Chapter 4 - Not Another Badly Written Jerry Springer Parody!
Submitted December 13, 2003 Updated May 27, 2004 Status Incomplete | It's all of your favorite anime and game men trapped in the same room for as long as the creator (that's me!) feels like it! How long will it take before they all kill each other? It won't take long, that's for sure!
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Anime/Manga |
Chapter 4 - Not Another Badly Written Jerry Springer Parody!
Chapter 4 - Not Another Badly Written Jerry Springer Parody!
Marth: And now! Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to our host with the most, Sephiroth Springer!
Everyone ‘cept Marth, Sephy, Yami, Kaiba, and Marik(audience): SEPHY, SEPHY!
Sephy: *walks on to the poorly made set which consists of a carelessly colored cardboard desk, a plastic cup with flimsy purple, paper flowers. In fact the only things that weren’t scribbled with crayon were the chairs in the middle of the set* Hello everyone! And welcome to the Sephiroth Springer Show. Tonight, our subject is I’m-Stuck-In-A-Room-With-My-Mortal-Enemy-Who’s-Insane-And-My-Rival-Turned-Only-Friend-In-The-World-Has-A-Strange-Fasination-With-Switch-Blades-And-Stealing-The-God-Cards-From-My-Mortal-Enemy-Who’s-Insane. We have some very errrrrm, interesting guests who all have their own disturbing little secrets to tell each other. So without further ado, let’s bring out our first guest. Everyone, please give a warm welcome to Yami Yugi!
Yami: *walks on the set, slightly blushing, and sits in the chair next to Sephy’s desk*
Sephy: So Yami, I understand that you have a slight problem with two people who live with you in this room.
Yami: Yes, I’m afraid I do. I mean, when I found out that I would be stuck in a room with Kaiba I wasn’t too upset because Kaiba and I are rivals and nothing more. But when Marik arrived, I knew that it would lead to trouble because Marik and I have had our fair share of errrrrm, problems I guess you could say.
Sephy: *excited* You and him were lovers and you cheated on him in the past, right?
Audience: *excited too* Sephy, Sephy!
Yami: O.o; W-WHAT?! No, of course not! Marik and I could never be lovers! (Audience: Awwwwwww man!) I’m straight but I’m not so sure about Marik. Why the heck would you ask that?
Sephy: Oh no reason, I just assumed that all talk shows involved affairs, cheating on mates and other junk like that.
Yami: Oh, right. Well anyway, Marik was trying to take over the world not too long ago and I stopped him and well, let’s just say we don’t see eye-to-eye that well.
Sephy: Well Yami, we have a little surprise for you. We have Marik in one of our soundproof booths in the closet and-
Marth: *runs over to Sephy and whispers* Um, the booths aren’t soundproof. They can hear everything you say from there. In fact, we don’t even have booths, we just shoved Marik and Kaiba in the closet until they were needed.
Sephy: Oh, now you tell me! *Sighs* Oh well, maybe this will prove to be quite interesting. Anyway, as I was saying, we have Marik locked in the closet and your going to see him, talk to him, yell at him, and maybe even possibly kill each other or ruin your relationship, or-
Yami: All right, first of all, I know that Marik is in the closet and second, WE…ARE…NOT…LOVERS!!! How many times do I have to say that I am a straight, single male and loving it and Marik is about as straight as a warped board and is-
Sephy: *pulls out his sword and points it at Yami* First of all, NEVER interrupt me and second, NEVER correct me! Understand? *Sighs in frustration* I swear, I’m going to KILL the next fool who interru-
Marik: *bursts out of the closet (interrupting Sephy)* I HEARD THAT PHARAOH! HOW DARE YOU (BEEP) ASSUME THAT I’M (BEEP) GAY! I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I’M STRAIGHT AS-eep! *
Sephy: *grabs Marik by the collar of is shirt* You do realize that if you were not a part of this show that you would be right now?
Marik: *squeaky voice* Yes!
