Chapter 3 - Metal Gear Solid

Sorry about the delay everyone. Rough week. Chapter is all made up so here we go!

Disclaim: I don't own any of these characters. They will act differently though.
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Campbell: Your mission is to destroy Metal Gear.
Snake: Metal Gear?
Campbell: Yeah, sounds cool. Big tall robot that gets more robots in the future.
Snake: How do you know this?
Campbell: Because... I'm from the FUTURE! *dramatic theme*
Snake: Huh?
Campbell: Yeah, FUTURE! *dramatic theme*

Ocelot: *gets his hand cut off* OMG! WHAT THE HELL!!! WHY THE *censored* WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!?!?! I MEAN C'MON!!! *censored* *censored* *censored*
Snake: o_O At least it wasn't your arm.
Ocelot: BUT I'M LEFT HANDED! NOW I GOT TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE RIGHT HANDED! BASTARD DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT!!
Ninja: *in other room listening to Ocelot* Yes, ninjas rule!

*Ninja Battle*
Snake: Ok, I got a question. Why did you cut Ocelot's hand off?
Ninja: It was in my childhood years.
*13 years ago*
Young Ocelot: Haha! Ninja believes he can become a ninja. Watching too much Naruto I see.
Young Ninja: I am going to become a ninja! And not just any ninja, a robot looking ninja. And what's this "Naruto"?
Young Ocelot: *kicks sand in Young Ninja's eyes* We'll see! *runs away*
*13 years later ~Now~*
Ninja: And I wanted him to lose his gun shooting hand.
Snake: Wow, you actually known each other for 13 years?
Ninja: Sadly, yes.

*Same Ninja Battle Part 2*
Ninja: *gets shot* Pain, give me more!
Snake: You actually like getting shot?
Ninja: Yeah, I never feel pain when I'm wearing to suit
Snake: Well, what about the pain of the people you killed just right outside.
Ninja: People?
*10 minutes ago*
Person in Yellow Suit 1: Please, I got a wife and 5 kids!
Ninja: NONE SHALL LIVE! *stabs person*
Person in Yellow Suit 2: OMG, THAT GUY DIED BY SOME INVISIBLE THING!
Ninja: You're next!
Snake: *enters hallway. Sees a person getting stabbed in mid-air* Cool, teach me that trick!
Person in Yellow Suit 2: Tell my lawyer.... I'm suing him for this job... *dies*
*~Now~ *
Ninja: Nope, didn't feel any pain from that.
Snake: Are you that cold blooded?!

Psycho Mantis: Ah, I see all that's on your memory card.
Snake: Memory card?
Psycho Mantis: I see you have Digimon and Yugioh. Wait, why do you play those games?
Snake: When you get bored on your trip here that's why!
Psycho Mantis: Ok, let's see what else. You saved 1000 times!?
Snake: About that...
*2 hours ago*
Snake: *takes two steps* SAVE!
*saves*
Snake: *takes one step* SAVE!
*saves*
Snake: *tales another step* SAVE!
*saves*
Psycho Mantis: Wow.

Snake's Master: Snake, I have to tell you something.
Snake: What Master?
Snake's Master: *takes off disguise* I'm actually your brother Liquid!
Snake: Liquid!
Liquid: Yes Snake, are you shocked?
Snake: I just have one question.
Liquid: What is it?
Snake: Why did you give me tips on how to kill your comrades?
Liquid: It was all part of the evil plan! They were all worthless anyway!
Ocelot: Even me?
Liquid: Yes, you too. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ocelot: I feel used...
Snake: You're mad Liquid!

Snake: To all those who've played my game, did you see both endings?
Liquid: There's two endings?
Snake: Yep. One ending is where Meryl dies and she lives in the other one.
Meryl: Give the heroine a break!
Snake: And want to know something else?
Liquid and Meryl: Sure.
Snake: My voice actor is named David and in this game I said my real name is David.
Liquid and Meryl: *gasp!*
Liquid: Wait, why am I gasping? I knew that from the beginning.





Director: Alright everyone, I know we're going to enjoy the next game, but we need to make a few changes.
Snake: What changes?
Director: Well first off, Snake, you will only be played for a few hours then we'll switch off with someone else.
Snake: WHAT!?
Director: Come in kid.
Raiden: Yo, I'm Raiden.
Snake: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!! *charges at Raiden, but people begin to hold him back* LET ME JUST KILL HIM!
Raiden: What's his problem?
Director: You're stealing his job.
Raiden: Oh.

*after the tanker scene*
Director: Alright, let's switch.
Snake: *walks by Raiden* "I'm watching you"
Raiden: o_O *took that in a wrong way*

Campbell: Your new name is Raiden.
Raiden: Why can't I be Snake?
Snake: *glares at Raiden*
Raiden: o_o I mean, I'm good with Raiden!

Vamp: I've died once, I won't die again.
Everyone: GODMOD!
Vamp: What? I said I died once...
Raiden: But look at you! You're covered in bullet holes and I shot your brains out. How can you still be alive?!
Vamp: I'm a-
Raiden: Godmod?
Vamp: No! I'm a-
Snake and Raiden: Godmod?
Vamp: WILL YOU STOP IT! Damn, can I say that I'm a-
Raiden, Snake, and Director: Godmod?
Vamp: I GIVE UP! *walks away*
Raiden: Vampire?

