Chapter 1 - Baptism by Fire

NOTE: EKYT IS GOING TO ASSUME THE NAME “DR. DANIEL HOLMES” for the series when talking with people.

The college kid hit a snag in his life. He asked for an appointment with Dr. Lisa Cuddy, the head of the hospital.

Dressed in a black suit, with coat and a red tie over a white shirt, the college kid (Now EKYT!) knocked on Dr. Cuddy door. “Come in.” She sounded hassled.

“House, for the last time. Yes, you have to do clinic duty. No, you can’t perform the MRI on the person with the metal plate in her neck.” “You’re cute when you’re angry.” House said, making a puppy-dog face. “Out, House. I’ve got a meeting with a patient and a staff member.” Ekyt strode into the room. “Dr. House.” “You’re the practical-joke happy kid. Better watch your back Cuddy.” Lisa pointed at the door. “Out.” House limped out.

Cuddy shook her head. “Ekyt, I’m surprised you needed to see me. What can I do for you?” She could see the young man was troubled. “I can’t handle any more school right now. I need to change my major anyway. But that’s the problem. I want to help. I’m a security guard, but I want to be more than that. I know you can’t take me if I’m not a doctor, but.” “Slow down.” Cuddy smiled at him. “You’re a great kid, and I have no doubt you’ll go far in whatever field you choose.” This is where I get fired… Ekyt thought. “That’s why I want you here.” Cuddy finished with a smile. Ekyt looked up at her. “I CAN help you, if you’re willing to do me a favor.” “Of course, name it.” Ekyt responded. “Give a speech on anxiety disorder to this grade school.” Ekyt didn’t really see how that would help, but he agreed. “Come see me when you’re done.”

Dr. Robert Chase, an Australian fellow with wavy blonde hair and a boyish look, stared at his laptop. “You’re kidding.” He muttered in his thick accent. “What?” asked Dr. Allison Cameron. “This new patient…54 years old…acute obsessive compulsive disorder…he’s coming in with a leg that’s hurting for no apparent reason.” “So?” Cameron asked, taking a sip from the mug of coffee in her hand. “He’s being transferred to us in a sedated state because he can’t accept new environments…he lives at home with his 80 year old mother, never held a job…” Cameron felt her heart kind of thud. “Poor guy…” “Since we’re short a neurologist, I’ll handle this. Can you write up a report for House?” “Yeah…” Cameron answered, distracted.

Cuddy bustled into the room. “Cameron, do you remember the college student you used for that April Fools joke on Chase?” Cameron laughed at the memory (See the pilot episode). “Yeah, why?” “He was just in my office, nearly in tears. Things aren’t working out for him. So I need to ask…”

House limped down to the cafeteria to meet Doctor James Wilson, an oncologist, and House’s only friend. They moved through the line, piling the crappy food on their trays. “Cuddy’s on my case again. Something about “Doing my job right.” Wilson coolly informed House that “You haven’t filled out a clinical report in two years, and you treat the patients like crap.” House retorted by saying “That wasn’t in the job description. This job, much like your marital problems, can get tiring.” Wilson shook his head in exasperation. “House, you butt into my personal life, and then complain about it? My last wife bought so much Pravda, I was nearly broke.” “You wouldn’t know a Pravda shoe if it kicked you in the scrotum.” House spat.

The students clapped at the end of the speech. Ekyt gave them a small smile. Afterward, he was pulled aside by the principal. “If you wouldn’t mind, could you give me the address of the hospital you work at?” Ekyt did. “Maybe you could run a “Coping with Anxiety” group.” Ekyt thanked him for the praise and headed back to the hospital.

“Chase, do you have a moment?” Cuddy asked. “Sure, what’s the problem?” “I need to ask you something about the college kid that Cameron used to play that joke on you.” Chase rolled his eyes. “Just answer honestly. And DON’T tell House.”

Chase helped the 54 year old man, “Bob”, and his mother in. Bob was shaking and repeating that he “Couldn’t do it. It’s wrong.” “It’s okay, we’re going to help Bob. Just take it easy.” Chase wheeled his wheelchair to the elevator, while Bob kept yelling he couldn’t do it and that “The whole place is dirty! Help me mom!”

