Chapter 3 - We the people of Naruto

Diclaimer: The only chance I have of owning Naruto is the chace of seeing pigs fly *sees pig tossed into the air* Wait does that count???
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Discription: What happens… when the gang from Naruto… finds out about…FANFICS!!!!!!
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Title- Now For Your Featured Presentation
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Chapter Two- We the people of Naruto
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Last Chapter- Yaoi and Yuri are read and reactions are well…
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WARNING: May cause comments, flames, bordem, laughter, tears, headaces, nausioua, indigestion, or all of the upbove (no just kidding ^____-- )
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“Hnn. Let me see if I‘ve got this straight; You found an e-mail, read it and all these stories appeared that were about each and everyone of you.”

“Yes.”

Everyone was confined in a single room, Tsunade’s office to be exact. The sensei’s managed to tell Tsunade this first thing in the morning (not without a horrible traumatic night for everyone of course). But all they got in return from the 5th was…

“Hahahaha, This is some really bad joke. And you even got your students involved. Kukuku.”

“This isn’t some joke Tsunade. Take a look for your self.” Asuma handed the laptop to (insert assistant’s name here whom I have totally forgotten oh wait it’s Shizune sorry :P) and it was placed on her desk.



“Hnn… I see… but why go to all this trouble? Can’t you just tell your students not to read this and tell them it’s an order?” pondered the Hokage, who was still thinking of this as somewhat of a joke. “I t is not that simple. You see, they have already seen them and you know how kids are. They can’t stay away from this for too long.” Guy took his hand up in his classic pose, “ I am sure they are too smart to fall for it.” Too bad everyone else was too tried to care , though if they only knew what was going on they definitely wouldn’t have woken up kukuku…

~*~
“ I had no clue I was this... popular. SakNaru, NejiSak, ItaSak, KakaSak. There’s so much. At least there are allot with Sasuke and I but too be honest I never had thought of it going as far as a lot of those did. *sharp exhale* but it looks like there’s still more. Hmm.. Breathe Again (a/n this is a good fanfic but there are too many named this so your probably thinking of twelve at once, sorry) that sounds good.” The pink hair, pms prone, medic ninja (a/n yes she ca be a “tad” controlled by her hormones and feelings, how did inner Sakura come to be then? Huh? Also this is no insult to her) moved her mouse and started to read and scroll down until,“ Wait a moment Choji?! Okay I’ve had enough of this! Off it goes!!!”

Then in a “bit” of a huffy mood she kicked the computer, but maybe it was a bit too hard. Poor Mr. Dell got stuck in the wall with his hard dive and floppy disks and everything all over. Maybe if she visited a friend she might have a chance to get this off her mind. Maybe. Maybe not.

~*~

“You see literature can be just as good with a man and a woman as with a man and a man.” He pulled out some scrap papers and began working.

“Still Jirya- senin… Wait a minute is this even physically POSSIBLE?!” yelled a certain blonde leaf village ninja. “Yes, man or woman. It doesn’t mater with that one. But that’s not the best there. My personal fav-”

“Okay that was a little more that I need to know, “Ino shivered. She was only there because she wanted to know if anyone knew anything about these things. She soon found out that Jirya, after printing his own manga, soon came to the world of fanfics and fanart. He learned allot from printing two issues of his “masterpiece.” Too bad he might know a little too much for Ino’s young mind. For all she knows she could be driven too the dark side of fanisim, a Yaoist with the possible chance to make any of her dreams come true, because all the main characters are right there in front of her. Also it’s not like Jirya would stop that either. He is too busy with his own work…

“Oh my, this is a wonderful piece of work. Very lemony; Let me get some notes.”

“Huh, What did you mean by ‘lemony’?”

“Well…”

~*~

“Hahahahahahahahahah, whoa hehe wow! This is just hehe to fu funny Hahahaha!”