*after the first scene of Vamp falling into the water later*
Raiden: Alright Emma, just go across that beam and I'll kill anyone or blow up anything in your way.
Emma: Ok... *scared and begins to cross it*
*10 minutes later*
Vamp: *appears from the water and puts a knife near Emma*
Raiden: WHAT THE HELL! GO AWAY GODMOD!
Director: It's part of the plot. He kills Emma.
Emma: He kills who? *gets stabbed by Vamp*
Raiden: I was distracted! *shoots Vamp's head again*
Vamp: Slow motion drop. *falls into the water*
Raiden: And stay down. Emma, are you ok?
Emma: *lays on the beam, dying* x_x

*Offstage*
Snake: So, did you get rid of Vamp?
Raiden: Yeah. Shot his head the second time.
Snake: You know he isn't dead.
Raiden: I'm sure he is. I shot him many times, in places you easily die.
Snake: You'll see what I mean kid.
Raiden: Kid?

Raiden: *hides in a box and moves around* No one will spot me now.
Guard: Huh? *sees a box* Oh, my magazines must have came in.
Raiden: Magazines? *box is open* Um...
Guard: Oh... must be for experiments. *closes box*
Raiden: Pervert... *walks away*

Campbell: Raiden, you're going to have to sacrifice one of your magazines in order to get the guards off your trail.
Raiden: But- But- This is the new limited edition magazine I got before I started this mission.
Campbell: Well it must be used!
Raiden: *cries and drops the magazine*
Guard 1: Hey, a magazine!
Guard 2: Which one?
Guard 1: Limited Edition of Perverts "R" Us.
Guard 3: What?! That can be sold for millions!
*blackout. Firing of bullets are heard throughout the room*
Guard 2: *bullet wounds on his arms and legs* HA! I WIN!! *falls over in pain*
Raiden: *grabs magazine* That's mine! *runs away*
Guard 2: My... my... maga... *dies due to loss of too much blood*

*sword fight*
Raiden: *swings his sword and clashes with Solidus's sword* You killed my parents!
Solidus: No, I am YOUR PARENTS!
Raiden: Wait.. *sword battle stops* What the hell? That doesn't make any sense.
Solidus: You sure?
Raiden: *cuts his back* Yep.
Solidus: Argh! *falls off building*
Raiden: Remember kids, get your quotes right. *winks*





Snake: Wait, wait. So you're telling me I'm a bit younger and this is before Metal Gear Solid.
Director: Yep.
Snake: C'MON! This means I can't kill anyone I meet here that's on the other games.
Director: Yep.
Snake: Ugh.

Ocolet: It's nice to meet you Snake. *grabs gun*
Snake: I already know you. It's called the future.
Ocolet: Future?
*Few minutes later*
TIME PARADOX
Snake: Time Paradox?
Director: Yeah. He mustn't know of the future.
Snake: Now you're making my job harder.

*with Eva and Snake in a cave near a fire* ~Note: This was one of those "WTF" scenes.~
*shadows appear to be both Eva and Snake are wrestling in a dirty way*
Snake: I love shadow puppets.
Eva: Wrestling shadow puppets are better though.
Snake: I'm missing that for my mission too.
Eva: I hope Hulk Hogan wins the Royal Rumble.

Snake: *appears to be on a river in a very dark area* Where am I?
Dead Guard: You killed me! You killed me!
Snake: I remember you!
*2 hours ago*
Guard: I can't wait to go back home after- *neck is snapped*
Snake: *drags body away*
*present time*
Snake: Yeah... sorry about that.
Dead Guard: Now you must die!
Snake: *walks away* If I die, that'll create a time paradox.

Ocolet: HA HA! Now I'm in full control of this Pre-Metal Gear Rex!
Snake: You aren't the one who suppose to be riding that. That shocky guy is suppose to be-
*Rex explodes*
TIME PARADOX
Snake: ENOUGH ALREADY!

Snake: *begins to climb up a tall ladder, bringing him back to the surface* Finally, almost done this whole mission.
*Snake Eater is begin played*
Music: What a thrill... With darkness and silence through the night.
Snake: What the hell? Am I going crazy?
Music: What a thrill... I'm searching and I'll melt into you.
Snake: Ok! SHOW YOURSELF!
Music: *gets louder each time he climbs up* What a fear in my heart. But you're so supreme!
Snake: I'M GOING CRAZY!! *let's go of ladder and falls*
TIME PARADOX
Big Boss: Hm, guess that wasn't him after all.

Ocelot: *juggles guns* Choose a gun.
Snake: *grabs gun and fires at Ocelot. He dies*
TIME PARADOX
Eva: You just killed him again.
Snake: Who cares about the time paradox. What's going to happen?
*Metal Gear Solid*
Mario: *gets his hand cut off* What am I doing here anyway? I'm suppose to be saving the princess.
Ninja: He hasn't noticed his hand was cut off?
Snake: Nope, and he's being talking for hours.
Mario: This area is too graphic for me and- *looks at his hand* SWEET MUSHROOM KINGDOM, MY FIREBALL USING HAND!! *runs around the room and touches one of the bomb wires*
Snake: Oh shi-
*whole place blows up*





Snake: What the- I'm an old man now?! I had regular colored hair 2 years or whatever years ago and now I got gray hair?! What is this, the end of the series?!
Everyone: ........


Raiden: *sees Vamp* How the hell are you alive?
Vamp: I can't die idiot.
Raiden: No wonder why, his power level is over 9000. Thank you new ninja armour suit!


Ocelot: How old am I now? I lost count after Metal Gear Solid. And why do I look the same?


Snake: I wonder what would happen if I put this gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. *tries*
*blackout and firing of a gun is heard*





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Chapter 4 is up next and what better way to kick it off is by a request. Nintendude07 has requested for a Super Smash Bros. Outtake and it shall be done! Tune in for the explosive chapter!

Author's Note: Wow, had a hard time trying to get this chapter up. Had a few problems here and there. I'm starting my first request chapter and I'm excited! For all of those who are reading or commenting, thank you. Even if I don't get many comments, I'll still continue to type/write out the chapters. Once again, Thank You. ^^

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