Chapter 1 - What a tragedy.

Tired, bored and paranoid the hero and his counterpart sit lazily on a hot afternoon somewhere
in Hyrule.... Both discussing matters of dire importance, for the world as they know it depends
on their intelligence, and sensible thinking...

" We're being replaced with mere nobody's. " said dark link, covering his face in a dramatic
manner while fanning himself with his shoe. An eye brow is raised as link watches wearily,
taking off his hat he sighs, "What do you mean?" The other kicks him harshly, sobbing and
still waving his hands about, "CAN YOU SUDDENLY NOT HEAR ME?! I SAID WE'RE BEING REPLACED."
Taking out his sword, he attempts to unsheath it but the effort is painfully thrawted by
the same shoe that was previously being used as a fan. "You must pay attention to me, i am
speaking the truth as i always do. I have heard through somebody that knows somebody that
fracked somebody they knew that there's a new pair of lovers in town." The other grows pale,
backing up a bit, "L-Lovers?! What is that supposed to mean." "As in Lover; noun, a person
who loves or is loved. wait, or would it be a verb? no, no, loving is the ver-" "Okay okay,
I mean, why should we care? I for one am a very confident individual and have no problem in
getting women." "I know! I know! But what about men?! We have to keep up appearances in the
gay community." Link bows his head, hiding beneath the tousled gold locks, for a warmth
has suddenly spread throughout his body thus revealing more than he bargained for. "I'm-
I'm not gay! I have a girlfriend." Dark link coughs bursting into a surpressed fit of
giggles and snorts. "No you dont! You're a liar, you've been wearing that bonnet too damn
tight!" "Yes I do." "Who is she then? And if you say Zelda im going to piss my pants.
Just because the game is named after her doesnt mean she's your girlfriend! Most people
probaly think you're zelda actually, you two look alike. Except you're prettier, and you
have more curves." And thus the blushing continues. "NO I DONT WAIT..WHAT? IS THAT A GOOD
THING?!" The other nods, edging his way a bit closer resting a hand on our dear Link's
voluptuous leg. "A very good thing! You're way hotter than that dog." "NO HE'S NOT!!!"
Screams the girly annoying voice, dark link peers behind him remembering that zelda had
indeed been captured by his lovely self and then tied to a tree. "SHUT UP HO!
THIS IS A LIKE BOY ONLY CONVERSATION. OKAY?! NO HO'S ALLOWED." Pouting, the princess
continues spraying her hair with instant bleach, an invention that only Hyrule can provide
us with. Eyes darting back and fourth, Link begins to bite his nails for lack of a better
excuse of what to do. "As i was saying, there's a new pair of guys. Hot guys too, i mean
super hot." A nail is spit out onto the grass, and then another at the mere idea of such
a tragedy happening. "How hot are we talking? Like, inuyasha hot. Or Naraku hot. or...
dear god. please dont say Miroku hot. He gets all the action already, we cant have another
guy like him wandering around!" A solemn expression dark link wears, sitting up very
straight and glancing about nervously. "Way hotter than Miroku" He whispers, link's own
lips begin to quiver. "There's two of them too. They're Beautiful men, quite a catch.
If either was single, well..." his voice trails off as the other grunts. "I mean, we have
much to worry about. Everybody wants them, and is forgetting little old us, our hotness
is becoming a thing of the past, and im not sure what we can do about it! One's a total
bad boy and the other is just so strange but sexy! I heard, that fans are saying they're
more intelligent then..." "OH DO GO ON WITH IT!" Said, the shaking boy that has now been reduced
to a heap on the ground. "OH LINK. THEY'RE MORE INTELLIGENT THAN US!" He said, that she said,
that he said."no, no, no. it cant be. i musnt belive this. ITS NOT DORIAN GRAY IS IT? Has a
new portrait been painted finally after all this time? Has morrissey moved here? No no...
Please no, tell me you're lying. this is a sick joke. A parody.." "I wouldnt lie to you.
Not now." Tears roll down the others cheek in a steady stream, dark links' hat is used as
a tissue. "What will happen to us?! what if our games go on the..the clearance rack!" "It's
not that bad yet, we have time to interfere. Besides, they dont have a video game..yet. At
Least I dont think so..." The sobs continue, as a breeze blows though the meadow, a buzzing
is heard in the distance along with the melody of "Boys dont cry." Now, perhaps if the two
had been Braver, or smarter, or prettier or more like their replacements they would of
realized the presence of another. For high up in the very tree that they lay under, Navi
watches, a sadistic smirk forming on her lips.

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