Chapter 1 - Kaidala? Zoro? NANI?!

Chapter One: Kaidala? Zoro?…. NANI?! 
It is another ‘normal’ day on the pirate ship, Sanji is fawning over Nami and Robin like usual, whilst Chopa and Usopp amuses themselves by torturing their newly found, pet sea turdle (that’s right, turdle not turtle. A much more vicious form of a turtle that’s spelt differently). Zoro sleeps in the crow’s nest whilst Luffy hunts for something amusing to do. Luffy looks up at the crow’s nest and seeing Zoro’s bright green marimo head poking up over the side he stretches his arms and lands with a rather loud crash next to him, Zoro frowns and resists the temptation to get up and bash his captains head to bloody oblivion. “ZOOORROOO~! Wake up damn you! I’m bored! The author isn’t paying you to sleep all the time!” Luffy whined in his usual childish voice, Zoro ignores him pretending to be asleep and failing seeing as he’s such a crap actor the author doesn’t pay me anyway… he thought to himself so it doesn’t really matter what I do… Luffy now growing impatient glares at Zoro for ignoring him, then after several hours of plotting he finally comes up with a plan, meanwhile while he was doing this Usopp has gotten the sea turdle attached to his abnormally long nose and runs around the deck in pain trying to get it off. Luffy creeps up behind Zoro who is STILL sleeping, a smug evil look over Luffy’s face, Zoro stirs in his sleep oblivious to his captain sneaking up behind him “HEY! MARIMO! KUINA’S HERE!” Luffy bellowed, and thus which losing his voice completely “huh?… Kuina- AHHHH! shoot” Zoro exclaimed as he fell from the crow’s nest, crash landing on the deck below and absolutely flattening Usopp, meanwhile Chopa almost cacks himself laughing and Sanji looking very pissed starts shouting at the now hoarse Luffy “HEY! IDIOT! DO YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND YOU COULD BE QUITE?” Luffy lands down next to them looking resentful, he then attempts to speak, but it seems he is only mouthing the words because no sound is coming out. Sanji looks confused – his undeveloped brain can’t handle more than one thing at once – “… I don’t believe it… Luffy’s lost his voice!” Nami said sounding rather excited “we’ll have peace and quite for awhile!” she added Luffy glaring at her. A dark figure of a female appeared out of the shadows standing next to Zoro “geez… your crew is even more spastic than you described … Zoro” she said grinning and stepping out into the light, her jet black her falling loosely over her shoulders and her piercing red eyes eyeing Zoro with the slightest sense of mockery, Zoro looking a little surprised turned to face her “Kaidala? What are you doing here?” he asked, the rest of the crew looking puzzled in the background “what do you think idiot? You did ask me to visit didn’t you?” she answered “oh yeh…” Zoro said looking a little embarrassed “I guess I did, I didn’t expect you too come so quickly though… anyway it’s been awhile… what is it now? 3 years? And you haven’t change one bit” he added “neither have you” the woman answered “you still sleep 24/7 AND your still a stuck up bastard” she laughed slightly to herself Zoro glaring a little, he then god forbid it hugged her gently. Everyone else except the new woman looking completely dumb founded “WHAT THE HELL!” Sanji shouted, sounding either very pissed or very jealous “ZORO HAS A GIRL FRIEND!” “huh?” Zoro said “…. you know love cook, it would be illegal in most countries for me and Kaidala to have that sort of a relationship” he added referring to the new girl as Kaidala, “well then who is she?” Sanji said looking at the two of them with suspicion “oh… nothing really, she’s only my sister” Zoro said as if it was nothing, whilst the rest of the crew almost died.
 
A few hours later in the kitchen… “NANI!” Luffy exclaimed having now gotten his voice back and only just realizing who the girl was “ZORO HAS A SISTER!?” “gee your slow…” Kaidala said sighing, Sanji cooks at the stove after having gotten severely beaten up by Kaidala for trying to flirt with her – he’ll know never to do that again, though I doubt that’ll stop him – everyone else sits at the table, Luffy whining about dinner and other food related things to Sanji “you know, I can really see the resemblance between you two” Sanji said, a sly smile coming over his face “hmm….? You can? So your not completely oblivious to your surroundings then?” Kaidala said “YES, I can… for one your both stuck up bastards” Sanji said grinning slightly, his smile quickly vanishing as Kaidala’s hand came flying towards him and punching him in the face. “oww….” Sanji whined glaring at her but was interrupted by Zoro “so, what are you doing here anyway? As I said, I didn’t expect to see you this soon…” Kaidala turned to face Zoro and answered his question “well, I heard about what happened to Saga and how you joined a pirate crew, something you failed to mention in your letters” she said with the slightest sense of annoyance in her voice Zoro looking embarrassed by her tone “so, I’ve been having the usual numerous dealings with the authorities and the marines… they started to increase over the past year so I left the village with a new contract out around here” she said “hey wait, what kind of contract?” Usopp questioned her “oh just assassination… nothing major” she said waving her hand dismissively, meanwhile in the background Luffy is glaring at Sanji who hit him over the head with a massive frying pan for trying to steal the food. “WHAT~!  ASSASSINATION! YOU’RE AN ASSASSIN!” Usopp yelled, before Sanji interrupted him “shut up idiot, now … is it just me or do all assassins seem to be beautiful sexy females?” he said pondering to himself before being punched in the face again by Kaidala. There was another one of those long silences, which Luffy broke surprisingly by something remotely intelligent “so, will you stay with our crew until you find your murder victim? Please? Oh and by the way who are you going to kill?” Kaidala responded by saying “yep I guess I will, I’ve got no where better to go… something I think I’ll regret. And whom I’m assassinating? Oh it’s no-one important… someone I bet you’ve heard of, he’s been giving all of us all little too much trouble lately… I trust your aware of who Captain Smoker is, no?” “Yeh… that male, porn freak, of a humanoid. We know who he is… though I wouldn’t suggest going after him alone, no matter how much more stealthy you have become you’ll still be in great danger just by entering the marine’s base” Zoro said in a stern more serious voice.

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