unfinished

What? You have not heard of Dadzilla? Allow me to introduce you:

Behold!

I am Dadzilla,the

frightening & super evil

monster with big WWWWW

fangs for crunching up the

cherished dreams

of young girls like

my daughter,Jasmine.

Whose are my most favorite and extra

good,washed down with a sip of

her teensy-tiny tears of girlish dismay.

(Tears of dismay are quite delicious.)

I know multiply sly tricks to coax forth

the small sweat tears,such as:The Why Not

Ruin Jas's Life one,which,after years of hard toil,

I have finally perfected. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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If her father in bike shorts is something a girl should never ever have to see, him in them from the back is that times a hundered million. Especially if they happen to have the words SIR LIGHTNING emblazoned across the rear in bright yellow. And double especially if he then does a deep knee bend and says, "I quite like these shorts, Sher. I may start wearing them all the time."
Which is the answer to the question: Which one of the Four Sentences of the Apocalypse is guaranteed to bring on the End Times?
In case anyone ever asks you.

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I am glad Trouble
is not ice cream because then
I could not have any.

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Allow me to pause here for a moment to say that while it might be unusual for most people to have others shouting "RUN!: at them, it happens to me pretty often. And I've developed a simple set of guidelines for these situations:
Little Life Lesson 2: Don't do it.
Little Life Lesson 3: Ever.
Little Life Lesson 4: Especially if you are trying to be a Model Daughter and the person who yelled it at you is a nineteen-year-old girl dressed like a homeless pixie whose life goal is to Write on Rice and who adds, with a quiver in her voice, "they're going to kill me, too."
They. Are. Going. To. Kill. Me.
TOO.

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The nice thing about having your head dive-bombed by pigeons-- besides how lovely comma un it feels-- is that you can't see anything. Which, okay, doesn't matter that much when you are busy being the pull toy of Le Crazy Person. But seeing does come in handy when Le Crazy stops without warning and you keep going, crashing into something hard. Something that says, "Che diavolo fai? Sei pazza?"
This does not mean "Ah, just what I wanted today, a very tall girl to fly into my arms!" but is more along the lines of "What the hell are you doing? Are you insane?" Not the kind of thing Model Daughters want to hear, ever.

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Little Life Lesson 8: If the police already think you are making up a friend, having the person you described as a crazed assassin march right up to you and say "Bellissima! Eccomi qui!" (Beautiful lady! Here I am!) will not help your credibility any.

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I was so stunned that by the time I reacted he was already talking to Officer Allegrini, saying in Italian, "Thank you very much, my friend. We shall not detain you any longer. this lady has apologized and I have graciously decided not to press charges. Also I will tell my uncle, the capo of police, what a good job you have done. Now leave us , we would be alone."
And Officer Allegrini did! After hitting me with a look that said seeing me again wasn't going to top his-to-do list, he melted into the crowed like lozenge. Leaving me completely on my own with someone who, while probably not an assassin, had just chased me halfway around the city.
Who was now smiling at me and saying "At last, it is just the two of us! I thought he would never leave!" There were probably three hundred things I should have said but what came out instead was "your uncle is not the head of the police."