Chapter 1 - COOK-JUTSU! SHWA~

Chapter one! WHOO! Pretty much, a bunch of characters from anything from Anime to Indiana Jones o.O have fun! ^ ^)











Sanji was busily cooking away, slicing up onions, tomatoes, and tossing them nonchalantly into an extremely hot iron saucepan. He was whistling a sort of tune to himself, trying to lighten his lonely moment with a song to aid him in his imagination. "Now... what else..." he muttered to himself, tossing his cigarette into the sink since it had burnt down to a stub. "I have..."
"Issues." Zoro waltzed in, uninvited, and drew his favored katana. You better hurry up or I'm going to starve.
Won't be my fault...Sanji thought, ignoring Zoro and continuing to busily chop onions and other vegetables of the sort.
Another guest walked in; this time the Captain Himself, clasping his straw hat about his head. Hey Cook! Im starving! Luffy bounded over to the cook, sniffing in the wonderful aromas of the sizzling vegetables& Wait& he sniffed again, this time sticking his head inside of the giant saucepan. WHERES THE MEAT?!?!?!?!





You ate it all, Sanji sneered harshly, and when Luffy finally took his head out of the pan he gave Sanji a perplexed look.





Nani?





You ate it all so Im making a vegetarian meal&





Curly brows, thats not really a good idea& cuz when Luffy doesnt get meat he kind of& well& never mind. Id just run out of here screaming at the top of my lungs if I were you. But Im not. So you can stay here with your veggies and get eaten.





You mean& get my veggies eaten?





&No. I mean, you get eaten.





Sanji gulped. He was about to turn around and ask Zoro another question, but the swordsman had already leaped out of the doorway yelling; Watch out everybody! Jump ship! Were all out of meat!





The cook blinked. & Luffy? What does&he& GAH!





Give& me& meat& Luffy growled. His eyes had started to glow a dangerous red; a red deeper than his vest color, and he started to grow. It was no sooner that Sanji lit another cigarette, when Luffy had transformed into a large, bright blue monster.





&I dont think thats normal, Sanji whispered, and after crying, Look over there! A giant BANANAGATOR PIE! He leaped out of the hatch and locked it shut with eight dozen padlocks. Nobody else was on deck& except a young man with silver-ish hair sitting on the railing of the boat. Sanji peered over, startled, and then tiptoed quietly over to the young man. & Hi?





Nani? Oh. Hi.





Who are you?





& My name, you mean?





Sanji nodded. &Thats usually what Who are you means.





Oh. Right. Im InuYasha.





&Oh. Okay. Exactly, what are you doing on this ship?





Im waiting for Kagome. She-





Suddenly a horrifying clawing noise shook the small ship, throwing InuYasha overboard and sending Sanji to the floorboards. Darn it Luffy& The young cook whispered, rolling up his sleeves to march down and teach Luffy a lesson; but then in remembering that Luffy was a horrible monster he thought otherwise. Where are the others, anyway? He asked himself.





Whos others? A strong-looking also silver-haired man entered from the tangerine garden, and in seeing this intrusion, Sanji was not happy.





Get out of Nami-Sans garden!





Shoosh, The man growled. He leaped quickly from the garden, more in annoyance than anything else. He strode casually over to Sanji, eying him suspiciously. What level of Ninja are you?





Sanji scoffed. Im not a ninja, Im a chef.





& You mean you cook&





Yeah.





& Oh. How do I get out of here?





I dont even know how you got in here.





& Me neither.





Sanji rolled down his sleeves. You dont seem like you mean any harm-





The man smiled coolly, even though most of his face was covered by a dark blue mask. Not unless you mean harm.





I sure dont.





There was a long pause as the new man leaned on the railing and peered out towards the open ocean. Wonderful.





I guess, Sanji sighed, not joining the man in the leisurely gesture but instead shoving his hands into his pockets. He lit another cigarette, drawing in the dangerous breaths and exhaling the smoke out into the salty air. Im used to it. Ive been here so long it doesnt even seem that great.





The man stood up straight. So& you dont have any means of escape from here?





& We dont. Sorry. You could just swim to shore.





I wouldnt like that very much.





Of course you wouldnt, Sanji added sarcastically, tapping the cigarette over the railing to rid the smoldering ashes on its tip.





