A vivid memory....
Blog Entry: A vivid memory....
Blog Entry: A vivid memory....
One of my more vivid memories....
I remember ...it is still kinda blurry though.... but when I was around 4 -5 years old I think I went up the stairs in my old two story home and was playing with my toys... ( barbie car to be specific) I was outside my mom's and dad's room...the door was just opened up a crack I think...
so I decided to listen in.... they were arguing, after that I don't remember much. All I know is some time later they were divorced and I had a seperation syndrom, anxiety disorder that turned into a depression syndrom, and so on and so forth for about 6-8 years of my if until me now ^-^; heheh I really am tired I think I don't know why I am writing this down...maybe I am tired of keeping it a secret...
I can't even remember if that was a dream from my childhood or if it really happened; I guess it shocked me that much or something. heheh I am so stupid not being able to remember it or not. I have been deciding on it for years ever since my parents divorced... all I know is that I think it changed my life,
I don't know, sometimes I guess I feel that it might be my fault that they divorced, even though most of me knows better than that(I have some minor split personalities). oh well I guess the past should remain where it is left... maybe that is why I shut off most of my memories from back then....
Maybe I should try opening some of the memories up again...maybe just an itty bitty crack...
Oh wait I tried that...didn't turn out to well and it was shut again...
....wow I must really have a screwed up past or it sounds overexageratted 0.0
I don't know I am tired ^-^; heh heh
I remember ...it is still kinda blurry though.... but when I was around 4 -5 years old I think I went up the stairs in my old two story home and was playing with my toys... ( barbie car to be specific) I was outside my mom's and dad's room...the door was just opened up a crack I think...
so I decided to listen in.... they were arguing, after that I don't remember much. All I know is some time later they were divorced and I had a seperation syndrom, anxiety disorder that turned into a depression syndrom, and so on and so forth for about 6-8 years of my if until me now ^-^; heheh I really am tired I think I don't know why I am writing this down...maybe I am tired of keeping it a secret...
I can't even remember if that was a dream from my childhood or if it really happened; I guess it shocked me that much or something. heheh I am so stupid not being able to remember it or not. I have been deciding on it for years ever since my parents divorced... all I know is that I think it changed my life,
I don't know, sometimes I guess I feel that it might be my fault that they divorced, even though most of me knows better than that(I have some minor split personalities). oh well I guess the past should remain where it is left... maybe that is why I shut off most of my memories from back then....
Maybe I should try opening some of the memories up again...maybe just an itty bitty crack...
Oh wait I tried that...didn't turn out to well and it was shut again...
....wow I must really have a screwed up past or it sounds overexageratted 0.0
I don't know I am tired ^-^; heh heh