Chapter 9 - Baka Banana Butts

Uma: Ello peeps!

Amu: They aren't listening to you.

Uma: That doesn't mean that I have to be rude.

Amu: Just start the chapter!

Uma: Grumpy, very grumpy.



Disclaimer: This is going to come as a big shock to you all, but I am not J. K. Rowling, which means that I do not own Harry Potter, or anything else that you may recognize. And Dragon of the water is the owner of Kelsey, nekoofdeath is the owner of Ronny and Gigi, and I am the owner of Josh, Lacy and this insane plot.



Chapter 9:

Baka Banana Butts



“Weren't the hippogriffs so COOOLLLLL!!!” I shouted while we were all walking back to our common room.



“I still can't believe that every single one of the hippogriffs let you pet them.” Ron cried, “Bloody hell, it was like you were actually talking to them.”



“Yyyeessss… it was like that wasn't it.” Ronny and Josh replied mysteriously.



“Bakas.” Gigi and I said, as we hit them over their heads, “Why must we be related to bakas.”



“ABUSIVE!! BROTHER ABUSE!!” they yelled. Ron, Harry, Hermione and Kelsey were just staring at us.



“What,” I glared, “The older sibling has a right to make fun of and or destroy a younger sibling.”



“Where have you been all your life?” Gigi asked them.



“Britain” came the answer from Harry and Ron, Kelsey remained silent, and Hermione mysteriously disappeared.



“That was a hypothetical question.” Gigi said.



“Hey where did” Ronny began.



“Hermione go?” Josh finished.



We looked around for a few seconds before giving up and started to head back inside. While we were walking, something was getting loose at the back of my mind. It was power, raw power; the power that is released when a threat is near by.



`You feel it too?' Gigi asked.



`Yeah, but it might just because we are in a strange place, or the fact that we haven't train in a while.' I answered.



`It could be a combination of both' added in Ronny



`Or there might be a dangerous threat nearby.' Josh thought grimly.



`We should probably find the Headmaster person and ask him where we could train.' I thought. `It might help calm down this power in our heads.'



`Yeah' they all said, then broke our link



“Hey, are you listening to me,” said a voice in my ear, “I think she zoned out Harry.”



“Oh what… sorry,” I apologized. “Just got caught up in my thoughts.”



“Do you guys know where Professor Dumbledore's office is?” Gigi changed the subject.



“I do,” answered Kelsey, “I can take you there right now, but I don't know the password.”



“Oh, just start guessing muggle sweets” replied Harry.



~ 10 Minutes later ~

* Outside Dumbledore's Office *



“Hershey's?” nothing



“Milky Way?” nothing



“Abba Zabba?” Not one thing was happening, and we already named at least 50 different candies.



“Alright, candies aren't working, lets try Starbucks Coffees.” I told everyone.



“Mocha Cappuccino?” nothing



“Carmel Latté?” and again nothing.



“Stem Brewed Coffee?” nothing.



“Amateurs,” I told them, “You need to try something like, French Mocha Carmel Espresso Frappuccino With 2% soy milk whipped cream with chocolate, vanilla, and Carmel icing and a dash of cinnamon.”



The gargoyle jumped to the side revealing a circular staircase.



“Okaaayyyyy, Dumbledore must like his coffee.” Gigi said amazed.



“I don't even want to know how you know that.” Josh and Ronny told me.



“Well, lets go up the mysterious stair.” I said, and then started walking up them, “Well, come on, we don't have all day.”



We walked up the stairs, and came to a door, but before we could knock, we heard voices coming from inside.



“Albus, really, something is different about those four. When the two boys came in the room, they already knew what we were talking about. And when I asked the girls what they have done, they responded with a list of what they blew up.” Cried the first voice, who we could tell was Professor McGonagall.



“Now Minerva, it is obvious that they have a really good sibling link.” Reasoned Professor Dumbledore. “Now I suggest that we should continue this conversation when the students we are talking about are waiting right outside the door.”



The door opened relieving an angry looking McGonagall and a calm Dumbledore.



“Sorry, Professors, but-” Gigi Ronny Josh and I all began.



“Don't worry, Professor McGonagall already explained your situation.” Professor Dumbledore told us.



“Alright, and you'll probably want us to go into more detail about what we will be doing, correct?” Gigi and I asked.



“Or you could be really cool and let us train in that awesome forest and we don't tell you a thing.” Ronny and Josh said, trying to convince the headmaster to go with there idea.



“I think it would be best if you tell us what you will be doing, since we already now the why.” McGonagall replied.



