the evil inside

As we all struggle to become better persons, there will always be moments where we start to think less of ourselves. I myself am not exempted from this. I always end up thinking that I am a bad person no matter how much I strive to do otherwise. In my life, I always try to be just and fair. As much as possible, I elude myself from encountering situations where I have to sacrifice my principles in life. Yet temptations will always be temptations. Tempting us, inviting us to forget all about the things we’ve been protecting for just one moment of sinfulness.

Falling back is one shameful thing for me. But despite this, I always find myself back on my own two feet again. I know back sliding over and over again is not a pleasurable thing. It makes you think twice, and oftentimes, it’s the reason why we look down on ourselves. But then again, we have to look at the situation in the perspective of God. That’s because with Him, our sinfulness doesn’t matter. Rather, He looks at us with so much love that the sins don’t really mean a thing. This is precisely the main reason why even though I know that I am so much stained with dirt, I am still a person with worth. Yes, I sin! But that doesn’t make me less of a person, and the fact that I got back on my feet is a well enough reason for me to continue living.

Life offers us a lot of choices. And believe me; I keep on picking up wrong choices. But then again, God offers life vests to keep us from drowning. This is the best part of life, being able to correct all the mistakes we’ve done. We can never undo them, but we can always correct them. And this life vest I’m talking about? Well, they can be just anybody in our lives. A friend, our parents, anyone! As for me, he’s a person who never stopped believing in me – even if I stopped believing in myself. As I struggle with life, and as I start reverting, this person sees to it that I stop with all the self pity and that I stop entertaining the idea that I am hopeless. That’s because in reality, I am full of hope. Because again, God offers a lot of choices and He provided me with a very durable life vest. Humans are never without error. Temptations are never without evil. And as a human being strives to avoid the temptations, he/she also strives to evade the evil longing inside him/her. By making errors, we tend to give in to temptations and that’s why we are never without evil. But in a manner of perception again, we have to keep in mind that there is hope, because we are also not without goodness. Its just up to us to decide which side is truly dominant.

The evil inside us is not easy to overcome. But I truly believe that if we have someone who believes in us, someone who reminds us of our goodness, and together with God’s ever loving kindness, we can start saying that conquering the evil inside us is just part of life’s exciting journey. Again, life and everything else is just a matter of perspective.