Chapter 1 - one

Angel...ish



I knew I was dying. Again.
I could feel my life essence draining away through the wound in my chest. The pain was awful. Greater pain then I had ever felt before. I closed my eyes against this world and thought about all of the people I had met and would never see again. My friends. I knew they might join me eventually. As I was thinking about this the pain grew greater as if somebody was trying to pull my heart out of my rib cage with a knife. Then it all ended and I died.


I woke up sweating. I hated that dream! I sat up slowly feeling more than slightly nauseated and wiped cold perspiration from my forehead. I had been having that same dream ever since I died. Which was like what three days ago? I swung myself out of bed, wincing as my bare feet touched the ice cold marble floor and stood up. I walked over to my white dresser and opened a drawer. I pulled out the traditional short white dress that according to the note that was left for me every girl wore here. Looking at it in disgust, I pulled it on over my slip. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy wearing dresses it was just that why did it have to be white? Every inanimate object in this whole darn world was white! EVERYTHING!!! They even used a special food coloring to turn the food white. Ok so not everything was white. The sky was still blue and the grass was still green and stuff like that that they couldn't control. I glanced over to the white silk curtain that led to the outside world. I really didn't want to go out there and face everybody again. I decided to stall and cook something. They had a banquet every morning but I preferred cooking for myself. I got all of the ingredents I would need for an ommlete and turned the stove on. After I had cooked my food I slid it onto a plate, grabbed a fork and sat at the table that stood in the middle of this apartment. I ate my food as slowly as I possibly could. As I chewed I thought about how the council had completly embarassed me yesterday. I have never picked up a sword in my life! How did they expect me to lead a whole army?! I mean I was still trying to wrap my head around the whole me being dead thing. It wasn't like the council broke it to me gently or anything! When my newly dead soul had appered in front of the council I thought I had ended up in Hell for a momment. They were that scary. The room was painted white but the light coming from the lamps fastened onto the walls was dulled slightly...It made it look like I was staring at everything through a thick layering of murky water. There were 7 of them, all sitting in identical chairs on raised platforms. Some were dressed in black some in white. Only one being was dressed in a deep blue robe. That person was in the center of all of the figures. And they were all staring at me. Well I thought they were staring at me. I couldn't really tell because their eyes were hidden under hoods but the hoods were all pointed in my direction.
"Your name," the one in the middle with the blue robe spoke in a monotone male voice.
"Uhh...Allison?"
"Full name," Deep Blue Robe Guy corrected.
"Oh um right. Allison Brown." I cringed. I had always hated the way my last name sounded. I didn’t like how plain it was.
"Very well," Blue Guy said sounding satisfied. He stared at me for a few more uncomfortable seconds. "You are dead. And you can follow Cecilia."
I stared at him for a second, disbelieving.
"D-dead?" I stuttered, "I'm not dead am I?"
I felt a hand on my sholder and whirled around. A girl who looked around 16 or 17 stood behind me. A white dress fell just above her knees. She swept a hand over her curly, blonde hair that was pulled back into a perfect ponytail at the nape of her neck. She gave me a sympathetic look and took my wrist in her hand. She started to lead me to a plain white door that was behind me. I hadn’t noticed it before.
Cecilia opened the door and led me through it and into...a field. I swear. I bright, sunny, flower covered, random, freaking field. Complete with long grasses, orange, red and purple silky wild-flowers, and a large twisted apple tree that was in bloom.
"Wha-?" I gasped. Cecilia looked back at me stopping.
"Don't you recognize this place?"
"No," I said right away, "and who are you anyway?"
"My name is Cecilia. My job is to show people who recently have died-"
"I am not dead," I interrupted, looking around frantically not wanting to believe her.
"-Around," she finished. She had the bored tone to her voice that suggested that she had made this speech several times.
"Now...Are you sure you do not recognize this place?" she asked again calmly.
I looked around taking in each little green-stemmed flower, each blade of tall brown grass. A slight breeze blew, picking up my hair and swirling it around. Apple blossom petals rode the wind in a short little dance before falling to the ground. The sky was a stunning light blue with a few wispy clouds moving lazily across the blue expanse.
"Ummm actually," I muttered. I had realized where I had seen this place before. I stared more closely at the apple tree in confusion. If I was dead then why was...
"Now do you understand why we came here?" Cecilia interrupted my thoughts, pushing up her white, square rimmed glasses on her nose.
"Uhhhhh...no."
Cecilia sighed impatiently.
"We came here so you could see your death."
"My...O-oh. Ok. Yeah...Let's go..."
"Good," she said and started walking away through the long grass.
"Wait!" I said turning towards the big twisted apple tree again.
