Chapter 1 - Ditto

Welcome to the first story written for The Supernaturalist on this site! I just got done re-reading The Supernaturalist over again, and really wanted to write something about it…To contain myself untin Eoin Colfer writes a sequel. I know this idea has been used a million times, especially in other catagories so bear with me, ok? PLEASE R&R!



“Your on Disclaimer guy!”



“………………”



“Where's the disclaimer dude?”



“……………….” There is complete silence, a tumble weed rools over the set. Ditto walks in.



“Ditto! My pint sized friend! Walk with me, talk with me.”



“Did your disclaimer guy not show up again.” Ditto continues to eat his Pazza.



“Ummm…er….yes.” I hang my head down in shame, hoping that Ditto will catch on, and do the disclaimer for me.



“Well, bye.”



“Do the disclamier!....Please.” I am now holding Ditto two feet off the ground by his shirt collar.



“Ok. Geesh.” Ditto eats more Pazza. “Mars does not own any of Eoin Colfer's amazing original characters.”



“Thank you Dit-”



“She doesn't own any money eiether, because she is stupid, lazy, egoman-”



“Shut up!” I take Pazza and shove the remainder of it down Ditto's throat. “For that you shall be the first victim…ummm…er…guest. Care speak if you do not want to be first.”



Ditto is trying to speak, but is choking on Pazza.



“Good.”



Chapter 1 Ditto



15. Poke him in the shoulder using his own hand and continue saying, “Stop poking your self. Stop poking yourself. Stop poking yourself.”



14. Remind him that Stefan was 10 years younger than him, but a thousand feet taller than him.



13. Dress him up in your old baby clothes.



12. Dress him up in your old baby clothes and take pictures.



11. Confiscate all the beer from the fridge.



10. Tell him all Pazza delievery resturants were destroyed by a tornado.



9. When he sais “We don't have tornados in The Big Pig.” Argue with him. Make sure it is and intelligent argument.



Ditto: We don't!



You: We do! Ditto:



Ditto: We don't!



You: We do!



Ditto: We don't!



You: We do! Ditto:



Ditto: We don't!



You: We do!



(Repeat, very intelligent conversation indeed)



8. Steal his medical bag, wrap yourself in bandages so you look like a mummy. Circle him and the TV while he is trying to watch his favorite show saying, “Return of the mummy!”



7. Ask him why he hasn't bought height max yet.



6. Repeat number 12.



5. Remind him of the time when he, Stefan, Mona and Cosmo had to go into outerspace, and how he had to sit on Stefan's lap the whole ride there…and how he puked… Tell all your friends too.



4. Show off his picture to people who ask “Can I see a picture of the kids?” Act like a mother does when she shows off your baby pictures.



3. Keep telling him he's a pervert.



Me: You're a pervert!



Ditto: What did I do?



Me: Nothing you little perv!



Ditto: But I'm not a pervert!



Me: You sick little perv!



(Aftertime he will look like this…)



Ditto: x_x



2. If you are a girl: flirt with him constantly, even though you are 2 feet taller than him.

If you are a boy: Fill his shoes with peanut butter.

If you are weird like me: Do both.



1. Ask him if you can use a pair of his underpants to have Cosmo write everything he knows about combat on. (In the book Stefan said, “Cosmo, everything you know about combat could be written on Ditto's underpants if you catch my drift.”)

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