Chapter 6 - Fade into Nothing

Author's note: I figured with the way this chapter is, I would need to say it up here. This Chapter may be a bit depressing/whatever you want to call it. Not exactly Angst but it's not happy either until the end. Just thought I would give a warning. I'm gonna be color coding in some places to make it easier to figure out who's talking. Green is Shizune. Blue is Yuri. Normal color is Shukumei. Finally, Dark blue for the Hollow.

There are people calling out my name… It’s faint, but I know it’s there. Who’s calling me?

“Lady Yuri, you must come to your senses! Break free!”

That voice calling out... It sounds familiar... Who is it? They sound so worried… Why?

“If she doesn’t regain control soon, she will die.”

..Die? Perhaps it’s best that I do… No one will be hurt anymore if I do..

“Say goodbye…SHINGAIMI!”

-A month before-

It was like any other day. Finish reports, go out on missions, come back, and enjoy the rest of the day with Shizune. It was the life that Yuri had grown accustomed to. All seemed well. Others from her squad and different squads would compliment her on being strong and being able to not only take care of her duties as a captain, but also able to raise a child into a beautiful teenager. Well, a being that has the mentality of a teenager. By Shinigami standards, she was still quite young. Things were quite different now. The once caring, little girl has grown into something so unruly. She would rather do what she wants rather than listen to Yuri. By now, several years have past. At least close to fifty years. Yuri and Ronin now share a child together. Though he tries to help out during what little free time he has, most of the responsibility has fallen upon Yuri, Jiro, and Shi to take care of the Toddler.

“The answer is no, Shi. It’s too dark for you to head out.”

“You have got to be kidding me! The place isn’t even that far away from here!”

“Even so, I’m not letting you out this late at night. You said you were going to watch Megumi tonight and I am holding you to your word.”

“But Lady Yuri, I don’t want to babysit! I want a social life as well!”

“No is final, Shizune.”

By this point, Shizune was infuriated. She felt like she was being treated like a child. Why can’t Yuri let her do what she wants? She never lets her have any kind of fun. She’s always been a stick in the mud.

“You’re so mean, Lady Yuri! You never let me have any fun!”

Yuri glanced up from her desk to the young girl before her. She had to grit her teeth in order to keep herself from yelling. She was trying to understand where Shizune was coming from. Maybe she was being too strict or overprotective.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to not have fun, Shizune. You must understand that now is not the time to be living in a carefree manner.”

“Don’t give me that! I know that’s a lie! You just want me to turn into a bitter woman like you! You should have let me stay with Auntie Shukumei! I hate you!”

Those three words felt like a knife was pushed into her chest. Yuri lowered her head while glancing at her desk. It was as if a part of her had been broken. She might as well give into her ‘demands’. Shizune was going to do it anyway. Yuri got up, walking past Shizune, stopping at the door.

“Fine. Go on then. Go to where ever you want.”

“L..Lady Yuri?”

“I said go! You wanted to go so badly, so go!”

Shizune ran out and was gone in the matter of minutes. Yuri could only stand in the open door as she thought on what just happened. Those words rung in her mind over and over and each time, the pain from them felt like weights were being attached to her heart. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. As she stepped out of the building, Jiro had seen Shizune run out and saw her upset. He then saw Yuri step out some time later. Concerned, he stepped over to her.

“Captain, is everything alright?”

“…Just watch over the building and Megumi.”

Before he could say anything else, Yuri had flash stepped away. She had to get away from everything. She kept on until she got into a meadow that had all sorts of flowers in it. The sky was cloudy and was soon lit up from the lightning. The flash of light caught Yuri’s attention. She looked up to the sky and felt a drop of rain roll across her cheek. Then, it began to rain hard. Yuri scoffed, now drenched from all the rain.

“…Am I that bad of a person to be hated?”

You did nothing wrong. She’s ungrateful that you took the time to raise her. Everyone is ungrateful. You do everything to ensure that they themselves are happy while you are left to suffer the burdens that you never asked for.

“I always try to help not only Shizune, but everyone else. I go out of my way and what do I get?”

They say they have accepted you, but have they? You’ve seen how they’ve looked at you. History is repeating itself Yuri. They’re going to treat you as they did Ryouji.

“…Say what you want. Your words can’t reach my heart.”

When heading back to headquarters, she made sure to avoid Jiro and anyone else. She was far from being in a social mood. When back in her office, she noticed new reports on the desk. Reading over them, the one that mentioned increased Arrancar activity caught her attention. It seemed perfect. As soon as she stepped out, she ran into her lieutenant again.

“Captain, where are you going?”

“I’m going to take care of the Arrancar.”

“Alone?”

“It’s better that way.”

“Captain, that’s suicide!”

