Chapter 15 - The Training Begins (and Ends too!)

Silver: Hey peoples! I'm back and with the next part in this seemingly never-ending Clone Wars saga! Okay, before we get back to the story, I have to know; Do any of you guys think this Clone Wars...Thing is dragging on? I'm trying to end this as fast as I can but it seems like I'm never going to end it (don't worry, I WILL end it, it just seems like it's taking a long time to me.) So please, if you have an honest opinion about this saga, then lemme know. Should I end it A.S.A.P (it might seem a little rushed and not as funny just to let ya know but hey, at least we'd be done with the saga) or should I just type at my own pace 'cause whatever I'm doing is apparently working (it'll be funnier and have more stuff but it might take longer to end the Clone Wars...Thing.) Well, I think that I've just talked off your ears so now...on with the show!

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Later…

Silver: *Now wearing a black tank-top with camouflage pants and an army helmet* Okay troops! Our mission is clear and simple; To destroy the rabid mini Riku clones. And now, to discuss the plan, here’s Mommy and Daddy!

George and Hiei/Sephy Clones: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! ^_^

Sephy: *Shudders as he gets up from his chair and joins Hiei (who is currently wearing the same outfit as Silver)*

Hiei: All right! Your enemy is this! *Points his sword at a poorly drawn picture of a Riku clone (which was drawn by Hiei, by the way.)

Sephy: -_-; That’s your picture of the enemy? Where’s it’s face?

Hiei: It’s covered up in foam. *Points to the white puffy cloud-things that are supposedly foam* Now shut up about my drawing skills and listen! Now then, *Points to the drawing again* this is a Riku clone. *Marches up to the Hiei/Sephy clones (who are all lined up in neat little rows) and looks down* Can anyone demonstrate for me what we do to a Riku clone?
George: *Jumps up and down while waving his hands with the speed of a hummingbird* Oh, Oh! Pick me Daddy! I can show you!

Hiei: *Smirks* Okay then, George. Come here.

George: Okay Daddy! ^_^ *Runs up to Hiei and looks up excitedly* Where should I show you, Daddy?

Silver: *Pushes Hiei out of the way* I’ll take over from here hon! George, I want you to pretend, for a sec, that Mommy *points to Sephiroth* is a Riku clone. Understand?

Hiei: *Has a confused yet P.Oed look on his face for a sec but then looks at Sephiroth and smiles evilly*

George: Okay Auntie Silver! ^_^ *Walks over to Sephy, beaming*

Sephy: No, no, get away from me! *Backs up into the wall* Grrrr…*Pulls out his sword in a threatening way* Don’t make me have to use this!

George: *Stops with a scared look on his face, like he’s about to cry*

Hiei: Hey, HEY! *Uses his Jagan to freeze Sephy in place* NO ONE, threatens my kid, GOT IT?!

Silver: *Looks at Hiei, all impressed* Wow Hiei! You’ve really gotten the hang of this parenthood thing, haven’t you?

Hiei: *Looks down, blushing slightly* I-It’s not that! Sephiroth just annoys me to no end and nothing would make me happier than to see him get his butt kicked by a fighter less than 5 ft tall.

Silver: *Nods as she looks away and smiles* Riiiiiiiiight. Well, let’s see how George does.

Hiei: *Nods as he and Silver look over and Sephy and George*

George: *Looks up at Sephy* Sorry Mommy…*Kicks Sephy in the balls*

Sephy: OW! *Winces*

Hiei: *Cups his hands over his mouth and shouts* That was okay George but I can sense you holding back! You don’t have to hold back just because you’re attacking Mommy! Attack with all your might! It’s important that Auntie Silver and I get to see you at full force!

Silver: *Shouts* Yeah! And you don’t have to apologize either! Mommy is enjoying this! Right Mommy?

Sephy: *Opens his mouth to yell at Silver but Hiei uses his Jagan to move Sephiroth’s head up and down*

Hiei: See? She’s loving this! Now, please continue George.
George: Yes Daddy! ^_^ *Walks up to Silver and points to the cattle prod in her pocket* Can I borrow this?

