Chapter 1 - The Chosen Mystery Bachelor!

Mikita on a dating show



Hostess: Hello and welcome to my show! Tonight, our special guest is Mikita! We hope to learn more about her and hook her up with Mr. Perfect. Come on out Mikita!

(No one comes out.)

Hostess: Mikita, you can come out now… Mikita!

(Mikita peeks her head out from behind the curtain with the I-don't-care-or-show-any-emotion look along with a side of death glare.)

Mikita: Do I have to?

Hostess: (Smiles through her teeth) Yes. Now come on out.

(Mikita sighs and walks out onto the stage, stopping in front of the lady with an unkind expression.)

Hostess: (Cheery) Okay, now why don't you have a seat over here and we'll just ask you a few questions.

Mikita: (Sits down) When I find out who set me up for this, I'll kill `em.

(Karasu, Mikita's sister, sits in the audience and whistles.)

Hostess: Okay, now let's get started.

Mikita: How about let's not.

Hostess: To start with, why don't you tell us your goal in life?

Mikita: To kill the annoying beings on this earth.

Hostess: Okay… Well then, how old are you?

Mikita: I'm not at liberty to reveal that.

Hostess: Okay, then tell us, what qualities are you looking for in a man?

Mikita: I'm not.

Hostess: Would you want an intellectual type or a strong type?

Mikita: I wouldn't.

Hostess: What was your best date experience?

Mikita: What date?

Hostess: Did you have a high school crush?

Mikita: Didn't have any edjumacashun. School sucks.

Hostess: Now for a hypothetical question: If Prince William asked you to marry him, what would your answer be?

Mikita: No.

Hostess: On a scale of one to ten, where's your love level on the meter?

Mikita: What's with these stupid questions?! All you freakin' people care about is my love life! Well, screw you man! I'm not telling you s***!

Hostess: …Okay then.

Mikita: And stop saying “Okay”! It's driving me insane!

Hostess: Okay…

Mikita: Grrr!

Hostess: What's your favorite food?

Mikita: None of your business.

Hostess: What's your sign?

Mikita: Sign?

Hostess: You know, like your horoscope.

Mikita: What did you call me?!

Hostess: Your favorite number?

Mikita: Zero.

Hostess: Why?

Mikita: Because that's how many people I think should be on this planet besides me!

Hostess; Okay… Do you like music?

Mikita: Duh.

Hostess: Okay, well what kinds of music do you prefer?

Mikita: None of your business.

Hostess: Are you going to agree with me at all?

Mikita: What do you want to know?

Hostess: *sighs* How would you describe yourself in one word?

Mikita: Ticked off at the moment.

Hostess: And what seems to be the problem Mikita?

Mikita: *Glares at the hostess* I'm looking at it.

Hostess: Okay, well now that we know absolutely nothing about Mikita, let's just move on with the game! `Cause you're on…

(The hostess and the audience simultaneously say:)

All: The Dating Game!

Mikita: The “what” game?

Hostess: Okay now, on the other side of this wall, there are three fabulous guys waiting for the chance to be your Mr. Perfect.

Mikita: There's no such thing.

Hostess: Now, bachelor #1, what is your idea of a romantic evening?

Bachelor #1: (Italian accent) I'd cook her a fancy a meal in my own a restaurant. I'd pamper a her with the best of a care, and she wouldn't pay a penny.

Mikita: Hn.

Hostess: Okay, let's move on to bachelor #2.

Bachelor #2: (Hillbilly accent) I'd be a darned good husband. She'd be milady, y' know.

Mikita: No she wouldn't!

Hostess: Okay, Bachelor #3…

Bachelor #3: Hn, I don't date.

(Mikita seems to be considering the third bachelor, shaking her head like, “Hmm…”)

Bachelor #3: I don't even know how I got into this!

(Karasu, in the audience, whistles innocently again.)

Hostess: Okay, Bachelor #1, what kind of gifts would you shower your lady with?

Bachelor #1: I'd give a her the best of a meals to keep her a healthy and a well.

Mikita: You just want to make me fat.

Hostess: Okay, then how about you, bachelor #2?

Bachelor #2: Why I'd give up my own muffler for a fine lady like that.

Mikita: (Sarcastically) Charmed.

Hostess: Okay, Bachelor #3…

Bachelor #3: I ain't buyin' anything. I don't even want to be here!

Mikita: Well I don't either!

Hostess: Okay…

Mikita: And I'm going to kill you when all of this is over.

Hostess: Now. Now. Let's find the love.

Mikita: How about not.

Hostess: Okay, we've heard from all three bachelors and it's time to make a decision. Choose from one of these three mystery guys. Who's it going to be, Mikita? Is it going to be Bachelor #1, Bachelor #2, or Bachelor #3?

Mikita: No.

Hostess: Which one?

Mikita: NO.

Hostess: (Little louder) Which one?

Mikita: THREE! Okay! Three!

Hostess: You have chosen bachelor #3.

(The wall is removed and Inuyasha is standing there. Mikita is disappointed as her mouth drops.)

Mikita: The mutt?!

Hostess: This is Inuyasha, your—

Mikita: Yeah, I know who he is!

Hostess: As I was saying, this is your mystery date for this evening.

Miki/Inu: My what?!

Inuyasha: This wasn't in the job description!

Mikita: What job description?!

Inuyasha: I was paid to fill in for this dude who couldn't show up to play his part on this stupid show!

Mikita: Then why did you accept it?!

Inuyasha: Money was involved! So sue me!

Mikita: I think I will! And then, I'll kill you, along with the person who set me up for this!

Hostess: Okay then, how will this mystery date turn out? Tune in to next week's episode to find out. Thank you for watching and good night.



Please review and let me know what you think of this, and tell me if I should write more of this. Thank you. ^_^

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