Chapter 3 - Trelawney And Dumbledore

A/N: Hey everybody! I live! Okay, this one is going to be about& Professor Trelawney! And since is it going to be kind of short, Ill torture Professor Dumbledore, too!











Chapter 3





How To Make Trelawney Retire





And





Why Dumbledores Eyes Twinkle











1: Ste- borrow her crystal ball and use it for baseball/kickball/cricket.





2: Replace her tea with some starbucks coffee





3: Spike the coffee.





4: Give her a doughnut that has chocolate covered ants as sprinkles.











5: Spike the doughnut.





6: Transfigure a Slytherian into a bull when Trelawney decides to wear that bright scarlet robe of hers.





7: Give all her students smoothies that make them delirious, right before the class starts.





8: Give some leftover smoothie to Trelawney and say, This will open your inner eye, so you can see things that will happen in an alternate universe.











9: Spike the smoothie some more.





10: Give the students paint ball guns, and tell them Shooting a teacup gets you a E, but shooting Trelawney will get you an O on the finals.





11: Replace Trelawneys glasses with McGonagalls.





12: Put glitter in her eyes so they twinkle like Dumbledores.











13: Use Trelawneys pink teacups for target practice.





14: Make up an after hours shooting club, and use all of Trelawneys fragile items for target practice.





15: Draw a black dog on Trelawneys forehead while she is sleeping.





16: Shout ITS THE GRRRRRRIIIIIMMMMM! during calls and point to your lovely drawing.











17: Record all of this happening and sell it on the Hogwarts Black market. (Wait, there is no black market&. Okay)





18: Take control of Trelawney and use her to start the Hogwarts Black market. (Much better)





19: Bring your favorite teddy bear from when you were a kid all dressed up pretty and when Trelawney passes out of tea, say Mrs. Floppyloopykins Elizabeth Tudor Rose Anne Belle Ariel Liberty Lisa Franklin Jr. The Seventh wants some tea too. (For extra WOW transfigure your bear to look like a bear griffin hybrid.)





20: Take Trelawneys favorite blanket that she has slept with since she was a baby (awwww, baby&.. scary) hostage and the ransom is to quit Divination and run away, far away&. Then jump off the Lady Liberty.











_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_





(A/N: Okay, I couldnt think of a thing for Dumbledore, so its going to be a little story! Whheeeee! Story time!)











It was a bright sunny day in England, March 25, 1855. In a countryside manor, a young Albus Dumbledore was celebrating his 10^th birthday. While his parents were setting up the party are, Albus and his younger brother, Aberforth, were running around in the meadow.





Come Albus, lets look at the shiny clouds! shouted the five-year-old Aberforth.





Alright. The young Albus flopped down in the long grass next o his brother. That one looks like a lemon drop! And that one over there looks like an acid pop! Oh, goodness, that one next to that big shiny thing looks like a sugar quill!





Albus, do you ever stop talking about candy?





No&. I dont think so&.. Do I?





Hm, well I think that that looks like a martini. And that one over there looks like a bottle of rum. Oh, goodness that looks like a jug of beer! Aberforth said excitedly, pointing to all the different clouds.





Aberforth, do you ever stop talking about drinks?





No& I dont think so&.. Do I?





You should talk more about candy!





No, you should talk more about drinks!





CANDY!





DRINKS!





Alright, lets have a contest. Whoever can stare at the sun longer wins. If I win, you have to stop thinking about drinks and give up your ambition of running a bar.





And if I win, you have to get a twinkle implant in BOTH your eyes, and become Headmaster of Hogwarts, then die protecting a boy who shall save the wizarding world!





Youve been spiking your juice again, havent you?





Maybe.





Your underage!





So are you!





Lets just start the contest.





3





2





GO!











The boys stared at the sun for five minutes straight until,





Ladybug&..





HAH! You lose Albus!





Damn you.





That not nice! Now, cmon youre getting a twinkle implant.





Why must I have an intoxicated boy for a brother?











And that is why Albus Dumbledore has twinkles in his eyes, became Headmaster, and died! So, if all you fans out there hate J.K. Rowling, think again, you should hate Aberforth Dumbledore, owner of Hogshead Bar.











_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_











Hoped everyone like this update! Im going to try to update Magic And The Hippogriff next (my friend has threatened me -.- ). After that, YusukesSister will probably be back, so Unwillful Trading can get updated. Please review!

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment