Chapter 2 - Cross Words

A/N: People, seriously. If you put this on your alert list, please just leave a little review to boost my spirits.

My therapist says they’re good for me.

Warnings: Naruto has a potty-mouth.

Disclaimer: Let’s see…I’m writing an alternate universe fanfiction for the series…I’m only fourteen years of age…I still live with my folks…. I’m American (and proud!)…No, pretty sure I don’t own Naruto and company.

Background:

Every day after school, The Group gathers in the office of their current Guidance Counselor to help them deal with their messed up lives and messed up problems. Naruto, the self-proclaimed leader and worst behaved of the six outcasts, always takes the job of scaring away the counselor that was sent there to help them. But when Sasuke takes the position, the blond is given a run for his money.

-xxXXlXXxx-

M I S F I T

Cross Words


-xxXXlXXxx-

Naruto steps into the office he knows so well with his grin still in place.

“Take a seat, Uzumaki. Unless you plan to stand there all day?”

The blond tries to act unfazed as he sits in the chair placed for him. He knows how to counter these mind games.

Sasuke sits on the edge of his small mahogany desk. He thumbs through a manilla folder that’s thick with white paper.

Naruto sees his name printed on the front of it in big, bold letters and realizes that it’s his school records.

“I have to say…. You have a pretty interesting rap sheet here.”

Naruto feigns innocence and cocks his head to one side.

“Whatever do you mean, Uchiha-sensei?”

Sasuke stands up and lays the folder on top of the desk. Sparing it a final glance, he closes it and turns to the seemingly clueless student.

“Don’t test my patience, Uzumaki.”

Naruto grips the seat of the chair until his knuckles lose color. He schools his features into a smirk and locks his eyes onto the counselor’s indifferent face.

“That’s funny,” the blond says, “I was under the impression that Guidance Counselors had loads of patience.”

Sasuke ignores the statement and walks behind the desk. He lowers himself into his chair, his eyes never once leaving Naruto’s.

The troublemaker takes the lack of emotion for a small victory and continues speaking.

“So if you already had enough of me, maybe you aren’t cut out for this job. Maybe you don’t have what it takes, hm, Uchiha? I mean, all-“

“Truancy, tardiness,” Sasuke interrupts, counting off on his fingers, “disrespect toward teachers and authority figures, skipping classes, fights with other students, skipping more classes, failing courses, juvenile pranks… and that’s only about half of your usual offenses, am I right?”

Naruto’s smirk falls into an angry frown and he growls low in his throat.

Sasuke’s voice sounds bored as he continues.

“I didn’t even have to read your file. You fit the profile perfectly. Why don’t you try being a little less cliché and a little more unique, hm, Uzumaki?”

Naruto’s nails nearly puncture the seat cushion as they grip it relentlessly. The blond glares hatefully towards the raven.

“…Shut up.”

But his command falls to deaf ears.

“Now, we aren’t here to make enemies.” He pauses to pick up a clipboard and pen. “I know your games, Naruto. I invented them. So grow up and act your age if you want to survive The Group this year.”

The blond chuckles throatily before asking, “Who says you’ll be here all year? You’ll leave eventually, just like all the other ones.”

Sasuke’s eyes are focused on the clipboard in his hand. He scribbles things down on it every few seconds and it takes all of Naruto’s will power not to rip it out of his hands and break it over his knees.

“If you’re trying to intimidate me, Uzumaki, you’re going to have to try a lot harder.”

Naruto has had enough. He jumps out of his seat and slams his hands onto the desk. The fact that Sasuke doesn’t react in the slightest makes him all the more livid.

“Who the hell do you think you are?!”

“I thought we’ve already established that I’m your new Guidance Counselor.” He jots more onto his clipboard and Naruto’s fingers curl into fists on top of the desk.

“Stop being a wiseass! Stop acting like you know everything!”

The blond throws his pointer finger out, pointing dangerously close to Sasuke’s face.

“I’M SO SICK OF YOU GUYS! COMING HERE AND ACTING LIKE YOU CAN ‘FIX US’!”

“Is that really what you think?”

“YES!”

Naruto’s chest is heaving with the effort of his outburst. Sasuke’s eyes finally flicker up.

“Is that why you think it’s your job to get rid of all the counselors?”

“YES! And I’ll get rid of you, too! Dattebayo!”

“Is that a challenge, Uzumaki?” Sasuke asks, arching an eyebrow.

Naruto falls back into his chair with a huff. He crosses his arms and glares daggers at the raven.

“Well, it isn’t exactly an invitation to Cinderella’s Ball, asswipe.”

“Ah. Tell me something, Uzumaki… If you keep scaring everyone who wants to help you away, who’ll be there when you really need help?”

His baby-blue eyes become dark.

“I’m beyond help.”

“No one’s beyond help, you idiot.”

Naruto’s head snaps up at that, only to see that Sasuke is focused on his clipboard again.

The student smiles a soft, grim smile.

“This whole group is. That’s why they dump us here. They don’t want to deal with us. So, sorry Uchiha, but you got the short end of the stick.”

“Mm. Says you. And why do you think that?”

“Because we're outcasts! And outcasts don't get second chances, or golden opportunities or anything like that. Try all you want, but you can't fix us. Once a misfit, always a misfit.”

“That’s a bleak outlook.”

“Because you seem like such an optimist.”

“We aren’t here to talk about me.”

There’s a thick silence sfter that, where the only sound in the room is the dull scratching of pen on paper.

“What’s a four-letter word for dead-last?”

“…Nani?”

“A four-letter word for dead-last.”

“Why?”

Sasuke taps the pen on top of the clipboard. Naruto sputters.