“What is it Tenten did you find something good?” asked Lee picking up his head from reading a magazine. Team Guy was all gathered around the library computer except for well…Guy. It’s a good this that he wasn’t there either because what Tenten had found was… crack jokes. And not about just anyone either, but their teacher too.

“Let me take a look Tenten.”

“Sure Neji, just prepare yourself kuku.”

“Alright hmm…” and after scrolling down not even a page a humongous grin came across his face and then, “Hahahaha!”

“Please let me see!!”

“Uhmm.. I’m not sure this is the best thing for you too see Lee.”

“Yeah Tenten is right. You might be a little…disappointed in Guy-sensei.”

“Guy sensei is Konoha’s proud beast. I’m sure he could never disappoint me; He has never once.”

At that Neji and Tenten took a look at each other and tried to take in what Lee just said with out busting up laughing. Then in unison they said, “It’s going off.”

“Come on Tenten let me take a look. Neji got to.”

“It’s definitely going off Lee. So no more arguing.”

“Neji, This is not fair.”

Even though he tried his best to debate he never got a chance to see. The history was deleted and the computer was turned off. Lee would never get to see, “Konoha’s Best Yaoi Couples” ever. Sure other popular couples were there like KakaIru and of course SasuNaru but none of them ever said that GuyLee were at the top in the popularity…

~*~


While waiting for a mission the two male members of Team 8 were training… *cough it wasn’t exactly training per se* and waiting for Hinata to arrive already. Then SLAM! The door whammed opened and was shut close immediately following with all the locks on the doors being locked and planks being nailed against the door.

“Hinata, Calm down for a minute. You’re paler then normal. What happened to you?”

“Kiba-kun th there’s fanboys everywhere. They wa-wanted to rip off my clothes. Please save me” Hinata cried while her labored breathing continued.

“They what?”

“Oh whoops. Do not collect 200 yen. How can this help us with training I still don’t understand.”

“Shino stop playing Ninolpoly* already!” Kiba yelled at Shino who quietly put the game pieces away, “I still can’t understand why I couldn’t be the racecar.” Kiba mutter and then realized the certain situation Hinata was in. Then, at probably the worst time while Hinata was grasping on to his arm, he remember something from this morning.

This is a flash back all further flashbacks will be in italics okey-dokey-artichokie?

“So this is what ‘shipping’ is.” Naruto said in wonder. “Why are there so may of me and Hinata? I wonder…”

Kiba just grunted he was shocked at how blind Naruto could be at times. Not only that but Hinata was really pretty without all those jackets and coats. She was way too over-protective with her body. She had a really nice shape underneath and Kiba had gotten to see more than any other, being on her team after all. Wait why was he thinking this? He shook his head and tried to forget his last thoughts until something Neji said woke him up.

“Kiba it seems that in Japan we are a very popular match for Hinata-sama… I hope your not getting any ideas, Inuzuka.”

Of course Kiba was guilty, his last thoughts were just about that. Naruto’s Hentai magazines weren’t helping either…

“Of course I’ll help you Hinata! Let’s go to a nice… quiet place…you and me…”

“I think this situation worsened your already idiotic brain.”

“Shino!”

“Just telling the truth…”

Oh Burn! Shino’s all gangster-ghetto cough-cough sorry for my interruption, on with the story…

~*~


‘THIS ISN’T RIGHT! WHYAM I ALWAYS THE UKE!!”

“What, you expect me too be?”

“Yeah Sasuke-teme, you act more like a girl then me!”

“Naruto you’re not one to talk, your penis is so-”

“Yeah right, at least I’m not followed after by some creepy pervert aka Orochimaru!”

“As if I care. Besides I have more girls after me in fanfics and in real life.”

“That’s only because you’re some stupid faced emo who probably never even went out with a girl nor the less ever thought about one!”

“You dumbass baka! As if you can even have a girl! Or even a guy!”

