Chapter 3 - The Kids Network

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Animaniacs, Cartoon Network, Disney, and I don't own anything Warner Brothers.

Chapter Three; The “Kids Network”

With the morning gone and passed the afternoon sun beat down on the Warner Brothers lot in Burbank California. Inside the Water Tower there was absolutely pure and utter silence, the TV wasn’t on any more, given that the event after watching a contemporary cartoon station, not even Yakko spoke. All three Warners just sat on the couch, Dot and Yakko sat upright as Wakko laid over the couch armrest, his head on the cushions of the couch.

Yakko looked at Dot and spoke slowly. “You… What?” He asked.

Dot looked at Yakko and pointed to the TV. “That cartoon station uuh…” Dot wondered.

Wakko looked at Dot upside down. “Kids Network…” He corrected.

Dot looked at Yakko and pointed to the TV. “Kids Network is stealing all kinds of old cartoon ideas!” Dot exclaimed.

Yakko looked at her worryingly. “Come on Dot, you know that cartoons nowadays are cliché… heck even Daffy used the same stuff Bugs Bunny did…” He said.

“And because he could do that was because he’s apart of Warner Brothers! This stuff is like… seeing an anvil sit there, and have someone fall on it! It’s not funny! It’s not random! It’s not the style…” Dot complained.

Yakko rolled his eyes and looked angrily at Dot for raising her voice. “It’s not our problem!” He snapped. But the hurtful gaze on Dot’s face made Yakko correct his tone. “Look, cartoons today are plenty funny for kids, and if they aren’t so what? It’s not our right to go down there and barge into the studio and say; ‘hey your cartoon’s not funny enough!’ it’s as simple as that.” He said. Yakko crossed his arms in front of his chest after he spoke as though he had made his point and wanted to go no further into the conversation.

Even though Yakko had made a point Dot still objected. “But didn’t you see that bunny on there? Personality was exactly like Bugs, but he was mixed colored! A plain and straight knock off.” She explained.

Yakko didn’t even glance at his younger sister. “Not our problem.” He said.

Dot looked at Yakko with worry. “But all of those characters Yakko…” She said softly.

Yakko tried to ignore his sibling’s look; it was full of both concern and wide full of sorrow. “I said it’s not our place to stand up to them…” He said softly, hoping the discussion would cease.

Much to Yakko’s despair Dot did not want to drop the discussion as much as he would have liked. “Not even to mention to Bugs that there’s been a spoof?” Dot asked.

The more Dot prodded him mentally the more frustrated he got. “Oh yeah, Yakko Warner, the least known cartoon character in the history of history is going to go up to Bugs Bunny like he’s only right next door just to tell; ‘hey, Bugs, did you know people today are trying to make a better version of you?’ yeah, that’ll make his day. He’ll probably go all-paranoid on me, think I’m working for them, and tackle me down. I can see the headlines; unknown cartoon character taken down by Bugs!” He said.

Wakko looked angrily at Yakko for both raising his voice once more and being so unsure of himself. “Oh you pessimist! Why can’t you ever take the chance?” He asked.

Yakko got up from the couch, hoping to fume, hoping everyone would let him be, and yelled back at Wakko. “Oh you optimist! It’s not worth it.” He hissed.

As much as Yakko hoped Dot still hopped up off of the couch and followed Yakko, not wanting to drop the subject. “Well I think it’s worth it.” She argued.

Yakko stopped walking, and spun around to face Dot, and couldn’t help but shout in frustration. “Oh sure! Let’s all stand up for a company that doesn’t even spend its own money to keep us in here. Let’s all get up and fight for the company that threw us away inside this Tower in the first place! Yeah right.” He retorted.

Wakko then came into view with a point he had to make. “If their attacking Warner Brothers than why wouldn’t they try and make replicas of us?” He asked.

Dot looked at Wakko then back at Yakko. “Yeah? I mean, they’ll find out about us eventually…” She pointed out.

“Then why and go out and try? Basically what your asking me to do is go out into the company twirl around and say; ‘hey look it me! I support Warner Brothers, cuse I’m a cartoon from there!’ huh? Fat chance!” Yakko said as he turned away from his siblings.

Before Yakko could get any further away Dot pulled Yakko by the skin, and fur, and pulled him down so he could look straight into her eyes. “I mean; they’ll find out about us weather we like it or not…” She said through her gritted teeth.

