Chapter 5 - Holograms

The group had finally reached Irk, after another few days. As they landed, Dib noticed with shock just how barren and lifeless the planet seemed. "What happened to everything?" he asked curiously.
Tak shrugged. "Irk has been like this for eons. Most smeets never see actual plant life unless they become Invaders or are lucky enough to travel to other planets."
His eyes widened in surprise as Zim joined them in front of the ships. "What about other life forms? There's nothing here but dirt."
Zim smirked, as he planted a hologram square around the ships. "We wiped out all of the inferior life forms a long time ago."
"Why?"
"They were inferior, obviously," the red-eyed Irken answered. Then he muttered to himself, looking around, "Where'd I leave my stash?"
As an 'oh, really?' expression crossed her face, Tak asked, "You're got a stash in this sector?"
Confused, Dib wondered aloud, "What on Earth is a stash?"
Tak sniggered. "It's a collection of one's favorite beers that are hidden for future use."
The human child gasped. "Beer?"
"I may be too young to drink Irken beer, but I've tried yours. Ours is probably ten times more lethal," she responded, as Zim scanned the rocky landscape. Moments later, a spider leg extended from his PAK and triumphantly zapped a rock into oblivion. The Irken then walked over and grabbed the handle of a small metal crate, easily carrying it back over to them.
"Well, then, let's go," Zim announced, oblivious to Tak's cold gaze and Dib's 'Zim's a moron' expression. "I can't go pracing around looking like a human, Zim," the large-headed kid pointed out. "And what about Gir and MiMi?"
As he shrugged, the little silver robot ran full-speed out of the hologram square and his dark gray companion followed slowly. "Don't care," Zim replied.
Glaring at Zim, Tak hissed, "I known an Irken in this sector that makes holograms. It shouldn't be too hard to convince her to make one."
Zim, dropping the crate, crossed his arms and retorted, "I don't have any monies to waste on a hologram for the Dibstink."
The purple-eyed Irken lifted her fist and punched Zim full in the face, knocking him over. "You don't buy holograms, moron. You do a favor, and they make you a hologram in return. Morana already owes me a hologram, because I repaired her ship a while back."
Getting up almost immediately, the short male scowled at Tak and growled, "Take us there, then."
She shrugged, and after a moment's thought, headed to the right.
---
They eventually came to a dilapidated, old shack, after about four miles of walking. Neither Irken seemed tired in any way, but Dib wasn't used to walking so much at once, and desperately wanted a drink. Unfortunately, Zim's fear of water and Tak's lack of knowledge about it left Dib with nothing to drink.
As they approached, a cable extended from Tak's PAK and inserted itself into a hole in the blank wall. Moments later, a voice crackled, seemingly from nowhere, "So, you're back, Tak? Come on in."
A door appeared, revealing a tiny room. Tak stepped in, and her four companions quickly followed. As if second nature, both Irkens stepped in front of Dib as the room lowered itself, deeper and deeper into the earth. When it finally stopped, they were greeted by a green-eyed female Irken dressed rather eccentricly. Dib guessed that this must be Morana.
"So, Tak, who's your friend?" she asked.
"Actually, he's NOT my friend, but the human behind us is."
"The what?"
Dib, already sick of being hidden, pushed through Zim and Tak, and Morana gasped.
"That's no creature I've ever seen!" she exclaimed. "It doesn't belong on Irk!"
Tak sighed. "Morana, please. I need a hologram to disguise him as Irken."
"No." She crossed her arms, to accentuate her reply. "I could be severely punished or killed if the Control Brains knew I was dealing with Irkens bringing other races to our homeplanet."
Zim, sick of the conversation, sneered, "We're defectives, you. Heck, I've been on trial before and we probably both will before this is over. Though... the Control Brains did let me pilot the Massive..."
"THEY DID WHAT?!" Tak screeched. "YOU FLEW THE MASSIVE?"
Dib sniggered.
"Twice, actually. The time after my trial, and a while before that, when I took control of its power core," Zim replied.
