Chapter 1 - limited edition of 2007 get one now
Submitted February 5, 2007 Updated February 5, 2007 Status Complete | this is a bit funny it's a manual fic and hehe just read it and laugh it's short and one shot! i think i'll also do one for dei and sasori you can give some request of other characters
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Anime/Manga » Naruto series » Characters & Fanart » - The Akatsuki » Itachi |
Chapter 1 - limited edition of 2007 get one now
Chapter 1 - limited edition of 2007 get one now
Name: Itachi Uchiha (A.K.A Mangekyou user, Bastard, Tachi-kun, ita-sama, kawaii, weasel boy)
Date of Manufacture: Classified Identification
Height: 5 feet, 9 inches
Weight: it depends on how frequent you feed him
Energy Type: AB
Price: only $500
Programmed to:
Be a very good killer and can kill units like, sasukes, sakuras, narutos, kabutos, temaris, etc. with great ease all though if you are planning to have him fight a jiraiiya, tsunade or orochimaru unit (one or maybe two at a time if unit is handled properly) be sure he had all his needs the day before the battle to have a much accurate victory
Have the mind of an S class criminal, is a big threat, molesting younger brother, and to be a babe magnet
He is highly attracted to younger brothers, killing, power, kyuubi and women with hot bodies
Accessories
One akatsuki cloak, which you may also wear (just don’t let him catch you wearing his clothes)
A tacky necklace and hat
A katana, kunai and many other weapons
A T-shirt with the family emblem
blackpurple nail polish
A charger, USB port, Car charger
caution: ounce you open your Itachi unit be sure that you already have a mass of people with you that he can kill, remember to feed him and give him exercise every day for best results (three times only to maintain his masculine body)
Moods:
Silent killer
Cracked up brother
Creepy you wish you never activated this mood mode
Bossy mode
Sleepy mode
Evil mode
OOC mode (can only be activated if any of his weird attractions are activated or close by)
Energy
This unit only eats foods that he likes, like dangos and etc. if you prepare something he hates, be sure to have a skittle to suppress his wrath
Hygiene:
You may not bathe him unless you cracked the hentai mode which is unlikely; he bathes himself as he wishes to
Q and A
Q: my Itachi suddenly got ballistic and started licking other guy’s faces why?
A: it’s normal when he is in heat and had his yaoi mode activated just always prepare little kids he can torture and your Itachi will be alright
Q: my Itachi went mad when we ran out of coke for him what should I do?
A: giving him skittles might do the trick if it doesn’t be sure that you are faster than him when it comes to running which is very unlikely
Q: my Itachi is getting a bit too evil what should I do?
A: you get a bunch of pretty girls or cute kids to surround him, a dozen bottles of coke and a month’s supply of skittles
Q: can I have sex with my Itachi?
A: this Itachi likes to inflict pain during sex so you might want to have a high pain resistance
Q: my Itachi is so boring, he won’t have sex, why is that?
A: when he is surrounded with ugly people he gets turned off so always surround him with a Deidara ($140) and a Sasori ($200)
Q: is my Itachi capable of making babies?
A: yes but only with androids like him
Q: he won’t stop singing the annoying McDonald’s theme song, how do I stop this?
A: you can give him booze, cocaine, meth or ecstasy
This Itachi model 2007:
Is equipped with a locator,
Has advanced communication (Japanese, Chinese, English, French, Korean, Spanish)
Has the perfect sense of time
150 GB processing unit (equivalent to 150 I.Q. of the brain)
If you still haven’t purchased one buy now, it is limited edition and you might have a chance to WIN a CHII persocom to fulfill Itachi’s sexual des… I mean YOUR NEEDS
Date of Manufacture: Classified Identification
Height: 5 feet, 9 inches
Weight: it depends on how frequent you feed him
Energy Type: AB
Price: only $500
Programmed to:
Be a very good killer and can kill units like, sasukes, sakuras, narutos, kabutos, temaris, etc. with great ease all though if you are planning to have him fight a jiraiiya, tsunade or orochimaru unit (one or maybe two at a time if unit is handled properly) be sure he had all his needs the day before the battle to have a much accurate victory
Have the mind of an S class criminal, is a big threat, molesting younger brother, and to be a babe magnet
He is highly attracted to younger brothers, killing, power, kyuubi and women with hot bodies
Accessories
One akatsuki cloak, which you may also wear (just don’t let him catch you wearing his clothes)
A tacky necklace and hat
A katana, kunai and many other weapons
A T-shirt with the family emblem
blackpurple nail polish
A charger, USB port, Car charger
caution: ounce you open your Itachi unit be sure that you already have a mass of people with you that he can kill, remember to feed him and give him exercise every day for best results (three times only to maintain his masculine body)
Moods:
Silent killer
Cracked up brother
Creepy you wish you never activated this mood mode
Bossy mode
Sleepy mode
Evil mode
OOC mode (can only be activated if any of his weird attractions are activated or close by)
Energy
This unit only eats foods that he likes, like dangos and etc. if you prepare something he hates, be sure to have a skittle to suppress his wrath
Hygiene:
You may not bathe him unless you cracked the hentai mode which is unlikely; he bathes himself as he wishes to
Q and A
Q: my Itachi suddenly got ballistic and started licking other guy’s faces why?
A: it’s normal when he is in heat and had his yaoi mode activated just always prepare little kids he can torture and your Itachi will be alright
Q: my Itachi went mad when we ran out of coke for him what should I do?
A: giving him skittles might do the trick if it doesn’t be sure that you are faster than him when it comes to running which is very unlikely
Q: my Itachi is getting a bit too evil what should I do?
A: you get a bunch of pretty girls or cute kids to surround him, a dozen bottles of coke and a month’s supply of skittles
Q: can I have sex with my Itachi?
A: this Itachi likes to inflict pain during sex so you might want to have a high pain resistance
Q: my Itachi is so boring, he won’t have sex, why is that?
A: when he is surrounded with ugly people he gets turned off so always surround him with a Deidara ($140) and a Sasori ($200)
Q: is my Itachi capable of making babies?
A: yes but only with androids like him
Q: he won’t stop singing the annoying McDonald’s theme song, how do I stop this?
A: you can give him booze, cocaine, meth or ecstasy
This Itachi model 2007:
Is equipped with a locator,
Has advanced communication (Japanese, Chinese, English, French, Korean, Spanish)
Has the perfect sense of time
150 GB processing unit (equivalent to 150 I.Q. of the brain)
If you still haven’t purchased one buy now, it is limited edition and you might have a chance to WIN a CHII persocom to fulfill Itachi’s sexual des… I mean YOUR NEEDS
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