Chapter 36 - The Shojo Star?

It started in school. Iruka and all the other teachers noticed a t-shirt that was popular among the girls. No big deal, a fad, didn’t hurt anyone. But it snowballed. Manga hidden behind textbooks, pencil cases, headbands, eraser- everything. Every possible bit of paraphernalia had been marked with this guy. After confiscating yet another hidden manga, Iruka dismissed the class- there was no getting through to them today, and this epidemic was a problem, no doubt.

“Your class too, Iruka? What is up with this?! Who is this guy?!” One teacher moaned, thinking about how his carefully-planned lecture had been for nothing because a gaggle of giggling girls had decided to gossip about some boy. Then a fight over a pencil…it was disgusting.

“Yeah. Who IS this guy anyway? Brown hair…dark eyes…a cigarette…Asuma? No…then why does this seem so familiar…” Iruka narrowed his eyes, then laughed. “Well, it looks like one of my old students, but it can’t be! The guy is so girl shy, it’s not possible for him to-”

Ekyt walked in at that moment, to ask for a reference book to study for his exam proctor test. Iruka and the other teachers went silent. Ekyt stared at them; they stared at Ekyt. Iruka knew Ekyt wasn’t talking, so he didn’t ask. As it turned out, that’s what gave Ekyt away. The title of the confiscated manga: The Silent Superhero

“Ekyt…uh, have you seen this before?” Iruka asked, looking at the other teachers as he handed Ekyt the manga. Ekyt took it, looked at it, then handed it back, shaking his head. He motioned for Iruka to follow him.

-

“Iruka, this is ridiculous! I don’t know who did this, but I’m going to beat the hell out of them!” Ekyt snarled, pacing around, his cigarette blowing smoke all over.

“Any idea who did this…WHOA!” Iruka snapped the book shut, turning red out of embarrassment.

“What is it?” Ekyt asked, reaching for the book. Iruka didn’t seem to want to give it to him.

“It’s nothing, really. Just a…well, it’s better you don’t see…” Iruka tried to dodge away, but Ekyt grabbed the book. He thumbed through it, his shock and anger growing with each page. But he didn’t find what Iruka could be talking about…

“What page?!” he demanded.

“123…” Iruka whispered. Ekyt flipped open the book. His cigarette fell as his jaw dropped. Shock, rage, and embarrassment moved across his face. This was worse than reading someone’s journal. This was worse than gossip. This was worse than graphitti.

“Who…the…hell...DREW ME IN MY UNDERWEAR IN A SHOJO COMIC?!” Ekyt shouted, glaring at the picture. It was flattering in a way, but drawing someone like that, without their consent! And even worse, the dialogue in the comic!

“Hold me, Silent-sama. Maybe for…the last time! I’m dying…”

“…”

“I’ll be dead soon, and my last wish…is to hear you speak…and to manifest our love…”

“…”

“Thank you so much! Please, be gentle, it’s my first time!”

…what sonofadog wrote and drew this?!

“Iruka…just how bad is this? What have you seen? I’m guessing this manga isn’t all…”

Iruka grew a nice sweatdrop on his head. “Well, let’s see…tshirts, coffee mugs, pencils, pencil cases, erasers, shoes, socks, posters, and…well, I’ve even heard…ahem…panties.”

Ekyt turned around and strode away, clearly enraged beyond words. The offensive manga in hand, Ekyt barged up to Tsunade’s office. In the room already were several girls, all quizzing Sakura about her relationship with Ekyt. Tsunade was looking mildly irritated, while Sakura was near freaking out.

Everyone froze.

“KYAAA!”

The girls mobbed Ekyt, who was clearly uncomfortable. He couldn’t believe it- his face was everywhere. He even saw one poster- this was the nearly-naked representation of him. Ekyt’s face was burning red now. But he didn’t know that it was about to get worse. It was a moment most guys would cherish. But to a straight-laced guy like Ekyt, it was a black mark on his personal record.

“Please, Silent-sama, sign here!”

Ekyt turned to politely tell the girl ‘no’, but his nose began to bleed. The girl had bent over and hiked up her skirt, showing off her panties- Ekyt saw him staring at his own face. He had to blink to make sure this was real. Apparently, it was, because there was still a girl’s butt in his face.

“Uh, keep in mind, uh ‘silent-kun’, it’s illegal to seduce a minor…” Tsunade snickered. Ekyt favored her with a glare, but was soon busy with another poster of his nearly-naked self.

In front of Sakura, too…what is going on here?! Where did this smut come from?!

“Do you REALLY look like that in your underwear?! Boxers or briefs?!?!”

What?! This mob is two seconds away from ripping my clothes off to find out for themselves, and they probably won’t stop there! This isn’t good…

Ekyt put up his hands for silence. The girls calmed down, waiting to hear the silent superhero speak.

“Who sold you this stuff?” he asked calmly, although his insides were burning with anger and embarrassment. Ekyt was curious as to why Sakura hadn’t hit him- he almost wished she had!

She must know that I really don’t want any part of this…Oh well, at least I’m not so shy around her anymore, now that she’s got a boyfriend. She’s no ‘threat’…

“A man near the hot springs, in the shadows. He was tall, and he had on a weird headband…” one girl said.

“Yeah, yeah, and I saw white hair!” another chimed in.

“Will you marry me?” said another. Ekyt shook his head, silently apologizing. He had to kill this problem off- now. Quick as a flash, Ekyt was out the window and across town. Halfway to his destination, he used a Transformation Jutsu to turn into one of the girls that had been obsessed with him.

