Chapter 1 - part 1
Submitted October 28, 2006 Updated October 28, 2006 Status Incomplete | heres the cast list Manga (oc) : Mulan dojo: Mushu Chase: shang Jack: ling Dashi Fung guan and other old guys: ancestors Wuya: Shan yu Sokka: yaoi Clay: chan po not all charecters have parts sorry
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Cartoons » Xiaolin Showdown |
Chapter 1 - part 1
Chapter 1 - part 1
[Chinese guard is seen walking on The Great Wall. Shan-Yu's falcon swoops
down and hits the guard on the head knocking his helmet off. The falcon lands
on top of a flag pole in front of a full moon and lets out a large cry. One
grappling hook comes over The Great Wall. The guard walks over to the edge
and sees many grappling hooks coming towards him]
Guard [yelling]: We're under attack! Light the signal!
[Guard runs to the tower and up the ladder as Hun Bald Man #1 and Hun Long
Hair Man appear trying to stop him. Hun Bald Man #1 breaks the ladder with
his sword just as Guard reaches the top. The guard picks up the torch to
light the fire and sees Wuya jump over the edge of the tower and looks at
him across from the caldron. The guard throws the torch into the caldron
lighting a large fire. Wuya watches as each tower lights their caldrons
one by one]
Guard [sternly]: Now all of China knows you're here.
wuya [taking the flag and holding it over the fire]: Perfect.
[Cut to the palace. The large doors to the central chamber open as General Li
walks in flanked on his left and right by soldiers and approaches the Emperor.
He bows, then looks up]
General Li: Your Majesty, the Huns have crossed our Northern border.
Chi Fu: Impossible! No one can get through The Great Wall. [The Emperor
motions for Chi Fu's silence]
General Li: Wuya is leading them. We'll set up defenses around your
palace immediately.
Emperor [forcefully]: No! Send your troops to protect my people. Chi Fu,
Chi Fu: Yes, your highness.
Emperor: Deliver conscription notices throughout all the provinces. Call up
reserves and as many new recruits as possible.
General Li: Forgive me your Majesty, but I believe my troops can stop him.
Emperor: I wont take any chances, General. A single grain of rice can tip
the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.
[Cut to Manga using her chopsticks to single out a grain of rice on top of the
mound of rice]
Manga: Quiet and demure...graceful...polite...[picking up some rice with her
chopsticks and eating a mouthful] delicate...refined...poised... [She sets
down her chopsticks and writes down a final word on her right arm] punctual.
[A cock crows] Aiya. [Calling out] Little brother. Little brother. Lit-
ahhh, there you are. Who's the smartest doggie in the world? Come on smart
boy, can you help me with my chores today?
[Manga ties a sack of grain around Little Brother's waist. She ties a stick
onto Little brother so that end of it is in front of Little Brother's face.
She ties the bone on the end of the stick just out of reach. Little Brother
begins to run after the bone which he cannot reach. Manga opens the door for
Little Brother and he runs into the door frame, then out the open door.
Little brother runs by the chickens and Khan - the family horse]
[Cut to Manga's Father, Fa Zhou, kneeling and praying before the Fa family's
ancestors]
Fa Zhou: Honorable ancestors, please help Manga impress the matchmaker today.
Little Brother [running into the temple and around Fa Zhou scattering grain
around the floor]: Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.
[The chickens follow Little Brother into the temple and begin to feed on the
grain]
Fa Zhou: Please, PLEASE, help her.
[Manga steps up to the temple seeing Little Brother on his hind legs trying to
get the bone. Manga bends the stick down so that Little brother can reach the
bone. Little brother gnaws on the bone happily. Manga continues toward the
temple]
Manga [calling out]: Father I brought your--whoop! [Fa Zhou bumps into Manga.
The cup falls to the ground and Fa Zhou catches the teapot with the handle of
his cane]
Fa Zhou: Manga--
Manga: I brought a spare. [Manga pulls out a cup from underneath the back of
her dress and begins to pour the tea]
Fa Zhou: Manga--
Manga [hurried]: Remember, the doctor said three cups of tea in the morning--
Fa Zhou: Manga--
Manga: And three at night.
Fa Zhou: Manga, you should already be in town. We're counting on you to up--
Manga: --uphold the family honor. Don't worry father. I wont let you down.
[Manga covers over the writing on her arm with here sleeve] Wish me luck.
[Manga hurries down the stairs]
Fa Zhou [calling out]: Hurry! [to himself] I'm going to...pray some more.
[Fa Zhou turns and walks back into the temple]
[Cut to the town with Fa Li looking worried]
Bath Lady [poking out of her building]: Fa Li, is your daughter here yet?
The matchmaker is not a patient woman. [She goes back into the building]
Fa Li: Of all days to be late. I should have prayed to the ancestors for
luck.
Grandma Fa [walking in with a cricket in a cage]: How lucky can they be,
they're dead. Besides, I've got all the luck we'll need. [Speaking to
cricket] This is your chance to prove yourself. [cricket chirps approvingly.
Grandma Fa covers her eyes steps into a busy street]
Fa Li [excitedly]: Grandma No!
[The traffic barely misses Grandma Fa as she crosses the busy street. But two
horse and carriage collide causing a big accident. She arrives at the other
side of the street, uncovers here eyes and looks at cricket]
Grandma Fa: Yep, this cricket's a lucky one. [cricket falls over out of
fright]
Fa Li [sighing in relief]: Hai.
[Manga arrives on Khan jumping over the recent accident in the street and
jumps off with hay stuck in her hair]
Manga: I'm here. [Seeing a stern look from her mother] What? But Mama I had
to--
Fa Li: None of your 'xcuses. Now let's get you cleaned up. [They walk
together into the preparation area]
[Song: Honor to us all]
Bath Lady: [all the while Bath Lady undresses Manga and pushes her into the
Bath]
This is what you give me
to work with?
