Chapter 20 - when

When you feel sad, I start to cry, why do I feel this way?
Fighting with my own emotions. I can't control them.
Friends always ask: ``what's wrong with you?'' and they always get the same answer: ``I don't know why do you keep asking?''
I hate it when they ask it although they mean it real good.
When I feel this way everything bothers me, it feels like I can't take it anymore and falling in a endless deep ridge .
When you call me, my heart stops for a moment, what would you do, when I'd say:
I love you.
Would you hate me? Ignore me forever, say it doesn't matter or would you say you love me to?
These questions drive me crazy.
So much that I want to jump in a waterfall and never climb up again.
Committing suicide seems to be the only way out.
But, do you come in heaven when you commit suicide?
I don't know, they say you'll go to hell, that's the last thing I want.
My imagination of being an angel is great, helping so much people as possible.
That are the emotions running trough my veins at the moment.

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