Chapter 1 - Code of kalantiao

The Code of Kalantiao

Article I

Ye shall not kill; neither shall ye steal; neither shall ye do harm to the aged, lest ye incur the danger of death. All those who infringe this order shall be condemned to death by being drowned in the river, or in boiling water.



drowned in boiling water??? what a waste of fuel! And people don't drown in boiling water; they get scalded!



Article II

Ye shall obey. Let all thy debts with the headman be met punctually. He who does not obey shall receive for the first time one hundred lashes. If the debt is large, he shall be condemned to thrust his hand in boiling water thrice. For the second time, he shall be beaten to death.



Ahhh, now that's what I call JUSTICE! ^__^ *pays all debts*



Article III

Obey ye: let no one have women that are very young nor more than he can support; nor be given to excessive lust.

He who does not comply with, obey, and observe this order shall be condemned to swim for three hours for the first time and for the second time, to be beaten to death with sharp thorns.



hmph. Women aren't property, you know. But at least…



Article IV

Observe and obey; let no one disturb the quiet of the graves. When passing by the caves and trees where they are, give respect to them.

He who does not observe this shall be killed by ants, or beaten to death with thorns.



ANTS?? the ants from the graves? *shudder*



Article V

Ye shall obey; he who exchanges for food, let it be always done in accordance with his word.

He who does not comply, shall be beaten for one hour, he who repeats the offense shall be exposed for one day among ants.



A day with ants! Wow, you're gonna get puffy by sunset!



Article VI

Ye shall be obliged to revere sights that are held in respect, such as those of trees of recognized worth and other sights.

He who fails to comply shall pay with one month's work in gold or in honey.



Oh, yeah. Honey doesn't spoil anyway, so…



Article VII

These shall be put to death; he who kills trees of venerable appearance; who shoot arrows at night at old men and women; he who enters the houses of the headmen without permission; he who kills a shark or a streaked cayman.



This should be implemented today!!! Save the Sharks! Save the Caymans!



Article VIII

Slavery for a doam (a certain period of time) shall be suffered by those who steal away the women of the headmen; by him who keep ill-tempered dogs that bite the headmen; by him who burns the fields of another.



Women? Dogs??? How dare they lump us together with ill-tempered dogs…



Article IX

All these shall be beaten for two days: who sing while traveling by night; kill the Manaul; tear the documents belonging to the headmen; are malicious liars; or who mock the dead.



Sing while traveling at night??? Ah, okay. So as not to keep the people awake. -_-. The rest, I could understand.



Article X

It is decreed an obligation; that every mother teach secretly to her daughters matters pertaining to lust and prepare them for womanhood; let not men be cruel nor punish their women when they catch them in the act of adultery.

Whoever shall disobey shall be killed by being cut to pieces and thrown to the caymans.



CUT TO PIECES??? 0_0 And… and… my MOTHER's gonna teach me the…. ICK! *shudder*



Article XI

These shall be burned: who by their strength or cunning have mocked at and escaped punishment or who have killed young boys; or try to steal away the women of the elders.



Yeah, young boys shouldn't be killed. ^_-



Article XII

These shall be drowned: all who interfere with their superiors, or their owners or masters; all those who abuse themselves through their lust; those who destroy their anitos (sculptures of gods) by breaking them or throwing them down.



Ahhh, nooo! punishment for masturbation???



Article XIII

All these shall be exposed to ants for half a day: who kill black cats during a new moon; or steal anything from the chiefs or agorangs (wise men), however small the object may be.



Seriously, black cats were indeed considered sacred. Besides, they're adorable. ^__^



Article XIV

These shall be made slave for life: who have beautiful daughters and deny them to the sons of chiefs, and with bad faith hide them away.



Yeah, I'm sooo lucky I'm not that pretty !! *blink*



Article XV

Concerning beliefs and superstitions; these shall be beaten: who eat the diseased flesh of beasts which they hold in respect, or the herb which they consider good, who wound or kill the young of the Manaul, or the white monkey.



Yeah, for the sake of the endangered species, this should also be implemented today.



ArticleXVI

The fingers shall be cut-off: of all those who break idols of wood and clay in their alangans and temples; of those who destroy the daggers of the tagalons, or break the drinking jars of the latter.



Respect for property. yes, yes.. *nods*



Article XVII

These shall be killed: who profane sites where idols are kept, and sites where are buried the sacred things of their diwatas and headmen. He who performs his necessities in those places shall be burned.



Article XVIII

Those who do not cause these rules to be obeyed: if they are headmen, they shall be put to death by being stoned and crushed; and if they are agorangs they shall be placed in rivers to be eaten by sharks and caymans.



Correct. No discriminations! Bravo!

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment