Chapter 17 - Out of the Ordinary

“Excellent, Sakura! Apprehending an A-ranked criminal!” Tsunade stamped a scroll with her seal, and dropped it on her desk.

“C-criminal? Ekyt-kun?!” Sakura suddenly felt as though a sharp knife had lodged itself in her abdomen.

“Yes. He disobeyed my orders, fought my subordinates, and could have caused an international crisis. His apprehension means that the boy we’re after can’t be far behind.” Tsunade cupped her chin in her hands. Shizune left her side, to comfort Sakura.

“You’re wrong. I’m sorry I ever did what you said! Count me out from now on! I want nothing to do with you! How do I know you won’t turn on me next?!” Sakura wailed, tears in her eyes.

“Sakura, enough.”

Ekyt was tied up in the corner. He had gotten to his feet, but a thick coil of chain had been wrapped around his arms, and he had been blindfolded.

“You did what you had to do. Don’t sever such an important tie. I’ve accomplished my mission. Even if we aren’t comrades anymore…we’re still friends. And take my word as a friend- don’t just leave things like that.” Ekyt tried to smile. “Of course, we’re only friends if you WANT to be.”

“Listen to him, Sakura. He knows first-hand,” Tsunade supplied.

“And you, Lady Fifth…how many people are you going to drive away, before you’re ready to admit you made a mistake? Being human doesn’t make you weak. Legends have erred before…” Ekyt kept his voice calm, and that was what threw Tsunade off. He continued while she sputtered.

“Well, whatever my sentence is, I’ll live with it. Or, die with it. Tell me- am I facing execution?”

“What?! No, jail time, but not execution!” Tsunade couldn’t believe he asked that.

“Then I’m facing execution, because if you lock me up, I’ll kill myself. But, why wait? You could just as easily kill me…or order it. You’d better decide quickly…” Ekyt felt with his hands for the window frame. Once he found it, he sat on it. If he had been bound with rope, he could have escaped. But chain? All but impossible without help. The blindfold, though, Ekyt could get rid of. If he did that, then he could run for it.

“Don’t jump!” Sakura protested. Ekyt caught his blindfold on the window frame, prying it off.

“Oh, I’m jumping!” Ekyt leapt down to the ground below, and hit it running full speed.

“Damn that kid! Uh…I wish he was back, pulling escapes against Orochimaru, instead of me!” Tsunade declared. “Hayate! Go get him, please.”

Hayate looked Tsunade in the eyes. “(koff) I can’t. I knew him before you. He’s like (koff) my little brother.”

This time, Tsunade just sighed. She got up herself and ran from the room.

Ekyt…I’m sorry! I never knew how much hell you could cause! And I want you back on my side! If Tsunade could just say that out loud her problems would be solved.

--

Sai and Katsuyori were hidden in a strange sewer-like system.

“Where are we, Sai-san?” Katsuyori asked.

“I used to live here. My brother and I. But no one comes here anymore, and my brother is dead.” Sai smiled, but it was the fake one. Katsuyori knew it was fake, but he had also picked up that Sai was a different type of person.

“Thank you for saving me. I hope Ekyt is okay…” Katsuyori wondered if he had inadvertently sent his best friend to his death.

“Ekyt-kun will be fine. He’s seen tougher than this. Although, his emotions may be a problem…”

--

Ekyt ran down the street, finally ducking into Ichiraku.

“Ekyt? What the hell is going on? Tsunade was here, looking for you, and she’s as upset as I’ve ever seen her!” Teuchi told Ekyt.

“Teuchi, there’s no time. Can you hide me, or find a locksmith? I need to get out of these damn chains! They’ve sentenced an innocent boy to death, and I can’t Tsunade get him!”

Teuchi’s daughter, Ayame, was one of the kindest (And nicest looking) girls in the village. She immediately sympathized with Ekyt.

“Come on, back here! Hurry! Daddy, I’ll go find the locksmith! Ekyt, you stay hidden, okay?”

“Thank you, Ayame. It really means a lot.” Ekyt bowed his thanks, and ducked into the back store room. Teuchi followed him.

“Here, hide up there!” Teuchi slid a panel on the ceiling back; normally, it was used to fix the venting system, but right now it was the ideal hiding spot. Ekyt jumped up and slithered his way inside. Teuchi replaced the panel, leaving Ekyt in the dark, but safe, for the moment.

--

Ayame returned with the locksmith.

“Remember, you can’t tell ANYONE about this,” Ayame reminded him.

“Don’t worry, Ayame, I won’t say a word.” The locksmith promised. Ayame helped Ekyt down from the ceiling. The locksmith looked at the lock, measured it, then took up a chisel.

“This oughta do it…” BANG! The lock clattered to the floor.

“Thank you! Here you are!” Ekyt handed over WAY more Ryo than was necessary, but it was part bribe.

“You didn’t see me, right?” Ekyt asked the man, who counted the money.

“Hell, you don’t exist for this kind of bread!”

“Glad to hear it,” Ekyt said with a smirk. Next, he bowed to Ayame. “Thank you so much. You and your father have done so much for me. I left a ‘thanks’ near the flour. Please thank your father for me, I’ve got to go!”

“Good luck, Ekyt-san!” Ayame kissed Ekyt on the cheek. He blushed, but then ducked out the back door. Ayame smiled after him.

(giggle) That boy…Now he’s playing ‘criminal’. Well, I guess he IS one now. Wonder if he can pull of the roguish grin that makes those bad boys so attractive?

--

Ekyt ran down the street, ducking behind trees and trash cans whenever someone he didn’t know or trust walked by. Much to his dismay, Ekyt felt a kunai around his neck. Then snakes wound around him, binding his arms to the side.

“Well, our little fugitive! You know, I REALLY hate lawbreakers…” Anko made a small cut on Ekyt’s cheek with her kunai. She lapped up the blood, her tongue grazing Ekyt’s cheek, like she was some vampire.

“Anko-sensei, believe me, I do, too. But I hate sending people to their deaths even more. If you turn me in, a little boy may pay the price with his life.”

Anko dragged Ekyt into the shadows of a building, out of the public eye.

“So, it’s life or death for that kid, huh? No one told me. Well, I can’t fault you for trying to protect him. You got that cut shaving, understand?” Anko held Ekyt in place.

“Right. Shaving,” Ekyt repeated. “What else do you want?” Ekyt resigned himself to the fact he was going to owe Anko something.

“You and me, once your name is cleared. All I can eat dumplings, your treat.”

“It’s a deal,” Ekyt said hurriedly. Anko let go.

“Alright, for that price, I didn’t see you just now. You’d better watch it, a lot of the jonin are on alert for you. You’d better be alive for me to cash in on my payment…” Damn, I’m such a soft touch! It’s a wonder I’m single!

--

“Don’t move!”

“This just isn’t my day!” Ekyt sighed, putting his hands up. God only knew what weapon Tenten had to the back of his neck right now.

“You found him very quickly, Neji!” came Lee’s voice.

“My Byakugan is a sure thing. There is no room for error when dealing with a class-A criminal.” Neji’s smug voice greeted Ekyt’s ears next.

“On your knees, Ekyt! I can’t believe you’d do something like this!” Tenten ordered/exclaimed.

“I did it to save a boy’s life. The boy from the Mist village…he’s set to be deported, and then executed. I couldn’t let that happen. Do what you need to me…” Ekyt gave up.

“Turn around!” Tenten ordered. “We’re not heartless, you know. I figured you had a reason. I’ve heard of the boy…the poor family is hysterical…” Tenten lowered her weapon regretfully.

“Just hurry up and go.” Tenten looked to the side. Lee turned away. Neji hesitated, but turned his back as well.

“Thank you…You saved a life today. Maybe two. Because I’ll slit my own throat if I’m put in a jail cell…” Ekyt rook off at a run. That was when he felt something on his leg. A slug?

Damn…Tsunade will be coming…I’ve got to ditch this slimy tattle-tale! Ekyt looked around, seeing the dumpling shop. He ran toward it, opening the back door. A big bag of salt…perfect.

Now I’m stealing…I’m screwed either way. I’d rather save the kid…gotta do this…and become everything I despise… Ekyt tore open the bag of salt with his teeth, as all his weapons had been taken. Ekyt grabbed the slug and stuffed it into the pile of salt on the floor. It started to shrivel, and hopefully, Tsunade’s ‘radar’ shriveled with it.

--

Hiding in the sewer, Ekyt pondered what to do. Can’t go to the kid…I might be leading Tsunade right to them, if that damn slug put a scent on me…I need a change of clothes…a disguise…and a transformation. But fresh clothes first, to lose that slug’s scent.

Ekyt snuck into the last place anyone would look- Naruto’s apartment. On his way up, he wondered who to transform into. Then it hit him.

Those chains…they must have sapped my chakra! Leave it to the Queen of slugs and elixirs to do that…can’t believe I didn’t notice until now…

Ekyt slipped in the window. He found Naruto sitting on his bed, staring at him.

“Naruto? Oh, damn!” Ekyt made to leap out the window, but found Shadow Clones blocking him.

