Chapter 1 - What is One plus One?

SOLVING LIFES MYSTERIES WITH SESSHOUMARU!
(my fanciest title yet)
KrysOfDeath: I have no idea. Believe me.

THIS FIC HAS NO REAL PLOT. THINGS JUST HAPPEN. DO NOT BLAME THE AUTHOR IF YOU EXPERIENCE CRAMPS, ABDOMINAL PAIN, OR LOSS OF BLADDER CONTROL. IT'S ONLY HAPPENING BECAUSE YOU ARE LAUGHING EXTREMELY HARD.

KrysOfDeath: Uh. . .hi?
Audience: Hi.
KrysOfDeath: ^_^ Hi!
Audience: -.- . . .
KrysOfDeath: Today we are going to solve some of the MYSTERIES of life!
Audience: *bored* Yay.
KrysOfDeath: Well, aren't you all such a responsive audience?
Audience: . . .
KrysOfDeath: Yeah. . .Great.
*everyone is leaving*
KrysOfDeath: Oh, FINE! BE THAT WAY! *ahem* I will now solve one of the most difficult problems in the history of humans and demons alike! What is. . .one plus one? *pulls out chalkboard and hangs it* Now, on to the lesson.
*LECTURE*
KrysOfDeath: *writes one plus one on the chalkboard* Step one. First of all, you notice that one is equal to one. Okay, so one equals one.. One plus the other one, of course, equals one(X). X is equal to one, which means one is equal to x. But, as one plus one equals two, than x CAN'T equal one. Um. . .Step two. . .and then a miracle occurs, step three, we now know that one plus one equals two. There ya go! ^_^
Sesshoumaru: I think you should be more explicit in step two.
KrysOfDeath: ._.; Uh. . .
Emi-San: *walks in and begins to write several formulas*
*Emi-San's Lecture*
Emi-San: One is equal to one. One plus one would equal two. Right? Wrong. By linear pairs on the number line, we see that one is parallel to two. Therefore, one plus one can NOT equal two. With me so far? Good. . .
Audience: *confused* What?
Emi-San: OH FORGET IT! *smashes chalkboard* Geez. . . *walks out*
KrysOfDeath: Okay, so she gave up. Now I will continue where I left off.
Sesshoumaru: Oh, for GODS sake! One plus one equals two, you idiots!
KrysOfDeath: No. I now know how to PROVE that theory!
Sesshoumaru: Oh, really?
KrysOfDeath: *hangs up another chalkboard* Okay, one plus one. By the rules of the number line, one also equals negative one, because it is the same length from zero as is negative one. So, negative one plus negative one equals one plus one. With me?
Sesshoumaru: I think.
KrysOfDeath: Good. But negative one plus negative one can NOT equal one plus one.
Sesshoumaru: WHY?!
KrysOfDeath: Simply because of the fact that negative one plus negative one equals negative two, and one plus one equals two. Two and negative two do NOT equal each other. . .Usually.
Sesshoumaru: . . .You lost me.
KrysOfDeath: ^^; Uh. . .

END OF CHAPTER ONE!

KrysOfDeath: ._. That was. . .interesting. ^^; Well, in the next chapter, we try to learn where BABIES come from! -^^-
Sesshoumaru: Oh, joy. Best go tell Rin. She's been wanting to know for a while now. . . *mumbles* I sure as hell ain't tellin' her. *thinks of how it would go*

*Sesshoumaru's thoughts*

Rin: Lord Sesshoumaru, where do babies come from? *blink, blink*
Sesshoumaru: O_o; Why do you wish to know, Rin? *sweatdrop*
Rin: PLEASE tell Rin!
Sesshoumaru: Um. . .Well, you see. . .Um. . .There are two kinds of people. Men. . .and women.
Rin: What's the difference between men and women, Lord Sesshoumaru? *smile*
Sesshoumaru: O__O; Well, um. . .um. . .HORMONES! Yeah, that's it! Hormones!
Rin: *blink, blink* What are hormones, Lord Sesshoumaru?
Sesshoumaru: Um. . .They're what make people either women or men. . . *thinking* This is NOT going well.
Rin: Oh! . . .So where do babies come from?
Sesshoumaru: *sweatdrop* Err. . .Um. . .GO ASK JAKEN! O___O; *runs off to take LONG bath*
Rin: Wha? *blink, blink*

*back to ending notes*

Sesshoumaru: O____O;
KrysOfDeath: What's wrong with you?
Sesshoumaru: *voice is slightly tensed* Nothing. Nothing at all. O.O;
KrysOfDeath: U_u; Right. . .

-FIN-

Solving life mystery #1 (what's 1 plus 1?) ..........FAILED.

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