Well, honey, I've seen worse.
We're gonna turn
this sow's ear
Into a silk purse. [Bath Lady moves the silk partition aside showing Manga in
the bath]
Manga [spoken]: It's freezing.
Fa Li [spoken]: It would have been warm if you were here on time.
Bath Lady [washing Manga's hair]:
We'll have you
Washed and dried
Primped and polished
till you glow with pride
Trust my recipe for
instant bride
You'll bring honor to us all
Fa Li [grabbing a sponge and Manga's right arm to start cleaning her. She
notices the writing] [spoken]: Manga, what's this?
Manga [Drawing her arm back and batting her eyelashes] [spoken]: Ahh, notes,
in case I forget something?
Grandma Fa [spoken]: Here, hold this [handscricket to Fa Li]. We'll
need more luck than I thought. [Manga looks on with an air of disappointment]
[Cut to the hair dressers]
Hair Dresser 1 [Brushing and combing Manga's hair much to Manga's chagrin]:
Wait and see
When we're through
Hair Dresser 2:
Boys will gladly go to
war for you
Hair Dresser 1:
With good fortune
Hair Dresser 2 [Finalizing the hairdo to look exactly like hers]:
And a great hairdo
Both:
You'll bring honor to us all
Fa Li and others: [Manga following her Mother passes a xiangqi game and
pauses to make an impressive move. Manga has a smug look on her face when Fa
Li comes back and drags Manga away]
A girl can bring her family
Great honor in one way
By striking a good match
And this could be the day
Dresser 1 [Dresser 1, Dresser 2, and Fa Li dress Manga]:
Men want girls
with good taste
Dresser 2:
Calm
Fa Li:
Obedient
Dresser 1:
Who work fast-paced
Fa Li:
With good breeding
Dresser 2 [Pulling the dress tight around her waist]:
And a tiny waist
Manga [expressing her waist being squeezed tight] [spoken]: huh.
All Three:
You'll bring honor to us all
Chorus: [Manga follows Fa Li and sees boy stealing a doll from a girl. Manga
grabs the doll from the boy and returns it to its owner]
We all must serve
our Emperor
Who guards us from the Huns
A man by bearing arms
A girl by bearing sons
Make-up Lady/Fa Li: [Putting on Manga's face, powder, lipstick and eye liner]
[in a 3 person round]
When we're through
you can't fail
Like a lotus blossom
soft and pale
How could any fellow
say "No sale"
You'll bring honor to us all
[Make-Up Lady holds a mirror so Manga can see her reflection. Not looking
pleased, Manga takes her single, short bang and brings it down in front of her
forehead and smiles]
Fa Li [spoken. Fa Li places a hair comb in Manga's hair]: There, you're
ready.
Grandma Fa [spoken]: Not yet! An apple for serenity [putting an apple in
Manga's mouth]...A pendant for balance [places a yin-yang pendant under her
sash] [sings]
Beads of jade for beauty [putting beads around Manga's neck]
You must proudly show it [Grandma Fa raises her chin high with her hand]
Now add a cricket just for luck [putting the cage with Cri-Kee under Manga's
sash in the back. Cri-Kee doesn't look pleased]
And even you can't blow it
Manga: [Walking to catch up with the other maidens]
Ancestors
Hear my plea
Help me not to make a fool of me
And to not uproot my fam'ly tree
Keep my father standing tall
Maidens and Manga: [Manga taking the parasol from Fal Li and running to fall
in line with the other 4 maidens]
Scarier than the undertaker
We are meeting our
matchmaker
All Townspeople:
Destiny
Guard our girls
And our future
as it fast unfurls
Please look kindly on
these cultured pearls
Each a perfect porcelain doll
Maiden #1: Please bring honor to us
Maiden #2: Please bring honor to us
Maiden #3: Please bring honor to us
Maiden #4: Please bring honor to us
Manga and Maidens: Please bring honor to us all!
[All Girls and Manga arrive before the Matchmaker crouched down behind their
parasols. End of song]
Matchmaker [looking at her clipboard]: Fa Manga
Manga [Jumping up and raising her hand]: Present.
Matchmaker: Speaking without permission.
Manga: Oops.
Grandma Fa [to Fa Li]: Who spit in her bean curd?
[Manga walks into the Matchmaker's building with the Matchmaker following
behind and closing the door]
Matchmaker [looking over Manga]: Huh, Hmm, too skinny. [Cri-Kee escapes from
his cage. Manga struggles to catch him] Hmph, not good for bearing sons.
[Manga puts Cri-Kee in her mouth when Matchmaker turns around to face her]
Recite the final admonition.
Manga [nodding and smiling]: Mmm-Hmm. [Takes out fan and covers her mouth as
she spits out Cri-Kee] Ptu
Matchmaker: Well...
Manga [with dignity]: Fulfill your duties calmly and re...f--[looking at her
arm with smeared writing] spectfully. Reflect before you snack [surprised,
Mulan looks at her arm again] act. [now rapidly] This shall bring you honor
and glory. [Fanning herself rapidly and sighing in relief] Huh.
Matchmaker [snatches the fan and looks at it on both sides looking for notes
not finding any. Manga smiles big when Matchmaker looks at her. Matchmaker
grabs Mulan's right arm pulling her along while smearing the writing and
leaving some ink on her hand] Hmmm, this way. Now, pour the tea [Pushing a
teapot towards Manga]. To please your future in-laws you must demonstrate a
sense of dignity [Matchmaker smears ink around her mouth. Manga staring at
Matchmaker pours some tea onto the table then notices her mistake and pours
the tea into the cup] and refinement. You must also be poised. [Manga
notices Cri-kee in the tea-cup as Matchmaker takes the cup]
Manga [quiet and timid]: Um, pardon me.