“Ekyt, relax! I’m not going to turn you in. I quit the mission, believe it! Why are you here?”

“Naruto, this is going to sound strange, and make me a real criminal, but I was going to steal a set of your clothes. We’re almost the same height…Tsunade bugged me before I left, and that stupid slug left a scent on my old clothes.”

Naruto rummaged around in his drawers, finding a clean pair of orange pants, a black shirt, and an orange and black jacket. Finally, he tossed a pair of sandals to Ekyt.

“I’ve got an idea! Transform into me, and I’ll transform into the Pervy Sage!” Naruto declared. “It’s foolproof, ‘tabeyo!”

Ekyt nodded. “Transform!” Ekyt became Naruto.

“Don’t forget to talk like Master Jiraiya. And I’ll talk like you. Thanks again, Naruto! I owe you, big time!”

--

Ekyt/Naruto walked outside. To his surprise, he saw Sakura outside the door.

“Hey, Sakura-chan!” Ekyt remembered he LOOKED like Naruto. For a moment, he almost told Sakura who he really was, but something held him back. He couldn’t trust her anymore.

“Naruto…I…I need to tell you something. I did something really bad. I tricked Ekyt, and captured him. I didn’t know what he was doing. Now I don’t think I can trust Lady Tsunade anymore, and I know Ekyt will probably never forgive me…” Sakura looked as sad as Ekyt had ever seen.

“Hey, it’s not that bad! Ekyt’ll know you didn’t mean it, Believe it!” Ekyt/Naruto had a hard time playing Naruto’s part. But at least it gave him a chance to boost Sakura’s spirits.

Sakura smiled. “I envy you, Naruto. You’ve always got such optimism. I guess that’s why I need to tell you…I think I really like you…”

This, of course, hit Ekyt like a kunai in the heart. So, she’s in love with Naruto. Naruto’s still in there…what would Naruto do in a situation like this, to step out for a second? I know!

“Sakura-chan…I…ohhh…oh, man, my stomach, it feels like it’s gonna burst, ‘tebayo! I’ll be right back! Don’t go anywhere!” Ekyt/Naruto ran into ‘his’ apartment

--Inside

“Naruto, you’ve got to go out there, as you! Here, I’LL be Master Jiraiya. Sakura’s got to talk to you!” Ekyt couldn’t say why, obviously, but he could have sworn Sakura was going to kiss him. If she was going to kiss him, he wanted her to KNOW who she was kissing.

“Okay! Here, um, the Pervy Sage dropped this, he heh, if you’re going to play his part, you’ve gotta do it right!”

Naruto handed Ekyt a spyglass. Ekyt stared at it in exasperation, but didn’t see an alternative. He would have to find Sai and Katsuyori as the ‘Pervy Sage’.

--Outside

“Hehe, sorry. Bad milk or something,” Naruto said sheepishly. “Now, where were we?”

Sakura looked away. “I said I really liked you, Naruto. After all the time we’ve spent together…I was hoping you still liked me…”

“Are you kidding?! You’re only the hottest kunoichi around, dattebayo!” Naruto replied with his typical enthusiasm.

“ (blush) Thanks, Naruto! Do you want to…to go eat together? At Ichiraku?”

“Hell yeah! Oh…wait…I think I’m broke… -_-‘” But to Naruto’s surprise, he found money in his pocket. Thanks, pervy samurai! Naruto knew full well that Ekyt had dropped the money in his pocket.

--

Ekyt walked down the street, making sure to take long looks at pretty women. He felt like an @$$ doing in, but if he was going to play the ‘Pervy Sage’, he had to do it right. His chakra hadn’t returned enough to perform another jutsu yet. There was to be a flaw in his plan, anyway, as it turned out.

“YOU!”

Ekyt couldn’t believe this. NO ONE could have THIS much bad luck in such a short time. But it was happening.

“DAMN IT, JIRAIYA! I TOLD YOU TO CUT OUT THE PEEPING!” Tsunade came toward Ekyt, her fist cocked back.

“It’s not ‘peeping’! It’s research!” Ekyt/Jiraiya responded quickly, then spoke TOO fast, before he could think. In that respect, it was something worthy of Jiraiya. “You reconsidered being in the starring role in my next book, Tsunade? You’ve still got the looks! He he he! I just need an eyeful, and I can write all night long!”

Tsunade’s eyes turned white. Inside, Ekyt winced. BAM! A punch rocketed him away. Just because he LOOKED like Jiraiya, didn’t mean that his real body didn’t feel pain.