Without word, she headed out, requesting to go to the real world. In the meantime, Shizune was in Shukumei’s office to talk to her Aunt about Yuri. Shizune knew that her aunt would be on her side or at least she hoped she would be. Maybe she could help her understand Yuri more.

“Can you believe that she wouldn’t let me go out until just now? She’s so unfair!”

“Is it really unfair for her to keep you safe?”

“She’s keeping me shut up in the stupid squad building!”

“That isn’t true and you know it. She lets you go to the Academy and go to places during the day time. She’s only worried for your well being.”

“Yuri doesn’t care one bit! She’s—“

Shizune was quickly silenced by a slap to the face by her aunt. Shizune rested a hand on the cheek that was slapped and was in pure disbelief. Now that Shukumei had her attention, she would listen to what she had to say.

“Don’t you dare say something like that, Shizune. Yuri cares for you as if you were one of her own. If you think she’s trying to replace your mother and father, you’re wrong. No one can ever do that. Have you even thought about how she feels?”

“What do you mean?”

“Yuri has been through a lot, Shizune. Did you know that she was there when Ronin had died? She watched him die and was helpless to save him. Many of her comrades have died as well. She’s one to blame herself if something goes wrong.”

“How do you know about all of this? She never told me any of that.”

“It took a while, but she eventually told me. She didn’t tell you because that’s how she is. She knew that she had to be strong for you and give you the right kind of environment you needed to grow up in. She hid everything in the deepest part of her heart.”

“I...had no idea… Still...”

“Just go back home and think about what I’ve said, alright?”

“Alright... Night, Auntie.

In the living world, Yuri was a bloody mess. Her body was covered with cuts and bruises and yet, she still felt the need to continue. With each step, her body was screaming at her for making it endure such pain. It didn’t matter to her. Her state of mind was slowly deteriorating. She then leaned against the side of a building, panting. She had to keep going. She couldn’t afford to stop.

Why do you continue to fight? Are you fighting for them? Are you going to protect them?

“Why…should I protect those who… take advantage of my kindness? I give people my heart because I care for them and what do they do? They crush it within their hand and expect me to remain kind.”

I can feel your repressed hatred. There’s more to it than that. You feel abandoned, don’t you? Two of your mentors are dead. Shukumei is too busy and hardly has the time of day. Shizune… she doesn’t care on how you feel. She is only concerned about herself. See what having emotions do to you? People take advantage and then destroy everything! They’re not friends! Toss out your feelings, Yuri. Allow me to take revenge for you! Let your hatred consume you!

Yuri then released a great deal of Reiatsu as her emotions got the best of her. Though, she was trying to resist what was going on. It was like her subconscious realized what was going on and was trying to stop it.

Why do you resist Yuri? Are you going to continue to let them control you? You’re going to end up dying one way or another. You can feel the despair, can you? It’s deep in your heart. You fear dying by the Shinigami hunters. Give in and submit to me!

Now, it was too late to stop what was happening. The Hollowification process has started and was speeding up drastically. The Hollowfied Yuri gave out a demented laugh. All that was left was to get rid of anything and everything that was holding Yuri together as a Shinigami. Shizune had made it back to the 3rd headquarters sometime in the morning. She was slightly drunk and just went into her room. It wasn’t before long Megumi was up and about. The little girl went into Shizune’s room to play. For a while, Shizune had ignored that Megumi had even come into the room. She was swaying a little trying to move about and was stumbling into a few things. Seeing it as something fun to do, Megumi had started to imitate what Shizune was doing. With a loud crashing sound, Shizune quickly turned her attention to the little girl.

“W..What are you doing?”

“I’m wike you Shi~”

“L..Like me?”

Megumi nodded her head frantically and continued with her drunken act until she was stopped by Shizune. She kneeled down to the girl’s level and just hugged onto her tightly. For once, she was able to see clearly on what Yuri was trying to do with her. She had to tell Yuri that she was sorry.

“Please..Don’t do that, Emi. It’s not right to do that.”

“Awww, I was havin’ fun..”

After sending the little one off to bed, Shizune had time to reflect on what she saw Emi do. Was she really like that? The more she thought about it, the guiltier she felt about telling Yuri that she hated her. She really didn’t. She just felt angry at the time and just had to get rid of it somehow. Shizune knew that she had to find Yuri. Now that she thought about it, Yuri wasn’t in when she got back. Did she step out or something? As she searched around the squad building, Shizune saw Jiro and he looked very worried.

“Jiro, what’s wrong? Is Lady Yuri missing or something?”

“If only that was the case. She left out of here in a hurry to go look for the Arrancars.”

“Why would she do that all by herself? I don’t think she’s that stupid...”

“Well, it’s not the first time Captain has had a death wish.”

“What do you mean?”

“She was like this some time ago before Ronin found his way to her again. It’s as if she’s lost the will to live. I hate seeing her like this...”