Matchmaker: And silent! [Matchmaker sniffs the tea]
Manga [reaching and grabbing the teacup]: Could I just take that back...one
moment.
[They struggle for the teacup and it turns over on Matchmaker and Cri-kee
jumps down matchmaker's dress]
Matchmaker: Why you clumsy--[Matchmaker feels Cri-Kee in her dress and dances
around] Wooo, woooo, wooooooo, [Matchmaker knocks over her pot of coals, and
sits down on the coals. Matchmaker jumps around screaming] Ahhhhhhhhhhh
[Manga grabs her fan and briskly fans the charred area on Matchmaker's behind
causing it to flame up. Manga looks surprised about her mistake]
[Cut to outside Matchmakers building showing Grandma Fa with much noise coming
from Matchmaker's building]
Grandma Fa [to Fa Li]: I think it's going well, don't you?
Matchmaker [running out of the building screaming]: Put it out! Put it out!
Put it out! [Manga takes the teapot, throws the tea on Matchmaker and puts out
the fire. She bows, hands the teapot back to Matchmaker and covers her face
as she walks toward Fa Li and Grandma Fa] [with anger] You are a disgrace!
[Matchmaker throws the teapot down smashing it to pieces] You may look like a
bride, but you will never bring your family honor!
[The townsfolk who have gathered whisper and walk away]
[Cut to Manga walking through the gate with her home leading khan. She looks
sorrowful. Fa Zhou sees his daughter and smiles. Manga sees her father's
smile. She covers her face with Khan's head and leads him to the water
trough]
[Song: Reflection]
Manga:
Look at me [looking at her reflection in the water trough]
I will never pass for
a perfect bride [taking off her earrings and beads of jade]
Or a perfect daughter [Manga watches Fa Li relating what happened at the
Matchmaker's to Fa Zhou]
Can it be
I'm not meant to play
this part? [Manga releases Cri-Kee back to the wild]
Now I see
That if I were to truly
To be myself [Manga hops along the bridge railing]
I would break my
family's heart
Who is that girl I see [Manga looks into the pond and sees her own
reflection]
Staring straight
Back at me? [Manga puts her hand on the Great Stone Dragon and looks toward
the temple]
Why is my reflection someone
I don't know? [Cri-Kee rowing across the pond on a lily pad]
Somehow I cannot hide [Manga walking into the family temple]
Who I am [Cri-Kee watches Manga in the temple seeing multiple reflections of
herself in the ancestors' stones]
Though I've tried [Manga bows to the ancestors]
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside? [Manga finishes wiping off her make-up seeing her reflection
in the stones]
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside? [Manga gets up and heads out the temple]
[End of song. Manga sits on a bench under the blossom tree. Fa Zhou
approaches her, clearing his throat. Manga sees him approaching and turns her
head away. Fa Zhou sits down beside Manga]
Fa Zhou: My, my, what beautiful blossoms we have this year [looking up into
the blossom tree]. But look, this one's late. But, I'll bet that when it
blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all. [Manga and Fa Zhou share
smiles. Drums start pounding announcing the arrival of Chi Fu and two guards
on horseback]
Manga: What is it?
[Fa Zhou gets up and walks to the entrance of their house with Manga
following]
Fa Li: Manga, stay inside.
[Grandma Fa clears her throat catching Manga's attention and motions inside.
Manga spies the railing near the wall and climbs up to watch over the roof]
Chi Fu: Citizens I bring you a proclamation from the Imperial City: the
Huns have invaded China!
Townspeople [expressing surprise]: No!
Chi Fu: By order of the Emperor, one man from every family must serve in the
Imperial Army. The Xiao family [a family member steps up, bows to the guard
and takes the conscription notice from the guard]. The Yi family.
Yi's Son [holding his old father back]: I will serve the Emperor in my
father's place.
Chi Fu: The Fa Family.
Manga: No.
[Fa Zhou gives his cane to Fa Li and walks toward Chi Fu. Fa Zhou bows before
the horsemen]
Fa Zhou [standing proud]: I am ready to serve the Emperor. [Fa Zhou reaches
for the conscription notice]
Manga [running outside to keep her father from taking the conscription
notice]: Father, you can't go.
Fa Zhou [turning to see his daughter]: Manga!
Manga: Please sir, my father has already fought bravely--
Chi Fu: Silence! You would do well to teach your daughter to hold her tongue
in a man's presence.
Fa Zhou [looking away from Manga]: Manga, you dishonor me.
[Grandma Fa guides Manga back away]
Chi Fu [handing Fa Zhou the conscription notice]: Report tomorrow at the Wu
Shu camp.
Fa Zhou: Yes, sir. [Fa Zhou walks back into the homestead refusing to take
his cane from Fa Li]
Chi Fu [fading out as we follow Fa Zhou]: The Chu family. The Wen family.
The Chang family. The...
[Cut to Fa Zhou in his armory at night. Fa Zhou takes out his sword and
practices his stances. Whan he balances on his right leg, his leg injury acts
up and he falls. Unbeknownst to her father, Manga watches in horror. She
breathes heavily]
[Cut to dinner. The Fa Zhou, Grandma Fa, Fa Li, and Manga eat in silence.
Thunder can be heard and lightning can be seen through the opaque window.
Mulan pours the tea for her family. She slams her teacup down on the table
and stands up]
Manga: You shouldn't have to go.
Fa Li: Manga!
Mulan: There are plenty of young men to fight for China.
Fa Zhou: It is an honor to protect my country and my family.
Manga [angrily]: So you'll die for honor!
Fa Zhou [standing up and angered]: I will DIE doing what's right.
Manga [starts to speak but is cut off]: But if you--
Fa Zhou: I know my place, it is time you learned yours.