Sephy: Good. Now Marik tell us. Why are you so evil?
Yami: I’ll tell you why! He’s a (BEEP) (BEEP)
Audience: *gasp* Sephy, Sephy!
Marik: (BEEP) (BEEP) (BEEP)
Sephy: Hey, hey! Let’s save the fighting for later all right? Now, please answer the question Marik, why are you so evil that you drive Yami Yugi up the wall?
Marik: Well, it’s quite simple actually. I just want to follow in the footsteps of my hero *puts on a bald skin wig and puts his pinkie near his mouth* Dr. Evil!
Yami: You would you (BEEP)
Marik: SHUT UP YOU! YOU THINK YOU’RE SO TOUGH BECAUSE YOU’VE BEATEN ME AT BATTLE CITY BUT AT LEAST I HAVE A SECRET HIDDEN BASE ON THE COAST OF IRELAND NEAR THE ANCIENT CITY OF THE RABID LUCKY CHARMS LEPRECHUANS WHERE I AM PLANNING YOUR DEMISE AT THIS VERY MOMENT! AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME BECAUSE IT’S A SECRET BASE WHICH MEANS YOU’LL NEVER FIND IT! *psycho laughter*
Yami: Hmmmmm. Let’s see, you’re secret base wouldn’t happened to be located on the coast of Ireland near the Ancient City of the Rabid Lucky Charms Leprechauns where you are planning my demise at this very moment now would it?
Marik: (BEEP) HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?
Yami: Just guessed. ^_^
Marik: (BEEP)
Sephy: Yes they are insane aren’t they? Well, we’ll be back after these messages! So stay tuned!
Meanwhile…
Silver: *watching the whole thing on T.V* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man! This is some good stuff! But it’s still missing something. But what, I wonder? Hmmmmm, *looks down at the bowl of Lucky Charms that she’s conveniently eating at the moment* Oh, Oh, I know! CRAZY DRAGON!
CD: Yes Miss Silver?
Silver: Fetch me one of Marik’s rabid Lucky Charms leprechauns and have the kitsunes prepare the cloning/transformgifier machine!
CD: Aye, aye Miss! *flies off*
Silver: *chuckles* Oh man, they thought it was crazy before. Well, they’ve never seen what happens when I get involved! Oh wait a minute, they have! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Back to the Show…
Audience: Sephy, Sephy!
Sephy: And welcome back. Before the break, we brought out Marik who is Yami’s mortal enemy and Marik has just confessed that he wants to be like Dr. Evil and is currently the King of the Leprechauns!
Marik: I NEVER (BEEP) SAID ANYTHING ABOUT BEING THE (BEEP) KING OF THE (BEEP) LEPRECHAUNS!
Sephy: *Ignores Marik* Anyway, why don’t we move things along and just bring out our next guest. Everyone please welcome Seto Kaiba!
Kaiba: *walks out to the stage swearing and yelling at the audience until he finally sits down next to Marik who is sitting next to Yami who is sitting next to Sephy’s desk*
Sephy: Now Kaiba. Do you have any secrets you would like to share with Yami, Marik, and the world that could possibly ruin your life if told and then force you to change you name and move to Canada?
Kaiba: Yes Sephiroth, I do. I…am…*stands up and shouts* A WOMAN!!!
Audience: GASP!!!
Meanwhile…
Silver: I saw that one coming. It was so obvious!
********************************************************************************
Silver: Oh dear god what have I done? And believe it or not, it gets much worse. But I can't tell you now. You'll just have to keep reading to find out. Man, I love a good cliffhanger. MUWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Everyone ‘cept Marth, Sephy, Yami, Kaiba, and Marik(audience): SEPHY, SEPHY!
