Conversational Quotes

Jenny: Have you lost your mind?
Me: I'm trying to, but it keeps finding me.

Matt: I don't see what's so great about him. I mean you take away the muscles and the football jersey and the shoulder pads and what's left?
Conner: You.

Me: So when are you gonna tell Hillary you took your clothes back?
(enter Hillary) Hillary: Josh, use a coaster
Me: Half her closet goes missing but this she notices.

Kyle: Well I finally got a gig.
Jenny: See that's why I can't be a musician; I can't say gig.
Matt: I can't say metathethith...metithes......metaphaphaphis....
Jenny: Metathesis?
Matt: Yes, that.
(long pause)
Me: When...when does that problem actually occur?

Jill: Ok, who broke the lamp?
Danny: James threw the ball.
James: Danny missed it.
Danny: It was way off.
James: It wasn't.
Danny: James was in a Ryan Seacrest look-alike contest and WON! (looks to see if the distraction worked)
James: Danny came in 5th and cried.

Me: Wanna play Pac-Man?
Danny: I hate Pac-Man.
Me: You just hate it 'cause you suck at it.
Danny: I don't suck. It sucks....you suck

Me: Kyle, you want any chocolate milk?
Kyle: No thanks, I'm 20

(rehearsing for a play while angry with each other)
Jenny: Ok time-out. Why does my character even like him?
Teacher: Because he's wealthy.
Jenny: I think she's gonna need a lot more of a reason.
Brad: Look just do the scene. I don't get why my character would like you either, in the script it says you're a b itch.
(looks) Jenny: It doesn't say that.
Brad: It does in mine.

Brad: She thinks she's the greatest actress since...like...sliced bread!
Me: Ah, yes, Sliced Bread. I loved her in that thing with Helen Hunt.

Libby: God, history is always about people from like...a long time ago. And then there's just a bunch of numbers in math. And english is just like...wordy.
Me: How do you not fall down more often?

Anna: Does anyone want any of the leftover chicken?
Alexandra: What's left?
Anna: Um I've got three legs, one breast, and four wings.
Me: It must suck trying to find clothes that fit.

Danny: Any advice about chicks?
Matt: Bird or women?
Danny: Bird.
Matt: No.
Danny: Women?
Matt:...No
...
Me: Then did it really matter?

(calling someone) Kyle: I got the machine
Me: What, the answering machine?
Kyle: No, the toaster answered. It was weird.

Matt: I don't have any idea how this happened
Conner: Well start from the beginning and see where it all went wrong.
Matt: Well Sydney wanted to go to the movies, so I thought -
Conner: There it is.

James: My girlfriend kissed Eliza Porter.
Me: Who's Eliza Porter?
James: Does it MATTER?

Alexandra: Flip the coin.
Meredith: Alright, heads I win, tails you lose.
Alexandra: No, no, no. I'm not falling for that. Tails YOU win, heads I lose.
Meredith: Um...ok. (Flips coin) Tails.
Alexandra: Crap.
...
Alexandra: Wait a minute!...No wait that's right.
Me: You lose a lot, don't you?
Alexandra: Yes! It's so weird!

Conner: I've got such a controversial topic for the history project.
Macey: What is it?
Conner: I've gotta present stuff about homo erectus.
Me:...How...how is that controversial?
Conner: Um, duh? Gay people?
Me: Conner, homo erectus are people.
Conner: I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. Geez!

Alexandra: What is whey?
Me and Meredith: What?
Alexandra: Yea you know, humpty dumpty sat on a wall, eating his curds and whey?

James: Ew. I hate spiders.
Matt: Oh, be a man.
James: Oh, look like one.