Those words seemed to of stung deep. Was Yuri acting this way because of her? Now she had to find her no matter what it takes. Leaving the squad and heading over to her Aunts, Shizune more or less busted in after everyone was getting ready to get some sleep.

“Shizune, what are you doing here?”

“Auntie… Please, you have to come with me. Yuri has gone missing!”

-Back to current events-

The Hollowfied Yuri was causing a lot of destruction. There was no inner battle like there used to be in the past. Yuri has resigned and given the Hollow full reigns. Her heart and mind had become closed to what used to be her home and world. There were Shinigami that were stationed in the Real World to fight her off. They either had a chance of talking sense into her or putting the poor captain out of her misery. Hollow Yuri had a few Shinigami on her as if they were trying to weigh her down and make her fall. With a surge of reitasu, she flung them off and started to chuckle. She grabbed one by the throat and lifted him up in the air.

“It’s kind of sad that you had to die like this. Oh well, you all have to die sooner or later!

Shizune and Shukumei just got there in time to see Yuri lift up the Shinigami. If they didn’t do something soon, there would be no bringing Yuri back from the brink of destruction. They had to try to reach her.

“Yuri, please stop this! It’s me, Shukumei! The Yuri I know wouldn’t be doing this!”

There are people calling out my name… It’s faint, but I know it’s there. Who’s calling me?

“Ignore it, Yuri. It doesn’t concern you anymore, remember? The friends you thought you had no longer matter.”

[color=green“Lady Yuri, you must come to your senses! Break free!”[color]

That voice calling out... It sounds familiar... Who is it? They sound so worried… Why?

“Don’t listen! You’re fine the way you are! Let me handle things! I’ll protect you from those who willingly break your heart.”

“If she doesn’t regain control soon, she will die.”

..Die? Perhaps it’s best that I do… It’s not like I’m needed anymore..

“Say goodbye…SHINGAIMI!”

As Yuri tightened her grip on the Shinigami, Shizune and Shukumei knew that something had to be done, but right now, it was too dangerous. Still knowing the risk, Shizune took a step forward and attempted to talk to the Hollow, hoping to reach Yuri who was sleeping deep down inside the shell.

“Lady Yuri, it's Shizune. I know I said a lot of hateful things but...”

The Hollow dropped the Shinigami it was ready to kill, glancing to Shizune. It then decided that Shizune would be the first to die. After all, it seemed like she was the reason why it came free and the target of Yuri’s rage. It was going to have fun toying with her. So, it would use Yuri’s voice to get the point across.

“A lot doesn’t cover it, Shizune. I was willing to look past your foolish behavior because I was raising you. You know what really hurt the most?”

The Hollow lunged for Shizune who barely dodged in time. She was taken by the Hollow’s words. Everything was going according to plan. If it were to keep on, she may even stop dodging. The toying began again.

“I took care of you when you were just a small child. I did it to help out Shukumei because I knew how hard it was on her because how you look and how you acted like your mother and father. Of course, I felt the same, but I put it aside to give you a happy childhood and what thanks do I get? ‘I hate you’ is what!”

Shizune froze from hearing that. She had to apologize. She had to make things right again. When the Hollowfied Yuri stepped up close to Shizune, it was ready to swat her down to the ground. It slowly raised its hand up in the hair but was stopped when Shizune hugged onto her.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry for saying that I hated you! I had time to think about everything. I didn’t realize all the stresses and disasters that you have had. I was being selfish and not even think about how you felt. I didn’t know it was hard for you to raise me because of how I looked like Daddy and Mommy. I now understand that.. You just want me to be safe.. When I saw Emi copying me, it made my heart break. From now on… I’ll be someone you’ll be proud off!”

Yuri just lowered her hand, staring at Shizune. Something she had said just hit her hard. She couldn’t just give in. She still had people that she needed to protect. Even knowing that, she couldn’t awaken from the deep slumber she was in. Well, figuratively speaking of course.

“Please.. Don’t give in! We need you! Most importantly.. I need you! So does Emi”

Needed… I’m..Needed? That’s right.. My husband.. my daughter.. My friends..

Don’t listen to her, Yuri. She’s just saying whatever she has to in order to draw you in. You don’t need anyone. All you need is me!

..No.. I need more.. I need… my family!

After some time, the hierro started to break down until it was gone completely. There Yuri stood, still being hugged by Shizune. Shukumei let out a sigh of relief. She was just glad it was over. As Yuri collapsed, Shizune went with her, holding onto her.

“I’m sorry for saying that I hated you.. I really don’t you know. I’m just glad you’re okay. You’re everything to me!”

Yuri just hugs onto Shizune with all her might. She couldn’t believe she was about to kill the very person she swore to keep safe on the graves of her parents. At least nothing bad happened. Shukumei went over to them and helped them up.

“Come on… let’s go home.”

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