Chapter 13 - Chapter 13, cuz since chapter 12 posted, I feel lu

*sniffles* I'm sad, because Witch Hunter Robin has ended. *weeps*

Bongo Bongo: Oh, for God's sake man, get over it.

Me: *blow* yeah, they'll probably make OVAs. I must write a letter to Sunrise asking for Witch Hunter Robin OVAs. You'll help, right Dandan?

Robin: *sigh* you're obsessed with that show, aren't you?

Me: Duh.

Anyway, weird babble between me, a big phantom beast thing, and my anime girlfriend aside, welcome to chapter 13! This is probably going to be my limiest chapter yet, complete with `morning after' humor, and then there's the beginning of the end for Lyserg. Mwahahaha!

Bongo: *Covers eye* Hoo boy, here he goes again.

Link: Hmm, hello Robin. *perverted look*

Me: *Pulls out scythes* DIE! *swings scythe at Link*

Link: AHH! Nayru's Love! *uses Nayru's Love; Scythes bounce off of it*

Robin: *sigh* I'm not interested. *Sets Link's tunic on fire.*

Link: AH! I'M NAKED!

Bongo: I'm out of here.*Floats away through a wall.*

Bahamut: Go back to your cross-dressing princess.

Me: GET OUT OF HERE! *Kicks Link through a wall.*

Uh, let's just start the chapter, shall we?

All other people: START WRITING, DAMMIT!

*urk!*I don't own Dandan's chara, including the annoying Alece, who appears here. Her spirit, Morphine, is like Chloe (Who was originally named Morphine), only pinker. *swats Chloe with a flyswatter*



A Brush with Death

Chapter 13:



“Oh my gods!” Dani squealed, clapping her hands. “Last night, I got to watch hot gay sex!”

Rei twitched slightly. “I did NOT need to hear that.” He groaned.

Rex grinned proudly and slung an arm around Basil. The four of them were enjoying early morning tea outside of their hotel, and Dani hadn't been able to stop talking about what she had witnessed the previous evening. Rex was grinning like the über-pervert that he was, Basil was snuggling against Rex, and Rei was contemplating murder.

Basil rubbed his butt. “Is it supposed to hurt this much after?” He asked Rex.

Rex nodded. “It goes away in a week.”

MEET!-AIM: I don't actually know when it goes away. The popular timeline seems to be a week…you know, the stuff about how they can't sit down for a week. And that came from the first Barry Trotter book. (It's a Harry Potter parody. It's very funny. You should read it.)-MEET!

“Morning.” Yoh said brightly, stretching. “So, what's for breakfast.”

“Dani's tongue, if she doesn't stop talking.” Rei muttered, but he was drowned out by Dani.

“And they didn't even have sheets over them!” she squealed. “I got to see everything!”

“Uh, what is she talking about?” Yoh asked, having missed the first four hours of the conversation.

“You don't want to know.” Rei said. “Dandan, enough with the sordid details. Some of us are trying to eat.”

“Rex has a really nice butt.” Dani said, ignoring him. “What exercise do you do?”

“More like who do I do.” Rex replied shamelessly. “The pelvic thrust does wonders for the @$$.”

MEET-AIM: Actually, I just made that up. But for all I know, it works…I dunno, I`m only 15.-MEET

“Lord.” Rei muttered. “I'm going to have to kill you both.” He said.

“Who was making all that noise last night?” Trey complained, lurching onto the patio. Korey floated behind him, barely able to keep her eyes open. “I barely slept.” The Ainu shaman grumbled.

Rei glared at Rex, who made a zipping gesture. “April must have been watching TV.” The Irish shaman said innocently

“No I wasn't” April said indignantly. “The noise was Basil getting his brains fu-”

“Language!” Rex coughed. April shut her mouth.

“So, are you two joining us?” Rei asked Yoh and Trey. “It's not like this conversation is that stimulating.”

“That depends on what your idea of stimulating is.” Rex, Basil and Dani said.

“Uh, sure…” Yoh said. He was about to sit down, when the chair exploded. “What the hell?”

“You have all mastered the arts of Zeke Asakura.” Marco said, his gun still smoking. “You must be destroyed, to purify the world.”

“Then why did you shoot the chair?” Dani asked.

Marco pointed his gun at the smoldering heap of metal. “That chair is a servant of Zeke Asakura.”

“You've got to be kidding me.” Rei muttered. “Now they attack chairs? I mean, sure, it's from IKEA, but even so that was a bit harsh.”

“Don't you people know when to quit?” Kyo asked tiredly, sticking his head around the sliding door. Various tired-looking rune dolls appeared beneath him. “It's like seven o'clock in the morning. Come back in an hour, would you?”

“Justice knows no time.” Marco replied.

Kyo raised his hand, like he was in school. “How can you say those lines with a straight face? Do you practice in front of a mirror until you can say it without laughing at yourself?”

Marco flushed, and pointed his gun at Kyo. “You are also a servant of Zeke!”
Kyo sighed. “Amano, send them flying.” He snapped his fingers as Marco pulled the trigger, and the beam of light slowed to a crawl.

“What are you doing?!” Marco demanded.

“Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to introduce my new friend.” Kyo said. “Meet Amano, a spirit of light.” The light beam shimmered, and shifted form into a western-style dragon. It swung its spiked tail, sending Marco flying.

“Divine Justice!” Lyserg's voice called, and Amano absorbed a beam from the newest X-Law's gun. The dragon roared, and flew up into the air.

“We'll take care of them, Kyo.” Rei said, standing up. Tolstoy and DaVinci stood up, their over souls forming over the bones.

“You bring skeletons to breakfast?” Trey asked. “Creepy.”

“You sleep with your snowboard.” Rei retorted. “Shall we get rid of this twerp?”

Trey grinned, and activated his over soul. “I look forwards to it.” He swung his ikku-pasi. “Extreme Icequake!”

Lyserg jumped, narrowly avoiding the sharp ice spires, only to find Tolstoy behind him.

“Hello.” The skeleton said cheerfully, ramming the tip of his scythe into Lyserg's back. Lyserg flew forwards, winded, and rolled to avoid DaVinci's halberd, which was now fused to the second skeleton's arm.

“Kyo, keep an eye on Marco, would you?” Rei asked, as he delivered a blow to Lyserg's chest. The English shaman gasped for breath, trying to draw his gun, until it was kicked away by Trey.

“Sure.” Kyo replied, holding out Kita's doll. “Shockwave.”

Marco and Lyserg collided with opposite walls, their guns lying in the middle of the clearing.

“Morphine!” A familiar child-like voice cried. Kita and Amano dissolved as they were sliced apart by some mysterious force.

“Oh no, not you.” Dani groaned.

Alece grinned from her perch atop the room. The Swedish shaman was wearing her usual bright clothes, and irritating grin. “Hmm, no Faust?” she asked.

“STAY AWAY FROM FAUST!” Dani shouted. “Akumu: Skull Smasher!” she ordered.

“Righto, Dani.” Akumu said, jumping through the roof and aiming the staff towards Alece.

“Chloe: Stockholm Syndrome!” Alece barked. A pink fairy flew towards Akumu.

“Chloe?” Lyserg asked. He gasped, as he saw his ex-spirit partner flying towards Akumu.

“Avoid that thing, Akumu!” Morty shouted. “If it touches her, she'll be possessed by Morphine!” Akumu performed an acrobatic flip, deftly avoiding Chloe.

“What?” Dani demanded, flipping through a pocket dictionary to the `mo' section. “She'll be possessed by a narcotic drug used to relieve pain?”

“Stockholm Syndrome: A captive bonds with their captor. I've read about Alece.” Morty said, holding up his laptop. “She's infamous in Sweden, because she's never been defeated.”
“So?” Rei asked, kicking Lyserg in the shins. “Neither have Dandan or myself.”

“Alece cheats:” Morty explained. “Her guardian ghost, Morphine, possesses the opponent's spirit, and uses it against them. Alece has got an entire army of stolen ghosts.”

“And Eliza is my next target.” Alece said sweetly. “If I control Eliza, I control Faust.”

Dani shouted several unprintable words at Alece, and then jumped up and punched the pink-haired girl in the face. Alece reeled, and fell off of her perch.



Robin: Hey, that's not conclusive!

Bongo: *Rolls eye* Oh no, not another one of these stupid two-part chapters.

Me: Hey! I stated clearly that it was the BEGINNING OF THE END for Lyserg. Not THE END for Lyserg.

Robin: *reads intro* He has a point, Bongo.

Bongo: Whatever. I'm hungry. *drifts off in search of cookies*

Me: *shouts after Bongo* I'm calling you Cookie Monster from now on!

Bongo: Try it!

Me: *raspberry-blowing noise*



So, what did you think of the abuse of Alece-the-Annoying, Dandan? Enjoy!

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