Chapter 4 - ch4

Here's the next chapter. I don't own ghostbuster or any other rights to it I'm just making a parody.



INT. KEIKO'S APARTMENT - LATER THAT AFTERNOON



The door opens and Keiko enters the darkened flat with Yusuke. She switches on the light and leads him to the living room.



YUSUKE

Have you ever thought of moving out - at least until this disturbance blows over?



KEIKO

No. If I moved out now I'd be acknowledging that what happened was real. I'm not ready to do that.



Yusuke sees the cello leaning up against the wall.



YUSUKE

You play the cello! It's my favorite instrument.



KEIKO

Really? Do you have a favorite piece?



YUSUKE

(thinks)

I'd have to say Prokofiev's third concerto.



KEIKO

That's a violin concerto.



YUSUKE

Yeah, but it's got a great cello break.



He grabs the cello and starts playing it like a stand-up base. Keiko takes the instrument out of his hands and gently puts it back in the case.



KEIKO

You really don't act like a scientist.



YUSUKE

No? What do I act like?



KEIKO

Like a used car salesman.



YUSUKE

Thanks.

(he gets down to business and starts looking around the apartment)

What's in there?



He points to a door.



KEIKO

That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.



She takes off her jacket.



YUSUKE

(noticing her body)

That's too bad.



KEIKO

What?



YUSUKE

Nothing. Is that the kitchen?



He points to another door.



KEIKO

(nods)

Uh-huh.



YUSUKE

Well, let's check it out.



KEIKO

I'll wait here if you don't mind.



He enters the kitchen.





INT. THE KITCHEN - DAY



The room is a real mess. Utensils are lying all over the floor. The cabinets and walls are splattered with food.



YUSUKE

(calls out)

You're quite a housekeeper.



KEIKO

(off-camera)

I told you, I...



YUSUKE

I know. It happened by itself.



He scans the room with his monitoring device.



YUSUKE (CONT'D)

Nothing.



He looks in a couple of cabinets, then confronts the refrigerator. With mild trepidation he grasps the door handle, then suddenly jerks it open. The handle comes off in his hand.



YUSUKE (CONT'D)

Damn!



KEIKO

(off-camera)

Are you all right?



YUSUKE

Yeah, yeah.



He grips the side of the fridge door and pulls it open.





INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY



Keiko stands there nervously watching the kitchen door. Finally, it opens and Yusuke comes out munching an apple.



YUSUKE

There's nothing there now and I don't get any significant readings.



KEIKO

This is terrible. Either there's a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy.



YUSUKE

If it's any comfort to you, I don't think you're crazy.



KEIKO

(laughs ironically)

Thanks. Coming from you that really means a lot to me.



YUSUKE

I'm a qualified psychologist. I've got a degree and everything. I believe that something happened here and I want to do something about it.



KEIKO

All right. What do you want to do?



YUSUKE

I think I should spend the night here.



KEIKO

(she's had enough)

That's it. Get out.



YUSUKE

On a purely scientific basis.



KEIKO

Out!



YUSUKE

I want to help you.



KEIKO

I'll scream.



YUSUKE

Don't scream.



KEIKO

(urging him to the door)

Then leave.



YUSUKE

Okay, okay. But if anything else happens, you have to promise you'll call me.



KEIKO

(opening the door)

All right.



YUSUKE

Okay. Then I'll go.



KEIKO

Goodbye.



YUSUKE

(in the hall)

No kiss?



She closes the door in his face and triple locks it.





EXT. HALLWAY - DAY



Yusuke stands there with his nose flattened against Keiko's door. He starts to leave just as Koema Tully pokes his head out the door hoping to see Kekio. He jealously eyes Yusuke. Yusuke ignores Koenma and gets on the elevator.



Koema spots his newspaper lying on the floor across the hall. Holding the door open with one foot, he reaches for the paper but can't quite stretch far enough. Trying another approach, he swings the door open, leaps for the paper and darts back to the door just as it slams shut in his face, locking him out again.





INT. FIREHALL KITCHEN - NIGHT



Kuwabara and Kurama are eating Chinese food from several take-out containers. Yusuke enters.



KUWABARA

How was your date?



YUSUKE

It wasn't a date. It was an investigation.



KURAMA

Did you see anything?



YUSUKE

Didn't see anything, Didn't get anything. Nice girl - no ghost. I'm starting to worry. You said your graph was pointing to something big. You told me things were going to start popping.



KUWABARA

They will.



YUSUKE

Do you know when that might be? We're on the brink of a very serious cash-flow problem.



He plucks a garlic shrimp from one of the Chinese food cartons and walks off disconsolately.





EXT. HOTEL SEDGEWICK - NIGHT



Two uniformed DOORMEN help people in and out of taxis and limos under the hotel's elegant awning.





INT. HOTEL - NIGHT



A "DO NOT DISTURB" sign hangs on the doorknob of Room 1210. Soft music is heard coming from the room.





INT. ROOM 1210 - NIGHT



The room is dark but we can hear the sighs and heavy breathing of a man and woman making love on the bed. The camera PANS across the floor following a trail of dropped clothing - a tuxedo jacket and cummerbund, white satin high heels, a lacy wedding gown, striped tuxedo trousers, satin ladies underpants, stockings and garters.



BRIDE (V.O.)

Aren't you glad we waited?



GROOM (V.O.)

I don't know. It probably would've been the same.



BRIDE (V.O.)

(indignant)

Well, thanks a lot.





