Chapter 7 - Unhealthy Uselessness

Disclaimer: I don’t own the show Animaniacs, and I don’t own anything Warner Brothers.

Chapter Seven; Unhealthy Uselessness

Daisy waited inside the elevator, tapping her foot as she saw the numbers increase on the top of the silver elevator doors. She was made only a week ago and she had already had twenty long meeting sessions with Alan, both her boss and creator. By the looks of her expression anyone could tell she was fed up with him. Once the doors opened she found a dozen of employees gathered around, not walking inside, but just to get a glance at her. Daisy sighed and rolled her eyes and placed her white-gloved hands inside her invisible pockets as she walked out, with every head in the hallway turned in her direction. She threw open the wooden doors and stomped inside the room, watching the big leather chair turn around, with Alan sitting in it.

The Toon walked up to the desk and sat in one of the silver chairs. “What is it this time Dad?” Daisy asked lamely, as she crossed both her legs, and arms.

Alan immediately narrowed his look at Daisy. “I wish you would stop calling me that. Please, while we’re at the office, at least call me Alan…” He said.

Daisy rolled her eyes, always wondering why he didn’t like the title. “Alright, boss, tell me what the occasion could possibly be to call me, personally, to come up here.” She said.

He sat back in his chair with one hand on his desk as he gazed at his creation. Daisy was perfect in every way, but the Toon didn’t come out the way he planned, it was someone else’s idea to have her female, while Alan wanted a male character. He didn’t really want anything to do with her after the broadcast of The Late Show but Daisy fought her way and he gave her a staring role for a cartoon. Alan hadn’t heard anything from the Warners since they had met, and it left him very worried, the very reason he wanted to see Daisy.

“I want to warn you of something…” Alan began, noticing she just took out a nail filer.

“And what’s that? Justin and Britney are back together?” Daisy asked, filing her gloves.

Alan looked widely at Daisy. “They are? No, of course not. I want to warn you of the Warner Brothers company.” Alan said, shifting his eyes back and forth from Daisy’s face to the nail filer.

Daisy stopped filing her fingers and rolled her eyes. “Not this again, here! Let me save you the trouble…” Daisy said, and then cleared her throat before speaking again. “You want to become richer than W.B. so you can buy them out! Am I right? Or am I right?” She asked, going back to filing her gloves.

“Though your memory does seem to impress me. You’re wrong… Would you stop filing your gloves! For Pete’s sake you don’t even have nails!” Alan exclaimed. Immediately Daisy stopped and raised an eyebrow at Bond. He sighed calmly as she put the filer in her mallet space. “I came to warn you about three Warner Brother characters; Yakko, Wakko, and Dot.” Alan said.

Daisy’s eyes lit up and her smile widened as she laughed, “What kind of names are those?” She asked.

“This is serious Daisy…” Alan reminded.

Putting her hands on the edge of her chair casually, she chuckled. “Alright, alright. So what about them?” She asked.

“They look exactly like you…” Alan said.

Unsure of what to say, Daisy only stared at Alan. “Wha?” She asked.

Calmly, Alan got up and walked to a TV that was placed by his desk and pressed the power. Right before Daisy’s eyes was a black and white security camera snap shot of the three Warners sitting in front of Bonds desk. Though the scenery and clothes in the picture where grey scale the Warners noses appeared red. Daisy slowly got up and walked over to the TV and searched the narrowed expressions of the three. What was also peculiar about the snap shot was that there was no date on the edge or anything, but Daisy didn’t notice. Suddenly the video began to play, it started over when the Siblings entered the room and introduced themselves. Daisy carefully heard their distinct voices as they each spoke. They introduced themselves in the same fashion as they did a week ago and sat down in the same position she had first seen them in and the screen froze. “That’s it Daisy, observe these three, for all three are your enemies.” Alan said.

Ripping her eyes from the screen she looked at Alan with only more confusion. “Enemies?” She asked curiously.

Alan nodded at Daisy. “They where made fairly recently, and they where informed incorrectly that, you where the knock off of them…” He said.

She was in disbelief; she could only say one word. “What?” Daisy exclaimed fiercely.

Alan decided to lean on the TV. “It’s true, and I’m counting on you to do everything in your power to bring them to me.” He said.

Crossing her arms, Daisy wondered if she should go any further. “What happens if I don’t?” She asked, obviously not liking this situation.

Raising his eyebrows and his shoulders all at once Alan spoke. “Then Warner Brothers will get their way and have a cartoon with them in it, surely to knock yours off the schedule.” He told her.

Her eyes watched as Alan turned the TV off and sat back down on his chair. “How long do I have? And how am I supposed to catch them?” Daisy asked.

His hands began to move some documents around on his desk, and fiddle with some pens, trying to keep himself occupied, Alan was growing bored of the conversation. “You have until the end of the first season of the cartoon, preferably before the show at the Pantages Theatre…” He said calmly.

“What?” Daisy asked once again loudly.

Shortly after a half-hearted wave to Daisy, Alan got up and spoke. “Ah it’s in the memo for tomorrow, anyway, how am I supposed to know how to catch them? You’ll most likely figure it out on your own once you get there…” He said as he shut off his narrow black desk light.

Now Daisy was out of her seat also, watching Alan’s every move. He walked around the desk, and Daisy followed Alan as he walked away to the doors, waving her arms as she spoke. “Whaddya mean ‘once you get there’?” She asked.

“Ya never know until ya get there…” Alan began to sing.

“OH, ha, ha, very funny Alan…” Daisy narrowed, stopping in her tracks and folding her arms in front of her.

Alan grabbed his long black coat and wrapped it around himself. “Look, all I’m saying is that they’re unpredictable, they’re only insane miss-haps…” Alan started.

“HA! ‘Only’…” Daisy half yelled and half laughed.

With one of his hands on one of the door handles, Alan looked back at Daisy. “Just, stay in your room we made you and hopefully nothing will happen okay?” He said.

Daisy looked at Alan with a horrified look. “Hopefully? You mean…?” She started.

Alan rolled his eyes, how dense can a Toon be? “Truthfully; yes, they’ve broken in before, but don’t let it weigh you down. If you need anything call.” He said as he swung the door open for her. Though Daisy’s body walked out, she did not take her eyes off of Alan. “But…” She started. Alan walked outside and shut the door, slipped a key inside the door, and locked it. “If something does happen there’s a button outside your room…” He said as he slipped the key into his pocket.

The Toon rolled her eyes upward and placed both hands on her hips. “That calls security, I know, they still haven’t bothered to put it inside yet? I told Phil that I…” Daisy started.

Suddenly Alan pointed a finger at Daisy’s red nose. “Don’t you dare complain to me about it.” He told her. “I’m tired of it.” He said as he turned down the hallway. Daisy looked after him and began to walk right behind him. “But…” She began.

Alan pressed the button on the wall next to the elevator doors. “I said!” He roared. The elevator doors then opened and he went inside, turned and faced Daisy with a grimacing scowl. “I don’t want to hear it…” He spat. The doors then shut and separated Daisy and Alan’s view of one another.

After awhile Daisy began to feel the coldness coming from the small crack of the doors, the space that was empty, and by now probably on the fourth floor. Daisy felt like she was a little orphan stray animal that was left out in the rain, she had a lot to think about, and yet no one was there to comfort her, she slowly turned away from the elevator doors and walked down the hallway. There was no emotion that could’ve shown, or described how happy she was to find someone who shared her appearance, and yet, how horrified she was to discover the hatred the three had for her. Daisy looked up at her door that was shaped like all the rest, but had letters on the window that said; Daisy. She sighed and opened the door to find her darkened room, she turned on the light and looked to the floor and closed the door behind her. The floor was decorated with a pink carpet, and some loose items including some underwear, makeup items from running out the door when she was late for an interview, and pillows. Even some pillows with bite marks in them…

Wait…

To Daisy’s knowledge she never ate her pillows.

“Oh, I thought Skippy’s lines where bad but OH look at this!” A high voice exclaimed.

Daisy immediately looked up to her white dresser that had a gigantic mirror and all of her makeup and her official chair that printed Daisy on the back, to find the chair was occupied with a body, that wasn’t hers. She gasped and found the oldest of the Warner siblings she had seen in her chair, looking inside her script.

In pure disappointment, Yakko shook his head at the papers he held. “Cartoons these days aren’t what they used to be…” He commented with a low look to the script.

She blinked at her dresser once more to find Wakko sitting on top of it looking at the script upside down. “What did you expect?” The younger brother asked.

The shock Daisy felt was consumed with full utter pure fire-blazed rage. “Get out of my room!!” She roared.

Gaining somewhat of their attention, Wakko and Yakko turned their heads to find Daisy, and then turned back to the script, as if they weren’t interested. “Well I was hoping there would be some action, but this is all girly stuff!” Yakko said, ignoring Daisy.

Daisy stomped up and looked fiercely at Yakko and snatched the script out of his hands. “Hey!” Wakko exclaimed as he sat up right. “Get out of here before I call security…” Daisy growled lowly.

Calmly, Yakko only smiled at Daisy, and lifted his legs on her dresser, leaning back in the chair with his hands over his head, crossing his ankles together. “Oh really?” Yakko said.

“Really…” Daisy said as she threw down her script onto her dresser, next to Yakko’s feet.

“Oh! You mean those two hunks? I hope they’ll like my new look…” A voice exclaimed.

Making a full 90 degrees, Daisy found Dot on top of her pink velvet blanket covered bed. She also found Dot in a lean pose with a huge pink bow tying her ears like Daisy’s and saw she had thick lipstick and eye shadow on. Daisy practically shrieked at the site. She clasped her hands over her mouth once she saw Dot’s eyes narrow. Daisy blinked for a while then eyed Yakko narrowly. “I don’t think I need to ask, but who are you?” She asked.

Wakko and Yakko gave Daisy wide smiles, and Yakko took his feet off of her dresser to speak. “We’re the Warner Brothers!” The brothers introduced.

“And the Warner Sister!” Dot piped up.

“I’m Yakko…”

“I’m Wakko…”

“And I’m Princess…”

Yakko looked at Dot horrifyingly, and placed his chin in his hand as his elbow leaned on Daisy’s dresser, giving a small sigh.

This time Dot decided to take her time as she said her long name. “Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bobesca The Third…” Dot said as she leaned a cold expression towards Yakko.

Daisy held her hands up to her shoulders and stuck out her tongue mockingly. “Dot?” She asked.

Dot gazed her attention away from her brother and to Daisy. “Yes?” She asked.

Confused, Daisy put her hands down and looked at Dot. “No, I mean, you where going to say ‘but you can call me Dot!’ am I right or am I right?” She asked.

As if he was in a classroom, Yakko raised his hand to ask a question. “Why can’t you be wrong?” He asked.

Daisy fluttered a hand on her chest while proudly holding up her chin. “Because my furry male rip-off self; I’m a girl! Studies show that girls are more intelligent--…” She started.

The oldest Warner stood to notice that Daisy was about half a head taller than him, but still spoke to her without any concern of the matter. This made Daisy snap out of her pride and look narrowly at Yakko. Yakko threw a thumb over his shoulder, and it pointed at Wakko. “Than Wakko maybe, but when it comes to the smarts I’m the head honcho…” He said. Wakko’s eyes widened, and then narrowed at Yakko’s comment. He reached behind his back and brought out a light brown bag and searched through it.

The edge of Daisy’s lip lifted to her eye and she furrowed her eyebrows. “Ha! Don’t make me bust a gut…” She laughed sarcastically.

Yakko jumped and held his gut as he looked at her with a worried expression. “Why would I? I’m pretty sure that’d be a horrible thing to see… or endure…” He commented.

The nasty expression turned into a shocked one, she had to think about it for a while. Suddenly Daisy instantly narrowed her look at Yakko; now realizing he was the type of person who takes everything literally. “Oh you gotta be kidding me…” She said lamely.

Yakko held up a finger and raised an eyebrow. “I’m sure if I was kidding I’d do something like this…” He started. Yakko knew that inside Wakko’s hand happened to be a pie that was meant for Yakko, but at the last second the eldest tilted his head to the side just ever-so slightly, and it smacked Daisy in the face. Daisy stood there for a moment as the pie slid off of her face, trying to comprehend what had just happened.

Shortly after wiped the pie residue off of her face. “That’s it!” Daisy erupted.

Yakko smiled calmly and spoke to her. “Define ‘it’…” He said.

A wide look over came Daisy’s face and her shoulders had slumped down. “I… I don’t know…” She admitted.

Yakko spoke rapidly as his two other siblings walked by Daisy. “And so you stop in the middle of your rage as you are confused by the question leading to the inevitable fact that you are distracted so that we can slowly slip away from your grasp.” Yakko took a deep breath and smiled once more as Wakko came out of the blue with a stick of dynamite. “Have a nice day.” Yakko said and disappeared.

Daisy smiled as she grasped the stick Wakko held and spoke. “Oh thank you I…” She started. With the three Warners in the corner and their ears covered the stick went off at that very moment. Once the smoke cleared they looked to find Daisy completely charred.

Suddenly Yakko was right beside Daisy, holding Wakko by his shoulders and smiling widely as she grew angrier by the second. “That’s just his way of saying… aaah, he likes you…” Yakko said.

Daisy erupted in a roar so loud it blew Wakko and Yakko away, backs to the wall, so intense that it blew off the makeup Dot had on and revealed her normal self again. Once she was done she stomped her way towards the three, but once they saw she was done they opened the door and ran out, Daisy right behind them. “Wait till I get my hands on you!!” Daisy yelled.

The three froze in mid air and Yakko smiled at the invisible camera as he spoke. “She so digs me…” Yakko smiled. The chase then resumed and then they noticed they missed the elevator, the only way they knew to get out of the place. They made a tire screeching halt in front of the big wooden doors and tried to open them, but couldn’t. They slowly turned around and saw that Daisy was no longer chasing them, but instead was right in front of them, looking the way she always did with the char gone. “I guess this would be a bad time to ask for a stroll in the park then huh?” Yakko smiled sheepishly.