Dib laughed outright. "That was insane, considering you sent an itty-bitty little ship to destroy me."
Zim scowled, his amused expression gone. "You weren't supposed to be a part of that."
Morana had still not lost her shocked & angered expression, though she was faintly amused by the whole thing. "I still won't do it. And... is the creature why you're not speaking Irken?"
Tak shrugged, still glaring at Zim. "Just do it, Morana. I'm sure you don't want me to set MiMi on you again."
The green-eyed female gasped. "You wouldn't."
She grinned evilly. "I would. MiMi, battle mode!"
As the SIR's eyes flashed and MiMi withdrew her battle claw, Morana scowled darkly and stalked over to a dark area and out of sight.
"Now we wait," Tak said, sitting down on the floor and pulling a tiny computer from her PAK.
Dib walked over and sat down next to her, observing the screen. Covered in Irken letters, it was unreadable to him, but he guessed that it was a story of sorts. As she typed, he watched, noting that their writing often went left to right, and sometimes top to bottom.
---
"Tak, bring your creature over here," came a call from a nearby area.
The violet-eyed Irken stood and put the computer back in her PAK before looking to Dib. "You heard what she said. C'mon."
As she pulled him up, Dib brushed the dirt off the back of his trenchcoat. He followed her around several tables, a huge monitor, and through a dim passageway, into another dimly-lit room. A dusty glass mirror hung on a wall, smudged and dirty. The green-eyed Irken stood by a lone table, holding up a tiny square covered in circuitry. "You're lucky that I owe you, Tak, or else I'd never do this."
Tak narrowed her eyes slightly and asked evenly, "What type of hologram is it?"
"Just the circuitboard, saying as your creature doesn't have a PAK. You'll have to toy with it yourself so that it can turn the hologram on and off."
Tak nodded, thinking for several moments. Then, more to herself than anyone else, she muttered, "What does Dib have that we can remove and wear whenever?"
Listening, Dib suggested, "What about my glasses?"
"Do you have a second pair?" she asked, a curious glint in her eyes.
He shrugged. "I've got a spare. Most people-humans," he corrected himself, "do." He burrowed in his trenchcoat for a moment, then triumphantly pulled out a pair of glasses identical to the ones he wore.
Grabbing the glasses with one hand and the hologram chip with the other, Tak compared the sizes. Moving the chip around and holding it against various pieces of Dib's glasses, she mumbled, "Can't put it in the glass... that's too thin... not wide enough... there. That'll do, with a bit of modification..."
Morana, leaning on the table, asked sullenly, "You'll be using my tools, I presume?"
Breaking free of her thoughts, Tak replied coldly, "I have some in my PAK, specifically for holograms."
The green-eyed Irken nodded briskly and said, "Then I will go work on one of my... more tasteful projects." With that, she turned and walked through what seemed to be a wall. A flickering hologram proved otherwise.
Tak snorted as she sat down and pulled several tools from her PAK. "Now, let's see what I can do with this."
---
Half an hour later, the purple-eyed Irken held up the glasses. "Try it on, Dib."
As time had passed, Zim had joined them, and he now sniggered at Dib, who was somewhat bewildered.
The large-headed kid took the offered glasses and switched them with his normal pair, before walking over to the mirror and brushing it off with his sleeve.
Facing him in the mirror was a green-skinned Irken, with crooked antennae, deep chocolate brown eyes, his glasses, and clothing that looked like a mix of his and Zim's.
"What about a PAK?" Zim pointed out, rather smugly.
Tak glared at him. "You know how holograms work, Zim. I can't make something that is not part of the object being hidden or a copy of a real object. Besides, even if I could add a PAK, he would get weird looks when he can't use it."
Dib shrugged and asked, "Would anyone really notice if I don't have a PAK-thing?"
"Not really," the violet-eyed female replied. "Irkens are not very observant, though we're still going to notice if there are humans among us."
Zim yawned, and grinned at Tak, clearly to annoy her. "Can we go yet? I've got an Empire to bring down!"

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