Yakko saw the fire in Dot’s eyes, the passion he saw was plain and obvious; she wanted cartoon justice and she wanted it at that very moment. Yakko couldn’t blame her; she was a Toon, and she loved both Toons and people. She mostly liked people because they loved her so much, and liked Toons because she was one herself. As Yakko thought about it more Dot was the small, fierce, independent, and righteous girl she had always dreamed to be.

He smiled softly at her and held her hands that apprehended his loose skin, with the touch of Yakko’s hands Dot let go instantly. “Alright. Tell ya what. We’ll talk to the big boss Mr. Plotz and see if he can back us up.” Yakko said with a soft tone.

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Inside the main office there was silence, for all that where half or completely interested made their way to the chairman of the boards office and followed the Warner siblings; who’ve noticed they haven’t been out in quite some time. The building was increasingly taller and was decorated with all sorts of blue colors, and the constant theme of the Warner Brothers Logo everywhere they turned. It had been eleven years since the Warners have last been seen, and everyone wanted to take a look at the three Toons. Most caught only a glimpse of them for everyone stopped in their tracks and made way for the chaotic siblings, pushing everyone into the walls of the offices, and in the corners of the elevators.

Once the Warners saw people huddled inside the elevators Yakko looked to his siblings. “Let’s take the stairs instead…” He told them as they nodded back.

Once the Warners made it to the top of every level they saw thousands of heads peering over the walls of their cubical and blinking at them with both curiosity and fear. Most where found later under the desks of some, and hiding behind the walls of their cubical praying they wouldn’t be found. The three had to keep themselves from laughing, holding their mouths, while they where taking a peek at some of the levels of the building. Once the employees where out of sight the Warners began to erupt in laughter each time.

“Either there’s been a lot of rumors, or they’re all plain obsessed!” Wakko laughed.

It took them awhile, not that they didn’t enjoy the journey, but they eventually made it to the top of the building.

Once inside the Chairman Of The Board’s office many employees crowded around the door, trying to listen. After a few moments they heard an eruption of laughter. The blast of laughter was so loud once the Warners opened the door a couple of workers flew back from the blast. Once they made their way out Yakko slammed the door in anger.

Yakko couldn’t help but yell in frustration. “No one! I mean no one! Ever listens to us…” He twitched.

Yakko cooled down for a few moments, huffing hard in frustration. Dot tapped Yakko’s bobbing shoulder and smiled softly. “But I know someone who does…” She said.

After a few silent moments inside the psychiatry building of the Warner Brothers Studio a tall blonde who was incredibly beautiful and had a nurse outfit began to type on her computer again. She, Hello Nurse, maintained the front office desk incase someone where to come in to see the psychiatric specialist who had worked there for years known as “Scratchy” or formally Dr. ScratchanSniff. And boy did someone come into the office, three people to be exact, and before the Nurse could look up to the door two pounced into her arms and gave a holler.

It was, in fact, the Warner Brothers who held onto her tightly. “Helloooo NURSE!” They shouted.

Dot walked up to the sight and shook her head as she quoted a very familiar phrase. “Boys… go fig…” She said.

“What iz all of ze racket for…” A voice started.

The Warners gave a look and found in the doorway that entered the main entrance hall was Dr. ScratchanSniff himself. He wore a white doctors coat and purple pants underneath with his regular black shoes, and his head as bald as ever. He gave a small ‘eep’ and tried to hide inside the office again, but once the Warners saw the familiar face they ran to hold open the door.

The doctor took a huge leap back and shook madly. “Vat is yous doing here?” he asked.

The three Warners made their way inside the room, speaking loudly to the doctor. “Vat is yous doin’ lookin’ the same Scratchy?” Yakko smiled.

Wakko looked at Dr. ScratchanSniff up and down while smiling widely and noticed he stopped shaking as the three spoke to him. “You look like you haven’t changed in years!” Wakko exclaimed.

Dot came to Wakko’s side and looked at the doctor as if she was observing an art piece in a gallery. “Looks like he’s doin pretty good for a p-sychiatrist…” Dot commented.

Dr. ScratchanSniff looked lamely at Dot. “You’re ze ones to talk…” The Doctor said lamely.

“Look, Scratchy… well, you should already know why we came. What do we usually come in here for?” Yakko asked.

“Yous usually come in here for an appointment, or just to bug me…” The doctor replied.

Yakko looked widely at Dr. Scratchansniff and then pondered his attention upward. “Aaah, actually, that was nowhere near what I was going for…” He said.