[Manga looking like she's about to cry, turn away from Fa Zhou and runs
outside into the rain storm and cries]
[Cut to Manga sitting at the base of the Great Stone Dragon in the rain.
Manga looks down to see her reflection in the puddle caused by the rain. She
watches her parents in the bedroom. Fa Li turns away from Fa Zhou and walks
out of site. Fa Zhou blows out the light. Manga gets up and walks to the Fa
Family Temple. Manga's image reflects off the stone tablets as she lights
incense and places it in the hanging encense holder. She bows and prays to
her ancestors. Getting up, Manga hurries down the steps. Cri-Kee sees her and
hops down from above and follows her. Manga goes to her parent's bedroom and
takes the conscription notice replacing it with the hair comb her mother gave
to her. She pauses to give her parents a loving, sorrowful look and hurries
out. Cut to Manga in the armory. She opens the cabinet with the armor.
Using her father's sword, she cuts her hair short and ties it up above her
head. She finishes putting on the armor and ties it in the front. She takes
the sword and places it in the scabbard to her left. Cut to Manga in the
stable doorway. Khan rears back in fright at the sight of Manga. Manga goes
forward and comforts Khan letting him know her identity. Manga walks Khan out
of the stable, Cri-Kee watches from the ground as she passes by. Manga takes
one sorrowful glance back at her parents bedroom and rides Khan through the
gate and off to camp.]
[Cut to the face of a statue in the Fa Family Temple. The eyes glow. Cut to
Grandma Fa. She wakes up with a start rising in bed. Cut to Grandma Fa
walking into Fa Li and Fa Zhou's bedroom, both are in bed]
Grandma Fa: Manga is gone.
Fa Zhou [waking up]: What? It can't be. [Fa Zhou looks at his night stand
and notices the hair comb in place of his conscription notice. He checks the
cabinet and sees his armor is gone. He hurries outside] [calling out] Manga!
[He stumbles while walking because of his leg injury] No.
Fa Li [kneeling down beside the fallen Fa Zhou]: You must go after her. She
could be killed!
Fa Zhou [sadly]: If I reveal her, she will be. [Fa Zhou embraces Fa Li]
Grandma Fa: Ancestors, hear our prayer: Watch over Manga.
[Cut to the Fa Family Temple. A wind blows out the incense at the base of the
center stone. The center stone begins to glow as Dashi comes to
life]
Dashi [motioning to a bronze dragon]: Dojo, awaken!
[Dojo comes to life and falls to the ground flat on his back all being
obscured by smoke]
Dojo [rising from the smoke arms stretched out]: I live! So tell me what
mortal needs my protection Great Ancestor. You just say the word and I'm
there.
Dashi [agitated]: dojo!
Dojo: Hey, let me say something. Anybody who is foolish enough to threaten
our family, vengeance will be MINE. Hrrrrr.
Dashi [sternly to silence Dojo]: Dojo! These are the family
guardians [motioning towards the stone statues on pedestals near the ceiling].
They...
Mushu [dejectedly]: Protect the family.
First Ancestor [pointing to the empty pedestal]: And you, oh demoted one.
Mushu: I...ring the gong.
First Ancestor: That's right, now, wake up the ancestors.
Mushu: One family reunion coming right up. [ringing the gong] Okay people,
people look alive, lets go! C'mon get up. Let's move it, rise and shine.
You're way past the beauty sleep thing now trust me!
Ancestor 1: I knew it, I knew it. That Mulan was a trouble maker from the
start.
Ancestor 3: Don't look at me, she gets it from your side of the family.
Ancestor 2: She's just trying to help her father.
Ancestor 4 [appearing out of thin air]: But, if she is discovered, Fa Zhou
will be forever shamed. Dishonor will come to the family. Traditional values
will disintegrate.
Ancestor 5: Not to mention they'll lose the farm.
Ancestor 1: My children never caused such trouble. They all became
acupuncturists.
Ancestor 3: Well, We can't all be acupuncturists.
Ancestor 6: No, your great granddaughter had to be cross-dresser!
[All ancestors argue at once, except First Ancestor]
Ancestor 7: Let a guardian bring her back.
Ancestor 8 [grabbing Mushu and bringing him next to a guardian]: Yeah, awaken
the most cunning.
Ancestor 4 [taking Mushu and holding him next to the stone rabbit guardian]:
No, the swiftest.
Ancestor 9 [grabbing Mushu and holding him next to the stone monkey guardian]:
No, send the wisest.
First Ancestor: Silence! We must send the most powerful of all [Motioning to
the Great Stone Dragon as it is seen through the window]
Mushu [climbs up the empty guardian post laughing]: Ho, ho, heh, heh. Okay,
okay, I get the drift, I'll go. [All Ancestors give a quick look of surprise
and laugh uncontrollably] You all don't think I can do it. Watch this here.
[Mushu produces a small flame from his mouth] Ah, ha, Jump back, I'm pretty
hot huh. Don't make me have to singe nobody to prove no point.
First Ancestor [grabbing Mushu and pulling away from the post]: You had your
chance to protect the Fa family.
Ancestor 6: Your mis-guidance led Fa Deng to disaster.
Fa Deng [with his decapitated head on his lap]: Yeah, thanks a lot.
Mushu: And your point is?
First Ancestor: The point is we will be sending a real dragon to retrieve
Mulan.
Mushu: What? But I'm a real dragon.
First Ancestor [grabbing Mushu and pulling him away from the guardian post as
Mushu fights to hold on]: You are not worthy of this spot. Now, awaken the
Great Stone Dragon. [First Ancestor throws Mushu out of the temple]
Mushu [looking back into the temple]: So you'll get back to me on the job
thing.