“We well be doing just as we said we would be doing, training.” I answered.



“What type of training?” asked Professor Dumbledore.



“Just doing basic spells, and some hand to hand combat.” Josh and Ronny answered.



“But you two are first years, and don't know any spells.” McGonagall cried, “How can two untrained first years know spells before they even know the proper way to hold a wand.”



“Speaking of wands, were are yours?” Dumbledore asked Gigi and I.



“Wands are a wizards weakness, that and saying the spell aloud.” Gigi told him.



“Wands are also very useless to us because our source of magic differs from yours.” I added.



“And the only reason that we have wands is cause they made us” Josh began



“Even though we can use wand less magic too.” Ronny finished.



“I see,” Dumbledore nodded, “I think that the best place for you to train would indeed be in the forest-”



“But Albus, they are students.” McGonagall interjected, “There are danger in the forest that they couldn't possibly handle.”



“Let me finish Minerva” He replied calmly, “The best place for you to train would be in the forest by either the Quidditch pitch or close to Hagrid's hut. That why you are close to the school or by someone who can come to your help if the need by arise. Now what time would you be training at?”



“We can release magic better at night.” Josh answered.



“And we follow the lunar calendar,” Gigi added.



“Not all the time,” I argued “The only time that we follow the lunar calendar is on new moons or full moons otherwise we train every other night.”



“I see, what times do you practice at night?”



“Sundown to sunup.” We answered.



“With half-hour breaks every two hours.” Josh and Ronny added.



“Will you be able to stay awake for your classes training like that?” McGonagall asked, “Because I will not tolerate you dozing off in my class, and neither would the other professors. If you were to go through with this train routine, you will have to keep your grades up.”



“You won't have to worry about that.” I responded



“Lacy and my memories are very close to photographic,” Gigi added



“They'll be pounding knowledge into our brains until we have it perfect.” Ronny and Josh sighed, “They really want perfection from us.”



“Well, I see no problem in this training schedule,” Dumbledore handed us a piece of paper that appeared out of nowhere, “This is your permission slip for your training,. If you run into any Professors on your way to training, just show them this. Now, I think it would be best if you start to your common room and get ready for dinner.”



“Thank you Professor.” We said, then walked out of the office.



~ 5 minutes later ~

* Gryffindor Common Room *



“Wait, what are you doing again?” Asked Kelsey.



“Just getting permission to train in the forbidden forest.” Josh answered



“Why do you need to- BLOODY HELL WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT!!?!?!?!” yelled Ron.



He was pointing to the window, where about six different birds were holding up a big box that had Josh's and my name in big bold letters on it. Josh and I got up and opened the window so the owls can come in. I recognized the birds belonged to my friends at M.I.C. Josh looked over to me nervously, fearing whatever was in the box. Right as we were about to open the box, four cats jumped out and landed on Ron's, Harry's, Ronny's and Gigi's heads.



“Fluffy, Slippers, Sneaky, Mousey(1-4)!” I yelled at the cats, “What are you doing here?”



“Bloody hell, this cat is eating my hair!” Ron cried, as Fluffy indeed was chewing on his hair.



“How much does this cat weight?!?” Harry exclaimed and Sneaky was making himself comfortable on Harry's head.



“Lacy, Josh please, help me!!” Ronny asked, as he looked up with wide eyes at Slippers, “I don't like your psycho cat.”



“Awwww Mousey, how you doing honey?” Gigi purred, “ Lacy, remind me again why all the guy cats are weird yet your female cat is perfect.”



Everyone in the common room burst out laughing at this scene that the cats were making. The I noticed that there were some letters in the box, and the birds were still here.



`They must be waiting for a reply.' I thought



`No duh Lacy, why else would they be here' Gigi told me in a mind link.



`Please Gigi, why must you always listen in on my thoughts?' I asked her.



`Cause it's fun, and I'm a neko.' She replied.



`What does being a cat have to do with anything?'



`Don't know.' She answered then broke the link.



“Cats, to the bed.” I commanded, but the cats just stayed were they were, “Or no wet food.”



Those cats ran right up to the girls' dormitory after they heard the wet food line. Some of the other students looked on amazed at the speed of the cats, while others looked relieved. I put the box by a table while Josh grabbed one of the letters.