“Damn Perv! Wait…something’s wrong…Release!” Tsunade had figured it out. It had been Ekyt there the whole time. Now that she saw him, there would be hell to pay.

“So…that’s how you hid so long…” Tsunade mused.

Ekyt nodded. I’m not ratting out everyone who helped me…if she wants to think I posed as Jiraiya for this long, let her think that.

“Do you intend to arrest me?” Ekyt asked, resigned.

“I do. Do YOU intend to resist?” Tsunade replied.

“I do,” Ekyt shot back.

“You fool! You can’t beat a legend! Just give up, I don’t want to have to hurt you!” Tsunade found she meant it, too.

“You’re going to have to hurt me. I’m not giving up. And it was clever of you to neutralize my chakra with those chains, AND plant that tattle-tale slug on me. I’ve had a horrible time avoiding you for this long.”

“Why are you wearing Naruto’s clothes?” Tsunade demanded. Ekyt forgot he had been wearing them. Figuring he had already pissed away his morals, Ekyt looked Tsunade right in the eye and lied.

“I stole them. I broke into Naruto’s apartment and stole the clothes, so I could lose the scent your slug left on me.” Ekyt hated this; he was now everything he hated, and everything he fought against.

“Well, if you’re not going to settle this peacefully, I have no choice but to use force!” Tsunade darted forward, smashing the ground. Ekyt leapt up and away just in time, as Tsunade’s fist sent earth flying everywhere. Ekyt landed, and Tsunade began to throw punches. Ekyt parried punch after punch, moving backward. Out of the bottom of his eyes, Ekyt saw Tsunade’s footwork change. Sure enough, as Ekyt kept moving backward, Tsunade side-kicked forward. All Ekyt could do was hit the dirt, then watch in amazement as Tsunade cut straight through a tree.

“If you’re waiting for me to fight back, you’re going to be waiting a long time! I’ve done enough wrong, hitting the Hokage is a charge I don’t need,” Ekyt told Tsunade, as she continued her attacks.

“Then you’re going to lose! Doesn’t that matter to you?!” Tsunade fired back.

“Sure it does. But, the more you’re mixing it up with me, the less you’re focusing on catching your REAL target. I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that I’m just wasting time for his getaway.”

“Why do you care so much? He’s just some kid! Death is part of the Shinobi life; I know better than anyone! I’ll give you credit for having a huge set, standing up to me. But if you keep getting in my way, I will remove that ‘set’. Get my drift?” Tsunade was really trying to stay calm. Removing Ekyt’s ‘manhood’ might soothe her anger, but ultimately accomplish nothing.

“I care because it’s the right thing to do. Lady Tsunade, if you send him to the Mist village, he dies. He’s like…me. He doesn’t fit in, but he tries his best to live his life. I’ve won over most of the village; he has almost no one in his corner. I can’t let you send him to his death. And I won’t. Even if it means fighting you…it’s the right thing to do, and that’s what the Leaf Village has always stood for!”

Tsunade darted forward and hit Ekyt in the face, sending him into a building, cracking the foundation. The building began to wobble, and then it fell. Ekyt had nowhere to go…

--

Sakura and Naruto, on their first date, saw the whole thing. They nodded to each other, and ran to help Ekyt.

“Shadow Clone Jutsu!” Naruto’s clones broke away at the stone with the Rasengan. Sakura reared back and punched as hard as she could. They chipped away, but didn’t find Ekyt.

“You can stop…I made it away…” Ekyt told them both. Suddenly, he staggered slightly.

“From…behind? Poison…” Ekyt murmured, sinking to one knee. Tsunade held one last Senbon between her fingers.

“What the hell? Lady Hokage, have you lost it?!” Sakura knelt down next to Ekyt, pulled the senbon out, and began to use a healing jutsu. The poison was soon out of his body. It hadn’t done much damage. That’s when Naruto fell down, too. Senbon covered his back.

“Sakura…did any…hit you?”

Sakura was in tears now. Next to her, Ekyt pushed up, without saying a word.

“NOW you’ve pissed me off. Hurting a true friend…something isn’t right here…and I think I know what it is…and there’s only one way to find out…” Ekyt dashed straight at Tsunade.

“Striking Shadow Snakes!” Ekyt shouted. The snakes didn’t hit their target; Tsunade moved her neck away. But that was what Ekyt had planned on.

“Release!”

Slowly, Tsunade began to melt away. In her place…Orochimaru.

“Sakura…take Naruto and get out of here. Evacuate the village, and try to find Lady Tsunade.”

“What are you going to do?” Sakura asked in a hushed tone.

“I’m going to fight him.”

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