“Stop fighting you two!” Sakura yelled as she hit both of their heads. “What is wrong with you two? I came here so I could maybe get my mind of this whole ‘fandom’ thing but here I come only to be welcomed with the idea of you two…” Sakura then blushed at the thought of what she was about to say, well yell. She never thought of anything like that, nor the less who would be the uke. It made her shiver a little at the thought of her two team mates…No she put her hand to her forehead to try to forget the thoughts.

“Sorry Sakura. It’s just WHY AM EVEN PAIRED WITH THIS GUY!” Naruto yells to Sasuke. There goes all her chances to forget the thought of them two-. With a sigh Sasuke shows his forgiveness and a grunt to Naruto. At least there weren’t any between her and Ino or something. Or at last any that she hadn’t read yet…

“Naruto forget about them. They aren’t real.” Though her own words kinda broke her fantasies with Sasuke she had from reading the fics, at least it took her mind off of them- yeah you know.

“Sakura’s right, no matter how realistic they may be, they are not the true story.” With that Sasuke got up from the hit Sakura gave, that she was now regretting. She can see why Tenten idolizes Tsunade. She is so strong and to deal with Jirya and Ochimaru on her old team. She wonders how the Third could have possible taught them. It was allot like her team with Kakashi. Wait something hit her.

‘You guys, Where’s Kakashi-sensei?”

“I don’t know Sakura. As matter of fact I haven’t seen him all day.” Naruto said thinking of their teacher, “ Why do you want to know?”

“I haven’t seen any of the teachers today and I was wondering if I was the only one.”

“I think they’re all talking with Tsunade.” Sasuke said after remember something.

‘Hnmm I wonder what they’re doing”

~*~
‘Shino you scarred me. How long have you been there?”

“A while…” Shino had appeared right behind Choji while he was eating his chips. When he saw Shino right behind him he almost choked on his food. Shikamaru had seen him earlier so he thought Choji did too. He even said “Hey” but Shikamaru’s best guess was Choji couldn’t hear him over the sound of his own chewing.

“You look better than you did on your birthday Shikamaru. Too be honest you look a little calm and peaceful.”

“Why wouldn’t he be.” Choji said reaching in the bottom of his bag for the crumbs.

“Huh what do you mean be that?”

“I might have been a little shocked at first, but that was only because I have never thought about anyone like that. I should be lucky though. If I’m not paired with the hot sand sibling, it’s Konoha’s hottest, or the sexy chick from the Sound five or the hot brunette from the Chunin exams… or all of the at the same time… Should I be complaining?”

“I hate it when you talk like that, the best I got was Ino, Ugh.”

“Women are complicated specimens Choji. Beetle fight each other for a mate so only the strongest get to produce offspring. Shikamaru is the only one of us who became a chunin, so it’s only obvious he would get the most women.”

“Well you don’t have to say it like that.”

~*~

“Alright the experts I have just called just called are here now, so please give your welcome to Miss Mary- Sue and Mr. Gary-Sue. They know very much about this field and will inform us on the matter.”

“Hi I’m like Mary-Sue and this is like Gary- Sue Gary-Sue and we know like a lot about this stuff so like if you have any question just like come and like ask us questions Okay?”

This girl was your total blonde. She had the looks of one and the brains of any stereotypical one. She practically was the one that made up that bias. She gets paired up with every guy in every story so she knows all about this. Her partner in crime, Gary-Sue, is another stereotype. He’s got the big muscles, tall body, tan skin. Not only that but he’s able to do allot of jutsus. How did these people come to be? From the people, the fans. We created these “perfect people” just so we can some how participate in Masashi Kishimoto”s aka the author’s story. I have nothing wrong with OC’s or even Mary and Gary- Sue’s it’s just, Make Them Realistic Goshdonic! On with the story….

Kakashi pulled down his reading “material” and saw a very hot chick right up in his grill (a/n I love that word). “Especially you hehe.”

“Now look. We might not be the best choice for this so we are going to call in some help.” Gary-Sue said as he looked at himself in the mirror.

“Aren’t you enough.”