Wakko grabbed Dr. Scratchansniff and placed him more to the right of Yakko. “How about here?” He asked.

Yakko looked at his brother and closed one of his eyes and observed the stance with the other one. “Aaah, a lil more to the left…” He said as he placed a hand on his chin.

Wakko moved to the left with the Doctor in his hands. Yakko tilted his head to the left, and held his hands in front of his face, to form a frame with his fingers. “Maybe a lil more to the right…” He said.

This time Wakko moved slowly with the already irritated Doctor as Yakko spoke. “A lil more, almost, keep on goin’, and perfect!” Yakko exclaimed. He pointed a finger at the doctor as soon as his feet touched the ground again. “That’s what I was goin’ for…” Yakko smiled.

The Doctor forcefully jerked his arms out of Wakko’s grasp and glared at Yakko. “Get to ze point Yakko!” He exclaimed.

Though Yakko was stunned just a bit by the outburst, he kept his calm as he walked up to Dr. Scratchansniff and held an arm around him, leaning his body into his, too close for anyone’s comfort. Yakko pinched his index finger and thumb to demonstrate as he spoke. “We just need a wincey bit of information about The Kids Network…” He started.

“Oh no.” The doctor said. He grabbed Yakko’s arm and pulled himself out of the grasp. “You see many times I’ve visited with Toons…” He started.

The Warners instantly lit up. “Whoa!”

“You’re working with Toons now?”

“That’s neat!”

The Doctor gave them all a lame look. “I’ve worked wit shousands und shousands of Toons, und unlike you zey are more sensible.” Otto said.

Yakko stood up confidently and smiled broadly. “I take that as a compliment…”

The Doctor shook his head in disappointment. “Unyvay, zey have all been complaining und have been fowl tempered about ze whole subject, und I’m not taking any part in zis…” He said.

Yakko looked to Dot with a cocked eyebrow, she shrugged, and he looked back at the doctor. “The least you can do is tell us where it is…” Yakko said.

The doctor stared for a moment at Yakko and then laughed, but this time Yakko stood firm in front of the doctor, waiting until the laughter ended. Once he was done laughing he cleared his throat.

“Done?” Yakko asked.

“Are you serious Yakko?” He asked.

“About as serious as Wakko and his food…” Yakko said confidently.

Dr. Scratchansniff pondered about it for a moment and turned to his desk. “Zat is serious. The company izn’t zat far avay, pretty much dovn ze street…” The Doctor said. He reached for a drawer and got out his car keys and waved them in front of the three.

Moments later The Warners where found in front of the building of Kids Network. They waved as Dr. Scratchansniff drove off and turned to the tall black building. Yakko led the way as the three walked up to the structure. They’re small feet carried them across the cement and walked up to the big glass doors that opened for them as they parted to the sides, something the siblings never really saw before. Yakko and Dot walked on, but Wakko noticed the little sensor above him and smiled. He moved out of the way and the doors shut, he moved back to the regular spot and the doors opened. It didn’t take long for his oldest to grab him by the collar and drag him inside though.

Inside was mix glossy granite for the flooring and the Kid’s Network logo was placed upon a wall behind a tall desk in the middle of the room, where a lady stood monitoring a computer. Yakko noticed the desk was a bit taller than him, so much that only his small droopy ears made it above the counter.

“And I thought I was pretty tall too…” he pouted to his siblings.

The lady behind the desk leaned over both the desk and her thick lenses of her glasses, which wrapped around her black, pulled back, hair. Yakko grabbed the counter edge and hoisted himself up, while his siblings took his feet and placed them on their shoulders, which was a very uneven elevation, but worked just right for Yakko. Yakko leaned his chin on his right hand, the side where Dot’s shoulder was, and smiled.

“…Hello… Do you have an appointment?” The lady asked.

Yakko gave his famous line starter to the lady. “Aaah… not really. I can tell you’re the kind of woman who’s extremely intelligent…” He smiled.

The woman slumped her shoulders and looked plainly at Yakko. “You can’t come inside unless you have…” She started.

“An appointment, yeah, kinda guessed. We’re here to see…” Yakko started.

Wakko struggled, trying to keep his balance as his oldest bent towards him. “Jerald Holland…” Wakko said through his teeth.

Yakko picked up the first name and repeated it. “Jerald. Know the guy?” He asked.

The lady looked curiously at Yakko. “Yes. He’s one of our animator directors…” She said.

Yakko smiled as if he remembered an old memory. “Yeah! Him. We’re good pals and…” He started.

