Chapter 1 - We dream of ale,of ham and cheese.

It was a dark and spookkkyyyful night. The whole LOTR crew was around a campfire. It was very silent. Gimli looked annoyed from the silence. He decided to break the silence. "Umm...any body gots some ale?" Aragorn piped up."Ummm..nooooo.." Gimli was very sad and missed his ale quite greatly."awwww...i miss me ale.." He started to drool."aalllleeee...." Frodo looked up from his strange meal of a green twig (dont ask). "you have issues Gimli." Pippin turned in Frodos direction. "I like ale.." silence "I know you do pippin, i know you do." frodo answered knowing that everyone here probably liked ale. Legolas was to involved in brushing his hair to notice. When all of a sudden..."CURSE YOU,YOU VILE PEICE OF HAIR!!! STAY DOWN OR I WILL CUT YOU A SUNDER!!!" his strange struggles had brought the attention of the crew. But alas he did not seem to notice they were watching him. He carefully tried to put one hair down."Easy, little hair of mine, cooperate and i will spare you pain." the hair sprang up. "ARRRGGG!! DIE FILTHY VILE THING!!" he quickly grabed his knife and slashed the hair off. "VICTORY, GLORYUS VICTORY! MUAHAHAHAHAhahaaaa......*ahem*" he now realized that he was being watched. He started to mumble in elvish."oh i hate &mortals.;.i h#ate them)all" (if you are wondering what this means it is "I hate mortals....i hate them all.") and now he huffed off to the nearest mirror to admire his hair. They all just stared until they could see him no more. Frodo felt hungry and still slightly ill from the green twig. "Oohhhh im hungry.." frodo said while his tummy rumbled. Sam immediately sprang into action. "ILL GET YU SUMTIN TU EAT!!!" and ran into the woods with a net. Aragorn rubbed his temples "i have a head ache from all this yelling" said Aragorn. "And im bored!" cried merry."Me too!"said pippin. Gimli started to snore,for he was far far away in dreamland dreaming of fat dwarf woman and a lake of ale.(gotta have his ale) Aragorn just got a splendid idea. "Merry, Pippin i have a cure for your boredness." they got up exitedly."what what!" they said in unissen. Aragorn grinned a sly grin."we braid gimlis hair and beard in bows while hes sleeping!" Merry and Pippin grinned."Splendid!" they said and went to work with some extra things they had in their bags. Frodo just laughed and warmed his hands by the fire. And if your wondering where Borameir is hes using the bathroom. cuts to scene where you see sam trying to catch a rabbit with a net. Hes almost got it when he stops to look at a bumble bee."awww lookit the lil bumble beeeee.." and it stings him in the butt. He turns around angrily. "that is a DEATH BEE!" he then swirls around and tries to whack it with his net. We now see borameir beside the lake taking a pee.(man, even in stories they pollute the lakes.) we see sam take a swing at the bee, hit Borameir in the head and he falls into the lake.(HA! thats the consequence for POLLUTEING!) The bee now gets away and Sam drops on his knees and yells out to the sky "NNNOOOOOOOOOO! TILL WE MEET AGAIN....death beeeeee..." he now walks back to camp with his head down not noticeing poor Borameir.Boramier climbs out is quite wet and feels sad and huddles in a corner and pouts. Now sam is still hunting and somthing catches his eye. He sneaks towards it not really looking at what it is, grabs it in his net and twists the top of the net so it will not escape.He notices that it is quite heavy and thinks he caught a deer. It struggles quite greatly but he just thinks of how happy his friends will be to have a nice meal. The thought gives him strenghth and he go's on while the creature in the sac makes muffled sqeals."Maybye its a piggy.." thought Sam who was now dreaming of bacon. He then follows the sound of Gimli snoring so he can find his way to camp. We see all the members around the fire look at each other and they all burst into song.(it is amazing that at this point gimli is still asleep.)Legolas is not far off and is holding his ears. "ARRRGGG! MY BEUTIFUL ELVISH EARS!!!" and falls to the ground.(not dead) It was the song "this is the song that never ends" it is a dreadful song. (belive me i know) Frodo looked up at Aragorn. For he was dredfuly hungry and sam had not come back yet. But he was sleeping and he looked so peaceful he did not want to wake him. Just as he was thinking of getting some food himself sam burst through the bushes with a full net."I GOTS SOMTIN!" and woke up aragorn who was in fact having a dream of ham and cheese.(not a romantic scene with Arwen) "MINAS TIRATH, SAM I WAS HAVING A GOOD DREAM!" Aragorn said very mad becuse he now missed the ham and cheese. " I like ham and cheese quite greatly." he thought. Gimli then woke up and did not notice that he had pink ribben in his beard and hair.(he also had pig tails!tee hee!) "Aye, wuts goin on laddies?" gimli said finally waking up. Sam was very happy. "I GOTS US SOMTIN TO EAT!!" Aragorn then went back to rubbing his temples. Frodo looked greatful."Whats in the sack, Sam?" Sam stoped to think. "im not sure, i just grabbed it i didnt really look at it. Frodo sighed."Im sure its good anyways." and opended the sack. He looked inside and there was boramier. he was wet, and huddled up and looked very depressed. "I need a hug." he whimperd.

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