Silver: Um…yeah sure. *Hands George the cattle prod*

George: Thanks Auntie Silver! ^_^ *Walks up to Hiei who is drinking a glass of water* Can I have some of that, Daddy?

Hiei: *Looks down at George as he drinks half of the glass* Sure kid. *Gives George the water*

George: Thanks Daddy! ^_^ *Walks back to Sephy with a focused look on his face*

Silver: O.O *Whispers to Hiei* You don’t think…

Hiei: *Whispers* I wouldn’t put it past him. After all, my genes are running through him.

Silver: *Nods and whispers* Ah.

George: *Takes the glass of water and splashes it on Sephy’s crotch, then he turns on the cattle prod* Heh, heh, heh…

Sephy: *Thinks* Oh no…

George: Hope you like this Mommy! ^_^ *Takes the cattle prod and shocks Sephy in the balls (which is intensified by a hundred times with the water)*

Sephy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *Balls catch on fire* HOLY SHOOT!!!

Hiei and Silver: *On the floor laughing their arses off*

George: *Shouts* Is this right Daddy?

Hiei: *Stops laughing for a sec and pants* That…was…perfect!

Silver: Hahahahahahaha…Whoo! Man! That was great!

Hiei: *Points to Sephy and his burning balls and laughs again* Now THIS is funny!

Sephy: SHUT THE *#~(* UP HIEI AND HELP ME PUT OUT THIS FIRE!!!

Silver: *Walks up to Sephy with a glass* Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep your pants on.

Sephy: GRRRRRRRRRR…IN A FEW MINUTES…THAT WILL BE VERY HARD TO DO SINCE MY PANTS WILL HAVE…BURNED OFF!!!

Silver: *Rolls her eyes as she splashes the liquid on Sephy’s crotch. Unfortunately, instead of putting the fire out, the fire gets A LOT bigger until it totally engulfs Sephy*

Sephy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! SIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLVEEEER!!!
Hiei: *Laughs as hard as he can as he snaps his fingers*

Sephy: *Stops burning to a crisp and falls to the ground twitching*

Hiei: *Laughing* HAHAHAHAHA! That was great! What did you pour on him, Silver?

Silver: *Looks in the glass and sniffs it* Oh man! *Looks at Hiei and points at the glass* This was a glass of gasoline!

Hiei: *Has a confused look as he scratches his head* Who would pour gasoline into a glass?

CD: *Flies in and smiles* Hey! Has anyone seen my glass of gasoline? A dragon’s gotta drink something!

Silver: *Hides the glass behind her back* Um…Nope! Haven’t seen it at all today! Right Hiei?

Hiei: Uh…right! But…*Grabs a stick and lights it on fire* you can have this Fire-On-A-Stick if you want!

CD: Awesome! *Takes the flaming stick from Hiei* My favorite! Thanks Hiei! ^_^ *Flies off to enjoy his treat*

Silver: All right! Now that we have got that all settled…George, you did great with torturing Mommy, ‘n all. But…that isn’t how you kill a Riku clone.

George: It isn’t? *Looks at Twitchy (A.K.A Sephy)* So I just burned Mommy for nothing?

Hiei: Oh I wouldn’t say it was completely pointless. *Bends down to George and puts his hand on George’s shoulder* It was definitely the first good laugh I’ve had in years!

George: Ohhhh…Well that’s good then. *Looks up at Silver* But, if that wasn’t the way to destroy a Riku clone, then what is?

Silver: Like this! ^_^ *Takes out a baseball bat and smacks Hiei upside the head with it*

Hiei: *Rubs his head, looking beyond P.Oed* SILVER!!! *Tries to hit her but Silver dodges him, causing Hiei to fall over*

Silver: *Sits on top of Hiei* You see, the only way to kill a Riku clone is to whack it over the head as hard as you can.

Hiei/Sephy clone: *Shouts* How come that’s the only way to kill them. I liked George’s way better!

Silver: Yeah, while George’s way is more fun, it wouldn’t work because the Riku clones are invulnerable everywhere EXCEPT the head. And that’s because the heads are only being held together with…this! *Takes out a pack of gum* Bubble gum. Not exactly the strongest glue for heads.

Hiei: MMMMMMFFFFFFF!!!

