Chapter 2 - Of Cows and Creepy Old Men
Submitted April 12, 2007 Updated October 17, 2007 Status Complete | A remake of Jack and the Bean Stalk like never before! Imagine Jack being a nineteen-year-old punk rocker with a bad attitude. Now think of the giant being a gigantic alien queen... |
Chapter 2 - Of Cows and Creepy Old Men
Chapter 2 - Of Cows and Creepy Old Men
A few miles down the road, Jack was beginning to wonder if pudding cups were REALLY worth it...Cow Pie walked calmly at his side, lead by his leash. The sun beat down on Jack horribly. He could swear that he felt his own sweat washing out the gel in his mohawk. He was very miserable. Suddenly, he heard a voice...
"Hey! Hey, little boy!" it cried out. "Stop! Stop! I want to see your cow!"
"Hmm?" Jack wonder out loud to himself. Looking, he saw a crazy-looking old man approaching him from behind.
As the old man stood next to him, Jack noticed just how crazy the old man looked. He was dressed in a janitor's jumpsuit with several bandanas tied around his limbs. One eye was messed up, and he carried a small box under his arm.
"Ah, yes...Little boy, let me see your cow!" he said in a creepy voice.
"Dude, don't call me "little boy"..." Jack said, "I'm nineteen-freakin'-years-old."
"Oh-ho! So you're a big boy then!" said the old man, examining Cow Pie. "Yes..Yes! 'Tis a good cow! Are you selling?"
"Uh, yes...Actually, I am," Jack said. "We'll bargain. Whatcha willin' to pay?"
"Oh, something most wonderful!" the old man cackled. "Something grand! For you, big boy, I shall give you...THIS!"
He then presented to Jack the box that had been under his arm. Jack was automatically unimpressed. He responded, "What? Do I have the word "moron" tattooed onto my forehead? Why would I trade a cow for a lousy box?!"
"You idiot!" the old man hissed. "It is not the BOX I am trading, but what is INSIDE the box!"
"Oh..." Jack said, looking embarrassed. "Okay, well...what's inside the box then?"
"Oh, only the greatest thing known to man!" the old man said. "Something out of this world that is the only one of its kind!"
"Okay, I get it! It's totally awesome beyond belief!" Jack said. "What IS it though? I mean, could you open it up and let me see it?"
"Oh! You have DOUBTS, do you? That is not good..." the old man said, pulling the box away. "I cannot give such an amazing thing to someone in doubt. No, no...One must have faith to have something so powerful..."
"Whoa, whoa! Wait!" Jack protested. "It's not like that, man! I was just curious, that's all!"
"No, no. With great power comes great responsibility," the old man said, turning away. "You do not look like the responsible type..."
"I'll trade!" Jack yelled. "I'll trade! I'll trade! You can have the stupid cow! Just give me the dagged box!"
"Ah, yes! Very good!" the old man said. "You may have it! Hand me the leash and I'll hand you the box!"
Jack handed the old man Cow Pie's leash eagerly. The old man, in return, thrust the box into Jack's hands. He then yelled, "Now run! Run, boy! Run home with the box! Take care not to open it until you get there!"
Jack took off running with the box in his hands. The old man continued, "Keep it secret! Keep it safe! And may the force be with you!"
"Hey! Hey, little boy!" it cried out. "Stop! Stop! I want to see your cow!"
"Hmm?" Jack wonder out loud to himself. Looking, he saw a crazy-looking old man approaching him from behind.
As the old man stood next to him, Jack noticed just how crazy the old man looked. He was dressed in a janitor's jumpsuit with several bandanas tied around his limbs. One eye was messed up, and he carried a small box under his arm.
"Ah, yes...Little boy, let me see your cow!" he said in a creepy voice.
"Dude, don't call me "little boy"..." Jack said, "I'm nineteen-freakin'-years-old."
"Oh-ho! So you're a big boy then!" said the old man, examining Cow Pie. "Yes..Yes! 'Tis a good cow! Are you selling?"
"Uh, yes...Actually, I am," Jack said. "We'll bargain. Whatcha willin' to pay?"
"Oh, something most wonderful!" the old man cackled. "Something grand! For you, big boy, I shall give you...THIS!"
He then presented to Jack the box that had been under his arm. Jack was automatically unimpressed. He responded, "What? Do I have the word "moron" tattooed onto my forehead? Why would I trade a cow for a lousy box?!"
"You idiot!" the old man hissed. "It is not the BOX I am trading, but what is INSIDE the box!"
"Oh..." Jack said, looking embarrassed. "Okay, well...what's inside the box then?"
"Oh, only the greatest thing known to man!" the old man said. "Something out of this world that is the only one of its kind!"
"Okay, I get it! It's totally awesome beyond belief!" Jack said. "What IS it though? I mean, could you open it up and let me see it?"
"Oh! You have DOUBTS, do you? That is not good..." the old man said, pulling the box away. "I cannot give such an amazing thing to someone in doubt. No, no...One must have faith to have something so powerful..."
"Whoa, whoa! Wait!" Jack protested. "It's not like that, man! I was just curious, that's all!"
"No, no. With great power comes great responsibility," the old man said, turning away. "You do not look like the responsible type..."
"I'll trade!" Jack yelled. "I'll trade! I'll trade! You can have the stupid cow! Just give me the dagged box!"
"Ah, yes! Very good!" the old man said. "You may have it! Hand me the leash and I'll hand you the box!"
Jack handed the old man Cow Pie's leash eagerly. The old man, in return, thrust the box into Jack's hands. He then yelled, "Now run! Run, boy! Run home with the box! Take care not to open it until you get there!"
Jack took off running with the box in his hands. The old man continued, "Keep it secret! Keep it safe! And may the force be with you!"
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