Chapter 4 - Twisted

The Poopsmith was bored. It seemed there was no way to break the endless monotony of shovelling crap. ‘Surely there is some way to get out of this stupor?’ he thought. His thoughts were instantly answered by a little yellow guy and an armless white dude.

He shook his head.
“Aww, come on!” nagged The Cheat. “I desperately need your help!”
The Poopsmith narrowed his eyes.
“I do! I can’t guard the stuff myself, and I sure can’t trust this armless idiot to do it!”
“Hey!” interjected Homestar. “I’m not armless!”
“Whatever. Please help us!”
The Poopsmith snorted.
“I’ll give you Homestar!”
The Poopsmith raised an eyebrow. Homestar jumped. Literally.
“But- but you can’t give me away! I’m too delicate to be stuck around a guy shovelling crap all the time!”
“Watch me.”
The Poopsmith shook his head. You do that a lot when you’re a Poopsmith.
“Come on!” he nagged. “I’ll do anything! Just name it, and I’ll do it!”
The Poopsmith blinked.
“Oh, right. The vow of silence. Well, there’s gotta be something I can do to get you to help me!”
He looked at the Poopsmith, and at the pile of whatsit, and had an idea.

The Cheat dragged the wriggling sack through Homestar’s front door.

“What did this have to do with the pile of poosit?”
“Nothing, Homestar. But he didn’t know that until we nabbed him.”
“But you told him-”
“It was a trick, Homestar. I tricked him.”
“I don’t get it.”
The Cheat sighed. Getting through to this idiot was harder than it seemed.
“Just forget it. He’s essential to the plan.”
“You have a plan?”
“I do now.”
“Cool! What is it?”
“I’m not telling you.”
“Aww, come on! Why not?”
“Because you’re untrustworthy. You could spill the beans at any time. This plan could change the way Free Country USA is run for all eternity.”
“Why do you want to change Usa?”
“Because it sucks and I’m bored.”
“Fair enough.”
Homestar stared.
“Why?”
“Keep talking and I’ll gouge your eyes out with a sharpened pencil.”
“You’re twisted.”
“Yup.”
“Wow. I was kinda expecting you to deny that.”

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