Chapter 4 - The Beanbean Kingdom's Warm Welcome

I was staring out the window as our plane landed. Daisy was almost bouncing out of her seat, and Waluigi and Wario had brought vacation clothes. Wario looked awfully strange in his bright purple “sunshine” shorts. Waluigi looked less like a stick figure in his baggy shirt that had the same pattern as Wario’s shorts. They were talking excitedly.

Mario had his chin resting on his hand, sipping a soda. Peach was scribbling in a magazine.

I sighed as the plane finally skidded to a halt. Daisy patted me quickly on the shoulder.

“Come on,” she said, “Liven up a bit! This visit won’t be as bad as the last.”

“I suppose,” I said, unbuckling my seatbelt.

But even I looked more laid back than usual. I didn’t want anyone to recognize me as well, so I didn’t wear my usual clothes. Today both Mario and I were dressed in baggy jeans and loose t-shirts. (Of our signature colors, of course.) I didn’t slick my hair back, like usual, so today it showed its true unruliness and stuck up everywhere. (Especially in the front.) Hopefully this would make me look a lot less like a string bean. The part I didn’t like, though, was that I forced myself to not wear my hat. I convinced myself that without my hat, I was practically impossible to recognize. I told this to Mario, as well, and he reluctantly left his behind.

“Welcome to the Southern part of the Beanbean Kingdom!” came the pilot on the intercom. “If you’re returning home, welcome home, if you’re vacationing, have fun! And if you’re here for a certain purpose besides fun or coming home, then you’re a loser. HAHAHA! I mean… then I hope you get it done!”

I groaned and sunk into my seat.

“Oh, don’t fuss,” Daisy said, standing up. She walked into the aisle and pulled our carry-on bags out of the overhead compartment.

“AUUGHH!” she screamed.

Flash.

My clothes had changed again from that wristband. I had gotten nervous from hearing Daisy scream. Quickly, I pulled it off, was normal again, and slapped it back on.

“What?” I asked. But Daisy had her back to me and was fuming at Wario.

“How could you do this to him, you know he’s not feeling well…”

“Well, what was I supposed to do? I thought he was going to barf on me!”

“Well, why put him up there?! AND WITH THAT NOTE!!?”

“He kept making awful noises all through the night! What was I supposed to do? Let him die here? He’d rather die up in the compartment, where it’s warm.” (Waluigi laughed.) “Then we can make ribs.”

“WARIO!”

I stood up, crossed Daisy’s seat, and peered into the overhead compartment. I was dumbstruck by what I saw; Yoshi! He was crammed behind our suitcases, with a note taped on his nose that said “SHOOT ME!”

I couldn’t help but snicker lightly to myself. I lifted Yoshi out of the compartment and set him in my seat.

“You okay?” I asked him.

“Beh,” was the bleak reply.

I looked across the aisle and saw Mario pulling on a sweater. I hadn’t really noticed it, but it was cold on that plane. The plane doors opened, and everyone got off. Yoshi lay slung on my shoulder (he was very light) as I walked out of the narrow aisle way and down the stairs.

The smell of lima beans reached my nose. Why hadn’t we crashed and died before we got here?

“So where is the hospital?” Waluigi asked casually.

“Little Fungitown,” Mario said. “It’s pretty far from here, but Luigi and I know a way to cut through the desert.”

“Yeah. Let’s head to the castle town. There’s a pipeway there.” I said, and crossed the bridge that lead from the airport island to the main land.

“Oh, yay!” Daisy said, running to catch up with me. “I love traveling by pipes!”

It didn’t take long to get to the Castle Town. Everything was rebuilt from Cackletta’s last attack, and now the city was a bustling little place.

“There’s the pipeway entrance,” Mario said, pointing at the place with a red roof.

“Oooh!” Wario said, turning a different way. “A coffee shop! I want some coffee. Come on!”

Only Waluigi followed him. Mario and I exchanged looks. That coffee shop was owned by Elvin Gadd, a tiny ghost-hunting professor who Mario and I owed our lives to. On our last visits, every time we ordered coffee, Professor Gadd showed up with a couple of ghosts. It would be only a few more seconds…

“AAAAAUUUGGHHHH!” Wario and Waluigi screamed in unison.

“Bingo!” Mario and I said at the same time. Both of us laughed.

“Better go take care of this,” I said.

Just as I thought, a small orange ghost was chasing them around. This was one of the ghosts that had terrorized me in my haunted mansion ordeal. Just seeing it made my pulse rise.

Flash.

Once again, my clothes had changed. But I didn’t bother to change back. I grabbed the Poltergust 3000 off of a coat rack and aimed it at the little ghost.

The flash of light that had morphed me stunned the little ghost. I turned the vacuum nozzle to the on position, and with a puff of smoke, captured the ghost. The lights came back on and I quickly took the band off and put it back on.

Waluigi, who had been cowering under a table, stood up and brushed himself off.

“I coulda used it,” he said. “I just didn’t see it over there.”

I scoffed and turned on my heel. “See you guys out there,” I said.

Wario returned momentarily with a cup of Teeheespresso. That one was my particular favorite, though it looked like pee. ‘Course, all of their coffees tasted and smelled fine, but looked like either watery snot, urine, melted dung, or blood. Your choice.

