TORN

I am feeling so torn, my heart feels like it has shaddered into different directions, greedily taken by everyone that I love....i wanna share my love, but it is hard when the peices of my heart are spread out, with no way of connecting them back together again, like humpy dumpy, i feel like i can never be put back together again.
I miss the love that was shared not only from me but everyone around me. where has that love gone? I ask myself that more than ever now, and to my disappointment, no one has the true answer for me. I am torn between many lives that I share with so many people.
For sure now, I am hating to be the Hush Puppy, always holding all theses secrets from so many people, i hold them and never tell, but some.....never keep mine safe in the vault. I feel like I am being eaten alive, by the secrets the stain my soul with hatred, I hate having to bare the pain of holding back from loved ones.
I am not typing this in anyway to seem rude, obnoxious, selfish, greedy, or even Emo........I am finally setting my feet down, and taking my true stand against this so called world that i live in, i am making my voice known.
I am always going to be the friend that you will always depend on, but don't tear me down for just the pure joy on entertainment in anyway. I may sound harsh, but i never speak my mind because I am afraid of the critisim afterward.....
No longer will I stand silent. Please understand how i feel, I truely love everyone involved in my life, but if you so choose, make me part of your life that is important, not the tool that you can throw away and forget about when you are done with me.

LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
with all my love
Ashley Ashby........