Chapter 2 - Oh Crap! A Cliche!!

EDIT: I had to go back and manually fix all the massacring that FAC did to the document. So, for anybody whose eyes bled reading it, I apologize, and this should be better.
Chapter Two: Rise of a Dummy
Master Fung was definitely not tickled to see Jack Spicer at the Xiaolin Temple again so soon. Even after hearing what had happened to the evil boy genius it took Omi 5 minutes of solid begging.
"I will make sure that Jack never gets near the Shen-Gong-Wu! I will watch him 42-7 if I must!! pllleeeeeeeeeeeeeassse??"
Great, thought Raimundo. Watching a comatose radish for a few days straight, totally worth it.
"Alright, Omi. We shall heal Jack here, but unless his wounds are serious he leaves as soon as he is healed. I know what you are trying to do--I'm sure we would all like Spicer on the side of good..."
*COUGH COUGH*
"...Thank you Raimundo... But it is foolish to believe a huge ocean lies just past a tiny stream of hope." (A.N.: God that sucked.)
"Master Fung?"
"Yes Raimundo?"
"Your figure of speech is making me need to use the bathroom."
Five days later...*pants zip*
For days and days Jack seemed completely gone. He never moved an inch, nor did he give any other signs of being alive besides having a pulse. According to Omi, the monks were to take shifts watching Jack so when he "went to" he would have no chance of stealing any Wu. On Raimundo's shift the boy turned just a little, the first stirrings of consciousness from him in days. Raimundo didn't notice, engaged as he was in...stuff. When Jack let out a groggy moan, THAT he noticed. Rai watched as, still half-unconscious, Jack raised himself off his bamboo healing mat and gave Rai a blank stare.
"Owchie... my everything."
"Yeah, that'll happen when you smash your head open in a canyon gorge."
"When I whatnow?"
Rai rolled his eyes at Jack's lame act. "Yyyep."
"Who are you?..." Jack sounded more like a little kid than ever before, and looked pretty scared of the tan cynical boy in the corner.
"All right then, let's start over. My name's Raimundo, what's yours?" Er, ouch.
For a while this managed to shut Jack up, and Rai assumed he had understood the question was rhetorical. But after a short silence, Jack said, "Er...I...don't know."
WHITESPACEWHITESPACEWHITESPACE
Kimiko missed Jack...she supposed. She wasn't very fond of him, but without him around to get on her nerves things just weren't the same, even at the temple where they didn't see him much anyway. Knowing Jack wouldn't be around to annoy the Wudai Warriors, going out for Shen-Gong-Wu seemed so boring all of a sudden. And even though she didn't much like the goth, she couldn't even stand the thought of him dead.
Dead...nobody could die here. The temple, the magic... it made life seem like a dream. That dream couldn't end, not for anyone...Jack couldn't be gone.
SLAM!!!!!!!!!!!
"OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWW!"
Yeah, she didn't want him dead, but a few more days in comatose wouldn't have been too bad.
Raimundo was dragging Jack by the ear--quite literally--right toward the Shen-Gong-Wu vault. One by one, the two went past the other monks. Clay, after a stunned silence, shook it off and followed the two, namely Raimundo.
"Rai, didn't Omi say..."
"Yes."
"And Jack is still..."
"Yep."
"So why are you..."
"'Cuz. He's not going to steal any Wu."
Clay looked down for a moment at Jack--no duh he wasn't going to steal any Wu. He probably wasn't even going to stand up after the fall and Raimundo freaking him out like that, at least for a day or two. But when Rai got like this, even the fact he was dragon of the Wind didn't make him any less persistent. Clay stood back a little to let them pass, and noticed Jack seemed different. Though still about as whiny as always, he seemed more jumpy at everything--overwhelmed at trying to recognize his surroundings and trying to decide whether this guy was going to just hurt him more. As it seemed more and more likely, Clay hoped he hadn't had his memory damaged...
"Mind Reader Conch!!! This might get messy..."
Raimundo, still clutching Jack's ear to keep him still, held the magic shell to his ear and heard a bit of white noise before hearing Jack's voice in the shell.
*Ear still hurts. Owie. Why is this guy so mad at me and why is he holding a shell? And why won't he tell me what my name is?* "OW!!!!!!!" This came from Jack when the Conch was chucked at his head in frustration.
MOREWHITESPACE!OMG!!IWANTASANDWICH.ORSOMENACHOS.NACHOSWOULDBEGOOD.
"So, um, Jack this is Omi, Kimiko, and Clay, and I'm Raimundo. By the way, your name's Jack." Omi bowed, to the surprise of the others, and elbowed them so they did the same. "Jack, I see you have been hurt."
"That person...Raimundo...he was yanking my ear!"
"I could see that," Omi said, casting a glare at Raimundo.
"All right, so I was a bit rough!"
"Rai, you were draggin' him by the ear he fell on."
"It didn't hurt so much..."
"HUH?" All four of the monks stared at Jack.
"It didn't... maybe I'm just used to it. And was I always so whiney?"
"You DON'T want me to answer that," Rai said, and he smirked, which Jack didn't get at all.

Okay, chapter done! Is it good? WHO CARES! I actually know how this is going to end, and I'm gonna FREAKIN FINISH IT if it takes me 1500 years! Er, so what do most fanfic authors do at this point?
Deadness(whispers): Cookies! Say something about cookies!!
Oh. Um... KWAYAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *throws death cookies that hit peoples eyes and kill them dead* Finito!!

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