The lady narrowed her eyes at Yakko. “You want to waltz through and see if he’s here?”

Yakko looked slyly at the woman. “Are you a fortuneteller?” He asked.

“Of course not. But I’ve seen your kind…” She said as she reached for a red button to her side.

Before Yakko was going to ask another question he held his breath and saw the woman move to the button. “Before you press that big red shiny button why not reconsider…” Yakko started.

“You getting in here to walk passed here and make it up to Bond’s office? Fat chance. Who’re you working for? Cartoon Network?”

Yakko looked blankly at the woman. “No.” He replied.

“Ah, it’s another Disney spy isn’t it?” She nodded.

Yakko shook his head. “Sorry. Look, all we want to do is…” He started.

“Yakko!” A voice exclaimed.

Yakko froze in mid speech at the ring of the voice. Though the pitch was a tad older sounding Yakko noticed it right away. He and his siblings looked to the left and found a slightly taller Skippy Squirrel. His brown fur was slightly greyer, and the fact that the fur was tucked away inside a small tuxedo, but his face, smile, and tail was still the same.

The Warners all spoke at the same time. “Skippy?” They asked. Skippy was one of the very few cartoons that actually visited with the Warners, being the voices of the introduction to his aunt’s own cartoon, he found them entertaining to hang around.

“The one and only! What’re you doing here? Did they recruit you too?” Skippy smiled.

Yakko got down off of Dot and Wakko and looked at Skippy, to find he was as tall as Wakko, versus before when Skippy was always a bit shorter than Dot. “You’ve… grown…” Yakko said slowly, unsure of what to think.

“And you haven’t. It’s okay Dana, they’re with me.” Skippy said as he looked to the lady behind the counter. She huffed lightly and returned to the computer. Skippy gestured for the Warners to follow him and climb inside an elevator.

Once the silver elevator doors closed Skippy looked around and whispered to the Warners. “The reason I came here was because I was hopeful that someone from our company would come down here and see Bond, I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy for anyone to get through so I joined in the cast for a new cartoon their planning.”

“Cleaver.” Yakko smiled.

“Thanks.” Skippy smiled back.

Dot looked curiously at Skippy. “So who’s Bond?”

Wakko smiled at Skippy. “James Bond?” He asked.

“No. He’s the head honcho of the place. He’s the one behind all the knock-offs, and believe me; he’s not very good at creating characters, but he’s somehow successful in everything he attempts.” Skippy explained.

Yakko looked up and down at Skippy slowly. “May I ask… how you changed?” He said slowly.

Skippy looked to the floor thoughtfully, then sadly at Yakko. “…Another time Yakko. You need to get talking to this lunatic right away.” He said.

“Great! He’s a lunatic!” Dot exclaimed.

Skippy looked lamely at Dot. “I know…” He said.

Yakko grasped Skippy and smiled. “No, really, it’s great! They’re our specialty…” Yakko smirked.

Just then the bell rang and they where at the top floor, Skippy looked to the three worryingly. “This as far as I go. If ya need help just give an old fashioned holler, Warner style. Also. I have a friend who’ll pop up around the fifth floor sometime ‘round five.”

Dot looked at the invisible camera. “How ironic…” She said.

“She’ll get you guys outta here if you need help out.”

Wakko looked at Skippy with a wide smile. “She?” Wakko asked.

Yakko patted Skippy on the back. “Thanks Skippy.”

Skippy smiled at Yakko. “No problem.” With that the Warners took a step outside the elevator and the doors closed. The three looked down the hallway to the right and saw two big doors at the very far end.

“Let’s go sibs…” Yakko said.

Yakko led as they walked to the doors, once his glove touched one of the handles he leaned into his siblings and smirked. “Now remember sibs. Be polite, be serious, be silly if needed, and…”

“Let you do all the talking…” the two youngest said at the same time, quite lamely.

Yakko smiled and turned to the doors and gripped the handles tighter, unsure how he was to approach this. As his promise ringed through his head his smile faded.

“I promise to always be there for you…”

Yakko stood taller, knowing he couldn’t back down now; he had to do it, even if he didn’t know how. At that moment in time, without realizing it, Yakko had overcome his fear of change as he pushed open the wooden doors of that office. He had accepted change with open arms, and was there in that moment of time for his sister. In fact, it was her he had to thank; she had convinced him to be where he was. He smiled once again as he remembered her promise.

“I promise to help you, every single step of the way…”

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