Chapter 3 - Slight Confusion

The Cheat tossed the batteries on the top of the pile. Homestar was confused.
“But The Cheat, what are you going to do with all this useless junk?”
“It’s not junk. Well, ok, maybe it is junk. But it’s certainly not useless.”
Homestar gave him a blank stare.
“Oh, ok, it is useless. But it gives me something to do, ok? It’s not like I’ve got that idiot Strong Bad around anymore to keep me occupied.”
He looked around.
“I really should have brought my computer.”
He grabbed a purple handkerchief from the pile and tied it around his neck.
“I’m going to sneak over to Strong Bad’s house and grab my iMac. You stay here. Don’t touch anything, and don’t let anyone in. Got that?”
“...huh? Sowwy, I was looking at the couch.”
“Good.”
The Cheat disappeared out the door.

“Uhh, why am I guarding my own house again?”

Homestar sat down on his stool and looked up at the massive pile of random stolen items. ‘Why is The Cheat suck a jerk, anyways?’ he thought, and suddenly fell asleep.

---

The Cheat slipped in through the window of the house of Strong. Tiptoeing past Strong Sad’s room, he snuck into his computer room. He lifted the computer off the desk and made to leave the room when he froze in place at the sound of a voice.
“Strong Bad, have you seen my scanner?”
Oh crap. Strong Sad’s coming in.
The Cheat knew better than to panic; instead, he charged out the door and into Strong Sad. Or rather, over Strong Sad. He jumped out the window, leaving Strong Sad on the ground.

Strong Sad sighed. “This is just not my day.”

---

Homestar was dreaming. Fluffy white marshmallow clouds drifting over the Mountain Dew sea. What a tasty dream. He jumped from cloud to cloud, eating them as he went. Suddenly he saw a figure. A Mountain Dew bottle, maybe? Nah, it couldn’t be. It was yellow. And it had arms and legs. And spots. And a purple hankie around its neck. And it was yelling at him.

“HOMESTAR!! Wake up, you no-armed whitey!”

Homestar woke up. “I need to pee.”
“I don’t care. Did anyone else come in here?”
He thought for a moment. “No.”
“Are you sure?”
“No.”
The Cheat smacked his forehead. “Who came in?”
“I was having the tastiest dream before you came in.”
“Homestar-”
“Homsar says he’s a truck full of cranberries.”
“HOMESTAR!!!!”
“Aw-wight, it was Strong Bad. He said he wanted his apron back.”

The Cheat looked at his pile of stuff. “Homestar! Half of my stuff is gone!”
“What? It’s not like you needed it anyway.”
“What would you know- wait a minute.” He searched through the pile. “Oh crap! He took the laser gun!”
“You have a laser gun?”
“I had a laser gun. I nicked it from Bubs.”
“That’s illegal.”
“Yeah, well, so is the gun. Now, come on. I have to get it back.” The Cheat dragged Homestar out the front door.
“But why do I have to come?”
“Because I can’t even trust you to guard your own house. So we’re getting someone else. I think you can help me.”

Homestar gulped. He was just smart enough to know that whatever The Cheat meant by ‘help’ couldn’t be good.

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