Silver: *Looks down at Hiei* What was that hon?

Hiei: *Sputters* I SAID THAT YOUR TAIL IS IN MY FACE!

Silver: Oh…*Blushes slightly as she gets up* Sorry. *Helps Hiei up*

Hiei: *Sounds a little annoyed* It’s all right…*Gets serious and looks at the Hiei/Sephy clones with a stern look* Do you all understand what you have to do?

George and other Hiei/Sephy clones: YES DADDY! *Each Hiei/Sephy clone arms themselves a baseball bat and salute as they march off to battle the rabid mini Riku clones*

Hiei and Silver: *Look really proud as they watch the clones but then realize something and shout* WAIT!!!

Hiei/Sephy clones and George: *Stop and turn to Silver and Hiei* What?

Hiei: *Feels a bit embarrassed for them* You’re…going…the wrong way…

Silver: *Points to the heating vent* They’re down here. Now go! Go and fight to the last clone standing!

Hiei: *Pumps a fist in the air* And remember; Fight bravely, honorably, and most importantly…FIGHT MERCILESSLY! TAKE NO PRISONERS!

Hiei/Sephy clones and George: YAAAAAAAY!!! NO PRISONERS! ^_^ *March down the heating vent, baseball bats in hand*

Silver: *Puts her arm around Hiei* Well, there they go. *Tears up* Seems like only yesterday that we were teaching them how to fight.

Hiei: *Looks at Silver* -_-;; Silver…

Silver: *Sniffles* Yeah hon?

Hiei: That…was…ten minutes ago. -_-;;;

Silver: Oh…Well you know what I mean!

Hiei: So what do we do now?

Silver: I dunno. You don’t suppose we could…*smirks and winks*

Hiei: *Smirks cutely* Yeah, I suppose I could…teach you some new tricks. *Winks*

Silver: Okay, but just don’t go too hard okay? That really hurt the first time. Don’t you believe in holding back?

Hiei: *Picks up Silver and smirks* No, I don’t. *Walks to Silver’s bedroom and closes the door with the Jagan*

Door: *Some movement can be heard from inside and it gets all steamy on the floor and then Silver and Hiei moaning can be heard*

Silver: Oh man! That was great! But I think I definitely learned something from that?

Hiei: *Pants* And…what’s that? That I am truly the best you’ll ever find?

Silver: Yeah that and…it isn’t that smart to counter a fire attack with an ice attack.

Hiei: It was an okay counter. Steamed up the whole room though and us moaning in pain makes it seem like we’re doing something else in here.

Silver: Don’t tell me you’re turning all Sephiroth on me. Only perverts would think that we’re doing something like that!

Hiei: True. Well, are you up for another round or do you want to rest.

Silver: Rest. Definitely rest!

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Silver: Well, that's all I've typed today peeps! I bet your all waiting for me to hand out plushies but sadly...Link, Kurama, and Marth got really, REALLY bad blisters from sewing all those plushies so they weren't able to make the plushies for this chapter. Me and Hiei tried to make some Kurama and Kaiba plushies but unfourtunetly...*Holds up a badly sewn up Kurama plushie which looks like the head was stuffed with dynamite and exploded* Hiei and Mr. Sewing Needle did not get along and therefore...I had to stop the Plushie-Making before Hiei destroyed all of the Plushie-Making supplies. If you had seen what Hiei did to the Kaiba plushie, then you'd be agreeing with me 110%.

Hiei: *Walks in looking all P.Oed and points to a black smudge on the floor* THAT'S what happened to the @#@*~# Kaiba plushie, okay?! *Sits down next to Silver, crosses his arms and looks at Silver* When do I get to start the new show thing?

Silver: SHHHHHH! *Covers Hiei's mouth* Well, since Mr. Big-Mouth has almost given it away, I'll just tell you now; To make up for the lost plushies, I'm going to treat y'all to a little mini-show!

Hiei: *Bites Silver*

Silver: OW! *Rubs her hand* HIEI!

Hiei: *Licks the on his fangs* Get over it! *Ahem* This show is something everyone will love and it's called...

Hiei and Silver: RATE...THE...PAIN!!!