“Gary-Sue’s right like we need are creat- I mean boss to help us out with this situation. It would help us like allot alright?” smiled the Mary-Sue.

‘When do you think he would arrive.”

“Not he Hokage, she. She will arrive shortly let me just like call her on my sidekick.”

As the junin questioned what she was going to do. She took out her found anyway and waited on the dial tone. “OMG I LIKE LOVE THIS SONG!” Mary-sue squealed. She started listening to “Smack That” and then heard the voice machine. “We are sorry. The number you have just called has been either disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have heard this message in error please hang up and try again.’

“Ugh this is like bogus. We’re gonna have to like try again some other time. The boss changed her number.”

‘Don’t worry we’ll provide you with some hotel rooms.”

“Can I be with like him.” Mary-Sue linking her arm on Asuma which got Kurenai jealious until Gary-Sue started saying the lamest lines ever, “You look familiar, Have I seen you before? Oh Yeah You look like my next girlfriend. If I bit my lip would you kiss it to make it better? Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes. I’m like a rubix cube babe, the more you play with me the harder I get. You be the ice burg and I’ll be the Titanic and I’ll go down with you. If I tossed this 50 cent coin What are the chances of me getting head?”

“Ugh this is gonna be a long night.”

~*~

“You’ve got mail from blind-bird230” Gaara heard as he was checking his mail. “Hmm what’s this?”

“Onee-san What’s sand–cest?”

“Don’t worry Gaara big sister’s hear to help you. Kankuro put your lipstick on your face latter erase the history quickly before Gaara sees!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming. Oh my Why was he looking at this?”

“Just hurry up and delete it! Now don’t worry Gaara you won’t have to worry about that right now.”

“Temari I’m sure I can handle it.”

“Yeah the same way you handled Onee-san’s monthly girl thing.”

“Okay then no need to say anymore.”

‘What’s taking you so long all you have to do is-“

“I can do it my self. I’m a big-boy alright?”

“But you can get it done quicker if you just-“

“I know what I’m doing!”

“No, if you did you’d be doing what I’ve been trying to tell you!”

“Maybe some people just don’t want to listen to you”

‘Maybe some people just don’t want to even bother talking with some people!”

“Then don’t talk!”

“No I will because you’re still doing this wrong.”

Ugh a normal day-in the-life of the Sand Siblings. Gaara was fed up with this and wanted to know what was going on in the Leaf Village. Too bad for him it was even worst. Fandom was and is spreading across the Naruto world and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Or was there?

~*~

‘hey xXxlovesshortiexXx finally updated her story”

“LOL I just did to”

‘I just got a freaky message on my cell Do you no anyone named Mary-Sue?”

“Let me hear the message when you come over to my house to play Grand Thief Auto”

“Totally did you really get the new ps3?”

“YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! XXXXXDDDDDDD”

“You aren’t happy *totally sarcasm*”

“No of course not 8totally lieing* ”











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Next time: Miss May- Sue and Mr. Gary-Sue. The sand team comes to Konhona. The “boss” comes to the stage. What about Hinata and Kiba? Naruto and Nji’s discovery hint hint? And don’t you dare think I’ve forgotten about the Micheal Jackson of Anime of the evil bat cav- I mean lair of the Akatsuki. So wait and comment or Sai will take away your Final Fantasy games and replace them with his art collection.

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Author’s Notes- I am super duper duper DUPERLY SORRY for the lateness again. I had this finished but then midquarters came and well I did bad. I told my parents it wasn’t the real grade so I can still bring it up. So my parents have been making me do loads of extra credits to make up from when I was sick. Dang E.R. Also I’ve been grounded from computer unless I needed it for school and school ONLY. So I had no time for updates, submissions, or even comments. I promise if I ever get sick again while working on a project I will try my bestest to do my homework at the same time so I won’t get behind. Wow that was a ramble. But yeah comment comment and COMMENT and COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!! P.S. If you like Harry potter your gonna be really happy with the next chapter. XD

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