[An ancestor throws Mushu's gong and hits Mushu in the face]
Mushu [walking with a slouch and banging the gong on the ground]: Just one
chance is that too much to ask? I mean, it's not like it'll kill ya.
Mushu [rings the gong and looks at the Great Stone Dragon]: Yo rocky, wake
up! You gotta go fetch Mulan. [pauses as nothing happens. Mushu walks over
to the side of the statue] C'mon boy, go get her, go on, [throws the gong
stick off the screen and whistles] Come on. [Angrily while climbing up the
Great Stone Dragon] Grrr, Grrrr. [speaking in his ear and banging the ear
with the gong] Hello, helloooooo. [curtly] Hello [bangs the gong extra hard
against the ear causing it to break off]. Uh oh. [The Great Stone Dragon
crumbles to the ground, head intact minus the ear]. [knocks on the dragon's
head] Uh, Stoney, Stooooneeey. Oh man, they're gonna kill me!
First Ancestor [calling out through the temple window]: Great Stone Dragon,
have you awaken?
Mushu [holding the head of the Great Stone Dragon up to that First Ancestor
can only see it's head and Mushu's body]: Uhhh, Yes, I just woke up. And I
am the Great Stone Dragon, good morning [Mushu waves]. I will go forth and
fetch Mulan. Did, did I mention that I was the Great Stone Dragon?
First Ancestor: Go, The fate of the Fa Family rests in your claws.
Mushu: Don't even worry about it, I will not lose face. [Mushu falls down
the hill under the weight of the Great Stone Dragon's head and lands on the
dragon's pedestal with the head falling on top of him]
Mushu [muffled]: Ow, my elbow. Aw, aw, I know I twisted something.
[Throwing the head off him] That's just great. Now what? I'm doomed! And
all 'cause miss man decides to take her little drag show on the road.
[Cri-Kee enters stage right]
Cri-Kee: Chirp, Chirp.
Mushu: Go get her? What's the matter with you? After this great stone
Humpty Dumpty mess, I'd have to bring her home with a medal to get back in the
temple. Wait a minute, that's it! I make Mulan a war hero, then they'll be
begging me to come back to work. That's the master plan. Oh, you've gone and
done it now. [Mushu runs off stage right]
Cri-Kee [hopping along side of Mushu]: Chirp. Chirp Chirp Chirp.
Mushu [pushing Cri-Kee away]: Hey, what makes you think you're coming?
Cri-Kee: Chirp, Chirp.
Mushu: You're lucky? Ho, ho, heh. Do I look like a sucker to you?
Cri-Kee: Chirp. Chirp.
Mushu: Whach' you mean loser? How 'bout I pop one of your antenna's off and
throw it across the yard. Then who's a loser, me or you?
[Interlude]
[Cut to Shan-Yu leading his army at a charge on horseback through a forest.
He stops and motions stage right. Hun Archer, Hun Strong Guy, Hun Long-Hair
Guy dismount and walk into the forest. They throw down two Imperial scouts
before the rest of the army]
Hun Long-Hair Guy: Imperial scouts.
[Shan Yu dismounts and walks towards the scouts]
Scout #1: Shan-Yu.
[He crouches down in front of them]
Shan-Yu [adjusting Scout #1's collar]: Nice work, gentlemen. You found the
Hun army. [motioning to the soldiers on horseback. The Hun army laughs]
Scout #2: The Emperor will stop you.
Shan-Yu [grabs Scout #2 by the shirt collar and lifts him up to his face]:
Stop me? He invited me. By building his wall, he challenged my strength.
Well I'm here to play his game [Shan-Yu throws Scout #2 to the ground and
points his sword at Scout #1 as he gets up and runs] [calling out to the
scouts] Go! Tell your emperor to send his strongest armies. [Quietly] I'm
ready.
[The Imperial Scouts run off towards the palace]
Shan-Yu [scratching his chin]: How many men does it take to deliver a
message.
Archer Guy [drawing back his bow]: One.
[End Interlude]
[Cut to Mulan on a hill outside of the camp. Khan is sitting watching]
Mulan: Okay, okay, how 'bout this? Ahem, [in her manly voice] excuse me,
where do I sign in? Hah, I see you have a sword. I have one too. They're
very manly and tough [Mulan bites her lip as she mishandles pulling the sword
out of the scabbard and it falls to the ground. Khan rolls on his back in
laughter. Mulan throws her shoe and hits Khan in the head with it quieting
Khan]. I'm working on it. Who am I fooling? It's going to take a miracle to
get me into the army.
[Mushu appears as a giant shadow being cast on a rock with flames on either
side. Mushu's real appearance remains out of sight]
Mushu [in a Southern Baptist Preacher's voice]: Did I hear someone ask for a
miracle!? Let me hear you say aye!
Mulan [Running and hiding behind a rock]: Ahhhhhh.
Mushu: That's close enough.
Mulan [from behind a rock]: Ghost.
Mushu: Get ready Mulan your serpentine salvation is at hand. For I have
been sent by your ancestors-- [notices Cri-Kee making a hand shadow of a
dragon on the rock and stamps him down with his foot] to guide you through
your masquerade. [bending down to Cri-Kee] C'mon, you're gonna stay you're
gonna work. [returning to Mulan] Heed my word, 'cause if the army finds out
that you are a girl, the penalty is death. [big flames shoot up from the
rocks]
Mulan: Who are you?
Mushu: Who am I? Who am I? I am the guardian of lost souls. [Mulan smiles
big in anticipation of seeing her guardian] I am the powerful, the
pleasurable, the indestructible [coming out from the rocks to show his real
size] Mushu! Oh hah, hah, pretty hot, huh? [Khan stomps on Mushu. Mulan
pushes Khan back]
Mulan: Ah, my ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?
