘W-where am I?’ He stuttered. ‘What’s going on?’ I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. ‘Who are you?’

‘I-I’m.. I’m nobody.’ I finally said, standing up, backing away.

‘No, wait,’ he said, concerned. ‘You saved my life! Please, come back!’ It was too late. I ran. I couldn’t face him. I saved his life, but why? He wanted to know who I was, and I wanted to know who he was, but... No. It was better if he never knew I was there. If no one knew I was there. I was nothing, and I deserved to be forgotten. I stopped to catch my breath. I figured there was no reason to leave now. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. I decided to sneak behind an Inn, and collapse by an outdoor furnace.

“The next day, I didn’t really want to leave. Something inside told me to stay a little longer. I humored this feeling by walking around town. It was a quiet place, and there wasn’t much activity. I passed by a small restaurant, smelling grease, and various cakes. Why not, I thought. I went in.

“The smells were stronger inside, but I didn’t mind it. It was like a normal diner, loud clanging plates from the kitchen, thousands of conversations around the Booth seats, and half the bar stools filled. I took a seat by the counter. It was then and there I had realized I had no money, and I hadn’t actually eaten since the accident. I had no hunger. There was no purpose to me being where I was. However, the atmosphere made me stay. I enjoyed it very much.

“What made me stay there, I really don’t know. Maybe actually being around people. Real people. Hearing the gossip, the complaints, all normal things I had left behind. It was then I felt a tap on my shoulder.

‘Hey cutie,’ it was a waitress. ‘You gonna jus’ sit there an’ be pretty, or are you gonna buy somethin’?’ Her speech was terrible. Mine can be pretty bad when I don’t watch myself, but this was far worse. I smiled.

‘Actually, I don’t have any money.’ I simply shrugged. Her smile instantly left her face.

‘No money? Well what the hell are ya doin’ here?’ She yelled right into my face. ‘You expectin’ to get a free meal? We don’t work that way ‘round here! Either buy somethin’ or move along.’

‘I can’t buy anything. I’m broke.’ I yelled back. Then I stood up so I could shout down at her. ‘And I’m not planning on getting a free meal from you. I’m not looking for pity! Is it a crime to just sit and relax!’ I wasn’t really angry, but it had been a while since I started a fight with anyone.

‘I oughta throw you outta here myself!’ She cried, stomping her feet.

‘Go ahead and try, miss.’ And I sat back down.

‘Oooh Just you wait! I’m tellin’ the cook ‘bout you! He’ll have you outta here before you even get a chance to ‘ppologize!’ She stormed into the kitchen. I just had to laugh to myself. Here I was trying to keep a low key, and now I’ve just about blown it. I could have left, but I would have been running away. And I never run away from a challenge.

“The rude waitress opened the door to the kitchen, fixing her eyes right on me, and pointed an angry finger. The cook was right after her. He was tall, thin, and a lot younger than I thought he was going to be. I just smiled and waved.

‘Good morning.’ I grinned, as if nothing was wrong. They walked over to me.

‘He doesn’t seem to be causing any trouble,’ The cook smiled at the waitress. She wasn’t convinced.

‘He refuses to pay, Myde!’ She stomped again.

‘He hasn’t ordered anything,’

‘That’s ‘cause he’s a penniless bum!’

‘So let me get this straight.’ He took off his hat. ‘He won’t pay you because he has nothing to pay for?’ The waitress was finally silent. I got a better look at the cook. He had scruffy, curly brown hair. He was pale, and had sea-green eyes. He then turned to me. His eyes grew wide as he looked me up and down. He walked out from behind the counter and looked at me some more.

‘Uh, is there a problem, sir?’ I asked.

‘You!’ He cried, his face exploded in joy.

‘…Me?’

‘You’re the man from last night!’

‘What?’

‘Last night! At the beach! You saved my life!’ Now I knew why he looked familiar. He was the guy I saved. The guy the Heartless attacked. The man who played the beautiful music. And here he was, thanking me. I wanted to thank him, but this wasn’t the time or place to do it.

‘Please, don’t make a scene’ I smiled. ‘Let’s talk in private’ But he wasn’t

listening to me.

‘This man saved my life! Give him anything he orders, on the house!’ Cheers came from all around. I began to regret staying in the restaurant. The dull roar of conversation turned to cheers, and crowds, and I became very uncomfortable.

‘Please!’ I shouted. The people grew quiet. ‘Can we please talk… somewhere else?’ The man nodded, and began to untie his apron.