Ekyt returned to Cuddy’s office. He didn’t know what to expect. “Come in.” He stepped inside. Cuddy got up from behind the desk. “These are for you. But there’s more.” They were letters of recommendation from Dr. Robert Chase and Dr. Allison Cameron, for a position in their diagnostics department. The confusion was plainly written on Ekyt’s face. Cuddy smiled broadly and handed him an official-looking paper. “Congratulations…Doctor.” Ekyt stared at his honorary doctorate for his speech about living with anxiety. “You start tomorrow, and report to Doctor House. Any que-..” Her beeper went off. “You start now, by helping Chase restrain a patient. Welcome to your baptism by fire Ekyt. Glad to have you.” “Thank you.” Cuddy handed him a pager and a long white lab coat. “Third floor, sterile rooms.”

House felt his pager go off. “Gotta go. The kids need me.” He said sarcastically. He left and limped away at top speed, leaving a flustered Dr. Wilson to take care of the check.

Chase was wrestling a bucking patient into his bed. “I need that Epidural!” Chase barked. Ekyt raced in and managed to grab one of the patients flailing arms as the needle was put it. The patient kept flailing. “It’s subconscious! He’s having a seizure! Pad his tongue! Get me the Trileptal!” Chase yelled to the nurses. Cameron raced in next. The sedatives were taking hold, and the Trileptal. “Concussion from the fall.” Chase confirmed as Cameron checked the man’s eye lids for a difference in pupil size.

House barged into Cuddy’s office. “I’m not taking him.” House said flatly. “Yes, you are. He’s gotten letters of recommendation from myself, Chase, and Cameron. You’re out a neurologist, and you have no bedside manner.” “He’s not a neurologist! He’s a psych case himself!” “Then he knows how to deal with it better than anyone! House, for once, trust me. If nothing else, give him the crap work you used to heap on Foreman.”

(Doctor Eric Foreman, neurologist, left for another job.)

Chase and Ekyt, sweaty from the effort of restraining the patient, both their ties loose, pushed into House’s office. “Fifty-Four years old, Acute OCD, unexplained leg pain, and seizures.” Chase informed House and Cameron. House wrote the symptoms on his white board. “You.” He pointed at Ekyt. “You’ve got clinic duty.” Ekyt nodded and left the room. “Okay, for you remaining doctors. What would account for all of these symptoms?” “The OCD is self-explanatory, maybe the seizures were a reaction from the violent environment change, or a reaction to the combined medication.” Chase offered. “That doesn’t explain the leg pain.” protested Cameron. “Are you mocking me?” House asked sternly, holding up his cane. Cameron, taken aback, “No, I was just…” “Kidding. I was kidding. Chase, you break into the house and check for toxins. Cameron, you get a medical history. I’ve got nude pictures to organize.”

Ekyt walked out into the clinic. Cuddy looked surprised to see him. “House gave you clinic duty. And, wonder of wonders, these are his hours.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “Well, there shouldn’t be anything that doesn’t take common sense. I’ll leave you to it. If there’s a problem, page me.” “Gotcha.”

Ekyt had exam room three. A mother walked in with her young son. “He keeps coughing, and won’t stop. Sneezing, and a fever.” Ekyt looked at the kid. “Okay, raise your shirt, let me hear your heart.” Ekyt listened with a stethescope. Nothing out of the ordinary. The kid coughed again. “Have you given him any medication?” Ekyt asked. The mother seemed surprised. “No, I never thought of it.” Ekyt began to realize why House hated clinic duty. “Try Robitussin. It’s over the counter at any drugstore.” He wrote down the name. “Thank you.”

House barged into Bob’s room. Bob pulled the covers over his face. “I’m Dr. House, I’m in charge of your case.” House held out his hand. Bob couldn’t take his hand, which House knew ahead of time. “We’re going to schedule you for an Angiogram.” Bob shook, and smoothed the covers on his bed. “What’s an Angiogram?” “It’s where he stick a tube in your leg and see what’s hurting you.” House said, sarcastically. “No! No! I can’t do it!” “I figured this would happen.” House pulled out a syringe and jabbed into the man. “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM?” his mother yelled. “I tranquilized him.”

Another patient walked into exam room three. “Hi, um, I have this rash…” “Okay, where, and how long have you had it?” “It’s on my…you know…I’ve had it for a week or so…” The man dropped his pants. Ekyt squeezed his eyes shut, REALLY hating this. “Hmm. Okay, have you scratched at it?” “Yes.” “When did this appear.” “I’m not sure when exactly, but after my friends and I went skinny-dipping.” “Where did you go?” “It’s a hidden swamp.” “What you have there is a mosquito bite. Try some Caladryl (sp).