“Dear Gigi and Lacy,” he read aloud, “ This stinks!! I can't believe that you guys are in Europe and we are still back here. Well, here's one thing to rub in your face, IT'S WARM HERE!! HAHAHA!! And I bet that you are freezing your little butts off over there. And you are coming back for winter and Spring break, right, well you better, oh and see if you can bring some cute guys with accents with you. Oh and this is a very urgent question, is Harry Potter as sexy as people say? And could you get me an autographed picture of him for me? Please! I am begging you here! Oh and if Harry Potter is anywhere near you right now, please tell him that I am in love with him, and that he is now my sexy banana. Love Ya Lots, Ima Sunland”



“That Ima for you.” I tried to say in between my laughs. “Sorry about that Harry but Ima's a little boy crazy.



“What does she mean that I am her sexy banana,” Harry yelled, “I am not a banana!!”



“She just drew your face on a-”Gigi started



“wait,” Kelsey, said as she reached down into the box a pulled out a banana with a deformed face and lightning scar drawn with a sharpie, “ Here you go Harry, you are now a sexy banana.”



For the second time that day, the common room exploded with laughter. I found a piece of paper and immediately wrote a reply, with Gigi adding her two cents in.



`Ima, please don't floo to the Gryffindor Common Room Tuesday the 7th at 5:30 pm in your banana costume singing your Harry Potter theme song which I know that you have already made. Oh and Gigi says that you made Harry blush a lot with your banana. Lacy and Gigi'



“Harry, just to let you know, you are going to look like an idiot holding that banana when you go down to dinner.” Kelsey told him.



“Oh, er.. right.” Harry put the banana back in the box, then turned to Gigi and myself, “Are all of the letters that you get from them going to say that, because that is not funny.”



“Don't worry Harry, if we get a letter like that again, we'll just leave out that part.” Gigi told him, but crossed her fingers behind her back.



“Now, let's head down to the great hall for dinner!” Josh and Ronny yelled in our ears



“Ow,” Gigi and I exclaimed, then turned to hit our brothers on their head, but found that they were not there. “GET BACK HERE AND TAKE YOR PUNISHMENT!!”



Gigi and I ran to the portrait hole and climbed out just in time to see Josh and Ronny sprinting to the stairs.



“Gigi, Lacy, follow me I know a short cut to the great hall.” Kelsey shouted. Gigi and I stopped abruptly and ran over to where Kelsey was standing. “Now this, is a secret that only I know about, but I think you deserve to know about it too.”



“What is it what is it?” I jumped up and down excitedly.



“Calm down Lacy,” Kelsey told me, “This is a dumb waiter, and it can go down straight down to the hallway right to the left of the great hall.”



Kelsey knocked three times on the brick, which was 8 spaces from the Fat Lady's portrait. She then tapped the brick that was three spaces lower and one over from the first brick. Suddenly, there was a hole in the wall, big enough to fit all three of us if we kneeled.



“Climb in. And don't say or touch anything until I'm in there too.” She commanded.



Gigi and I climbed into the dumbwaiter. Kelsey then climbed in and said, “Door close, now think about a waterfall in five seconds. And please don't scream.”



`One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Waterfalls, pretty waterfalls with pretty rainbow in a tropical rainforest.' I thought



~ 10 seconds later ~

* Hallway left of the Great Hall *



“I asked you not to scream.” Kelsey told us, well, me. “I think that I went deaf in my ear now.”



“Oops, sorry Kelsey, it just, I didn't really expect that. Kinda afraid of fall.” I replied.



“Kinda, KINDA! Rilcha and I had to literally drag you onto Extreme at the fair!” Gigi exclaimed



(A/N: And yes, that did happen at the Ventura Fair, the person controlling to ride even put on chicken sound effects. It was not cool, they were pulling my feet/legs and I was desperately trying to grab hold of something. Not funny at all.)



“Hey, look, I can see Josh and Ronny!” I cried and started running to the great hall to head them off, “Hurry up, or they'll get away!”



That got all of us into action. I was trailing Ronny, Jill was trailing Josh, and Kelsey was running in between us so she could help either of us if need be. We were only about three feet away from them and when the boys were only five feet away from the Great Hall doors, they both tripped over a mysterious banana peel.



“Owww.” Ronny whined, “That banana is,”



“Pure evil,” Josh continued, “And can we please,”



“Destroy it?” they whined.



“Guys, I think you already destroyed it with your butts.” Kelsey pointed to the smashed banana, “Now you are banana butts!!”



Kelsey started skipping around them chanting `banana butts'. I too then started to skip around them chanting `butts banana'. Gigi just started at us for a few seconds before she too started skipping around them, but chanting `baka banana butts'. And this was the scene that Harry Ron and Hermione stumbled upon when they came to the Great Hall.



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Uma: No bananas died in the making of this chapter.

Amu: They were all oranges dressed up as bananas.

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