‘I’m taking off early. Tell the head cook.’ He handed his work clothes to the waitress, and I followed him out the door. Not wasting any time, I began my prosecution.

‘What were you doing at the beach last night?’ I asked him.

‘I could ask you the same question, but that would be quite rude of me,’ he smiled. ‘Who are you?’

‘My name is Braig.’ I grinned, extending my hand. ‘I’m new in town. I actually won’t stay here long. I’m a traveler.’

‘Oh no, you mustn’t leave!’ He begged me. ‘My name is Myde, and I’m forever in your debt. You pulled me from the sea after I had lost my balance. It was only fate that we were to meet last night. Fate that you happened to be at the beach the same time I was.’

‘I really have nowhere to stay.’ I quickly changed the subject. ‘And I have no money for an Inn.’

‘You can stay with me. I have my own apartment.’

‘We’ve only just met. I don’t think we should move in together just yet.’ I joked. He smiled.

‘I really must thank you, though.’ He said in a softer voice. ‘I didn’t mean to make a scene back there. I just got over excited. All morning I had been telling everyone how I was saved by an angel. Haha, so I guess you’re my angel.’ His laugh was unsure and uneasy.

“We had walked for nearly two hours before having a rest. The town was a lot bigger than I thought. We talked about all sorts of things. He told me about his family, and his college days, and I told him about my life before the accident. Of course, I refused to tell anyone about what had happened. Hopefully if I didn’t stay in one place for too long, they wouldn’t notice that I haven’t changed in four months.

‘If you really want to leave, I won’t stop you.’ Myde finally said. ‘I just thought it would be nice to have a friend.’ I thought about all he had said to me, and not once had he mentioned any people aside from his family.

‘You don’t… Have any friends?’ I questioned. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but that was when I realized. I had abandoned my friends. I was alone also. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to stay a little longer.

“He showed me to his apartment. Top floor of a four-storey building. It was very spacious, so having more than just one person living there wouldn’t be a burden. He folded his couch out to make a bed and told me if it was too uncomfortable, he would sleep on the couch, and I’d sleep on the bed. I told him he was being way too generous.

‘Don’t worry about food or anything,’ I smiled. ‘I don’t really eat much.’

‘You know, you should really eat.’ He told me. ‘And being a chef, I can totally make you amazing meals.’

‘No, no that’s all right. Don’t waste your time. I told you, I don’t eat.’ I didn’t tell him I hadn’t eaten in a few months. Probably too awkward.

“It was still the middle of the day. We folded the couch back up and watched TV for a little while. It had been a while since I’d done anything electronic. We didn’t even pay attention to what was flashing on the screen. We were too busy talking about everything we could think of. By this point, I thought that if I told him what had happened to me, he wouldn’t believe me. And that was fine with me. The less he believed, the better.

“I started out the same way I started telling you. And as far as I knew, he didn’t believe me. But that was okay. At least I threw it out there.

‘So tell me… Why was it you were out on a cliff at the beach playing music?’ I finally asked him. I wanted an answer. I wanted to know why the Heartless were after him.

‘I do that every night,’ He smiled. ‘It just helps me escape the realities of life. You heard me?’

‘I did. I heard it across town. I was drawn to the melody. It pretty much attracted me to the beach. Then I saw you fall.’

‘That’s pretty amazing that you saved me. I think I’d be too much of a coward to save anyone.’

‘I didn’t even think about it. The music stopped and you were drowning.’

‘But why did you run away?’ That was a question I was not hoping to be asked. ‘You said you were nobody. But you’re definitely a somebody to me!’

‘Like I told you. I don’t exist.’

‘Just a figment of my imagination, eh?’ We both shared a laugh. Just like with the music he played, I felt whole. I felt at peace. This guy made me feel all sorts of feelings I wasn’t supposed to feel. I didn’t like it at first, but I learned to deal with it.

“Over the next few months, we became close friends. Closer than I think I had ever been with any of my colleagues. We built up each other’s trust, and then we were like inseparable brothers. Wherever he went, I was close behind, and vice versa. I soon got a job at the restaurant, in the kitchen, to earn a little spending money for myself. Every day, I felt like I was closer to him. I hadn’t a care in the world when I was around him, and when we were apart, I felt sad.

“The winter came, and wasn’t it just our luck that the heat in his apartment had broke. We were having a small party with some friends from work when it decided to blow. After about an hour without heat, it became very frigid, and our guests had left. We then decided to take a walk down to the small electric company to see what they could do. We bundled up, and headed out. Wouldn’t you know it was the first snow of the season that night. We decided the heat could wait, and walked to a small park instead. We found a bench, and sat together, shivering. We watched the snow come down softly onto the frozen dirt. It was one of many moments I really enjoyed with Myde.