Ekyt was ready for his next patient when Cuddy came it. “You’re needed in diagnostics after lunch. I’ll handle the rest of clinic duty. Why don’t you take a lunch break? I’ve arranged for Dr. Wilson to show you around.”

Dr. James Wilson is an oncologist for the hospital. “You must be Ekyt. You’re working with House and you haven’t quit yet?” “He’s smart. I could learn a lot. But I can see why’d you say that.” “Yeah. So, what’s your title?” “Good question. I work in diagnostics, but I’m not a doctor, save for an honorary doctorate. I guess I’m supposed to be the bedside manner.” Wilson considered this. “What area are you interested in?” “Neurology…that, and pediatrics.” “Hmm…Oh, I’ve got to congratulate you for that awesome practical joke on Chase! It had all of us in tears.” “It was all Dr. Cameron, I was just the bait.” He laughed. “Tell me though…what do you think of Cameron?” Ekyt didn’t hesitate to say, “She’s beautiful, intelligent, and taken.” Wilson laughed again as they both dove in to their sandwiches. “She thinks a lot of you…Chase too. I can see why. Wait…that twitch…you have anxiety problems, don’t you?” Ekyt nodded in the affirmative. They finished their crappy hospital food. “If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask me.” “Thanks…” “Call me Wilson. We all go by last names here. I already heard from Cuddy that you go by “Ekyt,” which we’ve already picked up isn’t your real name. Welcome to the team.”

“Concussion, OCD, not related to the seizure and the hurt leg. What caused a seizure and a hurt leg?” House asked his team. Ekyt and Wilson rejoined them. “Cancer?” Wilson offered. “Came back negative.” Chase answered. “Blood clot?” House offered, looking at Cameron. “Aniogram was negative.” Ekyt looked at House. “Boy wonder has a guess?” House asked in mock amazement. “Well…what if this wasn’t his first seizure…He could have had one he wasn’t aware of, and banged his leg up. Since the guy has been from hospital to hospital in that cast, it’s likely his muscles atrophied.” Cameron, Chase, and Wilson looked amazed. “Good guess…and not entirely wrong…he had a seizure he didn’t know about. His mother saw it happen in his sleep. He banged his leg, but it had healed. The muscles atrophied, but that doesn’t account for the pain.” Ekyt and Wilson sat down, staring at the white board. “A small break that the MRI missed?” Ekyt suggested. “No, the MRI would’ve gotten that. It’s more likely diabetes. He doesn’t eat right or exercise.” Chase argued. House suddenly rapped his cane on the table. “The OCD won’t allow him to change his routine…he probably eats the same thing at the same time every night. Let’s see…new guy, go break into his house.” Cameron objected. “House, he’s never done that before!” “Fine, you go with him. Chase, you try to get more information out of the Monk wannabe. I’m going to tell his mother that the diabetes is going to kill her son’s leg if he doesn’t start eating right. Wilson…how about getting me a sandwich?” Wilson rolled his eyes, but walked out.

“We’ll take my car.” Cameron said to Ekyt. “Good. I don’t drive.” He returned, looking rueful. “The anxiety?” “Yeah. If I have a muscle spasm while I’m driving, I might hurt someone…or worse.” Cameron really gave the kid credit for trying to live a normal life. As if he sensed it, Ekyt apologized. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to complain. I’m one of the lucky ones.” “You’re entitled to complain, it’s not an easy thing to deal with.” “That means a lot…” “Call me Cameron.” “It means a lot Cameron. People either don’t believe me, don’t want to help me, or don’t know how to help me. This is the place.” Ekyt pointed at a brown house. “Do you have a credit card?” He asked Cameron.

Bob’s mother, Grace, was sitting at his bedside. “Good news, bad news time. Good news: We know what’s wrong. Bad news: He’s out a leg. More bad news: You have to change his diet, or risk death.” “He won’t change his diet. And there’s nothing wrong with it besides. Now, what do you plan to do with his leg?” “Well, I’m going to have it cut off.” “You can’t!” the woman exclaimed, hysterical. “That or he dies, your choice. I’d say “I’ll wait” but by then the disease will have made the decision. I can give you two hours.”

Ekyt borrowed a credit card from Cameron. After a minute of poking at it, he jimmied the lock open. “You take the kitchen, I’ll take the bedrooms.” Cameron dictated. “Okay.”