"So you are telling me that I am dead and we are back in California on the day that I died and we are here so I can see myself dying.”
"Yes," she answered simply.
"No thanks." I said turning away from the my apple tree.
She turned around again and started walking. I had no choice but to follow her. We walked through the field that I had come to so often in my childhood to read, draw, or even sing sometimes. Nobody else knew about this field. I only came here by myself and never brought anybody with me, it was strange to weave through the familiar paths in the grass with another person. Especially with one who didn’t seem to like me very much and who had informed me that I was dead. The field ended and we walked through the huge thorn bush that separated my meadow from the rest of the world. A path of broken bricks lead us to my hometown. I stared around at the people going about their daily business.
“Mrs. Bryd!” I yelled recognizing my next door neighbor. I ran away from Cecilia and jumped in front of the plump woman clad in a long pink dress with tow bags of groceries in her arms. “Please help me! There’s a girl over there who says I’m dead and its really freaking me out! Can you-Oh!” Mrs. Bryd had completely ignored me and had walked through me. The sensation was terrible. I could feel my bones scraping against hers for the split second in which our bodies were together. Mrs. Bryd kept walking on as if nothing had happened. I kept very still. I turned my head to Cecilia.
"That was weird. Can't they see us?" I asked. Cecilia threw me a, "No freaking Duh," look and kept walking.
Alrighty then...
We walked until we got to my school. It wasn’t that far away from my field. Only about four blocks or so. I was a freshman as far as I could remember. I knew it was something like the first or second week of school because there was a line of kids at the office waiting for a new copy of their schedules that they had all lost. I couldn't understand why we were here. Then I realized, slowly.
"So...It happened in school?" I asked.
"Right between third and forth period." she said matter-of-factly. I followed her to a bench across some stairs and in front of my fourth period English classroom.
Cecilia motioned for me to sit down on the bench. I obeyed and she sat down next to me. She glanced at her watch.
"Any second now," she muttered darkly.
The bell rang.
I looked up as a whole bunch of students stormed out of different classrooms. Cecilia pointed to the top of the staircase. Standing there was the spitting image of myself. Waist length curly brown hair loose and bouncing up and down as I walked.
“Man this is weird...” I muttered. The past me carried a stack of books in her arms as she got closer and closer to the stairs. I turned my head away, almost guessing what was going to happen next. I’m such a klutz.
"You have to watch." said Cecilia, probably knowing that the only thing I wanted to do was to run away from the scene and hide. It sounded like she was enjoying this. Well good! I am SO glad that I provide amusement for her.
I turned toward the stairs, dreading the inevitable. The past me rifled through her books, looking for her schedule if I remembered my last moments right. She was focusing all of her attention on her books and not noticing how close she was getting to the stairs. She was at the top stair now. Somebody called her name from behind her and as she turned to face them she tripped over her own feet-HER OWN FEET- and fell down the stairs, somersaulting over her head. I heard a crack and winced. Her neck had broken. She fell to the bottom of the stairs and sprawled there, cracking her head on the ground. She lay there as blood leaked out around her. The boy who had called her name stood at the top of the stairs with his hand on his brown hair staring down at the girl lying crumpled at the bottom of the stairs in shock. I stared at the scene. Time seemed to stop for a few long seconds. There was dead silence. A girl standing next to my body screamed and recoiled. Time started back up again with a snap. More people yelled. Some guy called for a doctor. Everybody started moving. Everybody except that boy who had called the bleeding girl’s name from the stairs. He stood stock still, still staring down at her. For a moment the corners of his mouth seamed to twitch as if he was about to smile. But after a fraction of a second the moment was over and I realized I must have imagined it. People then ran to the girl laid out half on, half off of the stairs. Who was me. Have I mentioned that I was lying there, bleeding to death? My fourth period English teacher rushed out of his classroom and took in the hallway.
“Oh my god...Move away from her! Give her room!” He cleared a space around the girl who lay motionless of the tiles. The doctors came a few minutes later carrying a stretcher even though I think everybody knew it was too late to save the girl. I could bear to watch anymore. I turned my head away from my body and looked toward where Cecilia was sitting next to me, planning to ask her if I was allowed to leave now. Nobody was there. I stood up and glanced around the crowded hallway frantically, trying to find her. She was nowhere to be seen. I looked back to the bench and noticed a piece of paper laying on the seat. I rushed over to it and picked it up. On it were scrawled a few words in that neat meticulous handwriting that just had to be Cicilia’s.
Allison,
Your first test is to
find your way out of
the past and back to
First Heaven, Go.
Your time is limited.
-Cecilia
P.S. Helpful hint-Going
back to where everything
started should help.