Silver: Yes peeps! It's based on the All-That skit, only it's A LOT more violent.

Hiei: Think Itchy and Scratchy on acid.

Silver: I guess you can call it that...I was thinking of All That on acid but I guess that'll do. Anyways, the show is very simple; Hiei, Kaiba, and Kurama are going to hurt Marik in a certain way and Marik will rate the painess of the, um...pain on a scale of 1 to 10. Simple, no?

Hiei: *Getting impaitent* Can we start now?

Silver: Yes Hiei. We can start. Just let me get Kurama, Kaiba and, Marik and we can...

Hiei: *Runs off and comes back with Kurama, Kaiba, and Marik in less than 3 seconds*

Silver:...begin? Well now that that's been taken care off...TAKE YOUR PLACES PEOPLE! WE GOT A MINI-SHOW TO DO!

Guys: *Run off to take their places*

5 minutes later...

Silver: *Runs on stage with a microphone* On a scale of 1 to 10 it's time to...RATE...THE...PAIN!!!

Everyone: *Claps and cheers loudly*

Kurama: *Points to Marik* This is Marik.

Silver: *Points to Hiei* This is Hiei.

Kurama: *Points to Hiei* This is Hiei with a nuclear mini-rocket.

Hiei: *Holds up the rocket and smiles evilly*

Silver: *Points to Hiei* This is Hiei sticking the nuclear mini-rocket in Marik's pants.

Marik: WHAT THE HECK?!

Kurama: *Points to Kaiba* And this is Kaiba.

Silver: *Points to Kaiba too* This is Kaiba with a glass of gasoline.

Kaiba: *Holds up the glass, looks at Marik, and snickers* Heh, heh, heh...

Kurama: *Points to Kaiba again* This is Kaiba pouring gasoline in Marik's pants.

Marik: WHAT THE?! I KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME-

Kurama: *Points to himself with one hand as he wraps Marik's mouth with a vine* And this is me keeping Marik quiet.

Silver: *Points to Hiei* And this is Hiei, lighing his finger on fire.

Kurama: *Points to Hiei* This is Hiei poking Marik's crotch.

Silver, Kurama, and Kaiba: *Cover their ears as Marik's pants explode with unrelenting force, sending Marik into oblivion*

Marik: *Can be heard as he explodes* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNEEEEEEE!!! *Echos* NINE! NINE! NIIIIINE!!!

Hiei: That's it?! Only a nine? That little jerk! He did that on purpose! That plan took me a whole week to think of and plan and he gives it just a NINE?!

Silver: *Walks up to an upset Hiei and wraps her arms around his shoulders* Aw! Don't worry Hiei!

Kurama: That was a brilliant plan. You should be proud of yourself!

Kaiba: Besides...Marik's the biggest pain-in-the-arse jerk you'll ever find!

Hiei: True. But...I WORKED FREAKIN' HARD DANG IT!

Silver: Aw! Poor guy! Listen, *whispers in his ear* Kurama and I know a few healing spells. We can bring back Marik all healthy and new and you can think of a new way to kill him! It'll give ya something to do this week!

Hiei: Hmmmmmmm...Okay! Thank you Silver! *Hugs Silver as he goes off to plot more ways to kill Marik*

Silver: *Blushing madly* Y-Your Welcome...?

Kaiba: O.O D-Did he just hug you?

Kurama: Apparently, Hiei loves a woman who knows how to hurt people.

Silver: I-It would seem so...*Smiles* Well, who wants cookies?

Kurama and Kaiba: We do!

Silver: *Pulls out a plate of various cookies for Kurama and Kaiba to snack on* Well peeps, I'm afraid that's it for the mini-show! But hey! Lemme know what you thought of this 'lil spoof of Rate...The...Pain. I'm considering making a seperate fic on it but if you guys would rather just have me stick to TRAPPED, then I don't mind! No point in putting in a fic that everyone's going to , right? Well, C-ya peeps!

Kurama: *Waves to everyone* Good-bye!

Kaiba: *Looks up from his Chocolate cookie and smirks* Until the next chapter...I bid you adieu.

Silver: Ohhhhh! Kaiba's speaking French! This I've gotta hear! ^_^

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