THE BED



The Groom turns his back to the Bride and pulls the sheet up to his neck.



BRIDE

What are you doing? Are you just going to roll over and go to sleep?

(he doesn't respond)

I don't believe this.



She switches on the lamp on the nightstand and picks up a magazine.





THE AIR VENT



There is a throbbing shudder as if something powerful was rushing through the air duct. A hint of yellowy vapor wafts through the grating and into the room.





THE NIGHTSTAND



The travel clock reads 9:45 P.M. Suddenly there is an audible hiss, then the glass clockface cracks down the middle with a snap.





THE BRIDE



Startled, she looks at the clock and picks it up to examine it.



BRIDE

Roy? Your clock broke.



GROOM

Nice going, honey. It was brand new.



BRIDE

I didn't break your precious clock, Roy!



He gets up and heads for the bathroom.



BRIDE (CONT'D)

Now where are you going?



GROOM

To the bathroom, where do you think?



BRIDE

(to herself)

Have I done the right thing?



The Groom enters the bathroom and closes the door behind him. The sound of water running in the sink is heard. Then the Bride hears a sound like the noise a cat makes when trying to dislodge a hairball from its throat.



BRIDE

(calls out)

Roy? Are you all right?



The noise increases to the level of ten cats with hairballs.



BRIDE

(disgusted)

Hey, sweetheart, will you CUT THAT OUT!!!



GROOM (O.S.)

Uuuuuuugh!!



BRIDE

(getting quite nervous)

What's the matter, dear?



She gets out of bed just as he comes charging out, stuttering in stunned horror. She goes into the bathroom.



BRIDE (V.O.)

What did you do in here? It smells awful!! OH... Oh, no... Oh, my God.



The Bride runs out of the bathroom into the arms of her husband who is on the telephone.



GROOM

... right... It's smelling up the whole suite... I don't know... It's just hanging off the ceiling... I've never seen anything like this... 1210... Quick...





INT. FIREHALL OFFICE - NIGHT



Botan turns off the light at her desk. She packs up her purse and puts on her coat. The phone rings. Botan answers it unenthusiastically.



BOTAN

Ghostbusters... Yes, it is... Yes, of course they're serious. You do! You have! Yes, sir. Well, they're out on another case now, but if you'll give me the address... Don't worry, they'll be totally discreet.



She hits an alarm button and a loud bell starts ringing frantically.





INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT



The alarm sounds and everyone jumps up, scattering takeout cartons.





INT. DORM - NIGHT



The alarm continues. Everyone enters in haste and scrambles into jumpsuits. There is much hopping on one leg and bumping into one another.





BRASS POLE



Fully suited, Yusuke jumps on and slides down followed quickly by Kurama. Then Kuwabara jumps at it but hits it at the wrong angle. He slowly slides down out of sight with a stunned look on his face.





INT. GARAGE BAY - EQUIPMENT RACKS - NIGHT



Everyone pulls throwers, traps, packs and harnesses off the wall.





EXT. FIREHALL - NIGHT



The garage door slides up and in a blaze of light and screeching tires, the ambulance squeals out and makes a right turn. The vehicle has been painted flat black and has been fitted with communication wafers and antennae. All the original lights have been replaced with purple and white strobes and the siren has been altered to emit a low, unearthly moaning The purple and white strobe bars give the car a strange ultraviolet aura. It rounds the corner and heads up the West Side Highway.





EXT. HOTEL - FRONT DOOR - NIGHT



The black ambulance screeches up to the main entrance, siren blaring. Emblazoned on the door is the Ghostbusters' new logo. It's the international symbol of prohibition, a red circle with a diagonal red stroke across a ghost. The DOORMAN steps forward as Yusuke, Kuwabara and Kurama leap out of the car. They open up the rear door and remove their equipment. People on the street stop and gawk.





INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT



As the Ghostbusters enter, people turn and stare at their strange appearance. They all wear matching blue futuristic jumpsuits with proton packs strapped to their backs. They also wear brushed-metal, flip-down ecto-visors worn on the head like a welder's mask. Knee and elbow pads complete their strange outfits.





YUSUKE



He looks ill-at-ease and embarrassed by their outlandish getups as the HOTEL MANAGER descends on them accompanied by a Slavic MAINTENANCE MAN and a worried BELL CAPTAIN.



MANAGER

(agitated)

Thank you for coming so quickly. The guests are starting to ask questions and I'm running out of excuses.



KUWABARA

Has this ever happened before?



MANAGER

Well, most of the original staff knows about the twelfth floor... The disturbances, I mean... But it's been quiet for years... Up until two weeks ago... It was never ever this bad, though.



KUWABARA

Did you ever report it to anyone?



MANAGER

Heavens, no! The owners don't like us to even talk about it. I hoped we could take care of this quietly tonight.



KUWABARA

Yes, sir. Don't worry. We handle this kind of thing all the time.



They cross the lobby to the elevators, attracting lots of curious interest from the hotel guests.





YUSUKE



A GUEST accosts him while they wait for an elevator.



GUEST

What are you supposed to be?



YUSUKE

Me? We're... uh... the exterminators. Somebody saw a cockroach on the twelfth floor.



The Guest looks at Yusuke, noting the heavy proton pack on his back, the odd-looking particle thrower and flipdown ecto-visor.



GUEST

That's gotta be some cockroach,



YUSUKE

Well, you can't be too careful with those babies.



The elevator arrives and he gets on with the others.

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