Chapter 2 - chaptearl 1

Chapter 1. In which Earl is witness to graphic, blind, hair dryer violence and cape slashing.



“I'll raise you. And I call your hand.” Skully1 shoved a pile of finger bones into the pot.

“I'm out.” Blue shrugged, throwing his cards down and tossing his two femurs and a foot bone into the pot. “Moist, give me a tall one. What `bout you, Earlish?”

“Earl has a good hand. I'm staying. At least until it falls off.” I wiggled my wrist. “Hit me too, Moist.”

“But of course, my ugly-as-sin friend.” Moist's hair dryer-like weapon hovered over two empty glasses, then filled it with a glowing blue liquid.

“On the rocks” I added. “Earl prefers it on the rocks.”

“Earl, must you always use bad grammar?” Budget Cutz sniffed distastefully. “It's unbefitting for one of your station.”

“Budget Cutz will bite Earl.” I responded.

“Yo, I hear that my man,” Xvo nodded, “I raise ya, y'all. Ova' to ya, Def D., my man.”

“I hear ya, brotha'. I fold. I'm out, thanks to you!” Def D. slapped his cards on the table and shoved two leg bones over.

There was a bang, and our door flew open. More accurately, it fell open, as Moist's pub is in various states of decomposition. Someone dashed in, out of breath and having just been chased by a group of malicious fairies hell-bent on her demise.

“Help! I'm out of breath and I've just been chased by a group of malicious fairies hell-bent on my demise!” she panted.

“Were they Zolgas? Earl doesn't like Zolgas.” I growled. “Or Kelbeks. I don't like those either. Or Gyakutenno Megamis. Earl especially despises them because I can rarely pronounce their name correctly.”

“They were Zolgas. And if it helps, they're coming into your foyer.” the girl offered helpfully.

“First, it's not a foyer, it's a cul de sac. Second, I TOLD THOSE @!&#ing fairies to STAY OUT OF MY !@$#ing PUB!” Moist rose from behind the counter as the dramatic background music swelled. “Who's with me!”

(Insert noises of crickets chirping. Add tumbleweed)

“Fine, I'll do it myself.”



Five minutes of graphic, hair dryer violence and cape slashing later...

Skully, Blue, the girl, Budget Cutz, Xvo, Red, Def D. and I stood gaping at the scene of excessive-yet-entertaining violence in Moist's foyer-er-cul de sac. Nine shredded Zolgas lay in a heap beneath a triumphant pub owner.

“Verily I say unto thee, I am a triumphant pub owner!” Moist declared. One of the Zolgas, who's cape was bleached white, waved a napkin on a straw (holding it in his ((her?)) mouth).

“We shall return, and when we do, we're gonna bust your `cul de sac' when the light don't shine.” the leader vowed.

Moist turned the lights off. “Try me.” he taunted.



Five more minutes of blind, graphic, hair dryer violence and cape slashing later.



The straw rose in the air once more.



1Just so you know, all characters in this story are Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Skully is Summoned Skull. Blue is the Blue-Eyes, Moist is Moisture Creature, Maggie is the Magician of Faith, Earl is the Earl of Demise, Budget Cutz is Maju Garzett, Jinzo is Xvo (yo),Red Eyes B. Dragon is Red, Despair From the Dark is Def D., and the members of the Hell's Fairies gang are Zolgas. Oh, and this is indeed plagiarism. I'll be notifying you of any further appearances by Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and also the state of my plagiarism lawsuit.

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