Chapter 1 - Untitled

Everything is Made Of Cheese          Now hear me out, this makes more sense than you'd believe, honestly!
          Everything is made of cheese, now I hear you calling*1: "how can everything be made of cheese? After all trees are made of frogs are they not?" Yes this is true, but frogs are made of cheese so everything makes sense after all.
           This "Crackpot theory" may sound absurd to you but honestly it's true after all it fits in with atoms and stuff, cos there's  been all this wondering for ages what atoms and stuff are made of and the answer is simple: Cheese.
             Don't get me wrong, this isn't nice, fancy Cathedral Cheddar Stuff, no too expensive. It's the bog standard put in your hamburger and cover it in ketchup plasticity processed cheese. I think it's nice but that's just me. So don't try eating your hand or pencil sharpenings, and even if you like it you have to first return it to its constituent cheeses with a      Recheesemogrification Ray. And they don't even exist yet, except in my mind…
              ...Anyway back to the point I once again here you calling out to me*1: "But were does all this cheese come from?" I'll tell you: The Moon. That's right the moon is made of cheese! Well that's obvious seeing as everything is made of cheese, but the moon is the source of all cheese.
              Now I'm sure you're now thinking what when it runs out, after all its only a sphere about a third of the size of the earth. Well It's not, NASA have lied to us all. The moon is an infinite cylinder and they have been covering their tracks while they experiment on the moon cheese in their attempts to create a Recheesemogrification Ray. And they are doing this by lying to us about the shape of the moon and taking normal rocks and proclaiming them as moon rocks. Remember THEY LIE!!!
              I am predicting a split in the cheese theorist world soon though as the idea of string cheese theory is cropping up. This is similar to string theory except it is better  because it explains what the strings are made of: CHEESE!!!!!

Thank you and goodnight.

*1: I do not actually hear you calling as this is the internet and is not 2 way,  no matter how much they trick you into thinking it is. You have no control over the internet, in fact the internet controls you. It is making  you use you mouse to direct you to this place because of its greater plan, Yes the internet is similar to the Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy Mark 2. Stick to TV, it is safe and people in game shows can hear you when you shout the answers at the TV.

Credit to PJ for this Idea

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