“YOU BET IT… wait, you wanted to ask me out?” Daisy asked.

Yakko froze, he felt like a small child who was afraid to speak in a classroom, as he knew his siblings where staring straight at him. Yakko blushed a bit pink as he looked at Daisy, his crush, it could only be this moment for a chance at his dream date. He gulped hard, hoping that the word would change her mind about her rage towards both him and his family. “Y- yes…” Yakko said.

Giving a small lean smile, Daisy took one of Yakko’s cheeks, pinching it harder as she spoke. “That is very sweet of you but I regret to inform you that…” Daisy started with a sweet tone, but it suddenly changed into a ferocious one, “I’d never go out with you if you where the last person on earth!!” She yelled. Yakko forcefully took his cheek back and looked at her horrifyingly. Suddenly Daisy’s look of terror was replaced with a small and wide look. She held her stomach and held another hand over her mouth. She then started coughing, Yakko looked at Daisy, actually worried about her, Dot and Wakko looked at Daisy and planned to escape while they could. Daisy was soon found in a coughing fit, she lowered herself to the ground and just kept coughing. Dot and Wakko looked at her and then to the elevator and ran for it, Wakko touched the button but Dot looked back at Yakko to find him right by Daisy’s side.

“Yakko!” Dot yelled.

“I think something’s wrong with her!” Yakko yelled back.

“Forget about it Yakko!” Wakko exclaimed.

He… he felt like he couldn’t leave her there, helplessly coughing and no one else around. Dot knew that weather her oldest knew it or not the character had grown on him. She looked to Wakko as she spoke. “If he doesn’t his conscience won’t let him live and we’ll get blamed for it.” She said.

Wakko looked horrifyingly at Dot. “But she was about to kill us!!” He exclaimed.

“Yakko will if we don’t do something…” Dot reminded.

Though Wakko made a small whine he followed as Dot walked towards Yakko, and Daisy, who was still coughing. Daisy looked angrily at Yakko, as he was about to place his hands on her. “Don’t you…” she coughed, interrupting her sentence, “Dare touch me…” She growled, shortly after wards starting to cough again.

“But you need to lay down…” Yakko said.

“I don’t need any…” she coughed once more “Help from you!” She exclaimed.

She coughed a bit more, but then began to rise, Yakko was up with her ready to catch her, just incase she fell. For once Daisy stopped coughing, but then slowly wobbled around as if she were about to faint. Yakko put an arm around her and forced hers around his shoulder; she slowly slurred words at Yakko some words that he couldn’t quite make out, but he kept his grip as he walked Daisy back inside her room. Dot and Wakko slowly followed, confused as to why Yakko would still help a girl who rejected him, maybe it was because he still had a thing for her, or maybe it was out of sympathy, perhaps both. Another thing Dot noticed was the silence, Daisy stopped coughing as soon as Yakko touched her.

“Talk about having the magic touch…” Dot thought with a small smile.

Once they where next to the bed Yakko wrapped his left arm around her knees, with the sudden feeling Daisy gasped and started to pound her fists on Yakko, but he kept his grip, even though it wasn’t as strong, and placed her on her bed.

“You!” Daisy started, but then started to cough once more, even though it wasn’t as strong as the others where. Yakko released her and winced at his back, the place where Daisy had her punches aimed at, and then looked at her as she calmed down. “You, helped me…” Daisy said slowly.

“You need rest.” Yakko said as he walked away.

He slowly walked away; Dot and Wakko looked caringly at him. Yakko walked out of the room, his hands in his invisible pockets, his brother followed, his sister shut off the light and closed the door behind her. Yakko led the way as they walked to the elevator and walked inside. Once the doors closed Dot looked at Yakko, he sighed and looked at the silver doors, he could see only a figure of his body, but couldn’t see a clear picture of himself. He couldn’t help feel that was the impression he gave on Daisy; he started off on the wrong foot, fell over, and rolled down a hill only to be stopped by a thousand bushes of roses. Though Yakko knew this, he had no idea how to make it up to her. He was himself, and yet he was himself as if she was an ordinary jerk they deal with. He then thought of how dramatic she was over him touching her, maybe Daisy wasn’t really used to guys getting close to her. It would have also played the reason he was rejected. Yakko then came to a conclusion; Toons of the twenty first century are too serious.

Yakko kept looking at his blob-like reflection on the silver doors and sighed. “Toons aren’t what they used to be…” He said.

But suddenly, another thought occurred; what exactly made Daisy cough so hard? It might’ve been the exertion of chasing the Warners around, or perhaps from yelling at them. Whatever it was, Yakko knew deep down that it was no ordinary cough…

A.N: O_o ... *runs from angry mob*

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