Sephy: *walks on to the poorly made set which consists of a carelessly colored cardboard desk, a plastic cup with flimsy purple, paper flowers. In fact the only things that weren’t scribbled with crayon were the chairs in the middle of the set* Hello everyone! And welcome to the Sephiroth Springer Show. Tonight, our subject is I’m-Stuck-In-A-Room-With-My-Mortal-Enemy-Who’s-Insane-And-My-Rival-Turned-Only-Friend-In-The-World-Has-A-Strange-Fasination-With-Switch-Blades-And-Stealing-The-God-Cards-From-My-Mortal-Enemy-Who’s-Insane. We have some very errrrrm, interesting guests who all have their own disturbing little secrets to tell each other. So without further ado, let’s bring out our first guest. Everyone, please give a warm welcome to Yami Yugi!
Yami: *walks on the set, slightly blushing, and sits in the chair next to Sephy’s desk*
Sephy: So Yami, I understand that you have a slight problem with two people who live with you in this room.
Yami: Yes, I’m afraid I do. I mean, when I found out that I would be stuck in a room with Kaiba I wasn’t too upset because Kaiba and I are rivals and nothing more. But when Marik arrived, I knew that it would lead to trouble because Marik and I have had our fair share of errrrrm, problems I guess you could say.
Sephy: *excited* You and him were lovers and you cheated on him in the past, right?
Audience: *excited too* Sephy, Sephy!
Yami: O.o; W-WHAT?! No, of course not! Marik and I could never be lovers! (Audience: Awwwwwww man!) I’m straight but I’m not so sure about Marik. Why the heck would you ask that?
Sephy: Oh no reason, I just assumed that all talk shows involved affairs, cheating on mates and other junk like that.
Yami: Oh, right. Well anyway, Marik was trying to take over the world not too long ago and I stopped him and well, let’s just say we don’t see eye-to-eye that well.
Sephy: Well Yami, we have a little surprise for you. We have Marik in one of our soundproof booths in the closet and-
Marth: *runs over to Sephy and whispers* Um, the booths aren’t soundproof. They can hear everything you say from there. In fact, we don’t even have booths, we just shoved Marik and Kaiba in the closet until they were needed.
Sephy: Oh, now you tell me! *Sighs* Oh well, maybe this will prove to be quite interesting. Anyway, as I was saying, we have Marik locked in the closet and your going to see him, talk to him, yell at him, and maybe even possibly kill each other or ruin your relationship, or-
Yami: All right, first of all, I know that Marik is in the closet and second, WE…ARE…NOT…LOVERS!!! How many times do I have to say that I am a straight, single male and loving it and Marik is about as straight as a warped board and is-
Sephy: *pulls out his sword and points it at Yami* First of all, NEVER interrupt me and second, NEVER correct me! Understand? *Sighs in frustration* I swear, I’m going to KILL the next fool who interru-
Marik: *bursts out of the closet (interrupting Sephy)* I HEARD THAT PHARAOH! HOW DARE YOU (BEEP) ASSUME THAT I’M (BEEP) GAY! I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I’M STRAIGHT AS-eep! *
Sephy: *grabs Marik by the collar of is shirt* You do realize that if you were not a part of this show that you would be right now?
Marik: *squeaky voice* Yes!
Sephy: Good. Now Marik tell us. Why are you so evil?
Yami: I’ll tell you why! He’s a (BEEP) (BEEP)
Audience: *gasp* Sephy, Sephy!
Marik: (BEEP) (BEEP) (BEEP)
Sephy: Hey, hey! Let’s save the fighting for later all right? Now, please answer the question Marik, why are you so evil that you drive Yami Yugi up the wall?
Marik: Well, it’s quite simple actually. I just want to follow in the footsteps of my hero *puts on a bald skin wig and puts his pinkie near his mouth* Dr. Evil!