‘Wow, it’s really chilly out here,’ Myde noted, tapping my shoulder.

‘Well, it is snowing.’ I smiled.

‘It’s so beautiful out here.’

‘Yeah…’

‘I’m glad I can share this moment with you, Braig.’ I turned my head to look at him. Even in the brisk cold, he was blushing.

‘Yeah… M-me, too.’ I tried to smile, but the cold was starting to get to me. I quickly rubbed my arms, trying to wait it out. I didn’t want it to end. I then noticed Myde unzipping his jacket.

‘W-what are you d-doing? It’s f-freezing out h-h-here.’ I scolded him. ‘P-put your jacket b-back on.’ But he had already taken it completely off.

‘You’re more cold than I am,’ He said sweetly. ‘Here.’ He draped his jacket around my shoulders, and zipped it up.

‘But-’

‘I don’t want you to get sick.’ He just smiled, ‘Stay here. I’ll go to the heating place, and I’ll come back for you.’ I opened my mouth to protest, but no words came out. As soon as I was about to speak, he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. ‘Try to warm up while I’m gone,’ He then whispered in my ear. I said nothing as he walked off into the white fog.

“I sat there, silent, still, for a long time. I watched the snow fall, and all I could think about was Myde. I thought I was going mad. He was like a brother to me. He took me in when no one else cared, and I had saved him from the sea. We owed each other a lot.

“Some time passed, who knows how long. I was getting covered in white. My face then grew warm as I watched his frame break through the fog. I felt my eyes light up, and I stood. I was covered in snow, and my legs were locked in.

‘Any luck?’ I asked, immediately trying to rid my mind of thoughts of him.

‘They said they won’t be able to get to our building until tomorrow afternoon. Look’s like we’re sleeping in the cold.’ I nodded, then stepped toward him. I slid off his jacket from my shoulders, and placed it around him, closing it tight. I then pulled him close, grasping him in a snowy embrace. He was shivering.

‘Wha-’

‘You’re frozen!’ I gasped. ‘We must get back to the apartment.’

‘It’s probably colder in there!’ he argued. I let him go, and pointed in the direction back to town. He took my hand, and we walked back into the storm. By the time we reached our destination, we were both shivering, clinging to each other, looking for warmth in the other’s arms.

“When we reached the door, it was, no doubt, frozen shut. Myde fiddled with his keys, half shaking, half searching. When he finally found the right one, it slipped from his hands, falling deep within the frosty ice. I had gloves on, so I dug through the snow for the keys. We finally opened the door, and ran up the stairs to our apartment.

“The door creaked open, breaking what ice had been stuck to it. It was indeed colder inside, than out, but hopefully, the heat would come back well before the next day. At least, we hoped so.

‘All this cold is making me mighty tired,’ Myde sighed, slipping off his jacket.

‘I hear ya,’ I replied, taking a seat on the couch-bed. As soon as I sat, I shot back up. The metal bars holding the bed, and the springs weren’t much warmer than the rest of us.

‘That’s… A lot colder than I th-thought it would be!’ I grabbed my backside.

‘You can sleep in my b-bed if you want.’ Myde said, teeth chattering.

‘Where are you gonna sleep?’

‘It’s a big bed. We can share it.’

--three hours later---

“So there we were, just the two of us, freezing our asses off, sleeping in the same bed. I was too timid to say anything that wouldn’t come out as awkward. I couldn’t sleep. I just had thoughts and images racing through my mind, things I did NOT want to think about. But I did, and it made me feel uncomfortable. Finally, I sat up, and looked over to Myde who was indeed fast asleep. A few minutes went by, and I found myself just gazing at my sleeping brother. He looked so peaceful, so beautiful. These thoughts instantly brought more unwanted images.

‘I’m not sleeping,’ I heard a groggy voice mumble. I froze. ‘Yes, I’m talking to you, Braig.’ Myde said, turning over to face me. ‘What’s on your mind?’ I said, ‘nothing’, then lay back down.

‘Obviously there’s something bothering you...’

‘No, I’m fine. I just.. Can’t sleep.’

‘Me neither, actually. I have a lot on my mind.’

‘Oh? Like what?’

‘Actually, I’m glad you asked.’ He sat up, and faced me. His eyes made me sad. He seemed upset.

‘What’s the matter, Myde?’

‘I just... Can I ask you something?’

