Misunderstandings

I get that misunderstandings happen, but some are not fueled by simple confusion, but by assumptions. If a person is known to say mean things, it stands to reason that person could be misunderstood as saying things a certain way, because it's happened before.

If a person is known to be nice and has given no indication of being in the habit of saying mean things, then taking something in the worse way possible instead of asking for clarification reflects pessimism or defensiveness. Why assume that someone who is always nice suddenly turned mean? Isn't it more logical to think it was a misunderstanding?

If you don't know the person well and had negative experiences with others in the past, I suppose that could be at the root of the pessimism. Still, when people defend something so adamantly or show insistence, instead of simply stating their point and letting the matter speak the rest,  it makes me wonder if the matter cannot stand on it's own. Maybe it can, but if that's so, defensive stubbornness does it a great disservice.