Chapter 4 - Muggers and hugs

I don't know how long I was running and I don't know where I was going but I just had to keep moving. It felt like my lungs were bleeding, I had tears streaming down my face, my bare feet were bruised and bloodied and I could go no further. I collapsed onto the side of the road. I sat there panting and sweating for the best part of an hour before I could controll my shaking body. My head was spinning. Were was I? "Hey you!" My head whipped around. Trouble. Once again I felt the air being crushed from my lungs as someone made off with my wallet. I growned and rolled over. Picking myself off the ground I began to stumble along the street looking for something, anything, that was familiar. It was dark now and the street lamps were lit. I wondered aimlessly until I heard something I liked. "The sea!" My legs found the motivation they needed somehow, I ran to the beach. I reached the sand and with my last Joule of energy, climbed down the banks and drove my head into the soft gold powder. I tryed to get up but all I managed to do was throw up my lunch. I felt like I was going to die there but I didn't care. This was the place I loved most. Then, someone was calling my name. It was Taylor. "Big brother?" I whispered as he picked me up. "I'm sorry big brother."

My parents let me stay home on Friday, that was after yelling at me from running away into the night in the first place. I got up early on Friday, even though I had the day off, because I needed to talk to Amanda. "Can I come in?" I asked tentatively.
"O.k." She looked a little confuesed at my request. I usually just walked in since we shared the room. I had just been talking to Taylor about the man who mugged me and told him about having to cancle my credit card, but thats not what i wanted to talk to Amanda about. "I'm sorry...for yelling at you and grabbing you. I didn't mean to, I supose we're all a little edgy at the moment but that is no excuse for my behaviour." I closed my eyes, praying that she would accept my appology. I opened one eye to find her smiling at me. Laughing even. "Don't worry about it Ricky," she smiled again. Such a sweet inocent smile it was like drinking in the sun. "I know you didn't mean to." Her eyes were sparkling diamonds. How how could she be so forgiving? "Thankyou." I muttered, lowering my head so she wouldn't see my tears. "I love you Ricky." She surprised me by saying and gave me a hug. I was startled at first, then I returned her embrace. "I love you too Manda."

After talking to Amanda I crawled back in bed and slept all day. It was afternoon when my Mum came into my room, "You have a visitor."
"Tell them I'm sick."
"It's Patrick."
"Oh, let him in!" Patrick slowly entered my room as if it was the room of a dead man. "Hello Ricky." I smiled and sat up onto my elbows, "Hi Patrick." He sat on the edge of my bed as Mum left the room NOT closing the door. I thought that was odd, she'd never done that before. Patrick and I had been friends for years, did she think that was about to change? "Why are you frowning Rick? Something wrong?" I shook my head.
"No, I'm fine." And I plastered together a fake smile for him. He continued to look worried. "Ricky, you look horrible!" He made me laugh. At least he was honest. "Yes, and I supose you want to know what happened." Patrick was shaking his head even before I finished my sentence. "Your Mum told me."
"Oh......." Silence. I would usually welcome silence but I didn't enjoy the quiet that had eaten its way into our conversation. Tension grew. Tension that never used to be preasent. Something had grown between me and my best friend. Perhaps so much ahd happened to me in the last few weeks that we could no longer relate to one another. Whatever it was, it was lingering between us like a dead cow on a railway track.


It was Saturday. Me and Patrick always spent Saturday together, but I was alone at the beach. I let the waves tickle my toes as the ocean breathed in and out. There was always something appealing to me about the sea. Mystery maybe. Adventure perhaps. I don't know, I just love being there. I was never lonely at the beach. But wait, that couldn't be right, could it? I was at the beach but something was wrong. I WAS lonely! Horribly lonely. I cuddled my legs into my chest and wept into my knees. Why was I so empty? I sat there long after my tears had dried up. Void of any emotion. Closing myself off from the world. Lying down on the sand I pretended I was the only person on the face of the earth. "Ricky?" It was really hard to pretend you're the only person on the face of the earth when someone is talking to you. So I sighed and turned around, and there was Patrick. "Ricky, we always spend Saturday together. Why did you not call?" He looked so hurt and confuesed, although I had no idea why. It was only one day that we spent apart. As if he read my mind he said, "It's not just today, you've been avoiding me." And there it was again. Tension. I was beginning to wonder whether that rotting cow on the railway was ever going to move, but I wasn't willing to touch it. Patrick was, "What's come between us?"
"Drop it Pat." He recoiled when I said 'Pat' but chose to ingore it.
"Rhona."
"I said, drop it!"
"Where are you going?"
"You don't need to know." I hissed at him and walked away.
"Ricky!" His voice was depicting his pain. Why did I not hear it? "Ricky, I don't want us to fall apart. Rhona....RHONA!!!" And I was running again. Why was I always running? I guess my pride was getting in the way. But why was pride involved? What was I too proud to tell Patrick? That I actually need his company? That I'm hurting and want his help? well, it was too late to turn back. My pride had taken over.

Back at home things were as noisey as usual. Taylor was talking to Dad about Univercity, Mum was humming as she was cooking, Amanda was talking loudly on the phone over the sound of the twins fighting over the xbox controller. "It's my turn!"
"No its not! Give it back!!!"
"Guys, guys! Calm down." I smiled at them. "Why don't you play two-player?" The boys didn't look to pleased with my idea, probably because I had thought of it. "I don't wanna play anymore." Dale ran off to find his friend Tomas who lived next door. Daniel looked sad to see that his twin had abandoned him and he was near tears. "Don't worry Daniel, I'll play with you." I jumped. I hadn't seen Patrick come in after me. He gave me a wink and settled down to play xbox with Daniel who was more than just a little happy to have someone as cool as Patrick to play with. Now perhaps you see why I said patrick had a big heart. He was so caring and careful, you couldn't help loving him, So he had become part of the family. I watched over their shoulders for a while before going outside to practise hoops. Basketball in hand, I shot, I scored. Ball in hand, shoot, score. Ball in hand, shoot, score. The steady rythmn of the basketball swishing through the hoop kept me calm. I kept my eyes on the goal. I continued doing this for over an hour, unaware I was being watched. Ball in hand, shoot, score. Ball in hand, shoot, score. Ball in hand, shoot, score. Ball in hand, shoot, score. Ball in hand, shoot, score. Ball in hand, shoot, score. Ball in hand, shoot, score. Ball in hand, shoot.......miss!!! I let the ball roll away from me. Nausia flooded me. How could I have let my life get so out of hand? I let things slip away, I lost what I was aiming for. I missed. I began to cry. Patrick's arms once again engulfed me and I sobbed into his chest. I hiccuped and choked on my tears as he stroked my hair. "Hush hush, It's ok."
"P-Patrick?"
"Yeah?" He looked down at me and gently wiped away my tears with him thumb.
"I-I m-missed." Pointing to the basketball that lay five or so metres away from the hoop. Patrick chuckled and gave me one of his corner-of-the-mouth smiles, "We all miss sometimes." And he squeezed me tight. All the tension that was previously hindering our friendship had vanished. For the moment, the only thing between us were our clothes.

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