‘Sure. You can ask me anything.’

‘I just- I just don’t want you to think of my differently.’

‘Myde! How can you even say that? No matter what you say, I’ll never feel any different toward you. Even if you told me that you’re an insane serial killer who kills guys with long black hair, and I was your next victim, I still would look at you and see my brother.’ He didn’t seem convinced. ‘Of course, I hope you realize, I would have to move out. No offense.’ And then he cracked a smile.

‘Well... Okay. I need your advice.’

‘I don’t know what kind of insight I can give, but I’ll try.’

‘Well... Have you ever been in love?’

‘More times than I can count, man.’

‘No, no. I mean in love. Passionate love that you can’t deny any longer. The meer sight of this person makes your heart skip a beat. You long to be with them for the rest of your miserable life. True love.’ Sadly, I shook my head.

‘...No.’

‘Then I don’t see how you can help me... I feel like I’m falling apart. I feel such a strong want, a need for ... this person. I can’t stand it any longer. I love them, but they don’t love me back...’

‘How do you know? Have you told them?’

‘No, never! I... I’ve tried flirting. Simple stuff, you know. Hugs, play fights, I even kissed them, but I received no reaction.’

‘Maybe they’re unsure of how to react. Maybe they don’t know how they feel about you. Or maybe they love you back, but don’t know how to express themselves.’

‘But... I-’

‘If you want someone to know how you feel you either tell them or show them. Stand up, and take charge! You’re an amazing guy, and there’s no way you’ll get turned away! Take affirmative action, and really show them how far you love goes!’ He stared at me long and hard. I was definitely getting through to him. I found myself yelling in his face, but he didn’t respond. Just stared wide-eyed back at me. ‘Be spontaneous! Do something that will shock them so bad that they’ll have no choice but to return this love you have! Don’t be extreme but do what you think is right! Go for-!’ A quick hand on my shoulder, a quicker one hooking onto my neck. Next thing I knew, Myde’s soft, hot lips against my own. Seconds later, catching on to what was happening, I returned the kiss, and held on to him just as tight. A long passionate kiss. We finally broke away, much to my disappointment.

‘I’m sorry...’ Myde whispered, catching his breath.

‘Don’t... Apologize.’ I said back, pulling him back into my arms. ‘I’ve been having weird feelings lately. Feelings for you. And honestly, I don’t think I could have broken the ice any other way, no pun intended.’ We both laughed softly, and shivered some more. We both lay back in the bed, and holding him close, I stole another kiss. I combed his curled hair with my fingers, as his arms wrapped around my shoulders.

“Eh, I’m probably boring you with all this sex talk. I’ll stop there, and continue on.

“Another year went by. We had discovered our love, and chose to embrace it. We continued to live together, and not once did we spend a night apart. I had never known a love like this before. But then again, I wasn’t entirely sure I was being true to myself. Could I really feel love? One day, it hit me. I had forgotten everything. Everything that happened to me before I met Myde. My life before. The accident. My heart. It all rushed at me so fast, and so hard. I became incredibly depressed. The days went slower, and even Myde’s company didn’t satisfy my sadness. But then I realized. I wasn’t really sad, and I wasn’t really in love. Being a man without a heart, I’m not able to feel.

“I had told Myde this, but of course, he thought it was a joke. That is, until the last day that I saw him.”

Silence. Xigbar had stopped. I was so eager to know more, to know what had happened, but he was silent. I could see his eyes growing moist.

“You don’t have to continue,” I said, rubbing his back Of course, that was a bold-face lie. I needed to hear how this ended.

“No, it’s all right. Besides,” he said, finally looking me in the eyes. “I think you need to hear this.” He took one last deep breath, and finished his tale.

“It started otu like every other day. Isn’t that the way these stories always go? Things were normal. I woke up to a beautiful summer day. The sun was brightly shining through the bedside window. I rolled over to grant Myde a good morning kiss, but he wasn’t there. I sat up, and searched the room. I then jumped out of bed, and left the room, searching for him. He wasn’t here. No note, no nothing. Where the hell had he gone? I threw pants on, pulled my hair back into a pony tail, then went outside. Boy was I surprised.

“Heavy smoke clogged the skies. Houses burned in orange flames. People everywhere, screaming, running, on fire, and dying. I was astonished by these sights, and I instantly thought of Myde. Where was he during all of this!?

“Then I saw them. Through the smoke, and the fire. Two figures in our trademark hooded trench coats. Of course, at the time, I had no idea about the coats, or who they were. I had no knowledge of Xemnas, and the others. They were the last thing on my mind. They walked toward me, probably noticing I was the only one undamaged.