I think I know who this is…

-

Ekyt arrived, landing on the ground. He forgot that he had taken the appearance of a girl, so he got his fair share of odd looks, as he had jumped over a group of young genin, likely giving them a look under ‘his’ skirt. But he ignored that for now- he had bigger fish to fry. Bigger, more perverted fish. And frying was altogether too good- this was punishable by decapitation!

Bad enough to use me…but to draw me almost naked, then put me on panties?! I guess I should be honored…but still! This is unpardonable!

“Hey there, Itsuki! Looking for more merchandise?! I got ya covered! The latest manga, and the underwear you special ordered!” said the shadow-covered man, holding out a manga that was wrapped in brown plastic, and a pair of THE most trashy-looking thong panties Ekyt had ever seen.

Ekyt undid his jutsu, grabbing the shadowy man around the neck. To no one’s surprise, it was Jiraiya.

“You damned pervert! How DARE you? I don’t care if you’re a legend, you’d better start explaining this smut, or I’m going to turn you into the pervy corpse!”

Jiraiya laughed. “Nice, huh? I never really targeted a girl audience before, and face it kid, a bachelor with mystery about him and decent looks- you could make a mint! I guess you’re hear for royalties…”

“No. I’m here to tell you to stop producing this, or you’re going to pay, and not with your wallet.” Ekyt yanked Jiraiya closer, glaring at him.

“Oh, the naked thing, right? I could just make you more, heheh, impressive. That’s all it is, right? I should know better than to copy directly.”

“WHAT?!” Ekyt yelped, suddenly feeling violated.

“Hey, it was no picnic for me either kid! I don’t like guys! But the money I could make…who could resist?!”

Ekyt wasn’t comfortable with talking, but favored Jiraiya with a snarled bit of speech:

“You’d better learn to resist. I’ve never had a problem with you, but it seems you want me to hit trouble with every Sannin. And if I EVER catch you watching me in the hot spring, I’ll destroy you. Sound fair? Now you collect all that smut back and tell people I’m not a superhero. I’ve got enough problems as it is, I don’t need girls thinking I’m some cute guy who’ll strip in command!”

Jiraiya blinked. “Tell me again…WHY don’t you want girls thinking you’re some cute superhero who will sleep with them?”

Ekyt realized how that sounded. “Not that it isn’t tempting…but it’s not me. I’d rather have one meaningful relationship than be worshipped. Besides, if I’m going to be praised, I want it to be for my skills, not for being silent. That’s what I’ve worked for.”

Jiraiya nodded, apparently understanding to some degree. “Fair enough, I guess. If it makes you feel better, I used my own body as a model, instead of yours. I DID watch you to pick up your habits, though. Sorry about that.”

Ekyt shrugged. “Just don’t do it again. I’ve got enough problems without mothers thinking I’m some porn star thanks to your dirty books. Let’s just keep it in check, okay? Keep the money, I don’t want it…and, Master Jiraiya…if you do this again, you’ll be EATING your work, because I will shove that trashy garbage down your throat.”

--

When one door closes, another opens. Or, when one door closes, a window opens. However you look at it, it’s not always a good thing. Ekyt had been humiliated, and at a crucial time- the exam proctor/teaching exam. This test was notoriously hard, and would require all his effort and concentration. But what Orochimaru said still seemed to ring true.

Training won’t fill the void. Is the correct answer to try to force it to, and to remove myself from ‘that’ world by living in ‘my’ world? I can accept the fact that love is out of reach for the time being, that’s fine. Truthfully, it was never in my reach, due to my own inabilities. Perhaps a return to tradition…I will stay silent, smile occasionally…but I will simplify my life until things have become more clear.

Ekyt had left his eyes closed as he sat under the waterfall. He hated getting his hair wet for some reason, but he ignored that now. His life was discipline, and discipline was life. He would continue life as he always did, but he would spend more time thinking. To do this, he had to sacrifice missions- no problem. Now that he had graduated from doing D-ranks, there were fewer B and A ranks as it was, which left Ekyt enough time to keep training while he sorted things out. It was the perfect scenario, save for the fact that Ekyt was so uncertain it was pathetic. He had never let a taunt get to him like this.

Perhaps no taunt ever rang so true…Most were groundless accusations, or something I could have retorted to. But this…this was much different. It was something that was truthful, and it’s a truth I’ve been dodging. Well, it’s time to put my savings to work once again and make things works for me. If anything has become clear, it’s that I can’t rely on others to see things the way I do, and I can’t change them so that they do.

--

Yuushi walked home with Kantai, eager to introduce her to his parents. But waiting for him at his door were his parents, and the last person he wanted to see.

“Welcome home, Yuushi! I’m glad you’re here, because we have big news. Your father and I have adopted another child, and he seems to know you. I know you’ll be a good big brother and welcome him home…”

Okkuu and Yuushi looked at each other, each dismayed.

Brothers?! They thought at the same time. This was bad.

“I never knew you two were friends!” Kantai declared.

“We aren’t!” both Yuushi and Okkuu said, glaring at each other.

This won’t end well… Yuushi thought. No way.

--

“The teaching certification exam will begin now. You will have thirty minutes to answer the fifty questions here. Make the most of your time and do not look at someone else’s paper.”

Ekyt kept his head down and answered all fifty within twenty minutes. They weren’t anything harder than what was on the chunin exam, and he had blazed through those questions with relative ease. A lot of this test was common sense. That actually worried Ekyt a little. His version of common sense was different than most other people’s, so he wasn’t sure this test was working for him. But he had sense enough not to worry about this until after he had finished. Besides him, there were only a handful of others looking to take this test, and they took at least five minutes longer than Ekyt.

All that was left was to wait for the results.

--

E10257…

Ekyt looked at his number, then at the sheet that posted the scores. What he saw certainly didn’t help his mood.

For the first time since coming to the Leaf Village, Ekyt had failed a test.

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