Chapter 1 - 101 Ways To Know If You're Addicted to Neopets

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You are reading this article.
Someone asks you if they can borrow a paint brush in art class and you yell n00b!
If you want to be someones friend, you try to send them a Neofriend request.
You say Neomail instead of E-Mail.
You write an article about being addicted to Neopets.
You go to a pet store and tell them that selling pets is against the rules.
You go to a zoo and ask where the Kougras and Hissies are.
You draw a picture of your cat and try to put it in a pet show.
You call money Neopoints.
You go up to a tree asking for free items.
You go to the desert looking for the Fruit Machine and Coltzans Shrine.
You advertise your shop or guild on your schools bulletin board or on your locker.
You name your pet dog or cat Slinky2867146 because you think all the names are taken.
You see a pack of wolves and say OH MY GOSH GRAY LUPES!!!
You attempt to paint your cat/dog with a paint brush.
You cry when it doesnt work.
You painted your room based on the color scheme of a faerie Kougra.
You spell fairy faerie, gray grey, color colour, etc.
If you meet someone you hate you try to block them.
You try to make pizza out of gruel.
When someone says LOOK OUT, THERES TNT! You say, Where? I dont see Adam!!!!
All of your school supplies has Neopets on it.
You apply for a job at a factory thinking it is Freaky Factory.
You see a scary forest and shout OH NO RIGGED GAMES!!!
You take some bread to a volcano and wonder where your avatar is.
When you wake up in the morning you attempt to log in to the World.
You say Poogle instead of Poodle.
You are afraid to eat asparagus.
In art class the only thing you draw is Neopets.
Youve had an account on Neopets since the day it opened.
You see someone painting their house and tell them youll give them 1.2 Million Neopoints for the paint brush.
You only make friends with someone if they go on Neopets.
If someone does something inappropriate you yell REPORTED.
You think that every place has moderators watching it.
You think your swimming pool is the rainbow pool.
You go to a fountain looking for the Fountain Faerie.
You are still reading this.
You never leave your computer.
When its your birthday you expect your locker to change (Like a Neopets sidebar).
When you see a bottle on the ground you wonder where the faerie went.
When you win a contest you ask where your World Challenge piece is.
You see a kid with a doll and shout LET ILLUSEN GO!
You run around with a sword claming to be Jeran.
Whenever you see a farm you say Look at all the Kaus, Unis, and Babaas!
You call school Neoschool.
You call thieves hackers.
When your brother/sister is born, you ask your parents why they didnt paint you baby.
You can name every Neopet off the top of your head.
You are scared that regular peas are Super Attack Peas.
You see a pine tree and say, Wow, thats a BIG Fir!
You catch a fish and say I got a free petpet!
You pick up a rock and think it is a petpet.
You call Griffins Eyries.
You call dragons Draiks.
You are STILL reading this.
You talk about Neopets more than you breathe.
You try to get a Mote out of your fireplace.
You have all the Neopets mp3s on your iPod.
You get an article you wrote into the newspaper and ask where your trophy is.
You call soda Neocola or Achyfi.
You go to a store and wait 8 minutes for it to restock.
You say plushie instead of stuffed animals.
You call the moon Kruledor.
You are afraid that Dr. Sloth and his grundos are going to invade.
When you go to get a soda out of a vending machine, you use Neocola Tokens.
For Halloween you dress up as a Werelupe.
You wish you were 18 so you could work at Neopets (if you are 18, you apply to work at Neopets).
You go to a fancy restaurant thinking its Kelp.
You wonder why restaurants arent telling you to leave when you dont have any dubloons.
You see a bag of flour and are scared it is Chia Flour.
If someone starts fighting at school, you tell them to save it for the battledome.
When playing dodge ball, you think it is snow wars.
If you meet someone named Adam you ask them for paintbrushes because you think they own Neopets.
Your birthday party has been Neopets themed since you were born.
You buy concert tickets thinking you are going to go see Yes Boy Ice Cream.
You try to buy stuff in real life with Neopoints.
Whenever you pass notes you format them like the chat boards.
You understand all of these reasons.
You call your gym coach Capn Threelegs.
You call your science teacher Kauvara.
You think everyone is a Neopet.
You use neopet smilies like :) and X3 and XD in school papers.
You cry when they give you an F.
Your only friends are your neopets buddies.
You say LOL instead of laughing.
You plan to share this page with all of your friends.
You try to talk in chatspeak.
You succeed in doing so.
Everyone calls you the person whos obsessed with Neopets
You are proud of that title.
You fail all of your classes because you spend too much time on Neopets.
You ask people to call you Yourname2423546 because you believe that that is your real name.
On your friends birthday, you give them a present box, wrapping paper, and a gift all separate because you think that you cannot combine items.
You call the flea market the Trading Post.
You are afraid of Chia Clowns.
You call elephants Elephantes.
You wonder why everyone thinks you are weird when you spell elephant that way.
All of these reasons are true for you.
You dont try to deny it.
You read this whole thing.
You want me to write more reasons.

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