“Okay, now can we go get Yoshi de-infested?” Peach laughed at the word she made up.

“Sure,” Mario said. “Come on-to pipe seven.”

We entered the pipe house, and Mario flipped the switch to pipe seven. He entered it and disappeared, followed by Yoshi and me. These warp pipes were very large, and very fast. You couldn’t remain standing once you got to where you wanted.

The force of the transport shoved me face down into the grass. Mario was standing and brushing himself off. Lucky for Yoshi, he had been thrown a few yards in front of me. I had just started to push myself up when Daisy exploded out of the warp pipe and landed directly on top of me. (Stop laughing, you pervert.) The back of her head slammed into mine, knocking my face back into the grass.

She quickly got off of me and helped me up. Stars were blinking in my eyes.

“I’m so sorry…” she said.

“It’s nothing, really…”

As soon as Wario, Peach and finally Waluigi burst out of the pipe, (I was thanking God that it wasn’t Wario who came through the pipe directly after I did, his weight probably would have killed me. At the least, Yoshi wouldn’t be the only one who needed the hospital.) we walked the short distance to the hospital and into the very room where Mario had once stayed. His face was red again.

“What can I help you with?” the toad at the front desk said.

“We need to get some help,” Peach said to him. (She worked the best with Toads.) “Yoshi has ingested a Belly Blech worm. Do you have any Chuckola Cola?”

The toad lifted his glance from Peach to Mario. His eyes perked up.

“Are you-?” he began. “Are you Mario?”

“Yes,” Mario mumbled, and his face was now as red as his shirt. He was looking at his feet.

“Hey- you’re the guy who had Bean fever, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he said, barely audible. I had to try very hard to not laugh.

“Mario?” came a girl’s voice from the next room over. The girl who had spoken approached us. She was actually pretty with wild crimson hair, light brown eyes and very fair skin, and was only as tall as Mario. A couple of freckles dotted her nose and upper cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I just couldn’t help overhearing your conversation.” I recognized her immediately- this was Julie, the same girl who had been here last time we came. She was only fourteen, much too young to be a doctor or even one in training. Why was she here, and in a lab coat?

“It’s nice to see you again,” she said. From first impressions, you wouldn’t think that Julie was too smart, but she spoke with good intelligence for someone her age. “I remember you all too well.” She was smiling profoundly- Mario and I were her idols.

“Mmhmm,” Mario said, still not making eye contact.

“Anyway, I did overhear your problem. A Belly Blech Worm, huh? Of course we have Chuckola Cola.” I raised both of my eyebrows. The last time we came here, they didn’t have the ingredients we needed. I was half-expecting this time to be the same. Julie noticed my surprised expression.

“Yes, shocking, huh?” she whispered. “Yes. Well, that’s why I’m here. Mario, you learned the hard way that Toads are very bad inventory keepers. So, though I have only an eighth grade education, things are going much smoother now that we know what medicines we have and what medicines we need to restock. Anyway, bring Yoshi back to the room. Chuckola Cola takes almost no time to get rid of the worm.”

My stomach gave a funny churn. I had witnessed Queen Bean throw up a Belly Blech Worm. It was likely the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. I swallowed hard and quickly tried to think of an excuse to not go.

But to my surprise, Lauren, the girl who had given Daisy and me our costumes, burst into the door of the embassy. Julie leaned her head out of the next room. She was holding a rather large jug of Chuckola Cola.

“Hey!” she said, gleefully. Apparently, these two were close friends. “I’ve got a patient right now, I’ll be with you in-“

But Lauren snapped her fingers, and Yoshi’s pale face turned a deep green. His eyes opened to their normal size, and he wasn’t making any more choking noises.

“How did you-“ Julie began, but then paused.

“Right.” she said. “Okay, then, Yoshi will be fine.”

Peach smiled as Yoshi jumped off the bench and was strong enough to do so. I was relieved for two reasons: One because Yoshi was all right, and two, because he didn’t have to barf up the worm. It just magically dissolved. Now I was really thinking that Lauren was a little more than just a teenager.

“Well, it’s nice to see you again,” she said, brushing past me and meeting up with Julie. They did a high-five and then turned around.

“So,” Julie said. “Did anything besides Yoshi bring you to the Beanbean land?”

“Yeah,” Mario said. “We’re hunting for Cackletta again.” Julie frowned.

“Again?” She asked. “What did she do this time?”

“I don’t really know,” I said. “She just told us that she wants all of us dead.”

“Oh, since when is that anything new?” Lauren and Julie said in unison. They both laughed.

And with a flash of light, my clothes were changed… again.

“Oh, sorry,” Julie snickered. “Lauren told me about your wristband.”

“Yes,” I said, pulling the band off and then slapping it back on.

“Well, good luck with that. Cackletta isn’t too hard to beat, as you proved last time.”

“Thanks,” Wario said, obviously feeling proud of himself. Of course, that was nothing new.

“Well,” Peach said, now wearing sunglasses that she hadn’t before, “Daisy and I are going to do some sightseeing. You guys can go look for your witch. Meet us back here! We found this adorable hotel.” And both her and Daisy ran off.

I curled my lip slightly. Oh, great… another wasted vacation.

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