"Oh no," I murmured. "Oh no, oh no, oh crap, oh no." I was panicking. I was alone in the past and my time was limited. Did that mean if I couldn’t get out of here I would disappear? Fail? Die again? Be stuck here forever, forced to watch myself die again and again?
"Ummmmmm..." I went up to one of the doctors who was lifting my body onto the stretcher. Reaching out I tried to tap her shoulder. My hand went right through her arm.
I cursed. I had forgotten I couldn’t touch anybody. I was on my own. I stared at my hand angrily. The doctor paused for a moment and shivered. She looked around, shrugged and continued working on getting my body onto the stretcher. I noticed that they weren't exactly rushing. They probably knew I was dead too.
"Ok so talking to people isn't an option..." I mused.
"Uhhhhh,"I turned away from my body that was now being covered with a white cloth and wondered how much time I had.
"Maybe I should go back to my field," I thought out loud trying to comfort myself. “That was where Cecilia had first taken me so that must be where I am supposed to go.”
I spun around and sprinted, literally through the crowd. The disgusting feeling of another person’s bones scraping against mine was overwhelming. I ran out of the school nearly tripping to avoid colliding into people and back to the field of my childhood.
We had landed right next to the flowering apple tree. I headed toward that area and stood there. I stared around stupidly. This was about as far as my plan had gone.
"Maybe if I close my eyes, click my heals three times and wish myself back..." I muttered angrily. I paused for a second, considering. “No that only works in the movies.” I chastised myself feeling like a complete idiot.
I flopped down onto the ground and let out a scream of frustration. After sitting there for a few seconds thinking furiously I took the note Cecilia had left so kindly for me out of my pocket and re-read it.
"Going back to where everything started should help..."
"Wasn't this where everything started?" I asked nobody in particular trying to calm down and think logically. "Unless..."
I turned back towards the school and started running. I was doing a lot of running lately and wasn’t exactly in the best of shapes. I had always been really bad at gym class. The adrenaline rush kept me going though.
I got back to the staircase outside of my English classroom and looked around. People were still gathered around the spot where I died, talking to each other. The brown haired boy was now sitting on the top stair still staring at the spot where I died. Silent tears had started to run down his cheeks. He couldn’t possibly think this was his fault could he? I climbed the stairs and stood beside him. I reached out my hand to try and touch his shoulder even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to. I didn’t even know who this guy was. I drew my hand back, deciding against this friendly gesture. I didn’t want to feel my bones and his scrape horribly together. And besides I didn’t have time for this. I clenched my hands into fists and shut my eyes really tightly.
After standing there for a couple of seconds I realized that this wasn't working either. I paced back and forth behind the boy.
“I went back to my field, went to where I died...” On an impulse I took the piece of paper back out of my pocket and turned it over. There was something written on the back. Feeling like an idiot, I read the message.

Death is the
Passageway to a new
life. To get there, one must
Leave the body. However
To return, one must put the
body to rest.


I stared at the piece of paper for a while and then crumpled it up and shoved it in my pocket. I looked around frantically for the doctors who had my body. I didn’t see them anywhere but I decided to head toward the front entrance which was the closest to the staircase. Half running, half walking, trying to avoid touching any of the people milling about the hallways. I made it to the entrance. The doctors were halfway down the flower lined side walk that led to the road where an ambulance was parked. The car’s lights were flashing wildly and their colors clashed horribly with the pink, orange, yellow, and green houses behind them. I ran beside the stretcher with my body under that white cloth. I reached up to pull back the sheet, but, of course, my hand couldn’t grasp it. I briefly wondered why I was able to sit down and walk on the ground with out falling through the earth but I didn’t have time to dwell on anything. A new sense of urgency was building up within me. I didn’t know why I had to hurry but I knew I did. Time was running out.
I passed my hand over my lifeless body, while keeping pace with the doctors. Taking a chance, I launched myself as high as I could and twisted toward the stretcher, landing inside my body.
For a moment I was alive again. The pain was maddening. My violent shaking sent spasms of agony that coursed through my entire being. I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t move. The edges of broken bones tried to poke through skin and my body moved around spastically, my soul trying to get out. It felt like I was dying all over again. But I didn’t fall through my body and the stretcher.
After a few more seconds of pure torture, I was free. I felt myself rising and the pain stopped suddenly.
“What the hell was that?!” I heard one of the doctors yelling. I couldn’t force my eyes to open. I floated farther and farther away on a breeze of painless bliss.
“I don’t know!”
“There was absolutely no chance she could have survived a broken neck and a cracked skull!”
“But she did! For a few seconds anyway...”
“She’s not still alive is she?”
“No, she’s not...I don’t under-”
The worried voices of the doctors faded away into nothing and I passed out completely.

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