“Have…have you been doing a crossword puzzle this whole time? Are you kidding me?”

“Why does that come as a surprise?”

The clipboard is now lying face up on the table. Naruto can clearly see the black and white puzzle.

“I just…I guess I kinda figured you were taking notes on me. You know, analyzing me?”

Sasuke snorts lightly and crosses his arms.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I enjoy taking notes about as much as you enjoy actually attending an entire class… And taking notes makes people nervous.”

“…Eh?”

Sasuke sighs. “It intimidates the people I talk to. They’re afraid they might say the wrong thing, or something along those lines.”

“Um…okay. I guess tha-“

“Dobe.”

“…Excuse me?!”

“A four-letter word for dead-last. Dobe.”

“ Right, I knew that.”

“I’m sure you did.” Sasuke looks up towards the clock and sighs again. He opens a desk drawer and pulls out a yellow slip of paper.

“Time to go back to class, Uzumaki. And I mean class, not the school parking lot. Here’s a hall pass, now get going. You better show up for Group after school as well.”

Naruto stands and accepts the pass in a daze. He pauses at the door and looks over his shoulder hesitantly.

“Er…hey, Uchiha.”

“Yes, Naruto?”

“How come you made it look like you were taking notes if it ‘intimidates’ people?”

There is a short moment of silence before Sasuke answers.

“Like I said earlier, you fit the profile. I knew it wouldn’t intimidate you.”

-xxXXlXXxx-

“Are you serious? A crossword puzzle?”

Kiba lets out another round of barking laughter.

“It’s not that funny, dog-breath! That guy is a bastard.”

“Yeah, a bastard who’ll probably give you a run for your money.”

Naruto lets his head fall back so that it hits the red-brown bricks. He slides down the outside school wall until he’s sitting next to his friend on the concrete.

The faculty parking lot stretches out before them.

Kiba should be in Study Hall this period.

Naruto should be in American History.

Kiba suddenly jumps and hits his friend’s arm none too gently. He points towards something across the parking lot.

Naruto rubs his sore upper arm as his eyes land on a sleek black car with tinted windows.

“So what? It’s a car, big deal.”

“Naruto, you douche. Look at the sign in front of the parking spot.”

Naruto squints and he reads the big black lettering on the sign his friend indicated.

‘Reserved For KHS Guidance Counselor’

His blue eyes widen before narrowing evilly. Kiba and him grin, their sharp canines glinting in the sunlight.

“Hey, Kiba. You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“But of course.”


-xxXXlXXxx-

“A lot of good those fancy tinted windows will do you know, buddy.”

Naruto and Kiba lean back to admire their work.

Punctured tires, shattered windows, scratched paint job, and profanities written in pink graffiti.

Naruto laughs hysterically and throws his arms out dramatically.

In a singsong voice he says, “It is my masterpiece!”

Kiba doubles over from his own barking laughter and clutches his stomach. They both stop abruptly when they hear approaching footsteps.

“Come on, in the bushes!” Naruto hisses, grabbing his friend’s shirt and jumping into the greenery.

The person approaching rounds the corner. He’s talking boredly into a cell phone.

“It’s him!”

“Shhh! Do you want him to see us, mutt?”

Both boys strain their ears to hear Sasuke’s conversation.

“Uneventful, for the most part.”

Naruto muffles his snickers with his hand.

Sasuke pauses in his talking, listening into his phone.

“I’m on my lunch break now,” he says, nearing the car.

Naruto lifts an eyebrow and turns to his friend, who shrugs in response.

You’d think he would of noticed by now…

“No, I can’t meet you there, I don’t have a…” he trails off and stops walking all together when he reaches the destroyed vehicle.

The hiding boys are near hysterics.

They eventually gape when the counselor continues walking- right past the car.

“Sorry. I said I couldn’t meet you there because I don’t have a car. I walk here… Yeah, it’s close enough…. Right, have fun. Bye.”

He flips the phone shut and slides it into the pocket of his jeans.

The raven-haired counselor stops when he reaches the part of the bushes that Naruto and Kiba hide in.

Without turning his head to look in their direction, he smirks.

“Better luck next time. See you two later.”

He lifts a hand in farewell as he walks away.

The two pranksters wait until he’s completely out of sight to jump out and run towards the car.

“Kuso,” Naruto groans, threading his fingers into his wild hair and tugging on it.

Kiba gapes at the once beautiful vehicle.

“Kiba, if this isn’t Uchiha’s car, then who’s-“

“Naruto, Kiba! What are you two doing out of… class… again… … …MY CAR!”

Both boys cringe at the voice and turn to face their doom.

Jiraiya stands a few feet away from them, his eyes wide. His mouth hangs open dumbly.

Naruto rubs the back of his neck and Kiba scratches the red tattoo on his cheek. Both boys have their eyes closed so tightly that it’s almost painful.

“A-ah! Hi, Ero-sensei! Um…this isn’t what it looks like…”

The white-haired man looks positively livid.

The students gulp in unison.

Destroying the car that belongs to a bastard Guidance Counselor is one thing.

Destroying the car that belongs to a Dean of Students- and getting caught red-handed- is another thing.

Naruto and Kiba wince as Jiraiya cracks his knuckles menacingly.

Another thing entirely.

-xxXXlXXxx-

Next Chapter…

(Naruto and Kiba receive their punishment and The Group begins their first meeting with their new Guidance Counselor)

“Naruto, m’boy, you’re almost as bad as that Uchiha brat was when he was your age… Almost.”

-xxXXlXXxx-

A/N: I know the preview was short. But c’mon, I gave away a rather golden nugget of information with that one.

Meh, I don’t like this chapter as much as I should.

REVIEW.

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