Chapter 1 - numbers 1-40

1) I will not call Naruto 'Foxie'. At least, not to his face.

2) I will not call Sasuke 'Emo King of the World'. Not to his face or anyone who would tell him.

3) I will not call Sakura 'Fatty-Pants' to her face, Naruto or Lee. I'd really be asking for it then.

4) I will not call Ino 'Mrs. Piggy' unless talking to Sakura. c'mon, she'd agree with me there.

5) I will not hand Shikamaru a pillow in the middle of training. I'll wait until AFTER training to give it to him.

6) I will not call Chouji 'my Squishy'.

7) I will not list off reasons why I believe Sasuke is gay. the girls would kill me.

8) I will not scream 'Hinata, naruto wants to go out with you!' at Team 8. Shino and Kiba would kill me for it. But I could, don't get me wrong.

9) I will not tease Neji to provoke him into using the Byakugan.

10) I will not put pieces of tape over my eyebrows and color them black.

11) I will not dye my hair black and get it cut into a bowl cut.

12) I will not put on a good guy suit and walk around saying 'Hai, Gai-Sensei', 'No, Gai-sensei', 'why Gai-sensei?', 'REALLY Gai-sensei?! I NEVER KNEW!' just to bug Lee.

13) And if I did, I would tell Lee 'Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery'. Then I would tell everyone else what I did.

14) I will not spray Gaara's gourd with water and turn his sand to mud so he can't kill anyone with it. It wouldn't be fair.

15) I will not pour salt on Naruto's ramen. Geez, I don't need to see him spit out ramen.

16) I will not call Kankuro 'Kitty'.

17) I will not take Akamaru for a walk without Kiba knowing.

18) I will not break into Lee's house and go through his stuff. If I will, I promise not to get caught.

19) I will not make bets with lee he can't possibly win.

20) I will not make him do such things as 'run around konoha naked' if he loses a bet. Well, not anymore.

21) I will not steal Kankuro's puppets and replace them with coal and say 'you've been a naughty boy this year'.

22) I will not shave Sakura's head through the night. Even though it might scare Lee off so I can get with him.

23) I will not say 'Did you steal Gaara's eyebrows? Or Zabuza's?' to Lee. Or Gai, if I think about it.

24) I will not give Lee a Gaara plushie for his birthday.

25) I will not shave off Lee's eyebrows through the night.

26) I will not cut Neji's hair without his permission.

27) I will not shave Lee's head.

28) I will not get a tattoo that says 'I love Lee'.

29) I will not make Lee guess the area of aforesaid tattoo.

30) I will not make him take things off for a wrong guess.

31) I will not tell Temari or Ino that Shikamaru likes her, but that she'll have some competition to deal with, namely Lee.

32) I will not hold Gaara's teddy bear hostage.

33) I will not write love letters to Neji and sign them ' Love, Lee'. Not anymore, anyways.

34) I will not give Gaara a Lee plushie that says 'I love you' for his birthday. I might accept it, but i'm not sure he would.

35) I will not switch Sakura and Gaara's shampoo.

36) I will not blackmail Lee into wearing tight pants.

37) I will learn that tight pants + lee = BAD

38) I will not assume Gaara will invade Konoha for no reason. But if there's chocolate involved, I can't be too sure.

39) Taunting Lee about being gay and that it is alright is NOT appropriate fun.

40) I will not pour sand down Lee's good guy suit and say 'I think Gaara is mad at you Lee'.

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