The house was immaculate. That was a sign of OCD for sure. Cameron browsed the bedroom, finding nothing out of the ordinary. “These people live in a sterile environment.” Cameron commented. “That rules out infection.” “I’m going to take a water sample, and…Cameron, check this out!” Ekyt had opened a cupboard. Bags and bags of chocolate had fallen out. “Diabetes?” he asked. “Unless the water is bad. Let’s get this stuff back to House.”

Ekyt and Cameron returned. Chase looked frustrated. “He wouldn’t talk to me at all. I kind of lost my temper at the end.’ Ekyt handed over the chocolate and water sample. “The amount of chocolate and it’s sugar content would indicate diabetes. The water looks clean, but I think it’s best to run a tox screen.” House gimped his way in. “Well, anything little gerbils?” “Chocolate. Tons of it.” Cameron handed him the back. “This is so sudden. Wait, you were hitting on me, right? You naughty little thing!” “And here’s a sample of the tap water, we’re going to screen it for toxins.” “Good, do that. Chocolate indicates diabetes. If that’s the case, he loses his leg in less than two hours.” House pointed his cane at Ekyt. “You go talk to the guy. You’re the “bedside manner” here. Cuddy’s pet.” House muttered. As Ekyt left, Cameron shot a look at House. “What?” House asked. “How about giving him a little respect? He’s working hard.” House pointed at his file cabinet. “See all those?” “Yeah.” “This is my “respectful” drawer. I’m sure I put his name in there…” “House, don’t be an @$$!” “Sorry, born this way.” House took a couple more Vicodin. Cameron shook her head, but went back to work.

Ekyt met Wilson outside. “He’s always a wiseass isn’t he?” Ekyt asked. “Oh boy. What’d he do?” “Apparently, I’m “Cuddy’s pet.”” Wilson laughed. “He says that about everyone who tries do their job the right way, by the book. Let me guess: He gave you his clinic hours.” “Yeah. He had Cameron and I break into a house, and now I’ve got to talk to this guy.” Wilson laughed. “I’m sorry, that just is House, dead-on.” Wilson walked with Ekyt to the room. “Well, good luck.” “Um, I’m supposed to use a different name…you were right about Ekyt not being my real name. I’m supposed to call myself “Dan Holmes.” (NOTE- NOT MY REAL NAME, LOL) Ekyt’s pager went off. He looked at the text, his face falling. “Damn.” “What?” “I’ve got to tell him that if we don’t cut his leg off, he’s dying.” “Isn’t that House’s job? Never mind. Do you want any help?” Wilson asked. “Would you mind just observing, and let me know how I did? House says you tell people their dying all the time and they actually thank you. In more ways than one?” Ekyt raised a questioning eyebrow. “House…is just as God made him. A bastard.” Ekyt laughed slightly, then knocked on the door.

“Come in.” A woman’s voice rang out, with a morbid tone. Ekyt, er “Dr. Holmes”, walked in. “You’re Mrs. Lowell?” “Yes.” “I’m Dr. Dan Holmes. I need to speak with you and Bob.” “Of course. You seem to be a damn sight better than that “House” person.” Wilson had to look away, coughing suspiciously. “I’m sorry. The diabetes test came back positive. We have to amputate his leg.” “NO!” “I understand why you’re upset. But, please, if he doesn’t lose his leg, he’ll lose his life.” Ekyt made firm eye contact with her. The woman was crying. “I know this his hard, but we need your consent.”

(IF YOU WATCH HOUSE, YOU KNOW THAT THEY ALWAYS PLAY MUSIC AT THE END DURING THE FINAL SCENES. SO I’LL HAVE A TRACK PICKED OUT AND IT’S BEGINNING AND END POINT.)

(Start track: Teardrop by Massive Attack)

House watched as they wheeled Bob into surgery. Dr. Cameron, Dr. Chase, and Dr. Wilson would be performing it. He spun his cane around, twirling it between his fingers. He watched them administer the anesthesia. House heard footsteps. His new intern, he guessed, Ekyt, walked down the hallway, watching the surgery. “Morbid situations turn you on?” House asked. “Dr. Holmes” shook his head. “No. I just came to congratulate you on being right.” “I know. Why don’t you do your job, and go comfort the grieving mother.” House said, still watching the surgery. Dr. Holmes nodded. “I’ll do that. Here. As a thanks for putting up with me.”

House opened the package. It contained a collapsible cane. It was obviously expensive. House took a couple exploratory laps with it. His journey led him to where Dr. Holmes was comforting the mother. He watched as the new “doctor” held her hand as they started to saw at the bone. House grimaced inwardly, but limped away.

(End track)

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