Yami: You would you (BEEP)
Marik: SHUT UP YOU! YOU THINK YOU’RE SO TOUGH BECAUSE YOU’VE BEATEN ME AT BATTLE CITY BUT AT LEAST I HAVE A SECRET HIDDEN BASE ON THE COAST OF IRELAND NEAR THE ANCIENT CITY OF THE RABID LUCKY CHARMS LEPRECHUANS WHERE I AM PLANNING YOUR DEMISE AT THIS VERY MOMENT! AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME BECAUSE IT’S A SECRET BASE WHICH MEANS YOU’LL NEVER FIND IT! *psycho laughter*
Yami: Hmmmmm. Let’s see, you’re secret base wouldn’t happened to be located on the coast of Ireland near the Ancient City of the Rabid Lucky Charms Leprechauns where you are planning my demise at this very moment now would it?
Marik: (BEEP) HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?
Yami: Just guessed. ^_^
Marik: (BEEP)
Sephy: Yes they are insane aren’t they? Well, we’ll be back after these messages! So stay tuned!
Meanwhile…
Silver: *watching the whole thing on T.V* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man! This is some good stuff! But it’s still missing something. But what, I wonder? Hmmmmm, *looks down at the bowl of Lucky Charms that she’s conveniently eating at the moment* Oh, Oh, I know! CRAZY DRAGON!
CD: Yes Miss Silver?
Silver: Fetch me one of Marik’s rabid Lucky Charms leprechauns and have the kitsunes prepare the cloning/transformgifier machine!
CD: Aye, aye Miss! *flies off*
Silver: *chuckles* Oh man, they thought it was crazy before. Well, they’ve never seen what happens when I get involved! Oh wait a minute, they have! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Back to the Show…
Audience: Sephy, Sephy!
Sephy: And welcome back. Before the break, we brought out Marik who is Yami’s mortal enemy and Marik has just confessed that he wants to be like Dr. Evil and is currently the King of the Leprechauns!
Marik: I NEVER (BEEP) SAID ANYTHING ABOUT BEING THE (BEEP) KING OF THE (BEEP) LEPRECHAUNS!
Sephy: *Ignores Marik* Anyway, why don’t we move things along and just bring out our next guest. Everyone please welcome Seto Kaiba!
Kaiba: *walks out to the stage swearing and yelling at the audience until he finally sits down next to Marik who is sitting next to Yami who is sitting next to Sephy’s desk*
Sephy: Now Kaiba. Do you have any secrets you would like to share with Yami, Marik, and the world that could possibly ruin your life if told and then force you to change you name and move to Canada?
Kaiba: Yes Sephiroth, I do. I…am…*stands up and shouts* A WOMAN!!!
Audience: GASP!!!
Meanwhile…
Silver: I saw that one coming. It was so obvious!
********************************************************************************
Silver: Oh dear god what have I done? And believe it or not, it gets much worse. But I can't tell you now. You'll just have to keep reading to find out. Man, I love a good cliffhanger. MUWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Comments
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theGhostofInuYasha on September 10, 2005, 2:48:16 PM
FrenchSpeakingLightBulbz on June 8, 2004, 7:02:01 AM
O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!S-s-s-eto i-is a g-gir-girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Setos_Girl on December 17, 2003, 1:10:03 AM
Setos_Girl on
Yeah that works. Along as they get to do some fighting(and show off their powers). Bring in Karasu and your worst enemy.eclipsedmoongoddess482 on December 17, 2003, 12:27:38 AM
Wow, you really like it? I feel so loved! ^_^ Bringing in one of Hiei and Kurama's enemies is such a cool idea! The only person who I can really think to bring on is Karasu but I dunno, maybe him and my worst enemy can team up against our heros. What do you think? NEwayz G2G! Bye! Setos_Girl on December 17, 2003, 12:23:18 AM
Setos_Girl on
Great work. I don't think it is random at all. Don't forget please bring in one of Kurama's and Hiei's enemy/rival. Please. Thankyou and good night. ps. Good luck Seto.
*sits down on stool* THANATOS WHATS TAKING SO LONG WITH THAT DOOR?
T: I'm working as fast as I can! It would help if you got THESE FREAKING SQUIRRELS OFF MY BACK!
^_^ Sorry, but I can't! I have to look pretty for Yami! Get Mortis to do it.