The man, trying to be kind (even though it seemed Sanji didnt), asked the cooks name.





Sanji, The cook mumbled.





I am honored to meet you, Sanji.





Wish I could say the same&





What?!





I said: I wonder whats your name?





& Kakashi. You can call me Kakashi.





Sanji nodded out to sea. Right& is Kakashi your real name?





Yeah.





Good. I wouldnt be too happy if- wait. Hey! Who are you! Get out here! Sanji had seen, out of the corner of his eye, someone also hiding in the tangerine garden. It was a girl, with right pink hair; and she was being followed by two boys: one with blonde hair, and one with black hair.





It seemed they had no intention of appearing here, for they looked around nervously. Kakashi-Sensei! The girl squealed, and in pure relief she bounded over to the silver-haired man. Kakashi-Sensei! What are you doing here?





Im not quite sure, Sakura; and neither does this cook. He pointed over to Sanji, who was still lost in the situation.





(Note: Of course, Sakura is a girl. But since she is not extremely close to Sanjis age, Sanji would not fall deeply in love with her. Hed just be nice.) Hi, Sanji smiled, not extremely engrossed in the girl but trying to be kind. Whats your name?





Im Sakura, The girl answered, also smiling; returning Sanjis kind gesture with a slight wave of her hand. And who are you?





My name is Sanji, Sanji stated, still smiling at the girl. Sakura noticed he was extremely handsome, but did not act like a rabid fangirl; unlike& I would. ^_^





Meanwhile, the two other boys were busy surveying the area. The blonde-haired boy was poking the not-quite-ripe tangerines, asking the other boy pointless questions like, Why is your hair black? and, Ha! Dont you think you look like the UPS guy since youre wearing those funny shorts?





&No, The black-haired boy answered, feeling the tips of the tangerine bush leaves with his thumb and forefinger.





The blonde-haired boy smiled, obviously amused at the situation; and wiped his hands on his orange pants. Hey, Sasuke! Kakashi-Sensei is over there by a weird tall guy! The blonde boy pointed out, grabbing the other (whose name is Sasuke, I guess&) by his sleeve and dragging him over to the others. Hi!





& Hey, Naruto, Kakashi greeted, casually; still staring out into the vast ocean.





Sasuke was less than amused at this time and place he was in; and as he brushed himself off he glared ferociously at Sanji. What?!?! Sanji asked, feeling quite uncomfortable at this quiet, conceited boy. Whatd I do?





Nothing, Sasuke growled. Sanji was less than convinced.





Is this your girlfriend?





No.





& Okay. Now I suggest you shut your yap before I-





You might want to be careful&





Why?!





We possess more power than you could imagine.





?!?!





Your chakra is the lowest I have ever encountered&





&Chakra. Hey- Kakashi, is this kid mental?





Kakashi shook his head. No, but you better keep clear of him. Itd be best not to make any of us angry.





Why?





If you do, youll find out. I alone can give you One Thousand Years of Pain.





& Yeah. Sure. Ill keep clear.











Long Pause / Ten minutes later











Whatcha reading there?





Kakashi eyed Sanji with surprised eyes. Icha Icha.





Sanjis tight frown blossomed into a wide smile, and he began to read over Kakashis shoulder. Where can I get me one of these? Sanji asked, engrossed in the book and enjoying every word and picture.





& A store, usually.





What kind of store?





A book store, or a private vendor.





Ah&





Sanji and Kakashi had seemed to be forming a loose friendship, both of them enjoying the book but staying completely silent. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were sitting on the deck also remaining silent, until Narutos restlessness consumed him and he had to stand up. This is boring! He yelled, startling the two men and making Sakura squeal slightly from surprise. When do we get to the fun part?!?!





Fun part of what? Sanji asked, still immersed in Icha Icha but not very happy with the disturbance from the boy.





I dont know! Just when can we do something?!?!





Sanji turned around with narrowed eyes. You could go swimming.





Wow! Really?!





Sure. Just come over here and& Sanji ushered Naruto over to the railing, and after telling Naruto that there was a magic fish swimming underwater, he kicked the boy overboard. Go swimming.





