Chapter 1 - a step-by-step guide

There will only be one chapter since there are only a few basics you need to know…

















How to administer a pill of medicine to your cat in 29 easy steps:










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Hold cat’s mouth open and place pill inside.




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Head to bathroom and place a band-aid on your bitten finger.




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Search and find the spit out pill under your rug.




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Immobilize cat with one hand while inserting the pill into mouth with the other.




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Head back to the first aid kit and bandage the scratches and cuts on your arm.




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Find nail clippers and clip cat’s claws.




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Wait patiently fot cat to finish display of anger.




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Get new pill.




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Go to store and buy a cardboard tube.




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Place cat in tube leaving head sticking out.




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Stop tube from shaking wildly with one hand while administering the pill with the other.




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Patiently remove pieces of shreaded cardboard from room.




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Remove half chewed pill from your hair.




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Take a moment to cry over your failed attempts.




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Head to bedroom and grab a pillow.




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Smother cat with pillow, leaving head out.




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Wrestle pill into cat’s mouth.




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Remove cat from curtain.




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Remove pill from your hair.




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Change environment, go to kitchen.




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Plot downfall of cat using sharp objects as inspiration.




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Put the knives and sharp objects down and settle for having a popsicle instead.




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Quickly stop cat from chewing through the wire of the toaster.




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Sneak up on cat from behind, scaring it and shoving the pill into mouth as fast as possible.




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Recover from uncounciousness and quickly stop the small fire now engulfing the toaster.




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Open all windows to let smoke out.




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Chase after the cat now escaping though open window.




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Lie down for a rest after running around hopelessly for hours.




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Give up and decide cat has won ( afterall, this has cost you way too much money, time and energy )




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