‘YOU!’ I roared, pointing at them. I knew they had done this. ‘You are responsible for this! How dare you destroy our home! Who are you?!’

‘We are nothings,’ the first one said.

‘Nobodies.’ The second one responded. They pulled down their hoods. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was Saïx, and Axel who had invaded.

‘We’re looking for a being with a pure heart, full of light, and strength.’ said Saïx.

‘You’ve come to the wrong place, my friends. Most have cold, darkend hearts here. And me? I don’t have a heart, so just move along, or I’ll be forced to kill you.’ I hadn’t fought in years, but hey, what’s a good threat now and then?

“It’s a shame, it didn’t phase them. They whispered to each other, then Axel left, leaving me to face the dangerous one. I grabbed the first thing I could, a long pole, and made the first attack. Saïx was quick to dodge, summoning his large, blue claymore. He was definitely getting the better of me, and it didn’t help that I was unprotected. I then heard a familiar voice shouting my name in terror.

‘BRAIG!’ It was Myde! I looked over to see he was cornered by Axel. The anger grew within me, and for the first time in nearly three years, I summoned my guns. As the guns formed in my hands, Saïx’s eyes widened., and he called to Axel.

‘Axel!’ he hissed. ‘It’s the Freeshoter!’ Axel turned to him, his eyes screaming surprise.

‘The freeshooter?! He’s here?! NO WAY!’

‘The Superior will be quite pleased with our discovery.’

‘Everyone just SHUT UP!’ I yelled. ‘You invade our home, kill our friends, burn our homes down, and I won’t let you live long enough to regret it!’ I rushed forward at him, remembering my strength and the power I had discovered. With amazing speed, he still dodged me, and the real fight began. Like I said, I hadn’t fought in years, and I wasn’t very good. He bested me many times...” Xigbar began to unzip his coat. I was utterly shocked to see all the scratches and scars across his body.

“Those are...”

“From that fight.” He answered me. “Saïx is a brutal fighter, and when he fights, he aims to kill. My madness blinded me, and I was unable to figure that out for myself. Then, when he realized that damaging my body wasn’t stopping me, he went for my face. He dropped his claymore, and his nails, ripping through his black gloves, clawed at me. I tripped over my feet, and fell hard to the ground, in a puddle of my own blood. Saïx jumped on top of me, clawing at my neck, my chest, and my face. I only have a few scars on my face, one obviously being this obnoxiously long cut along my left cheek. The others are small, because it wasn’t so much a scratch, than a stab. Focusing all his strength into his hand, it stiffened, and his hand became like a knife, headed straight for my head. Unfortunately, I was unable to dodge. I managed to shift my head to one side, but his claws dug deep into my right eye. I instantly lost sight in it, obviously. I was down, and tired, and accepting my defeat. I looked over through the blood to see Axel grinning big, and Myde shaking with fear. I wanted to cry out to him, I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but I couldn’t speak. I had a very angry monster crushing my lungs, and blood clogging my throat. Then the last thing I saw was Myde, glowing, and I witnessed the same heart-releasing ceremony once more.

“The next thing I remember is waking up to see Xemnas standing over me. I was bandaged up, and my head killed. We sat and talked, catching up on what I had missed those long years. Xemnas informed me of his research, his experiments, and the seventh and eighth members. But then, he mentioned a ninth. I looked to the bed next to me and there you were, Demyx. I immediately recognized you, but you didn’t know me. I don’t know if you remember that. ” I shook my head. “I vowed to myself that I would make you remember me, and remember who you were, but, I don’t think even telling you all this is going to make you remember your True self. That’s all I have to say.”

I was truly astonished. It brought me to tears. What could I say? Nothing. No words could describe what I felt. I looked at him for a long time. His head collapsed into his hands, and be sobbed silently at his memories. I inched close to him, pulling him into a supporting embrace. I comforted him the best I could. I now knew it all. I knew why he was coming between Axel and I. I knew why he’d done what he had done, and I wanted to thank him, but I still couldn’t speak. We sat there, alone, clinging to each other. It was then, I heard footsteps walking past the common room. I looked up to see Roxas bobbing along, down the stairs, and then I heard a door slam. Xigbar instantly sat up, and dried his eyes on his sleeve.

“Wanna go spy on him?” he quickly suggested. Some things never change.

“Oh, hell yes. You bet!” I grinned. We stood up, and silently chased after the blonde teen.

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