AGH! COLD! COLD! Naruto screamed, leaping from the water and almost magically bounding up the side of the boat and back onto the deck. He shivered, being not too happy about his only clothes being soaked with freezing, salty water. Did I say he wasnt happy? Yup, I was right. He wasnt happy at all; he was actually finding this predicament extremely amusing. Hah! That was funny! He chuckled wildly, sitting down once more and enjoying the sunshine. Sanji was getting pretty annoyed at this boy, while Kakashi shrugged. The other two children just ignored Naruto like they usually did when he felt like being himself for a brief moment.





Sanji once again began to read the book, joining Kakashi in casual wows and widened eyes.





After a few more moments of reading, Sanjis ears caught the faintest scritch-scratching sound below deck. At first he was curious; but again, remembering Luffy was a horrid monster, he was hesitant. But after realizing he would have to fix it sooner or later, Sanji slowly undid the padlocks and carefully opened the hatch. HI SANJI! Luffy squealed, sending the cook flying backwards and the four ninjas to their feet.





One Thousand Years of Pa- Kakashi began, but when he saw Luffys dumb expression on his face he felt sorry for the boy, put down his hands, and continued reading.





Naruto eyed Luffy suspiciously; sizing him up and down; and finally pointed to himself with his thumb. I am Uzumaki Naruto, the best ninja in the universe!





Wow! Cool! Im going to be the Pirate King!





AWESOME! THE PIRATE KING?!?!?!





It seemed Naruto had made a new friend and Luffy as well. They started screaming Awesomes and Sweets to each other, and it seemed they would have never stopped; unless Sanji had kicked Luffy upside the head. And he did. Oi, Luffy! Can it! Sanji shouted, smacking Luffy over and over until Naruto just had to stop it.





STOP! Naruto screeched, and his voice seemed to reach deep inside of Sanji and rip out his intentions of hurting Luffy.





Sanji put his foot down (NOT a figure of speech) back onto the deck and closed his eyes, regaining his composure and lighting another cigarette. Settle down, kid, he commanded, once again inhaling and exhaling the tobacco smoke in a graceful manner. I didnt mean much harm.





Of course you didnt, Kakashi muttered, flipping a page of his book and gasping suddenly at a surprise.





Sanji (noticing Kakashis wondrous look) ran over, asking over and over What is it? What is it? What happened?





Oh nothing, Kakashi assured. He red faster and faster, his only visible eye memorizing every word and opening wide.





Tell me tell me!





Its nothing, really, Kakashi whispered. OH GAWSH!





TELL ME WHATS HAPPENING!





Like I said, Kakashi beamed, turning his head to look at Sanji but keeping the book close to his chest, Nothing.





Sanjis brain short-circuited. He cringed. Finally, after his intrusion, he stamped his cigarette onto the deck, hopped up onto the railing, and jumped overboard. -_- Just like Sanji.





Well that was strange, Kakashi murmured, flipping another page and totally ignoring what had just happened.





Naruto and Sakura leaned over the railing, being careful not to fall off; and noticed Sanji swimming to a beach nearby. Did he go crazy just because of the book? Sakura wondered. Maybe- WHAT THE?!?! She, in focusing her eyesight, discovered the beach was inhabited by Amazonian Goddesses. They were all very beautiful; their hair flowing gently over their shoulders and wrapping around their silk-clothing-covered bodies. He jumped ship for a bunch of rabid women?!?!?





What a pervert! Naruto shouted, about to also jump ship for no reason; but when he saw Sasukes evil glare he smiled solemnly. I think Ill stay here with you guys and keep you company!





Keep who company& A man whispered.





Naruto turned to his left, startled to see a large, strange-looking man. Who are you? He asked, eyeing the mans unkempt black hair and tattered red cape. AND HOWD YOU STINKIN GET HERE?





Im not quite sure& the man said, just above a whisper. His voice was so deep it was very difficult to determine what he was actually saying. (Ill do my best.) Wait- The man glared at Kakashi; mostly at the Senseis silver hair. You better not be in league with Sephiroth or Kadaj.





&Whos Sephiroth? Sakura inquired.





Dont play dumb. You children may not know who he is; or you may be under Kadajs spell. But this man, I am certain; is partnered with Sephiroth.





Kakashi closed the book with his right hand, stuffing it in its rightful place and standing straight. He frowned, obviously trying to intimidate this guest. And who might you be?





Me& my name? Hmph. My name is-

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