Mushu: Hey, dragon, dragon, not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing [flips
out his tongue to show Mulan what he means].
Mulan: You're uh...
Mushu: Intimidating? Awe inspiring?
Mulan [making a hand gesture to denote his smallness of size]: Tiny.
Mushu [with a look of disappointment]: Of course. I'm travel size for your
convenience. If I was my real size, your cow here [patting Khan on the nose]
would die of fright. [Khan tries to bite Mushu] [pointing to the ground
speaking to Khan] Down Bessy. My powers are beyond your mortal imagination.
For instance, [leaning in and looking at Mulan's chest] my eyes can see
straight through your armor. [Mulan cover her bust with her left arm and
slaps Mushu with the right] Ow. [angrily] All right, that's it! Dishonor!
Dishonor on your whole family. [aside to Cri-Kee] Make a note of this
[Cri-Kee grabs a leaf and a pen and starts writing]. [Loudly with gusto]
Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your cow. Dis-
Mulan [pleadingly while covering Mushu's mouth]: Stop! I'm sorry, I'm sorry
[kneeling down in front of Mushu]. I'm just nervous. I've never done this
before.
Mushu: Then you're gonna have to trust me. And don't you slap me no more, we
clear on that? [Mulan nods emphatically]. All right. Okey dokey, let's get
this show on the road. Cri-Kee, get the bags [Mushu starts walking to the
camp]. [to Khan] Let's move it heifer.
[Cut to Mulan at the camp's entrance]
Mushu [hiding in Mulan's armor poking his head out from her back]: Okay this
is it, time to show 'em your man walk. Shoulders back, chest high, feet
apart, head up [Mushu pulls Mulan's head back] ...and strut 2, 3, break it
down, 2, 3 and work it, [Mulan walks into the camp drawing the attention the
men who see her. Mulan walks into a tent and sees a man picking his nose and
another man picking out dirt from between his toes with chopsticks] Beautiful
isn't it?
Mulan [making a face of disgust and continuing to walk]: They're disgusting.
Mushu: No, they're men. And you're going to have to act just like them, so
pay attention.
[Mulan stops and watches Yao, Ling, Chien-Po and Tattoo Soldier]
Tattoo Soldier [showing the dragon tattoo on his chest and belly]: Look, this
tattoo will protect me from harm.
[Yao thinks for a moment, then punches Tattoo Soldier in the stomach causing
Ling to laugh. Mulan watches in utter amazement. Yao kisses his hand]
Ling [laughing]: I hope you can get your money back.
Mulan: I don't think I can do this.
Mushu: It's all attitude. Be tough like this guy here [looking at Yao].
[Mulan looks at Yao as he hocks up a loogie and spits]
Yao [noticing Mulan watching him]: What are you looking at?
Mushu: Punch him, it's how men say 'hello.'
[Mulan looks at her fist, then punches Yao from behind on the shoulder. The
force causes Yao to run into Chien-Po]
Chien-Po: Oh Yao, you made a friend.
Mushu: Good, Now slap him on the behind, they like that.
[Mulan slaps Yao on the behind]
Yao: Wu hoo hooooo. [grabbing Mulan buy the collar] I'm going to hit you so
hard it'll make your ancestors dizzy.
Chien-Po [Holding and picking up Yao]: Yao, relax and chant with me.
Yaaaaaaa Moouuuu Ahhhhhh Doooou Fuuuu Daaaaa.
Yao: Ya Mi Ah To Fu Da.
Chien-Po: Feel better?
Yao [relaxed]: Yeah. [Chien-Po places Yao back on the ground] [to Mulan
while walking away] Aaaaa, you ain't worth my time chicken boy.
Mushu [loudly]: Chicken boy!? Say that to my face ya limp noodle!
[Yao grabs Mulan by the collar cocking back his arm to punch. Mulan ducks as
Yao hits Ling standing behind her]
Yao: Oh, sorry Ling. Hey!
[Yao grabs Mulan's foot as she starts to crawl away. Ling kicks Yao on the butt causing him to land on Chien-Po's stomach. Ling Jump
attacks Mulan, but she ducks and he lands on Yao on top of Chien-Po]
Ling: You're dead. [They fight on top of Chien-Po. Mulan runs away. Ling notices Mulan and then points toward her] Oh, there he goes.
[Mulan runs into a tent and stops. Yao, Ling, and Chien-Po (in that order) run through the tent. Yao stops short as he is about to run into a
soldier in a line for food. He looks behind him with concerned eyes as Ling stops in time. Chien-Po bumps into Ling causing the entire line
of soldiers to fall forward and knock over the pot of congee and the cook behind it. The men look to the back of the line and spy Mulan who
has emerged from the tent. They angrily start walking towards her. Mulan has a look of horror on her face as if trouble is about to brew]
Mulan: Hey guys.
[Chi Fu watches and then walks into the tent. General Li and Li Shang are in the tent.]
General Li [motioning with his pointer to a map of the region]: The Huns have struck here, here and here. I will take the main troops up to
the Tung Shao Pass and stop Shan-Yu before he destroys this village.
Chi Fu: Excellent strategy, Sir. I do love surprises, Ha ha, ha, ha.
General Li: You will stay here and train the new recruits. When Chi Fu believes you're ready, you will join us...Captain. [General Li hands
a sword to Shang]
Shang: Captain?
Chi Fu: Oh, this is an enormous responsibility, General. Uh, perhaps a soldier with more experience--
General Li: Number one in his class, extensive knowledge of training techniques, [leaning back smugly stroking his chin] an impressive
military lineage. I believe Li Shang will do an excellent job.
Shang [excitedly]: Oh, I will. I wont let you down. This is, I mean, I...[somberly] yes sir.
General Li [gets up and starts walking out of the tent]: Very good then. We'll toast China's victory at the Imperial City. [to Chi Fu] I'll
expect a full report in three weeks.
Chi Fu [to Shang]: And I wont leave anything out. [exits through the tent]
Shang [while tying his sword to his uniform]: Captain Li Shang, Hmmm, leader of China's finest troops. No, the greatest troops of all time.
Heh, heh, heh, heh. [Shang walks out of the tent to see the recruits fighting. He stands stage left of Chi Fu and General Li. Injured Recruit
sees the General and salutes him as he falls to the ground. General Li steps over Injured Recruit and mounts his horse]
Chi Fu: Most impressive.
General Li: Good luck Captain. [The general and his mounted troops leave the camp]
Shang [quietly, to himself]: Good luck, Father. [Shang looks at his troops and sighs]
Chi Fu [smirking, with board and brush in hand]: Day one.
Shang [shouting]: Soldiers!
All Recruits [backing away revealing Mulan and pointing at her. Mulan is crouching in the fetal position on the ground]: He started it!
[Shang approaches Mulan and looks down over her. Mulan looks up, sees Shang over top of her and gets up quickly dusting herself off]
Shang [to Mulan]: I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp!
Mulan: Sorry, [in her man voice] Uhh, I mean, sorry you had to see that. [with her fist she taps Shang on the shoulder] You know how it is
when you get those, uh [pounding her chest] manly urges and you just have to kill something [slapping her hand], fix things, uh, cook
outdoors.
Shang: What's your name?
Mulan [stumbling]: Ahh, I, uhhh, I, uh--
Chi Fu [stepping into Mulan's face]: Your commanding officer just asked you a question.
Mulan: Uhh, I've got a name. Huh. And it's a boys name too.
Mushu [from the back of Mulan]: Ling, How 'bout Ling?
Mulan [to Mushu motioning with her head to Ling]: His name's Ling.
Shang: I didn't ask for his name. I asked for yours.
Mushu: Try, uh, ahh, Chu!
Mulan: Ah Chu.
Shang: Ah Chu?
Mushu: Gesundheit. He He, I kill myself.
Mulan [whispering over her shoulder]: Mushu.
Shang: Mushu?
Mulan: No.
Shang: Then what is it!
Mushu: Ping! Ping was my best friend growing up!
Mulan: It's Ping.
Shang: Ping.
Mushu: Of course Ping DID steal my gir-[Mulan reaches back and grabs holds Mushu's mouth together]
Mulan: Yes, my name is Ping.
Shang: Let me see your conscription notice. [Takes the notice from Mulan] Fa Zhou, *the* Fa Zhou?
Chi Fu: I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son.
Mulan: Um, he...doesn't talk about me much. [Mulan tries to hawk up a loogie and spit but the saliva just runs from her mouth. The
recruits laugh]
Chi Fu: I can see why, the boy's an absolute lunatic.
Shang [to the recruits]: Okay gentlemen, thanks to your new friend Ping, you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice. And
tomorrow, the real work begins.
[All recruits growl at Mulan]
Mushu [Popping out the front of Mulan's armor]: You know, we have to work on your people skills.
[Cut to Mulan sleeping in her tent. Mushu winds up Cri-Kee's wings. Cri-Kee rings like an alarm clock]
Mushu: All right, rise and shine sleeping beauty. [Mulan rises and blinks] C'mon [rapping on Mulan's head with each syllable] hup, hup,
hup. [Mulan groans, lies back down and pulls the covers over her head. Mushu pulls the covers off Mulan entirely] Get your clothes on.
Get ready. Got breakfast for ya. [Mushu jumps onto Mulan's knee with a bowl of porridge] Look, you get porridge, and it's happy to see
you. [Mushu shows her the bowl with two eggs and bacon looking like a smiley face. Cri-Kee pops up out from the bowl of porridge] Hey,
get outta there, you gonna make people sick! [Mushu uses chopsticks to push Cri-Kee out of the porridge]
Mulan: Am I late?
Mushu [while feeding Mulan]: No time to talk. Now remember, it's your first day of training so listen to your teacher and no fighting. Play
nice with the other kids, unless of course one of the other kids wanna fight, then you have to kick the other kid's butt.
Mulan [with her mouth full of food]: But I don't wanna kick the other kid's butt.
Mushu: Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face [Mulan looks at him with wide eyes and chipmunk cheeks full of food].
I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. C'mon scare me, girl!
Mulan [swallows the food]: Rrrrrrr!
Mushu [rolling back into the half eaten bowl of porridge]: Oh, that's my tough looking warrior. That's what I'm talking about. Now get out
there and make me proud. [Mushu ties up Mulan's hair]
[Khan whinnies and pokes his head into the tent]
Mushu: What do you mean the troops just left?
Mulan [acting surprised]: They what!? [Mulan hurriedly puts on her clothes and jumps out of the tent going off to join the other recruits]
Mushu [running out from the tent calling after Mulan]: Wait, you forgot your sword. My little baby off to destroy people [sniffle].
[Cut to the troops muddling around near Shang's tent]
Chi Fu [enters stage left]: Order people, order!
Recruit #2: I'd like a pan fried noodle.
Chien-Po: Oh, oh, sweet and pungent shrimp [Ling and others begin to laugh]
Recruit #3: Moo goo gai pan
Chi Fu: That's not funny.
[Mulan comes running up to the group]
Ling [noticing Mulan's arrival]: Looks like our new friend slept in this morning. [Mulan stops between Ling and Yao] [to Ping] Hellooo Ping,
Are you hungry?
Yao: Yeah, 'cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich. [grabs Mulan by the shirt collar drawing back his other arm. Mulan hides her face with
her hands. Ling looks away, closes his eyes, and puts his fingers in his ears so that he wont hear anything]
All Soldiers [in agreement with Yao]: Yeah.
