Chapter 2 - Life’s Pretty Straight Without Pants

The Kuroneko pirates followed their captain’s orders as quickly as possible -- pulling into the nearest port town they could find; and praying that they had a place where Kuro could get some pants 9as, they all knew, he'd most likely go nuts if he couldn't find some..).
“Alright Kuro-sama, we’re in a port. Let's go and...Kuro-sama?!” cried Jango, frantically looking about for the captain.
“Whahaah!! I am up here Jango!” called Kuro -- whom had staked himself out atop the kitty-head at the front of the ship. “And now, with my magic shoes..I will do my magic dance to bring me to the pants!” and with that, he tripped..and fell...off the boat...onto the rock-hard ground...face first. Jango shrieked in horror -- sounding like a panicing child.
“KURO-SAMA!!” he cried, jumping off the boat, and racing to his dear captain’s side. He pulled the man up off the ground -- his face making that distinct sound you hear when you pull some road-kill off of a freshly-paved road. “Kuro-sama!! Speak to me!!”
“...You’ll...wonder where...the...yellow..went...when you brush...your teeth...with FIRE!!” Kuro shouted, in a daze, complete with the swirly eyes.
“Uhhhh...ok...ay...” said Jango, unsure what to think. Kuro then shook his head quickly to clear it.
“JANGO!! YOU’RE TOUCHING ME AGAIN!” he hissed.
“Yipes!! GOMEN NASAI, KURO-SAMA!” Jango shouted, pulling away from his captain. Kuro, whom wasn't exactally expecting Jango to pull away so quickly, fell and hit the back of his head off the ground.
“...ow.”
After Jango had apologized profusely to Kuro for the whole ordeal earlier, the two men continued in, onwards into the town, in search of a pants shop.
“Here’s one..” said Jango, pointing to a shop. Kuro read the sign on the shop.
“Pantaloons..?” he inquired, raising an eyebrow.
“Those ARE pants...arn’t they?” asked Jango. Kuro slapped him upside the head.
“I don’t WANT Pantaloons you narrow-minded, moon-walking...coat...wearing...MAN..with your...HAT and your...GLOVES!!” Kuro shouted, “I just want my PANTS!”
The two passed more shops -- “Short-Pants”, “Bell-Bottoms”, “Pedal Pushers”, "Clam Diggers”, “Slacks”, “Trousers”, “Jeans”, “Britches”, “Leggings”, “Corduroys”, “Knickers”, “Jodhpurs”, “Chaps”, “Hot Pants”, “Chinos, “Overalls”...Needless to say, Jang’s hat had been swatted off many a time..
“DUNGAREES?!” screamed Kuro, a massive vein about to burst in his forehead. Jango cowered in fear, “DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I'D WEAR DUNGAR --” he stopped, and he looked over Jango’s shoulder, his eyes suddenly glowing with happiness and tears, his mouth changing into that resemblant of a cute little kitten’s...
“PANTS”
A sign that said pants. Just pants. No fancy-shmancy Dungarees for our kitty-boy! “Oh happy day!! PANTS!!” cried Kuro, racing towards the shop. He was so happy, he smacked right into the door! Silly boy that Kuro is. “Ow you MORON!!” he screamed, attempting to tackle the door, before he realized, that this door was, in fact, a door and didn’t exactally..umm...how would you put it..DIE?
“Umm...Sir? That’s a door..” said Jango, going over to his captain.
“I KNOW that..I just want it to DIE!!” Kuro hissed, kicking the door with his striped magical shoes. Jango gave a great sigh, a massive sweatdrop..and then just turned the knob and let Kuro in. “Buy some pants sir."”
With a great amount of fervor (yay, I learned a new word!), Kuro raced into the store. He was greeted by the wonderous sight of pants...Everywhere...Feel the pants..Love the pants...lick the pants...lick the pants...and that is just what he did. “Lick the pants..Lick the pants..” he said, as he licked the leg of a pair of black pants.
“Stop licking the merchandise you psycho!!” yelled an angry clerk. Kuro looked over to the man, and then licked the pants again. “I TOLD YOU TO STOP LICKING MY MERCHANDISE!” the clerk roared.
“Then start licking mine!” retorted Kuro, whom proceeded to grab the crotch of his boxers as he spoke.
“GET OUT OF MY STORE!”
“You get out of MY store!”
“We’ll take the one’s he licked..” said Jango, hoping to ease the tension between the two. The clerk smiled happily to Jango,
“Just take them..and your psychopath too.”
Now, I don’t know about the badgers, but the chinchillas have the butter -- erm, I mean...I don’t know about you, but Kuro never overly enjoyed being called a psychopath. Psycho was okay -- but he didn’t like those extra four letters tacked on at the end of the word. He hissed at the clerk, and then ran him through with one of his claws. “NOBODY CALLS ME A PSYCHOPATH!! ESPECIALLY YOU, YOU STUPID-BUTT-GOAT-RAPE!!” he screamed, as the man let out a painful cry and proceeded to die of blood loss as he was impalled upon the middle and index claws on one of Kuro’s gloves. Jango just waited --
“Ah...” he said to himself, “He’ll sleep good tonight!”
After Kuro finished off the clerk, he tossed a few pieces of gold onto the counter. “Thank you very much!” Kuro said to the man's cadaver with a smile and a kawaii piece sign, before heading out the door. “Come Jango! Get my pants!” he said. Jango quickly grabbed the pants and raced out after his captain, “Haaaai, Kuro-sama!!” he said, with a smile.
Kuro and Jango soon reached the ship again. By the time Kuro managed to get into his pants, Fullbody had (somehow..) found them and proceeded to board. “Jango! What a pleasure it is to see you!” Fullbody said, with a clap of his hands.
“Wonderful to see you too!” Jango replied.
“Hello Fullbody!” said Kuro, cheerfully, “Get the hell off my ship.”

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