Shang [loudly]: Soldiers! [The soldiers line up quicky. Shang takes off his shirt and grabs a bow and quiver of arrows. Mulan is duly
impressed by Shang's physique] You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning. [Shang walks down the line of soldiers] Anyone who
acts otherwise will answer to me.
Yao: Ooooo, tough guy.
Shang [turning around with knocked arrow pointing towards Yao]: Yao. [All recruits take a step back leaving Yao one step forward. Shang
Points arrow skyward and shoots it into the top of a high pole] Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the arrow.
Yao [bows to Shang]: I'll get that arrow pretty boy. And I'll do it with my shirt on. [Yao prepares to leap onto that pole]
Shang: One moment, you seem to be missing something. [Chi Fu brings out two large bronze disks. Shang takes out one disk and holds it
high speaking to all the troops] This represents discipline [Shang hands the weight to Yao and the weight falls to the ground taking Yao's
arm with it] and this represents strength [Shang hands the other weight to Yao making him fall to the ground. The troops laugh while
Mulan looks concerned]. You need both to reach the arrow.
[Yao climbs up the pole then slips down under the weight. Ling, Chien-Po, and Mulan each take their turn and fall down. Mulan rubs her
behind as she walks away in front of Shang]
Shang: We've got a long way to go.
[Song I'll Make a Man Out of You]
[Shang throws staffs to the soldiers. Yao intercepts Mulan's staff and trips her with it]
Shang:
Let's get down to business--
to defeat the Huns.
[Shang throws up two clay pots and breaks them apart with his staff. The troops are highly impressed]
Recruits [putting their staffs out at arms length, spoken]: Hua
Shang:
Did they send me daughters
when I asked for sons? [Ling puts a cricket down Mulan's back causing her to flail erratically]
You're the saddest bunch
I ever met [Most soldiers fall as Mulan moves uncontrollably]
But you can bet
before we're through [Shang does a somersault in the air landing near Mulan. He takes a pole in the stomach. Shang stops Mulan and
takes her staff. He grabs her by the collar]
Mister, I'll make a man
out of you
[Shang steps on a lever throwing up 3 targets which he hits with 3 arrows from one bow]
Tranquil as a forest
[The recruits try and fail. Mulan gets ready to fire when Mushu sticks a target on her arrow before she shoots. Mulan looks at Mushu's in
shock and pauses. Shang looks disdainfully at Mulan as she cracks a huge smile]
But on fire within
[Shang balances a bucket of water on his head holding a staff. The recruits fire stones at him which Shang deflect with the staff]
Once you find your center
You are sure to win
[Mulan wobbles with the bucket of water on her head. As the recruits throw stones at her the bucket tips over onto her head]
You're a spineless, pale,
pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
[Shang throws his hand down into a river and retrieves a fish. Mulan throws her hand down into the river and retrieve's Yao's foot. Mushu
comes out of the water with a fish in hand to give to Mulan]
Somehow I'll make a man
out of you!
Chien-Po [running through a field of fire arrows]:
I'm never gonna catch
my breath
Yao [following Chien-Po, falls and gets hit in the butt with an arrow]:
Say good-bye to those
who knew me
Ling [Banging his head on a stone slab]:
Boy I was a fool in school
for cutting gym
[Shang practices martial arts with Mulan. With a punch to the face he knocks her back into a tree]
Mushu [from the tree acts as a boxing coach]:
This guy's got 'em
scared to death
Mulan [Mushu pushes Mulan back out into the ring]:
Hope he doesn't see
right through me
Chien-Po [stops as he's hopping across poles protruding from water causing Shang and the recruits to pile into him]:
Now I really wish that I
knew how to swim!
Shang and Chorus:
[Cannon fire misses the target in the middle of an open field. Ling kicks the support structure out from Mulan's cannon and it begins to fall.
Mulan quickly grabs the cannon and it fires high and back towards the camp landing and exploding Chi Fu's tent]
(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
[Picture of Shang looking over the camp from the hill not looking pleased]
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon
Shang [his troops laden with poles on their shoulders carrying bags of grain - one on each side. They march up a mountain]:
Time is racing toward us
till the Huns arrive
[Chi Fu points Shang's eyes back to a struggling Mulan who falls to the ground. Cri-Kee and Mushu try to pick her up but hide when Shang
comes up to her. Shang picks up her pole with grain, puts it on top of his and returns to the troops. Mulan looks rejected]
Heed my every order
and you might survive
[Shang hand the reigns of Khan to Mulan]
You're unsuited for
the rage of war
So pack up, go home,
you're through
How could I make a man
out of you?
Shang and Chorus [Mulan takes the weights and tries to climb the pole again]:
(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
[Mulan ties the weights together behind the pole and uses the cloth to help her shimmy up the pole]
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
[As the sun begins to rise the recruits come out of their tents to cheer on Mulan]
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
[As Shang comes out of his tent, the arrow he shot up onto the pole comes down to his feet. He looks up and sees Mulan sitting on top of
the pole]
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon
[order of events during the last repeat of the chorus:
Troops hit all targets with arrows correctly.
Mulan racing in front of Shang and the recruits with the pole and weights on her shoulders.
Mulan kicking Shang in the face with a round house. Shang looking pleased.
Chien-Po doing acrobatics on the poles as the troops follow.
Staffs being thrown to troops, Yao hands Mulan hers.
Yao running through arrows.
Yao grabs Mulan's staff and hands it to her.
Troop staff practice #1. (Hya)
Ling breaking the block
Troop staff Practice #2. (Hya)
Mulan holding up fish.
Troop staff practice #3.
Cannon fire hitting the Hun Target.
Troop staff practice #4 - jumping in the air (Hya)]
(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon
[End Song]
update later right now must take computer brake
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